Chapter Nine

Fighting Gravity

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long

No matter what I say or do

I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch

You keep me without chains

I never wanted anything so much

Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me, and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile

When I thought that I was strong

But you touch me for a little while

And all my fragile strength is gone

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see

That you're everything I think I need

Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe

Though I can't seem to let you go

The one thing I still know

Is that you're keeping me down

- Sara Bareilles, Gravity

December 25, A.C. 196

Golden rays streamed into Heero's eyes, rousing him from his slumber. He thought, at first, that he must be staring directly into the sun. As he blinked his bleary eyes open, still heavy from his languid sleep, he saw that the sunshine beaming through the nearby window was in fact the culprit—but so was the flaxen head of hair swaying just inches above him.

He opened his eyes fully and found he was staring into the face of an angel. Was it a dream?

"Heero!" her voice rang. He blinked once more and the gorgeous face came into focus. Her sapphire-colored eyes sparkled down at him. She gave his hands a squeeze. "I'm so glad you're all right."

"Relena?" Heero looked around to take in his whereabouts. He was in a hospital room, which irked him; she had obviously brought him there. The events from last night quickly came rushing back to him, and he remembered the exhaustive battle, the victory, and his ultimately rescuing Relena from the underground base of the Brussels presidential residence. Or was she the one who had saved him?

"Relena," he tried again, finding his voice. He moved to sit up, but she gently pushed him back.

"Don't even think about it," she admonished. "You've sustained serious injuries. Your Gundam was obliterated, remember?"

"Hn." Heero murmured, running a hand through his unruly dark hair. "Yeah, it was." He peered at Relena thoughtfully. The picture of nobility was perched on the edge of his bed clad in a pink suit, her hair in a high ponytail. It had gotten even longer since the last time he saw her. He reached up and gave her locks a playful tug. "Guess it doesn't matter, now; I'll no longer be needing it."

Relena dazzled him with an affectionate smile. "No, you won't." She regarded him thoughtfully, tilting her head to one side. "Heero, tell me… How does that make you feel?"

He took a moment to reflect on the question, gazing out the nearby window. It was a bright, cloudless morning, and he remembered it was Christmas Day. The first Christmas in years where the world would finally be in peace. His thoughts turned once more to the little girl and her dog he had once encountered in a field of flowers. He felt, finally, that they'd been vindicated. He turned his eyes back to his angel, his savior.

"Relieved," he answered her. "And ready to start over."

She gave his hand another affectionate squeeze. "I'm glad," she whispered.

He squeezed back, rubbing her soft skin with his thumb. It felt good to be close to her again. He wouldn't admit it under pain of death, but he'd missed her. It had been several months since their encounter with the remnants of White Fang, when the two of them had hid out with the other Gundam pilots on an abandoned colony that Heero ultimately decided to detonate. Before going their separate ways, Heero pulled Relena in for a kiss. Their first kiss. He hadn't kissed her since, hadn't even seen her, but he'd wanted to. He had returned to his quiet life on campus, while she had been busy trying to maintain the balance of a fragile peace.

It was all over now. Heero knew without a doubt the remaining mobile suits would be destroyed; Quatre, with Relena's support, would see to it. Now, former soldiers like Heero, Wufei and the rest of the pilots would be forced to reconcile their new roles in the emerging era. Heero wondered if his place was by her side.

"What will you do now?" Relena spoke softly, penetrating his thoughts.

"Hn," came his trademark reply. "School, work. You know. I'm just a regular guy." He gave her a slight smirk.

"Is that so?" Relena smiled back. "And where are you working these days?"

"Why?" Heero sat up and brought his face mere inches from Relena's, closing the remaining distance between them. He chuckled softly just before their lips met. "Know someone who's hiring?"

May 20, A.C. 202

"Heero… You're fired."

Heero stared after Relena in disbelief. Was she serious?

"You can't just fire me, Relena." He strode after her. "Not in the middle of an assignment."

"Yes, I can," she retorted, "and I am."

Heero stood in her doorframe, folding his arms over his chest. "I don't work for just you, you know. I answer to Preventers at large. And they employ me to you under contract—"

"And that contract, you'll recall," Relena interjected, "states that I have the right to terminate employment at any time, without forewarning. And you have the right to do the same. Shall I phone my attorney? Or would you rather we just call Une?" She brandished her mobile phone at him.

Heero reached out and lowered her extended hand.

"That won't be necessary," he glowered. "I'll agree to vacate my position. And move out," he added through gritted teeth, "once we return to Sanc. But on one condition: I must finish out the week. I'm not going to abandon you in the middle of a mission."

