Got my Mojo back on this one, faster updates, sorry about the long waits in between, i finally know where this thing is going. thanks for all the love and lurking, hope you enjoy it
"Why do you need to know so badly?" Tish asked with a sidelong glance.
Martha shrugged and eased herself into the couch. "You just said I should know, and, I want to know, Tish. I need to know what happened that made you want to keep him alive."
"What you mean is," Tish corrected in a voice so similar to their mother's that Martha 's eyes moved around the room to see if she ahd entered. "You want to know about the whammy, and what it did to me, and how it affected me." She finished with a sigh.
"Yeah, I guess I do, Tish."
Tish rose from the couch and headed toward the back. "I am going to take him to Mum, if you want the whole story, then it's going to be a minute, and I doubt you want to be interrupted by people looking for him."
By the time Tish came back ten minutes later, she had a tray of tea and snacks and a promise of absolute peace for the next two hours. "How do you know that?" Martha asked.
"They just started watching 'A Christmas Story.'" Tish smiled. "Jack is keeping 'John from coming upstairs with alcohol and Mum is in grandmother heaven."
"You make this all sound so ominous." Martha shook her head and took a sip from her tea.
"Isn't it, though?" Tish asked with an offish tone. "It's the part of the story that I could not tell you. The part I promised not to tell."
"Promised who? " Martha asked.
Tish didn't answer the question when she spoke. "Let me tell the story, Martha. It's fair to let you know some things, and I think it might help you."
Martha nodded, noticing for the first time how strong her sister was now, the weepy and emotional woman of two years ago was gone; but so was the flirty irreverent sister she had always had. In their place was a third Letitia, a woman made of iron, steel and diamond.
"You know I was on the TARDIS for a while."
Martha nodded, she knew.
"Did he ever tell you for how long?" Martha could only shake her head, in fact there was very little of it that the Doctor would come clean about, but it was her own fault, had she asked he would have told her. Maybe, she still had that belief about knowing and never being able to go back. "I was on the TARDIS for a month, even went to a few weird planets. " Tish smiled at Martha's shocked expression.
"I never knew. He never said anything about it."
"You never asked, Martha. And anyway, it wasn't anything huge, I just needed to be there for a time, then I had a hard time leaving. It's the safest place in the universe, you know?"
Martha nodded; she understood that part as well.
"Let's back up." Tish decided. "I think you need to hear about it. He asked me not to say anything, Martha. But, given the circumstances now, I don't think it will hurt. In fact, it might help." Tish turned to look at her sister, stare really. Martha held her cup in front of her face as a shield, suddenly fearful of Tish's intensity. "Do you love him?" Tish asked finally.
Martha sat stoically, not even a blink to mar her features.
Tish sighed and sat back into the sofa. "All right, Martha, now this has to be done."
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She wandered through the halls feeling the gentle nudge n her mind. Martha had once told her that the ship was alive, and there was no doubt in her mind of the reality of it. She had only been here for two hours, and the ship had made for her a room fit for a queen. The room itself was the size of her entire flat back in Notting Hill, and the bathroom made her friends Jacuzzi look like a toddler wading pool.
After taking a long hot shower and fighting with Jack and the Doctor, Tish angled through the corridors in search of something resembling a kitchen. She was more hungry than tired, even though Jack had tried to steer her toward a nap,he had the best intentions and the worst manners she had ever met in a man.
The ship finally did lead her to a kitchen that looked more like a mad scientist's lab than an actual functioning galley. But, the refrigerator in the far corner was a dead giveaway. She made her way past the three tables piled with gadgetry and the ancient looking stove and wondered when the last time the room had been through either a good thorough cleaning, or a serious bomb attack. Either one was as least likely.
She found milk and cereal and thanked God the alien typically traveled with human companions. Tish made herself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and slid into the bench that passed as a kitchen chair.
"Oh! Those are mine!" She heard from behind her. The Doctor stood eying her choice of snack with all the pout of a two year just informed that the toys would, in fact, have to be shared.
"There is still plenty in there." She assured him.
"There's other types of cereal in there too," he grumbled. "Ah, here we are. Big bowl!" He sat down across from her and dove into his bowl like it would jump off the table at any moment.
Tish smiled at his mania, it was the kind of behavior that would have drove her nuts in anyone else. But, this was the Doctor; she had seen him caged and abused over an entire year, what they shared was more like siblings having survived an alcoholic parent. Love and dysfunction roiled into one. The Doctor had become the big brother she never wanted, but was glad to have. "Are you always this serious about cereal?" she asked with a quirk of her eyebrow.
"This is not cereal," The Doctor insisted around his spoon. "This is Manna."
