FACADE STAGEPLAY Wed Feb 20 21 00 55 2013
TRIP Where are the new wine glasses?
GRACE What for?
TRIP That should be obvious!
GRACE Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!
TRIP Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!
GRACE What - Trip, don't give me that look!
GRACE You're going to drive me crazy!
GONZALO your both...assholes...
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP Gonzalo!
TRIP Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man?
GONZALO good you?
TRIP Well, I can see we're going to get along well tonight!
TRIP Come on in!
TRIP Uh, let me go get Grace...
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
TRIP (unintelligable arguing)
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
(GONZALO knocks on the front door.)
(GONZALO closes the front door.)
TRIP (unintelligable arguing)
TRIP (unintelligable arguing)
GONZALO how come trip always gets thedoor
GRACE Gonzalo,
GRACE Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!
TRIP Hey, that's what I said!
GRACE By the way, you look wonderful!
GONZALO so do you
GRACE Uh...
GRACE So, come in, make yourself at home...
GONZALO how are you guys?
TRIP Oh, - (interrupted)
TRIP What? No, I'm good, we're good, everything's good...
TRIP (clears throat) - (interrupted)
GONZALO you sure?
GRACE Gonzalo, come over here and sit on the couch with me.
TRIP No, hold on. Now, - (interrupted)
GRACE Trip, darling, your obsession with that photo of yours is making our friend uncomfortable.
TRIP (little sigh)
GONZALO photo?
TRIP Oh... you know our wedding picture is the first thing everyone notices when they enter the room.
GRACE Well, geez, how could they miss it?
TRIP Well, yeah...
GRACE You know I don't think it really goes with this room anymore.
TRIP Ha ha, well, you're in a contrary mood tonight, Grace.
TRIP (clears throat)
GRACE Yeah, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.
GONZALO it's huge...like my face.
TRIP Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate... - (interrupted)
GRACE Oh, um, well... I want to ask you...
GRACE (little sigh) You know, when I look at this wedding picture, hanging here in this room...
TRIP Yeah everyone notices it when they come in.
GRACE it obviously just does not go anymore... I mean, with my new decorating and all.
TRIP Oh, Grace... (little impatient sigh)
GONZALO get a new frame for it.
GRACE Ah, yes, I've been waiting for someone to say that!
TRIP What are you talking about?
GRACE Trip, he is just being honest about my decorating, which I appreciate.
TRIP No, but I'm just trying to be honest -
GRACE Trip, don't worry about it. Decorating is just not your thing, that's all.
TRIP (frustrated sigh)
TRIP Huh, y - you two are really getting along well tonight...
GRACE (big sigh)
GONZALO juice?
TRIP Oh, yeah, uh, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec!
TRIP And please, please, we need to break in my new expensive set of cocktail making accessories.
GRACE Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.
TRIP Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...
GRACE Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend -
TRIP We're NOT disagreeing.
TRIP We're - we're - we're not disagreeing.
TRIP (frustrated sigh) Sheejus.
TRIP So... drinks...
GRACE Trip would try to serve you one of his high class drinks before even saying hello if he could.
(GONZALO picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "No")
(GONZALO shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP Why don't I make us one of my new drink inventions,
(The advice ball reads, "Could Be")
TRIP I call it Grace's Inner Soul.
(GONZALO shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP It's a mixture of chardonnay, bitters and lots of ice.
(The advice ball reads, "Maybe Later")
(GONZALO shakes the advice ball.)
GRACE It's a secret - Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol.
(The advice ball reads, "Sure Thing")
TRIP What?! So, uhh,
(GONZALO shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP Gonzalo, how - how does that sound?
(The advice ball reads, "Never")
GONZALO juice please
TRIP You - you don't want my invention?
GRACE Gonzalo, Trip's getting a little carried away... maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?
(GONZALO puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP (exhale very tense)
GONZALO yes juice please
TRIP Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us!
TRIP Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!
GRACE (frustrated sigh)
TRIP Grace, everybody loves my drinks, you know that, don't you? Everybody!
GRACE Well, of course Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender.
TRIP What?
GRACE In college, you were a bartender.
TRIP How do you know about that?
GRACE Oh I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but... one time my friends and I went slumming off-campus to some crappy bar in the sticks, and we saw you there.
TRIP Oh, that's great.
GONZALO I don't really drink that much...
TRIP Uhh, you're driving me insane!
TRIP Goddamn slumming it off campus... - (interrupted)
GONZALO I'm sorry
TRIP What? What - what are you saying to me? What?
TRIP You hide things from me! You're so distant! You...
GONZALO I'm sorry
TRIP You do, - (interrupted)
TRIP Okay, yeah yeah, I hear you, alright?
GRACE (impatient sigh) Gonzalo, can you believe this?
GRACE (frustrated sigh)
TRIP Uh huh, you...
TRIP I can guess what you're about to say...
TRIP How you keep talking about the goddamn wedding picture.
GONZALO no I can't
TRIP What? I - w - what are you saying to me, what?
GRACE Your goddamn drink inventions...
GRACE Don't you dare accuse me of being... sexually... un... when you treat me the way you do!
TRIP Oh, Jesus...!
TRIP Goddamn manipulation...
TRIP Grace, I - I just want to be together, and be happy, can you just see that?
GRACE Oh, sure, yeah!
TRIP Can't we just do that?
TRIP Alright, you know what, Gonzalo,
GONZALO trip, grace please stop fighting.
TRIP I'm going to ask you something.
GRACE Trip -
TRIP Grace, let me ask our guest a question.
TRIP Gonzalo, yes or no...
TRIP Isn't the goal in life, and in marriage, to improve your life, to have more than you did before?
GRACE What?
TRIP I mean, shouldn't you get married so you can have a better, richer life than before?
TRIP Yes or no.
GONZALO um...I guess...
TRIP What...?!
TRIP Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...
TRIP Grace, you won't let me be who I want to be! Who - who I am! This is who I am now! Goddammit!
GRACE Oh, my God...!
GRACE Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me!
GONZALO sorry if I told the truth.
GRACE I can't stand you!
GRACE Oh, God!
GRACE uhh!
(GONZALO comforts grace.)
GRACE No, don't, please...
GONZALO it's gonna be ok bro
TRIP Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there?
GRACE I wasn't talking about you!
(GONZALO comforts grace.)
(GONZALO comforts grace.)
GRACE Gonzalo, - (interrupted)
GRACE Oh, Gonzalo, thanks, but, what we need right now is to just get all this out in the open...
TRIP Grace, we don't - we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can just -
GRACE Gonzalo, I can't stand the pretending anymore... I can't take it!
TRIP No, Grace, we can... I mean, come on, don't make it out to be so bad...
GONZALO WHAT'S HAPPENING!?
GRACE Uhh...
TRIP Gonzalo, explain this to me!
GRACE Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.
TRIP It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
GRACE Trip...
TRIP Like I always have to convince you?
GONZALO I'm in the shelves...:D
GRACE Gonzalo, you know, we... uhh...
GRACE No I - I want to talk about Trip.
TRIP Heh... you know, the worst is when I come home from a business trip... - (interrupted)
GONZALO bro...get out of my face trip.
TRIP Alright, Gonzalo, that's it, you've got to leave.
GONZALO no ! my juice!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP We'll be fine - you just have to go.
(Trip closes the front door.)
GONZALO YOU SUCLK