I'm back with the second chapter! I just want to say thank you to all those who reviewed and followed! I love you, even though I don't know you. I'm scared to post this chapter because of what happens and all that but this was my plan from the beginning so I'm not going to change anything. I just hope no one leaves me because of it! It's good, though! Okay, I'm rambling. Anyway, thank you again and I hope nobody is disappointed with this chapter!
BrittBrat03: I DO know you! Peeta is everyone's favorite, they just don't know it! Of course, I know you're not leaving me... you are my beta and sister. I know where you live, remember that.
Imagine03: I hope you stay excited! I tried really hard with this story and let's hope I don't disappoint. Thank you for reviewing!
xiwowangyi: Thank you! I hope you keep thinking that! Thank you again!
yodel: I'm glad you love it! It better stay that way haha. And oh, an expert at knives? Are you as good as Clove? ;) Thank you again!
CrystalSkyDrops175: Thank you! I hope I stick to that realistic manner you spoke of, I tried my hardest with this story. I hope this chapter doesn't change your mind on your review, I just really see the characters like this. Thank you again, I hope to see you review again!
THANK YOU TO MY FOLLOWERS TOO. I love y'all. :) and don't be afraid to be honest in your reviews either! enjoy.
Chapter Two.
Peeta knows Katniss would be hurt when he requested to train alone but both him and Haymitch know why. They can't risk Katniss over hearing their plans of protecting her all throughout the Games and so it was better she be hurt and hide in her room while they speak than her be right there. His and Haymitch's conversations are all about Katniss, all about keeping her alive, all about making an alliance with the Careers, all about not getting killed himself. Together, they make a plan. Peeta wouldn't go straight into the bloodbath at the Cornucopia, that would be asking for death. Instead, he'd run straight into the woods, don't look back. Later on, after the bloodbath dies down, he'll approach the Careers and use his skill of words to get into their alliance. There was a very high risk that they would just stab him and move on but Haymitch believed Peeta could convince them into letting him in. Peeta isn't as sure but he'll go along with Haymitch, for Katniss. For Katniss... sometimes, he hated hearing that name. It was all about Katniss.
He had a chance of winning, right? Why is it Katniss that got all the attention, all the praise? All the thought of winning? After he had those moments, guilt would eat away at him. Of course it was all Katniss they were talking about. She was amazing. But sometimes... sometimes, he hated hearing her name. He had to admit to himself, he envied her. Everybody was so sure of her, so ready to jump to her defense. It annoyed him. What was so special about her? Then his mind would conflict that thought, telling him she had a right to be defended, to be believed in. She was special, she was the Girl on Fire. And he was just the Boy with the Bread. He hates the inner conflict; the torn feelings of envy and hate for the Girl on Fire, the feelings of love and admiration. He takes a deep, steadying breath as he sits beside said girl, waiting for their turn to show their skills to the Gamemakers. He feels like he did after their big entrance; sick to his stomach, needing anything to anchor him down. But he's sure Katniss wouldn't want to hold hands with him so instead, he leans forward on his knees and takes another deep breath. A robotic voice calls Katniss Everdeen and he turns to her as she slowly gets up. She looks as shaken as he feels. She begins to walk towards the door and Peeta finds her name slipping off his tongue. She looks back, raising her eyebrows, waiting. He isn't sure what to say, isn't even sure why he said her name, but he's quick on his feet.
"Shoot straight," he tells her, giving her a tiny smile.
She gives a nervous one back before disappearing into the room. He's left alone with his thoughts. He can barely think straight as he stares at the closed door, wondering how she was fairing. Wondering if they were as intrigued with the Girl on Fire as everyone seemed to be. Wondering if she had them wrapped around her fingers, so caught up in her marvelous self. There goes the bitterness again, the anger, the swelling hate. He takes another deep breath and lets it out noisily through his nose. He grabs at his hair, yanking on the blonde strands and breathing deeply. He pushes those harsh feelings of Katniss away and tells himself to stop. She deserves the attention, she deserves what she's getting because, if anyone can win it, it's Katniss Everdeen. But there's that part of him that's telling him, no. She doesn't deserve any of it. He deserves some of it, at least a little of it. He has as much of a chance as her, doesn't he? ... Doesn't he? He's glad when the door opens and Katniss comes striding out.
