Chapter Fourteen:

On the Turning Away

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting its shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
Mesmerized as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away

- Pink Floyd, On the Turning Away

The shuttle was on autopilot. Heero Yuy kept one hand hovering near the controls, just in case. The other hand was holding onto Relena, who was sitting on his lap, doing her very best to distract him. And succeeding just fine.

"You enjoy making my job difficult, don't you?" he asked with a low chuckle.

"Last I checked," she murmured, kissing his neck softly, "you didn't have a job."

"That's right," he teased. "You fired me. So what am I supposed to do now?"

"You're still a Preventer, Heero Yuy. I assume that's what you'll keep doing." She paused, frowning slightly. "Unless… you had something else in mind?"

"Well…" Heero began slowly. "I'm currently on leave. And apparently, I have several weeks of accrued time off that's going to expire at the end of the fiscal year. Une sent me this long email about it. Anyway, between all the unused personal, vacation and sick time, I've got about five weeks of downtime. Looks like I won't get another assignment until at least July."

"Hmm." Relena's blue eyes glittered. "Vacation, huh?"

"Yeah." The corners of his mouth curved upward in a slight smile. "You wanna… go somewhere?"

"I could probably take off a week or two." She rested her head against his chest.

"Not a month?"

"I don't know. That's a lot of time, and I think it would really push ESUN's patience," Relena spoke softly. "Let's get through the rest of this week's conference, and reevaluate afterward."

Heero didn't like how frightened Relena seemed over the ESUN situation; he could feel her start to tremble. He knew she was much stronger than that— something wasn't right.

He looked into her eyes sternly. "They don't own you, you know. You're not a puppet. This isn't Romefeller anymore."

She nodded. "No, it isn't. And you're right— I'm not a puppet. Not at all." She stared straight ahead, resolutely, repeating quietly, "I'm not their puppet."

She was trying to convince herself, he realized. It reminded him of how he felt after the brutal training he'd endured to become a child soldier. Standing in front of the mirror, intoning over and over, "I'm not a robot. I'm not a weapon. I'm not a machine." It had been no use then— he'd still felt controlled.

He grasped Relena tightly to him.

"We'll get through this," he breathed. "You don't have to worry."

She shook her head, blond hair swishing. "I'm not worried."

Yeah, right, he thought. Having Relena afraid of her own job, a job she was not only good at, but was born to do… This couldn't be. Heero had to think of some way to make her feel secure again, even if he was no longer technically head of her security.

He was contemplating possible solutions with Relena nestled against him. Silence settled over them as each became lost in their own thoughts. Heero had vowed to always protect her— he could do that, whether he was on her payroll or not. He could pilot a mobile suit, he could take a bullet for her… but there were some enemies he didn't know how to protect her from. Enemies he could not see.

Just then, Heero's radar started to blip rapidly, as if the system was spiraling out of control.

What? He thought frantically. This can't be…

Radar flashed a red alert at him. Something was approaching their vicinity— and fast. Impossibly fast.

Heero checked the shuttle's controls. Now, everything looked normal. He was confused— there was only a tiny blip on the radar, still fairly far away, but that could have been anything; another shuttle, perhaps, or an asteroid. Even the Aventinus or Zechs's ship— after all, the shuttle was approaching both.

"This doesn't make any sense," he murmured into Relena's hair.

"What?" She jerked her head off his chest to look up at him. "What is it?"

He shook his head, not knowing how to answer her. He knew he'd detected… something. But the radar he'd seen just now was far more advanced than the basic system installed in this shuttle. He checked it again, just in case. Normal.

"This…" he started to say. "This… This is…"

Zero.

Heero's eyes flashed.

Relena bolted upright.

"Heero?"

Her voice sounded far away to him.

"Heeerooo!"

There was a brilliant flash of white light, burning with the intensity of the sun, sparkling like billions of crystals imbedded in the finest grains of sand. It streaked right past their shuttle, disappearing as rapidly as it appeared.

Vanished.