"Why is it you feel so strongly about this—this mission?" Relena snatched her hand back indignantly. "Is your integrity all of a sudden getting in the way?"

Heero lowered his head. "Relena…" He sensed she had more fury to unleash. It seemed the former queen had years' worth of angst stored up, ready to hurl against him.

To his surprise, Relena ceased fire. Her shoulders slumped as she released a heavy sigh.

"Just go, Heero. I'll be fine."

"No." Heero took another step toward her. "I swore to protect you."

Relena laughed bitterly. "You can't seem to protect me from yourself, though, can you? Let someone else do the job."

He shook his head vigorously. She wasn't getting it. The other Preventers could do an adequate job, sure. But to him, guarding Relena was more than just a job. He'd made an eternal vow to protect her, no matter who her enemies were. No one else had sworn themselves to her, to his knowledge. It was a promise he backed up with his life. And so watching her was more than his duty; it was his life's work. He worked twenty-four seven, over time, weekends, holidays—he never abandoned his post. By firing him, she was asking Heero to forsake his life's mission, and to give her up forever.

He raked a hand through his tangled hair, trying to think of a way to get her to see reason.

"Relena…" he began. "Last night… I just wasn't thinking straight. I screwed up. It was a momentary lapse in judgment."

"When?" Relena practically howled with laughter. "You mean when you tried to seduce me, or when you insulted me?"

Heero clamped his eyes shut. "Relena…"

"No, really, Heero! I want to know—which one of those instances was the bad judgment call?"

Heero opened his mouth to answer, but once again, she wouldn't let him.

"And don't say it was my fault," she chided, wagging a finger at him, "or that you simply couldn't help yourself because I was naked… which, by the way, people have to be in order to take a bath!"

Heero blinked. "You were in a hot tub."

Relena exhaled, causing her bangs to fly up. "Heero Yuy, that's a mere technicality!"

She stormed over to her bed, slammed her paperwork down, and began shoving the lot into her briefcase.

"I'm tired of arguing with you, tired of crying over you, tired of agonizing over all of our issues… in short, I'm tired." She pinched the bridge of her nose, as if trying to quell an oncoming headache. "Now please, just go do something. Anything. I just… I can't even look at you."

She stopped fumbling with her briefcase and buried her face in her hands. Heero reached out to touch her shoulder, and she whirled angrily on him, a ball of blonde fury. Those sky blue eyes were rimmed with red. How was it she managed to look so angelic when she was mad?

"Heero, please!" she cried. "Just go."

Heero took a chance and rested his hand on her shoulder anyway. He expected her to flinch at his touch, but she kept still.

"I don't want to leave you," he murmured.

Her eyes regarded him sadly. "You made that choice already, Heero."

"But, Relena…"

She shook her head firmly. "No."

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Both pairs of blue eyes widened in surprise at one another. They had been so caught up in their personal war, it was as if an outside world did not exist. The knock was a reminder that it did, and something else finally required their attention.

Relena practically tripped over herself in her rush to answer the door. Heero beat her to it and blocked her way. He never let her open doors without knowing exactly who was on the other side first.

"Relena," he warned. His eyes told her to step back. She obeyed, looking annoyed.

Satisfied that she'd let him win one battle, at least, Heero peered through the peep hole to see an old friend. The timing wasn't great, but he was glad that it wasn't Duo.

Heero yanked open the door, and Quatre swept into the suite.

Relena squealed and all but leapt into his arms. "Kat!"

"Lena!"

The two embraced as if they hadn't seen each other at some other conference or ceremony or something or other in the past few months. Hell, Relena saw Quatre all the time. Before learning that Relena was fond of phoning Duo, Heero had thought Quatre to be her sole confidant, besides himself.

Relena released peels of laughter as Quatre twirled her around, ballroom dance style. He giggled right along with her. When the two of them got together, they had an uncanny knack for bringing out one another's inner three-year-old. Never mind that each one had been burdened with prestigious, demanding careers since they were teenagers. Since they'd each been denied a childhood, it only made sense that they would revert back to a more youthful state in one another's presence. Heero just wished it wasn't so goddamned annoying.

"Look at you." Quatre held Relena by the waist, surveying her up and down. "You're a vision, as always." The platinum haired executive gave the darker blonde politician a peck on the cheek. "And did you cut your hair?"

Relena patted her shoulder-length hair and laughed daintily. "Oh, this? It was only a trim, really."

Quatre beamed at her. "Well, you look flat-out gorgeous." Relena blushed.

Heero might be jealous, if Quatre wasn't so flaming.

Quatre seemed to notice Heero for the first time, and gave a start when he took in the former Wing Zero pilot's matted hair, tattered shirt, and bloodied fist.

