Unlikely Allies,
Chapter 28
"So aren't we too drunk to Apparate," Marlene asked a little worriedly when the other three stood to go. She certainly was too drunk to Apparate, and she wasn't sure that she trusted any of the other three enough to allow them to Side-Apparate with her in their current inebriated states.
"Sure we are," Rodolphus said. "We have a Portkey for that."
"That's a relief," Marlene said.
"We all may be crazy, but not that sort of crazy," Rabastan said with a chuckle. "We're not at all into risking ourselves."
"Good. Because I certainly wasn't under that impression," Marlene said, laughing.
"The Portkey is in the pocket of my robe. Once we're out in the alley, I'll take it out and we'll go home," Rodolphus explained.
"He said he'll take it out," Bella giggled as they headed for the door. She flung an arm around Rod who grinned wolfishly at her.
"I'd prefer you to take it out," he said, and Rabastan made a choking sound.
Marlene laughed. "Rabbit's right. Not in front of the children... Which would be us, in case you weren't sure." She shook a chastising finger at Rod and Bella.
"Well if she takes it out, you've gotta leave," Rodolphus said. They were all laughing as they walked from the bar. Once they were outside, Rodolphus reached into his pocket and withdrew a small statue of the Corvus constellation. It looked to be made of pewter. In the dimming evening light, Marlene could make out the raven seated on the back of the Hydra in clear sculpted detail.
Rodolphus extended the figurine on his palm. "Everyone touch it, and we're off." Rabastan, Bellatrix and Marlene surrounded him, each extending a finger to place on the statue. Once they had done, Rodolphus murmured a word under his breath that sounded to Marlene to be French. Clearly that word had activated the portkey. She couldn't help a disgruntled sound escaping her as an odd squeezing pressure gripped her body and worse, her head! Hoping she wasn't about to be ill, she dropped her hand from the statue and stumbled a few steps before opening her eyes. Only then did she realize that she'd apparently closed them during transit. They all stood in the center of the Lestrange's Parlor. "Alright, time for more drinks," Bellatrix said, hurrying from the room.
"We have to be pretty drunk for drunken dueling, else what's the point," Rabastan explained, grinning cheerfully over at Marlene.
For her part, she was already feeling pretty drunk. "If being too drunk to safely Apparate isn't pretty drunk how drunk is pretty drunk," she wondered.
Rabastan laughed. "You're funny," he stated unnecessarily. Taking her hand, he guided her to the sofa. It was covered in green velvet and looked quite comfortable. Upon settling down onto it at Rabastan's side, she discovered that it was indeed as comfortable as it looked. "There isn't a glass or bottle limit or anything," Rabastan continued. "It's just something we can sense. We just know when we're drunk enough is all."
"For me it's when I find it a challenge to hold my current bottle or glass steadily," Rodolphus chimed in. "It means my wand hand won't be steady either, and for me that's the point. If you can defend yourself without a steady wand hand, you're probably going to survive anything, I say." As he spoke, he headed over to the matching loveseat, sprawling himself out across it.
Marlene glanced thoughtfully over at him. "I like your philosophy. It's wise."
Rod shrugged. "Being wise is often too much work, but thank you."
Marlene flicked a glance to Rabastan, worry suddenly rising up in her as words spilled nearly unbidden from her mouth. "He really should take more of a leading stance. It may be best for everyone." Bellatrix reentered the room then before anyone else could speak. She carried four bottles, two stuck under each arm. "Get one, Rod, and give Rabastan another. If I try, I'm likely to drop one," she said.
Marlene chuckled. "You're too drunk to levitate them along in front of you, I take it."
Bella nodded. "Indeed I am."
Drunken dueling was going to be really interesting, Marlene decided. If any of them could hold their wands by the time they were actually ready to duel, she would be surprised. Rodolphus hurried forward to help Bella with the bottles. "It's probably too late for that," he told Marlene. He handed Rabastan a bottle, and Bellatrix passed one to Marlene before cracking open the last one and taking a swig.
The bottles were each the size of a bottle of wine, but held butterscotch flavored Firewhisky. If they were each to have their own, that was a lot of drunk on top of the drunk they were already rocking, Marlene thought. For some reason that struck her as extremely funny, and she burst into laughter before opening her own bottle. "It smells really good," she said before taking a swig.
