A/N: I'm a bad person. So, it's been a few days… sorry. I haven't been on the computer much in the past few days (surprisingly) and I've just been neglecting my writing. Updates are gonna be a little slower now, because I've finally caught up with my writing and I am no longer ahead. But I'm hoping to get at least one-two updates a week at the least! It's just with school and homework and all that good stuff (note sarcasm) I don't always have a bunch of time on the computer, and lately I get on at night, write a little, but I'm so exhausted I get off in like thirty minutes and half that time is spent dozing off. -_- Today's the first day I've been on the computer very long (I'm neglecting my homework now).
Anyway, this is getting to be way too long, and I know you don't want to read my excuses, so I'll wrap it up by saying sorry it's so short, and well… good luck. xD
P.S. LaurenEP18- So I never noticed, but I'm actually reading your story Puzzle Pieces, and OMG! So I was going through the stories that I'm reading the other day on my Fanfiction app and I saw your name and was like, "I know that name from somewhere…." And sure enough, looked through my emails and saw your name! I almost died of squealing! I never noticed that you were writing one of my favorite stories on here! I applaud you, and I'm super duper happy you enjoy my story. Okay, fangirling over. I was just excited.
"So, what happened last night?" The awkward silence that had filled the room for the past half hour since their make out session had made Kurt very uncomfortable, he finally broke it. He couldn't stop thinking about last night after they had done karaoke together. Blaine had just left, but Kurt had no idea why.
Blaine chuckled, "Well you tried to jump my bones for one thing. But before that you-"
"No!" Kurt said, surprised, "Wait, what? I tried to- Oh never mind, that's not what I meant. I meant after we sang, Blaine. You gave me this weird look and then you just disappeared. Why?"
Blaine sat up in the bed and shifted uncomfortably, giving Kurt a small shrug. The room was filled with silence once more, and Kurt watched as Blaine stared off into space, deep in thought, "I felt weird," he admitted suddenly.
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "You felt weird…?" he sent Blaine an odd look, "What the hell does that mean? I don't understand, you have to explain to me what you mean. I'm getting mixed signals from you! One minute you want to have sex with me, the next minute you want to get to know me, and the next minute you want to be as far away from me as possible!" Kurt exclaimed.
Blaine looked at Kurt guiltily, "Kurt, I-" he ran a hand through his curls and down his face, "You confuse me. You… You want to get to know me, you care and I-I'm not used to that. I don't want to hurt you, but I want you so bad," he shook his head.
Kurt stared at Blaine in disbelief. Did Blaine just admit he has feelings for me? He let out a shaky sigh, "Wait, how would that hurt me?"
"Kurt, I'm not good at relationships. I ruin people. I break hearts. You deserve so much better than me," Blaine jumped off the bed and to his feet, "I'm gonna go get a drink or something."
"Blaine-" Kurt began, but Blaine had already run out the door. Kurt heaved himself out of the bed with a sigh. He decided that he should probably get dressed, and cringed at the thought of having to rewear his outfit from yesterday. Instead of going to the bathroom he stripped down to his boxers in the room. Blaine had seemed uncomfortable, which most likely meant he'd be a while. Kurt had just buttoned his jeans when Blaine walked in.
"Hey- Holy shit!" Blaine's eyes went wide and he froze in the doorway, "Hello sexy," Blaine's eye raked over Kurt's bare torso, taking in the smooth, pale, flawless skin, and the outline of abs. His tongue ran over his lips absent mindedly, he shook his head, "Not that I totally regret it or anything, but sorry for barging in."
Kurt blushed, "It's okay. I guess I should have gone to the bathroom, but I thought I'd have enough time to change really quick," he scratched his head, "Karma's a bitch."
Blaine gave Kurt a questioning look, "What?"
"Well, I walked in on you, and now you've walked in on me so…"
"Oh right! I'll let you get changed," Blaine wagged his eyebrows and stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, clearly in no hurry to leave. Upon receiving an annoyed look from Kurt, he frowned and shuffled from the room, making Kurt shake his head.
With a chuckle he slipped on his shirt before walking out the door and looking at Blaine. Their eyes met briefly before Kurt was pinned up against the hallway wall. He gasped, and Blaine took the chance to slip his tongue into Kurt's mouth, making Kurt moan rather loudly.
"Shit, Blaine," Kurt said as Blaine's hand slipped under Kurt's shirt and caressed his side, a shiver running up his spine.
"We have got to stop doing this," Blaine panted as he pulled away from Kurt.