Tish rolled her eyes as the two friends finished their meal together. The Doctor poured himelf another large bowl of the cereal, while Tish sipped her peppermint tea slowly. "So, what happens now?" She asked when he had finished his second bowl.
The Doctor sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. "It depends on you, doesn't it? Tish, you have made it clear that this was going to be done the way you wanted, I can't see doing it any other way."
Tish nodded slowly. "What should I know, what are the risks, what are the procedures…" She stopped talking as the Doctor seemed to bore into her with an odd glare. "What is it, what?"
"Nothing," he insisted looking away suddenly. "You just, you reminded me of someone."
Tish tilted her head and eyed him slowly. "I should hope so, we are sisters." It was obvious who he meant, what Tish could not understand was his need to hide it. "Doctor, what went on between you and my sister?"
The Doctor's face became a stony mask; he rose from the table and placed his bowl in the sink. "Nothing. No thing. Not a damn thing, Tish. I would never…"
Tish folded her arms and tutted loudly. "Of course you wouldn't no matter how you felt inside. You aren't like him."
The Doctor placed his hands on the edges of the sink and seemed to need help standing. "What he did to you, Letitia, was completely disgusting."
"Because I am human?" she asked.
In one liquid movement, the Doctor was by her side. "Don't you say that, don't ever say that. Your humanity is what makes you far better than my lot ever dreamed to be." He sat across from her again. "Tish, what the Master did, it wasn't…I don't even know how it could have happened. Unless he, nah he could not have done that."
"He did," she nodded and tapped her temple. "The last time, the last night we were, he wa…"
The Doctor blanched at her assertion. "He bonded with you?" he spat.
Tish shrugged, unsure if that was the right term for it. He did that to me long before that last night, Doctor."
The Doctor knelt in front of her, "Tish, I want to do something to understand how...this happened." he nodded.
"Do what exactly?"
"I can go into your mind, see if there is any damage. See what the extent of it is."
Tish visibly recoiled at the request. "Go into my mind? Are you psychic?"
The Doctor smiled. "Not for each other we weren't not to any great extent anyway. But it works on other species. I can go in and find out for sure what we are dealing with..."
"What are the risks?" she asked matter of factly.
He smiled again then and shook his head. Tish knew what he meant, knew what he was thinking. "Why were you so terrible to her if she meant that much to you?"
HE stood, and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Tish, my life is strange, its aliena and foreign to anything you would understand. "
This looked around the catch all kitchen and shrugged. "We're all alien to each other, Doctor. Even back home. It's not enough of an excuse to treat someone badly. Its as if you were punishing her for your own feelings."
"Maybe I was," he spoke, but it seemed far away as if it was a revelation even to himself. Tish shrugged again and sighed. "The risks, Doctor Emo?"
"Ah, yes." he scratched the back of his head. "Nothing to untoward, I just want to see how dep the rabbit hole goes. There's no danger, Tish. Just might feel a bit weird."
"Weird, hmm that seems to sum up everything with you, doesn't it? All right, Doctor. Do your worst."
The Doctor knelt in front of the sitting woman, he brought his hands to her temples and leaned in closer. When his fingers came to her temples Tish felt an electricity that brought her back to the night that Saxon had touched her in much the same way. Where The Master's touch had been sour and heavy, the Doctor's intrusion into her mind was light and almost comforting.
Within seconds, the Doctor removed his hands and sat back onto the floor in front of her. He brought his hands to his face and shook his head.
"That bad?" she asked after a long minute of silence between them.
The Doctor nodded. "No, no, just..." he shook his head as if to shake the thoughts out of his mind. "I didn't know he had done that."
Tish nodded.
"But, it makes sense how this could have happened now. The baby, I mean. His connection to you, it makes it easier for probabilities..."
"this isn't about numbers and statistics, Doctor." she spoke. "I am a real and feeling being, with a very serious situation. I appreciate your level of detachment, but I would apprecaite more knowing you at least cared a little bit more."
"I am sorry," he started.
"Oh, don;t you give me that 'I'm so, so sorry' bit either, I am not asking for sympathy or pity, I just want to know you are going to handle this with a heart...or hearts."
He said nothing, but his expression spoke words he never would. She could tell he was mentally trying to come up with the right thing to say without coming off like a doctor high on a God Complex.
"Nothing to say?" she asked finally.
"You are in good hands, Tish. I promise."
"Guess that is as close as you are going to come to bedside manner, then." Tish studied him for a time. "You never said I would get so much from you on the other side of it."
The Doctor stood quickly. "What do you mean?" he asked menacingly.
Tish was not concerned with is demeanor. What he was trying to hide was so big even he could not deal with it. Big tough alien defender, scared of a woman. "You are such a coward." she accused.