"Uh, hi Heero." Quatre cleared his throat nervously as he released Relena. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Heero growled.

"Heero… had a rough night," Relena offered weakly. Quatre swung questioning eyes over to her, and she shrugged her response. The silent communication between the two privileged blonds irritated Heero.

"I see," Quatre responded, as if telling Relena that he expected a full report later. He turned his attention back to Heero. "Are you, ah, escorting Relena to breakfast?"

"Goodness, no," Relena answered for her bodyguard. Her ex-bodyguard. "Heero hasn't been feeling well. He needs to take a nice, hot shower, and get some rest." She looked at Heero pointedly.

"Wow, Heero, sorry about that." Quatre scratched the back of his head. "Hope you feel better."

"Thanks," Heero mumbled, simultaneously glaring in Relena's direction. This wasn't over, as far as he was concerned.

"Well, Lena, should we get going then?"

Relena paused, still looking at Heero. She pursed her lips. "Ah… yes, Kat. I'll be ready in a minute."

Quatre seemed to discern that there was something deeper going on between the politician and the Preventer—as usual. He tugged at his necktie, as if the room had suddenly become too hot. "Right, then," he laughed nervously. "I'll just wait for you in the hall."

Relena waited until Quatre had made his exit before walking wordlessly back to Heero, linking her arm through his, and steering him back toward her bedroom.

"You can stay," Relena said softly, "until tomorrow morning. That should give Preventer enough time to send a replacement. I'll give Une a call after breakfast."

"No," Heero said flatly. "I'll do it."

Relena sighed, reading his mind once more. "You don't have to worry, Heero; I won't say anything about… what happened between us. I'll just tell her that you aren't well."

That was even worse, Heero thought. If Une had cause to think Heero was seriously ill, depressed, mentally unstable, or generally incapable of handling his duties, then he would be dismissed from the Preventers altogether. He shook his head firmly.

"I'll do it." He leveled Relena with a look that said he meant business.

"Fine," Relena gave in. "Just tell her I need someone ready to go by 8 a.m. sharp. Okay?"

Heero just nodded in compliance.

"Great." Relena dropped Heero's arm then, as if she'd forgotten she'd been holding onto it. "Well." Her face colored slightly. "I'd better be going." She looked up to scan his dark eyes once more; hers were clearly still troubled. She opened her mouth to say something else, but quickly clamped it shut. Then she grabbed her briefcase and ran out of the room without another word.

Once Heero heard the suite door click, he stripped off his ruined clothes and contemplated what to do with them. He should burn them, he thought. He settled for tossing them in the bathroom trash. On his way to the shower, he passed the hot tub that had been the source of all his trouble, starting last night. He glared at the evil object, as if doing so would cause it to burst into flames. Of course, it did nothing. He snarled. He wouldn't readily admit it to Relena, but sometimes, he missed violence. He missed explosions, and being the one who caused them. Sometimes he wished he could find some abandoned mobile suit factory or dilapidated colony and blow it to smithereens. Detonating the one near the L3 cluster six years ago, the place where he'd shared his first kiss with Relena, had been quite cathartic for him. He hadn't gotten to fire at anything massive since the day he destroyed Wing Zero.

He walked past the mirror he'd smashed with his fist last night, and his visage haunted him through the shattered pieces. No—there was the real source of his trouble. Picking up the gun he always had on him, which he'd set down after removing his clothes, Heero aimed for his face in the mirror and sent a bullet right through his left eye.

The glass was pulverized, sending dusty shards flying all around him. Heero felt a smack of satisfaction. He'd clean the mess up later, before Relena could come back and wind up stepping on the broken pieces, like she would.

Heero stepped around the disarray he'd created and into the shower. He let the steam and hot water envelop him until he lost track of time. How long had he been awake, anyway? It felt like days. It probably was.

Before sleep could overtake him while standing up, he turned off the faucet and stumbled toward his unused bed. He collapsed on top of it before he could even turn down the duvet and slip inside.

His dreams were a jumbled mix of kissing Relena, piloting Wing Zero, shooting his twin buster rifle at Zechs, and punching the crap out of Duo. Somewhere in the middle of it all, his thoughts swirled with images of Misaki, who was or wasn't his birth mother, along with his earliest father figure, Odin Lowe. When Odin appeared in the dream firing his gun at a faceless man, dragging a young Heero off with him and laughing maniacally, Heero bolted awake.