"Stop doing what?" Kurt asked breathlessly as Blaine flipped himself to Kurt's side and leaned against the wall.
"This," Blaine motioned between them, "The whole random make outs, and then acting like they didn't happen," he explained, "You don't want this, Kurt. I know you don't. You deserve so much better than what I can supply."
"Blaine-"
"I should probably take you home, Kurt," Blaine interjected before Kurt could object. He walked back into the bedroom and slipped on his shoes before grabbing the keys and rushing past Kurt in the hall and down the stairs.
Kurt groaned and pushed off of the wall before following after him.
When Blaine had taken Kurt home Finn had offered to drive Blaine back, and without so much as a goodbye, left the house. He knew that Kurt was confused with how Blaine was acting, but Blaine didn't know what to do.
Blaine Anderson doesn't fall in love. He doesn't just let people in.
And that's why this all had to stop. He had to stop getting closer to Kurt, stop falling deeper and deeper. He doesn't do relationships. He /can't/ do relationships.
He'd have to watch himself, and close himself off again. This proved to be much more difficult to do since Kurt was Blaine's ride to school, and Blaine had started working at the garage on Monday. Kurt had tried to talk to him at least three times a day, asking him how his day was, or just saying hello, but he wasn't ever rude of forceful. Until Saturday (Blaine had offered to lend a hand on weekends as well as the week days since he had nothing better to do) night at the garage.
It was eight o'clock and Burt had just told Blaine that he was done for the day as Blaine wiped his hands off on a worn down rag. He was wiping of the black grim from changing a car's oil when Kurt strolled up to him. Blaine could practically see the anger and irritation seeping from Kurt's pores, and Blaine was suddenly very afraid, especially since Burt had just left the shop, expecting Blaine and Kurt to close up as always.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You've been ignoring me all week and I'm fucking sick of it, Anderson. It's time to talk," Kurt hissed in a rage.
"Why the hell should I talk to you?" Blaine said, carelessly throwing the rag somewhere on the ground and turning his back to Kurt to clean up the tools.
"Because you haven't since /Sunday/ Blaine. Sunday!"
"I'm aware," Blaine sighed, "Still not seeing a point."
"Still not-" Kurt let out a humorless laugh, "What is /wrong/ with you! I thought we were getting somewhere, Blaine! I thought we were becoming /something/."
"Well you thought wrong. I told you Kurt; I don't do relationships, so stop acting like some clingy love sick puppy and drop it!" Blaine growled, clenching his jaw.
Kurt's anger drained instantly and was replaced with pain. He swallowed the lump that was rapidly growing in his throat, and he could feel his throat tightening, "You can find your own way home," Kurt told Blaine, his voice cracking midsentence. He grabbed his keys from the front desk and stormed out of the door and to his Navigator before pulling out of the parking lot and driving home, trying desperately to hold back the sobs that were forming inside.
Blaine felt awful, and not just from having walked all the way from the garage to his house (because he did) but because he had just hurt the one boy he loved. No. Not loved. You don't love. You can't, because every time you do, it all falls to shit.
He shook his head and collapsed onto his bed. Despite the chill in the autumn air outside, Blaine was pouring sweat, and his black curls were plastered to his neck, forehead, and scalp. He took slow, deep breaths to try to slow his heartbeat.
He felt disgusted. No, not because of his sweat slicked body, but instead for how he treated Kurt. He treated Kurt so badly. Despite the feeling of wanting to stay out of relationships, and wanting to push Kurt away, he felt bad, upset, and sick. He had an overwhelming urge to cry, but he wouldn't, because Blaine never cried; At least not anymore.
Blaine firmly believed that he didn't cry because he had lost all his tears at such a young age. The time that involved so many sleepless nights; the time of kids bullying Blaine, and of coming home to an empty house, those days had been hell, not that it was much better now, but back then, Blaine would curl in a ball under some covers and sob into his pillow throughout the night.
Blaine supposed he was just out of tears now. Sure, he'd had the urge to cry, but he never did. He just couldn't get the salty liquid to come out. Although he spent many nights lying in bed feeling so hopeless and alone, the tears just wouldn't fall, and this made Blaine feel even more broken then before. After being lost in thought for such a long amount of time, the exhaustion took over his body and he fell asleep lying face first on his bed, still wearing his sweat soaked clothes.