He turned and left the room without another word.
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"What did you see, Tish?" Martha sked, curiosity was always her downfall.
Tish looked at her sister with a small grin. "I saw you, Martha, and so did he."
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She found him in the medical room, his backed turned to her, he seemed preoccupied with setting up equipment. She'd given him an hour to lick his wounds, but the ship had began to nudge her toward the medbay.
He knew she was there and spoke to her without turning around. "It's going to be tricky, Tish."
She came and sat on the bed in the center of the large room, "how so?"
"There are differences in the biological make up of the fetus, not quite human, not quite Gallifreyian. Makes the whole process dodgy." He stopped, then and cleared his throat. "The, uh fetus isn;t going to leave easily." he spoke still not looking at her.
Tish nodded from her spot. "Are you saying that I may have to continue this pregnancy?"
He sis turn then, came and sat next to her on the gurney. "No way." he smiled. "I'll not do that to you. The danger can be averted. I promise."
"What about the fetus?"
"Tish, we aren't trying to save the fetus. We are trying to make sure your sanity stays in tact." he sighed, removed his brainy specs and went on. "I can adjust the equipment to allow for the differences in physiology, but I will not do that until I am sure there will be no damage to you."
Tish looked down at her hands before speaking. "You have a lot of space agey Star Trek type of stuff here, can you maybe, create some sort of environment or artificial womb?"
"What are you saying, Tish?" he asked quietly. Tish shook her head, but the Doctor went on. "Funny thing about a bond, he would have had to have permission from your parents. Did you know that?"
Tish shook her head.
"But, he didhave them enslaved, and it makes it more...odd. The fact is, Tish, what he did to you, it isn;t real, but it is in your head. I could go in, make you forget it all."
"Could you remove what he did?" she asked hopefully.
The Doctor shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Tish, I can;t do that. There was a word he whispered to you, a word you probably don;t even recall."
"His true name." She nodded.
If the Doctor was surprised by that, he did not show it. Instead he stood again and began to pace. "Right, so in order to understand what is going on, I suppose I should tell you a few things. First, Gallifreyian biology is vastly different on the inside than human biology. You know about the obvious; two hearts, respiratory bypass system."
Tish nodded.
"But, our evolutionary scheduele dictated a need for bonding. Don't ask me why, Tish, its an extraordinarily long tale and I am sure you can read about the same things in yur history books." The Doctor smiled a bit and went on." Anya, the bonding defuses into exceptional parenting mechanisims."
"A healthy relationship makes for healthy offspring."
"Exactly. Now, the fact that the Master was able to-"
"Put the whammy on me."
"Right, put the 'whammy' on you made for your environment more receptive for breeding. I cannot tell you why he did it, I never understood him, not even when we were children."
"You've known him that long?" she asked.
"Never really knew him, but at one time, we were very close, Tish."
"So, the Master being bonded to me made it easier for me to conceive."
"You should not have been able to conceive at all, even with that. " He said.
Tish nodded, "but does that make it harder to remove the fetus?" she asked.
He shook his head, "No, its the inherent biological differences that present a challenge, but I love a challenge, me!" he smiled that manic smile that her sister had often mentioned. It was a smile that made you believe that anything, no matter how crazy, was possible, and completely probable. He moved around the room liquidly, setting up instruments that looked like something out of Star Wars. "Ultrasound?" she asked when he helped her lie back.
"Something like that." he nodded.
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"It was amazing a full image of him, there. Two hearts, Martha, and surround sound."
Martha nodded, she knw first hand how cool the amazing stuff in the TARDIS was. "Is that what changed your mind?" she asked.
Tish shook her head. "Martha, the whole time I kept wanting to ask how we could sav him. The Doctor was open and honest with me, told me that I was lucky to be able to get the fetus out without any damage to myself. But..."
"But,"
"I never wanted him dead, Martha." she said with a smile. "Even when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted him to have a chance."
"But Tish, I don't understand, why?" Martha had always wondered the why, but the distance in time made it easier to ask. The sadness in Tish's smile was long gone, but left in its wake was a woman of sheer strength.
"It was this feeling, every time I touched the Master, I felt...odd. As if, as if everything would be all right, even when he was torturing me. It was so, Martha I cannot explain to you the emotions that his touch elicited. But, when he died, I thought I was free. I really did." Tish shuddered, "but, we both know that wasn't true, don't we." Tish fixed Martha with a look that confirmed her knowledge of what Martha was going through.
"How do you know, Tish? About me, how do you know?"
"It is not a far logical jump, Martha. It had to be I suppose." she shrugged. "But, you need to know, the reason I am sharing this part of my story with you, you need to know the truth."