Whatever it was had shot well past the shuttle's flight path, and yet only now could Heero see it clearly in his mind's eye.

Bright. White. Shining.

The only thing in space that could move with such speed and precision.

It's… a Gundam.

Fear gripped Heero. It was a Gundam. It didn't matter how it got there, or who was piloting it. What mattered was that it had been aiming for them… and had missed. Perhaps more importantly, Heero had maneuvered the shuttle out of the Gundam's destructive course just in time. Not a feat a civilian pilot could have accomplished. The quickly calculated decision was not without consequence, however.

Relena had screamed because the maneuver had sent her flying.

Heero recovered from his daze, regaining his normal vision. He screamed out for her.

"Relena!"

She was hurt. He cursed himself and rushed over to her. She was awake but groaning, curled into fetal position, clutching her head.

"Heero…" she whispered, eyes squeezed shut in agony, wincing as he looked her over.

"Where did you hit?" he gasped, finding it difficult to breathe, let alone speak. Every second that ticked by was more crucial than the last.

The Gundam would be back; he could see it. Missing its target had not been part of the plan.

Relena and Heero were in the middle of space, in between two colonies, on their way to hook up with the Preventer's ship and Zechs's, neither of which had weapons or other defense mechanisms in place. They were in a time of disarmament. An era of peace.

No weapons. No chance of escape. No hope.

Heero had been in plenty of life-threatening scenarios in his young life. He'd cheated death countless times.

But that day, he realized his luck had finally run out. For the first time, he felt completely vulnerable. Exposed. There was no way he could save her. He could not protect her from the enemy he could not see.

But, then, he had seen it. Zero had showed him. But how?

Heero wanted more time to ponder this, but Relena needed him. He cradled her carefully in his arms.

"Talk to me."

She moaned again.

"Relena."

She flinched. "My… shoulder," she finally answered his previous question. She lifted her right arm clumsily and gestured to her left. Heero said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity that might have been watching over them; she had not hit her head. If she had, she would not be with him still. The impact would have obliterated her skull.

"It's dislocated." He could tell without touching her. "Your whole arm is broken." Several bones; her elbow was crushed. "We'll fix that later," he promised. "For now you have to get up."

Relena just moaned again. He took that as her consent, picked her up gently and brought her back to her seat. He set her down carefully and secured her with the seatbelt.

"I'm getting us out of here," he said firmly. "Try to stay still."

She nodded weakly. Guilt crushed him as he looked at her. He hated himself for causing her pain, but he'd had no choice. He had to obey his instincts.

And his instincts told him to get the hell out of there.

"Wind." He called up Zechs's ship. "Do you copy? Pilot Zero-One here. Over."

Zechs answered immediately. "Copy. This is Wind. What is it, Yuy? Over." So cavalier.

"Did you see that?" Heero hissed. "Over."

"See what?"

Ok, so he hadn't seen it. Lucky him.

"Something blazed past us— fast. It was gunning for us."

Nothing for a beat. Then, "Are you sure? Over."

"Yeah. I had to get out of its way. Relena's… hurt."

"What?!" Zechs's voice screeched over the transmission feed. "Yuy!"

"I know." Heero lowered his head, wanting to smash it into something. "Zechs, I know. Just… help us."

"How? Where are you?"

Heero relayed their coordinates. "Right now we're closer to L2 than the Aventinus."

"We're close enough now. Dock and we'll meet you."

"Roger." Heero quickly rerouted the shuttle. It was the most logical plan. Except…

"What about the civilians?" he asked Zechs.

"What about them?"

"This… thing…" He couldn't bring himself to say "Gundam" out loud. Not yet. "If it's tailing us, we'll lead it straight to the colony."

"We'll deal with that when we get there. Right now, we don't have a whole lot of other options. Over."

"The asteroid," Heero remembered suddenly.

"Which one?"

"HYRP040795."

A beat passed. Then Zechs exclaimed, "Really, Yuy? Subtle."

"It's not mine— Duo named it. He's the one who commandeered the place."

"For what?"