Blaine had been sorting the pros and cons of the subject all week, along with a great amount of online searching. He knew he had to do it, but he just didn't want to. He had vowed to himself a few weeks ago that he would though, and he intended to follow through. Blaine had heard all of these different ways of how to approach the subject, and he'd been thinking about it all week now. "Coming out" wasn't something Blaine was too keen about doing, especially due to his father's obvious dislike for gays, but Blaine knew. Yes, he may only be thirteen (and his dad was sure to bring this up, Blaine knew), but he just knew.
Blaine came out of his thoughts when his father suddenly cleared his throat, obvious annoyed with the amount of time Blaine was taking. His mother and father sat at the dining room table, and Blaine stood in front of their chairs, a nervous sweat beading on his forehead. He took a shaky breath and looked at his parents.
"I've been thinking about this a lot for the past couple of weeks, and I haven't said anything because… Well, because I keep hoping it'll end up not being true. But it won't, because it's real and it's who I am," the look on his parents faces went from questioning to confusion, "Mom, Dad, I know that I'm only thirteen, but I've known for so long that I was different from the other boys in my classes. When they're talking about girls and sports I find my mind wondering, and I know why now. I think I've known for a while actually, I just haven't wanted to admit it. But, I'm-"
"Do not say it," Blaine's father shook his head, "I do not want to hear what you have to say anymore. You will go to your room now and forget all of this nonsense immediately."
Blaine clenched his jaw, he had seen this coming, "Dad I-"
"BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON YOU ARE NOT A FAG. I refuse to listen to you say such a thing. Get out of this stupid state-of-mind and get over this… this shit!" His father yelled at him, now on his feet facing Blaine.
Blaine shook his head; he refused to not say what he had been meaning to say for so long. He needed desperately to admit it. He frowned, and unclenched his jaw before yelling, "DAD I'M GAY! It's not some stupid ass state-of-mind, it's who I am!" Blaine's mother watched Blaine and his father, her eyes wide with fear and surprise.
Blaine's father's nose flared, and his hand whipped at lightning fast speed across Blaine's cheek, "You will get your things and leave. NOW! I refuse to have a fag living under my roof."
Blaine fell to the floor and shook his head, "Daddy please! Please don't make me leave," tears were pouring from Blaine's eyes as he held his red cheek.
"Do not call me your father. You are no longer a part of this family. You disgust me," Blaine's father growled. Blaine's mother finally snapped from her daze and jumped from her feet, falling to her knees beside the hysterical boy and gathering her up into her arms.
"Tim, please! Stop this! This is our son!"
"He is not my son!" Tim spat out.
"Please Tim, stop this. This is our baby. We need to love him no matter what! I refuse to let you speak to Blaine in such a cruel way. We are supposed to care for him no matter what he is, and I intend to do so, and if you do not, then you can get your things and leave," She told her husband and angrily as she hugged the small boy in her arms closer to her chest.
"Fine, I will," and without another word his father stormed from the room and up the stairs, only moments later did they hear him descend the stairs and slam the door.
Blaine and his mom remained on the dining room floor. Catherine Anderson cradled her son in her arms, running her fingers through the boy's unruly brown curls and whispering comforting words in his ear, "Don't worry baby, mommy is here. I love you Blainey. Shh… it's okay baby boy," this went on for about an hour before Blaine finally tired himself out and fell asleep in his mother's arms.
Kurt had immediately stormed upstairs upon arriving at his house. How could Blaine have said that? I'm not clingy? Or am I? Of course he wasn't, that was ridiculous! Yes, he wanted to get closer to Blaine, but he wasn't clingy.
Kurt sat down on his bed, tugging off his shoes and slipping before getting up and changing into his pajamas. Kurt grumbled under his breath as he went through his moisturizing routine. When he was finally done, he plopped down on the bed; he was exhausted.
He looked up at the clock, and bit his lip. He wondered if Blaine had gotten home alright. A feeling of guilt washed over him; he had just left Blaine there, all alone to fend for himself. For all Kurt knew Blaine had been mugged in an alleyway walking home, and was lying dead in some dumpster. He shivered and picked up his phone. No new text messages. Maybe he should text Blaine, just to make sure he could home alright?
Kurt frowned and shook his head. No, he thought. Blaine was a big boy; he was perfectly capable of getting home by himself. Kurt settled in under his covers and switch off his lamp. He wrapped the blankets around him tightly and attempted to ignore the nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach. After an hour and a half of lying wide-eyed in bed, Kurt fell into a restless sleep, dreaming of the endless amount of things that could have happened to Blaine as he walked home.