He rolled over and checked the clock on the nightstand—it was just after 9 a.m. Heero could hardly believe he'd only slept for a few short hours. He remembered his early morning conversation with Misaki, who had mentioned that she'd be taking a break around 10. If Heero left now, he'd make it back to that café in plenty of time. Now that Relena had dismissed him, he at least had time on his hands to explore this possible link to his past. That was the one good thing about being fired, he supposed.

First, he needed to call Une, before Relena beat him to it. Heero got up and dressed in his Preventer uniform. He was on duty for the remainder of the day, at least; he might as well look official. Then he queued up his vid-phone and dialed HQ.

"Heero," Une answered, giving him a frosty smile. He'd worked with her on and off for years and knew she was no longer a menace, but she still gave off the cool composure of a soldier. "Good to see you. How are things going at the ESUN conference?"

"Fine, so far," Heero replied. "But something's come up."

Une quirked one eyebrow, then quickly schooled her features to mask any alarm. "Is that so? Everything all right? Need any back-up?"

That was just like the formal colonel, getting right down to business. Heero was glad she didn't waste any time with banter.

"I do need someone, but everything's fine," Heero started.

The head of Preventer eyed him quizzically. "Why, what's going on?" Une didn't like to dispatch too many Preventers in one place unless absolutely necessary, as each agent was a precious commodity. Highly trained, skillful warriors, Preventers weren't run of the mill police, security personnel or bodyguards. If Heero was requesting assistance, the situation was probably a deadly one.

Heero could sense Une's anxiety and hesitation.

"Don't worry," he said right away. "There's just a… family situation."

Une freely showed her surprise this time. "Family? Whose, Relena's? Or… yours?" Heero could see her brows knit together in confusion, trying to piece it all together. Une knew that Heero, like most of the former Gundam pilots, had no family; not that he, or anyone else, knew about.

"It's… uh, well." How should Heero explain this to his boss? He raked a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure yet, but it could be…"

"Is Relena pregnant?"

Une shocked Heero with her bluntness. And Heero was not easily shocked. He had just never heard "Relena" and "pregnant" in the same sentence before, and the thought terrified him. He hadn't even done anything to impregnate her.

"What? No!" Heero shouted, perhaps a little too forcefully. He lowered his voice. "No. It has to do with me. And my birth mother… maybe." He sat back and folded his arms. That was all he cared to explain; it should be enough. Besides, he'd never once asked for a vacation or cashed in any of his accrued personal days; did he really have to go in-depth as to why he needed a little time?

Une seemed even more stunned by this revelation than the possibility of Relena carrying Heero's child.

"Oh…" She blinked. "All right, Heero, we can certainly accommodate you. But please, if you wouldn't mind, let me know how things go." Une lowered her voice and leaned closer to the screen. "We… well, I… have some resources that could be of use to you."

"Huh?" Heero wasn't sure what he was hearing. He leaned forward, too, pressing Une to go on. "What are you talking about?"

Une cleared her throat. "Just, ah, you know… some files, documentations that have recently come to light. I've compiled much of it and have kept it to myself. I didn't want to alarm anyone with my discovery…"

Something gripped Heero—fury, panic, he wasn't sure. But he needed to know exactly what Une was saying.

"If you have something on me, anything, you need to disclose it to me right away," Heero growled.

"I do have something," Une confessed. "And I will show you as soon as possible…"

"Now," Heero urged. "Encrypt the data and send it over. I have a secure line."

Une shook her head. "You need to come here in person. It's… complicated."

"What?" Heero seethed. He couldn't believe this bureaucratic bullshit. "Why?"

"Because it's not something," Une answered, "so much as someone."

A/N:

Dear Quatre Raberba Winner,

Please accept my sincerest apologies. Your heterosexuality became a necessary casualty to my storyline, so that I could inject some much-needed comic relief into an otherwise angst-ridden tale. I know that you are continually depicted as gay in yaoi doujinshi and fanfics, despite your creators' insistence that the implication of your deep, burning love for Trowa was never their intention. At the same time, they've never insisted that you're straight! But nevertheless, I'm sorry. I hope your reputation as CEO of Winner Enterprises can withstand the slander. And for the record, if you ever did go gay, I'd still find you really cute. Kitty-Quat for the Win… ner! ^_^

Love and kisses,

Aeris Eithne

Gundam Wing fanfic author, journalist, and psychopath who talks to non-existent anime characters

To you, faithful reader:

As always, thanks for reading! This story is kicking my butt in my haste to get it out of my brain, onto this site, and into your line of vision! But like Tinkerbell, I need applause to keep me alive! Ok, it doesn't all have to be praise, but feedback is greatly appreciated and helps feed the story, as well as my motivation!

Thanks for the love! ^_^ If you have something you'd like me to read, I'd be happy to return the favor!