"His workshop."

"I see. We'll be there as soon as we can. Sit tight until then. And take care of Relena. Over."

"I will. Over and out."

"Out."

Zechs ended the transmission.

"I will," Heero vowed again.

"I will survive."

The asteroid was a much better idea, he decided as he pushed the shuttle to its limits. The thrusters would be completely useless by the time he reached the base, but he didn't care; he would abandon the thing and donate it to Duo's scrap heap.

He alerted Duo of his impending arrival with a phone call.

"Yo, He-Man! What's shaking?"

"Where are you?" Heero demanded without preamble.

"At work!" Duo answered with his usual cheerfulness. "Where are you?"

"Coming to you. I need to borrow some of your toys."

It was clear that Duo knew exactly what Heero was talking about as the former Deathscythe pilot ceased his playful candor.

"Yeesh, Heero, Relena's not with you, is she? She'll kill me, pacifism be damned." Duo winced.

"Doesn't matter. We need it."

"We? So she is with you, huh? Well, well. Guess you two patched things up after all. Kudos, my man."

"Now's not the time for this. Are you at the base or not?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Come on down."

"Good."

Heero hung up and contacted the Aventinus next.

"Pilot Zero-One. Aventinus, do you copy? Over."

The ship picked up his transmission. "Heero? Sally. We copy. Over."

"Tell Une change of plans. I have to redirect our flight temporarily. Over."

"Is everything all right?" Sally sounded worried over the line.

"No. Something was pursuing our shuttle. Possibly armed." He decided to be more direct with the Preventer. "Looks like a mobile suit."

"A mobile suit? You really think so?"

"Affirmative."

Heero wondered if the Preventers had any means for defending themselves, but from what he had seen the last time he was onboard their ship, he doubted it. But, then, they did have the Zero System…

"Put Une on," he demanded.

"Une is… otherwise engaged," Sally answered. "We're not supposed to interrupt her… research."

Heero knew exactly what she meant. For someone longing to relive the past, Zero could be a powerful drug. "Tell her it's urgent."

"She won't hear anyone, Heero. But I'll get her as soon as I can. What can we do in the meantime?"

"Come to this rendezvous point. Ready? Over."

"Ready."

Heero rattled off the coordinates. Sally did not seem to decode the meaning of the letters and numbers as quickly as Zechs did. If she did, she didn't say anything.

"On our way. Over and out."

That task done, Heero wondered about Quatre and Trowa back at the ESUN conference. What, if anything, they had found out about the PPP vaccine. And what could be going on in the underbelly of ESUN? Was someone after Relena? Were they the ones who sent the Gundam?

So many questions. Such little time to find the answers.

For now, Heero focused on getting Relena someplace safe, if there even was such a place at this point. He didn't know what his chances would be against that thing once he reached Duo's base; he only knew in that moment, in that shuttle, his chances were nil. That was why the only logical option was to flee— to put as much distance between them and it as he could, given the limitations of his primitive craft.

Heero had never been so terrified in his life. And he realized, as the shuttle neared the asteroid, that perhaps what he was most afraid of was himself. How he had managed to see the Gundam; how he felt like he was still connected to the Zero System somehow, despite the fact that he was piloting a craft that obviously had no such system installed. How it felt that, somehow, inexplicably, he and Zero were linked.

He knew it was true. Somehow, somewhere along the way, his mind had melded with Zero.

They were one.

If he closed his eyes for a split second, if he allowed himself to fully focus, he could see it all. Every battle tactic he had ever calculated and executed. Every code, every scrap of data he had ever memorized. Memories – suppressed, buried, forgotten – all rushed to the forefront of his mind. Reveries of the past; shadows of the future. All of his emotions, experiences, fears and hopes, frozen in time, making themselves plain, freeing themselves from the inner sanctum where he'd long concealed them as a single teardrop escaped his eye.

Zero wound around Heero's mind in a complex matrix of numbers, letters, symbols, wires. Imprisoning him, and at once setting him free.