"It's butterscotch, so it'd better, else something really went wrong when it was being distilled," Rabastan smirked.
"Not all butterscotch smells equally good, I'll have you know," Marlene shot back, still laughing.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus exchanged a glance. "Are they really talking about butterscotch," Bellatrix wondered.
"I hope not," Rodolphus replied dryly.
"Be nice to us, or we'll just go up stairs, and then who will drunken duel with you," Rabastan told them after taking a prolonged swig from his bottle.
"Yes," Marlene agreed, before doing the same.
Rodolphus and Bellatrix settled themselves onto the loveseat, pretending to ignore the threat made by Marlene and Rabastan. "Just don't take too long drinking your bottles, little babies," Bellatrix drawled, and Rodolphus snickered.
"Back at you," Rabastan said before taking another large swig. Marlene matched him, and he flashed her a grin, reaching over and slipping his hand into hers. It felt nice. Too nice. They were having fun together, Marlene reminded herself drunkenly. Not getting close. They weren't supposed to get close. Wasn't holding hands getting close, though? Then again with Bella and Rod constantly making out while they had to watch, not touching would be odd.
Yeah, that was it. Reassured, she sighed contentedly, snuggling into Rabastan's side. Because the butterscotch drink was very sweet, it went down easy. Because it was also very strong, everyone was quite drunk by the time their bottles were empty nearly half an hour later. Because talking of serious matters would only serve to ruin the mood, they kept conversation light while they drank. Mostly Bella ranted about her sister or former sister as she called her, having a child with someone unsuitable.
Rodolphus enjoyed needling her about her problematic family and Rabastan and Marlene wisely stayed out of it. "I'm just saying," Rodolphus said with a snicker. As he spoke, Bella swung her nearly empty bottle at his head, causing him to duck and laugh even harder. "I'm just s-saying," he continued through his laughter. "It's not my family with the Blood Traitors and nastiness. You've got Andy, Sirius and Kreach and Regi!"
"We no longer have Sirius and Andy," Bellatrix snapped. "And most people are thankfully unaware of the nastiness that is Kreacher and Regulus so do shut up."
"You can't undo Sirius and Andy by burning them off the family tree. You can disown them, as well you should, but you can't claim they were never Blacks, Bella, so you lose!" Rodolphus happily crowed the last two words before doubling over with a groan of pain when Bella whacked him in the stomach with her bottle. Marlene was unable to suppress a snicker, and Bellatrix gave her a gratified smile. "You're a Lestrange now, though. All pure and clean," Rodolphus told her. Straightening, he dragged her onto his lap and kissed her soundly. "Even though your family is tainted, I love you anyway."
"Stop that or we are going upstairs," Rabastan warned.
"Yep," Marlene agreed.
"He's right," Rodolphus said. "It's time to duel. Anyone else got any drink left, finish it and let's do this." He waved his empty bottle pointedly at Rabastan and Marlene.
"Bitch, our bottles are empty," Rabastan laughed.
"Alright," Rodolphus said. He rose to his feet, Bellatrix following in one smooth fluid motion. Both wore serious expressions, all laughter momentarily gone. "Let's do this," Rodolphus said. Rabastan and Marlene stood, Marlene hazily wondering just where the fuck her wand was. "Wait a minute! I've got to remember where the hell my wand is," she said.
"Don't worry. We won't start until everyone is ready," Bellatrix assured.
"Good," Marlene said with a sigh of relief as she patted herself down. There her wand was up her right sleeve. "Found it," she crowed triumphantly.
"Yea," Rabastan said. "Is everyone else ready?" As he spoke, he spun his wand in his fingers before tossing it up and catching it. That was a good move for someone as drunk as he was, Marlene thought admiringly. Tentatively she tried the same move, twirling her wand in her fingers, then tossing it up. She caught it but just. If she'd been a millimeter off, she would've dropped it. Damn she was drunk! At least so was everyone else. She'd just hang on to her wand tight, and she'd be good to go. No dropping her wand, and she'd be just fine.
"Alright," Rodolphus said. "Remember, everyone is fair game. One, two, three, and GO!"