"How did you do?" he asks, jumping to his feet. She looks angry and just huffs, stomping past him and leaving. He watches her go, his eyes widening. Did she do that bad? Would everyone lose hope in her and turn to him? It was wrong to think but it goes through his head and guilt starts eating at him. His mind's so jumbled, he isn't sure what to think of himself anymore. He said he didn't want to be changed, he didn't want this to change who he was. Yet here he is, being bitter and hateful. Or maybe that was always in him and it was just coming out of him. He hears that robotic voice call his name and slowly, he enters the room. The Gamemakers are all sitting down, quiet and watching him enter. He stares up at them as he walks towards the weight rack, wondering what Katniss did. There's a frown on all their faces and they all look to be paying attention a bit too much.
He'll find out when he gets back, he knows that. He announces himself and his district, his voice coming out strong, even though his palms were sweaty. He wonders if they'll be impressed with his strength as he picks up one of the lighter weights. He sees the dummies, lit up and ready, and he stares at the one closest to him. He takes a deep breath and tosses it. The weight smashes into the dummy's head, causing it to crack and fall off, the weight rolling away. He does this each time, getting a heavier weight and throwing them at the dummies, taking off a body part or putting a huge dent in them. When he's finished, he bows towards the Gamemakers, seeing a few nods and looks of approval. He's glad some of them seem impressed. He quickly leaves, wanting to know what Katniss got herself into.
He wonders if she's too strong for her own good. She obviously did something wrong, right? He finds out just as the elevator doors open because Effie is throwing a fit. She's stomping around in those ridiculously high-heeled shoes, her Capitol accent thicker as she yells at Katniss, making it shrill and irritating. Katniss snaps something back and disappears into her room. Peeta stands there awkwardly as Effie yells about manners. "Oh, Peeta," Effie said once she realizes he's there. She takes a deep breath. "Go get cleaned up and dressed." she demands of him and stomps off, in search of Haymitch. Peeta pinches the bridge of his nose, the curiosity eating him up as he goes and does as told. He showers and gets dressed. He can hear muffled voices that were loud and slowly enters the living room. Effie is at Katniss again, who is sitting on the couch, waiting for them to announce their scores. He takes a seat beside Katniss and watches Effie, knowing she was red under that heavy make-up.
"Okay," he interrupts Effie who mumbles something about manners, "What did you do?"
"She shot an arrow at the Gamemakers!" Effie yells.
"You what?" Peeta turns shocked eyes at Katniss. Does she know what they could do to her? Sure, they've done a lot to her now but they could do more horrible things.
"At an apple in a pig's mouth! I wasn't aiming for their heads, Effie," Katniss practically growls, glaring at the Capitol woman.
Effie straightens up, slapping a fan against her hand. "I do not care, Katniss! You do not send an arrow towards any of them!" she yells, her accent even thicker and harder to understand.
Peeta leans back, watching the two women bicker back and forth. Cinna is obviously on Katniss' side, sending Effie glares when she says something harsh about the Girl on Fire. Portia is staying out of it, just watching like Peeta. Peeta's relieved and he wonders why. And his answer comes to him as he starts digging for it. He's relieved Katniss is being yelled at, that she's getting in trouble. He's relieved she did wrong and they were realizing she isn't a saint. And he hates himself for those thoughts but it's true. Even the all mighty Katniss Everdeen fucked up. He closes his eyes and leans his head back. He doesn't need to think this way. He doesn't have a right to have such bitter feelings towards Katniss. After all, he's suppose to love her. But even he's questioning that with how bitter he gets around her. He opens his eyes when he hears Haymitch entering. Oh, this ought to be good. Haymitch gets easily angry with him, let's see how mad he gets about this. Peeta finds himself leaning forward, ready for the outburst that only Haymitch Abernathy can deliver. He's ready to see Katniss get shoved to the ground and kicked, not literally, of course. Never literally. He just wants her to be knocked off her pedestal.
And then Haymitch surprises them all by praising her. "Nice shooting, sweetheart," he says with a thumbs-up her way and Peeta wants to explode. Wants to yell she isn't as special as anyone thinks she is and that she fucked up. But Effie is yelling at him and then Haymitch cuts her off and makes the best point. "Who are they going to take it out on? On her? On him?" at least Peeta's included in that. "I think they already have. Loosen your corset, have a drink." it's funny but Peeta doesn't laugh. It shuts up Effie but Peeta has to bite his tongue so he wouldn't pick up where she left off. He feels the all familiar guilt raising in him as he thinks all these bitter thoughts and he takes a deep breath. Maybe what she did wasn't so wrong.