He had no idea how to harness this new energy. This… power. All he could do in the moment was let it propel him forward.

Heero docked the shuttle and powered it down. He checked on Relena before doing anything else; she was looking about, bewildered. She hadn't spoken up as they made their descent onto the asteroid, but now she cast fearful eyes up at Heero.

"What is going on?" she whispered, her eyes searching his. The two locked gazes and held them for a full minute. Those light eyes of hers that reflected the brilliant blue of the earth, the way it looked from space, meeting the very depths of space in the caverns that were his eyes.

"I have a plan," he answered her simply.

He located two emergency space suits and helped her get into one, being extra vigilant with her broken arm. She gasped in pain despite his best efforts. He had broken hundreds, if not thousands of bones in his body over the years and knew that even with his elite training, it still hurt like hell. He not only empathized with her pain; he was acutely aware of it. He would have absorbed it for her, if he could have.

Heero zipped up his own space suit and retrieved a pair of helmets. He was about to place one on Relena's head when he stopped.

There was something about the way she was looking at him— vulnerable, fragile, dependent. How could she not look that way, given their situation? And yet there was something else there, too, and he saw it plain as day. Her strength and resolve, things he had always admired about her, sending him the message that she was pushing her fear aside, for him. It was her utter trust, her undying faith in him. Heero saw it – felt it – as Relena used her good arm to reach for his hand.

He clutched hers eagerly, despite the awkward, bulky gloves of their space suits.

She nodded to him to let him know she was ready. He leaned toward her, touching noses, keeping his eyes wide open, and brushed a light kiss against her lips before releasing her hand and placing the helmet on her head in a single, fluid motion.

"There." He secured his own helmet, then reached for her again. "Let's go."

They had to traipse across the asteroid in open space for a few minutes before reaching the base. Heero guided Relena carefully, always ultra-cautious in zero gravity. They came to a concrete block that appeared to be no more than a small shack with a steel door and keypad. Heero punched in the passcode and the door slid open. Once inside, they stepped into an elevator. Heero punched in yet another code to be taken to the basement level. Once they had made their descent, Heero led Relena inside a large room that was sparsely decorated with a beat-up couch and a couple of armchairs in a similarly disheveled state. There was also a metal desk that was blanketed in paperwork, blueprints, a laptop and miscellaneous tools. A giant flatscreen monitor hung on the concrete wall overlooking the desk.

Heero yanked off his helmet, shaking out his hair. "Duo?" He slipped Relena's helmet off as they waited.

"What is this place?" she murmured, her eyes scanning the room.

Heero didn't answer her, knowing she would soon find out. By now she would have laced it all together in her mind, anyway. Sure enough, seconds later, her brow furrowed. She whirled on Heero.

"Heero," she intoned calmly, repeating evenly, "What is this place?"

"Heero, my man!" Duo bellowed as he came striding in from an adjacent room. He stopped short when he saw Relena, breaking into a wide grin. "Well, well, my fair lady. Welcome to the man cave. I'd offer you some tea, but I'm afraid we have some business to attend to. But please, by all means, make yourself comfortable." He gestured toward the couch.

Heero, still holding onto Relena, carried her over and deposited her onto the furniture. She glared at him as he set her down.

"Explain this to me," she ordered, taking on her "Queen of the World" tone that strongly suggested she was not one to be trifled with.

"It's on Duo," Heero shrugged, betraying his friend. "Ask him. This is his base."

Duo shot him a mockingly pained expression. "Ouch, was that your knife? What ever happened to bros before h—"

"I dare you to finish that," Relena warned.

"All right, all right." Duo scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish. "You caught me. So now what? Do I get a slap on the wrist, or in this a punishable offense?"

Relena looked from Heero to Duo, exasperated. She chose Heero first. "You knew about this? And you didn't tell me?"

Heero knelt down beside her. "This is something that started years ago. At first, Duo was just following orders."

"From who? I never authorized this." Relena whipped her head back toward Duo. "As I'm sure you recall, I personally toured every former mobile suit factory and saw that they were shut down. And if they failed to comply with ESUN's disarmament policy, there were consequences." She looked back at Heero incredulously. "So what is all of this?"

"Preventer asked Duo to create a walking Wing Zero from spare parts." The story slowly made its way out. "It didn't fly or have any weapons. For a while, that's all there was."

"Came in handy, too, when we had to scare off terrorists," Duo piped up. "It looked and moved just like the real thing. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself." He flashed Relena an impish grin.

She did not look amused. "Then what?" she clipped.

"Well, ah, one thing led to another…"

"Duo." Her tone admonished him.

He winced, turning his face away. "I'm sorry, Relena! It's just… I don't know, I had all this scrap metal, really good stuff left over from old mobile suits, and all these tools and time on my hands, and the scrap shop was doing well, and the Preventer assignments paid pretty well, too, and…"

"And?" Relena asked coolly, quirking a single groomed brow.

"And… I was bored!" Duo wailed. "I'm all alone out here while everyone else is running around doing cool stuff, Trowa with the circus, Quatre with his business, Wufei and the Preventers, you and Heero…"

Relena frowned, biting her lower lip. "What about Hilde?"

Duo hung his head. "Hilde left… a while ago. She said I needed to grow up."

Heero didn't know that. The last he'd spoken to Duo, the former "Pilot 02" had indicated that he and Hilde were very much together; bragged of his bedroom prowess, even. It had all been a front.

"You never stayed with him?" Relena turned back to Heero.

"I did, for a while, before I came back to earth," he answered. "That was when I saw all this. So I knew about it, yeah. Didn't think it was a big deal, though."

Relena's expression hardened once more. "You didn't think it was something I might need to know about it? This puts me in a very awkward position."

"There was nothing to tell you," Heero said in a measured tone. "He's not developing weapons."

"They're just upgrades!" Duo exclaimed. "And why would I fight anyone, anyway? Who would I fight?"

"That's not the point, and you know it," Relena answered sadly. "The problem is with their very existence. An abandonment of arms is supposed to be just that— a complete turning away. You were all more than willing to do that, years ago." Her eyes held a far away expression even as she gazed steadily at Duo, those sky blue orbs brimming with tears. Her voice softened. "As nations laid down their arms, lifted their borders – as you willingly destroyed your Gundams – it was more than just some symbolic gesture. It was a step toward a new era. Toward permanent peace."

She titled her face toward Heero's. "But if we allow these weapons to exist – if we go back to the way things were – there can be no lasting peace. As long as there are weapons, people will rise up and fight again."

"People will always fight." Heero tipped Relena's chin up with his index finger. "You know that. We've talked about this. The will to fight exists, weapons or no. It's human nature. We've been working to protect that peace all this time so that no one – none of us – ever has to fight again. But even so," he continued, his dark eyes burning like two hot coals, "we fought to attain this peace in the first place. We continue to fight, in various ways. I fight every day. I've never really stopped."

"Heero." Relena's breath caught in her throat. "I don't want you to go out there. You shouldn't have to do this. You don't have to do this."

She had sensed where this was headed; what they were doing there. Once again, as in the not too distant past, it had come to that.

"I have to," he said gently. "I have to protect you."

His fingers curled around her neck, intertwining in her silken tresses.

"I have you to fight for."

Relena's tears spilled onto her cheeks. "Don't fight for me. Stay with me."

Heero pulled his hand back, his fingers threading through her hair as he let go. He gave her a warm, sincere smile before his face turned back to stone. He rose to his feet.

Relena's good hand reached for him, grasping for his hand as he walked toward Duo.

"Please. Don't go."

He turned around to look at her once more over his shoulder, his eyes only briefly belaying his inner torment.

"Relena…"

She gazed at him hopefully, her lips once again forming his name, in such a hushed, reverent tone that it sounded, to him, like a vow.

"Heero."

She had to understand him, he thought. She had to know what he had to protect. What he stood to lose.

"I'll come back to you."

He turned away from her, for what he hoped would be the very last time.