She was angry, as she's already said a million times, and that made the Gamemakers pay attention to him. Did they think he would have the same temper as her, think he would toss a weight up to them and destroy the pig? Or toss it up and hit one of them? It could affect her score and Peeta gives up on trying to push the hope down that it does affect her score. It's going to manage to make its way up, anyway, so he might as well not try to push it down. He really believes she needs to be knocked down a few notches, despite the guilt. He watches the TV as they begin saying the scores. He feels himself stiffen as the blonde Career comes on. And he finally learns his name. Cato Ludwig, District 2, scoring a ten. Not surprising, all the Careers scored high. He pays attention to their names, might as well, since he'll be in an alliance with them. But Cato gets stuck at the front of his head and he remembers what he felt when Cato said his name in the training room. He frowns to himself, he never wants to hear Cato say his name again. And if he did, Peeta would refuse to feel that way. He doesn't even want to start to think why he felt that way in the beginning.
His face comes up and he's in full-alert, watching the number eight come into view. He smiles as he receives praise, his pride swelling in himself a little. He's glad they're turning to him and telling him he did a good job, telling him he didn't mess up. But then Katniss' score comes on: an 11. He nearly blows up right there, as everyone's attention goes to the Girl on Fire. He has to be respectable, he has to be nice. After all, he's suppose to be in-love with her and he's suppose to be happy. He looks at her and for once, he can't put that mask up, he can't put on a fake smile. He lets the one emotion that won't get him in trouble show; surprise. She shot an arrow at them, how could they give her such a high number? He feels envy, anger, and bitterness swelling in him and he hates all those emotions. He's suppose to love Katniss, he shouldn't feel this way towards her. He takes a deep breath and says the only word he can, "Congratulations." she only looks at him and nods, still seeming shocked as she keeps receiving praises, keeps getting put up higher and higher on a pedestal. He needs to get out of this room before he explodes and yells at them all. Tells them she isn't so perfect, she isn't so amazing. She can hunt just fine but that was it. She was too closed off from her emotions to be likeable, she was too harsh to talk too. The only thing she had going for her was her skills with a bow. Peeta knows those thoughts are wrong but they're there and he gets up, all eyes turning to him. He doesn't say anything, just walks into his room and closes the door. He knows they'll catch on: he's jealous. He's angry. No, he's furious.
Why Katniss? Why is she the Girl on Fire? He was on fire too. Why isn't he the Boy on Fire? Why is he the Boy with the Bread? Such an obvious name for him, being a baker. He clenches his fists and breathes in deeply. Why does she get all the attention? Why does she get all the praise? All the protection? All the sureness? He can win this. He can! His mother didn't believe so. No, his mother thinks Katniss can. And did his father or brothers deny it? No. The rage is pumping through him full-force. Even his own family believes in the Girl on Fire more than the Boy with the Bread. He told himself this place wouldn't change him but he feels the anger, the bitterness, the hate. Things he barely felt at home. Even when his mother yelled and hit and his father turned a blind eye, he never felt this way before. He grabs the nearest object, which happens to be a vase, and chunks it across the room. It smashes into the wall, glass falling to the floor, water running down the wall, flowers the color of Cato's hair laying among the small wreckage. He still doesn't feel like he got it out, he wants to hit more things, he wants to throw more things. But before he can, there's a knock at the door and it's opening.
"Peeta, what was that?" Katniss. Of course it's Katniss. Katniss is fucking everywhere.
"Nothing." Peeta snaps, striding towards the bathroom.
Katniss sees the broken vase and frowns. "Peeta." she says softly but Peeta doesn't want to hear her talk.
"No! Just get out, Girl on Fire." he spits, his voice full of venom and turns on her, glaring at her. "Everyone believes in you so much, Katniss. While I'm just standing by, getting told you're going to win! I could win, I could! I'm just-" he stops and takes a deep, shaky breath. "I'm not weak." he whispers and disappears into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. He wasn't suppose to yell at her, be so harsh. Now she probably hates him and how can they pass the star-crossed lovers act off now? Does... does he even love her? He certainly hasn't been acting like it and he knows Haymitch would beat his ass for it. He knows Katniss was going to tell Haymitch what Peeta said and Haymitch would be so angry. He leans against the door, clenching his head, a headache growing. He just wanted to be himself. He just wanted to go back home, forget all this, and become himself. But as he looks across the room and sees his own reflection, the dark look in his eyes, he realizes something.
He's already losing himself and the Games hadn't even started.
...
There it is! Hope everyone enjoyed Peeta's inner conflict, poor boy. I have to give my baker boy a hard time though, don't I? So, please review! I love hearing what everyone thought. Even if it's one word, I swell with joy! It makes my day, seriously. Here's the Question of the Chapter!
If you were in Peeta's shoes, how would you feel about Katniss getting all the attention?
Review with your answer or just review to tell me your thoughts. Love you guys, see you next week! Much love, LW.