Alice banged her head against the door of the Swan household, since her hands were busy with bags and suitcases. Bella Swan opened the door.
"Oh, hello." She greeted them, although secretly she thought the Cullen's were… A few logs short of a bonfire.
"BELLA SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED!" Rosalie yelled.
"Oh, please, you've caught Emmett singing Sunshine on the toilet before." Bella sighed.
"No. But now I think about it, that was considerably worse than this." Rose said.
"Did you walk in on Jasper doing his Magic Hat Parade?" Bella asked.
"No. This is worse." Esme replied.
"Did you find Edward's Toilet Diary?" She said, giving Edward a long look.
Silence.
"Did Carlisle take those penis enlargement pills again?"
"That was a nightmare." Edward sighed, frustrated.
"You're preaching to the choir." Jasper sighed. Everyone look at him.
"I had to do the measuring." He continued.
"So… What's going on?" Bella asked, desperate to change the subject.
"We are completely broke." Carlisle explained, telling Bella the whole story.
"Oh." She replied, not really knowing what to say.
"Can we stay here?" Jasper yelled at Bella.
"I mean…There's not a lot of room…"
"Don't worry. I can fold in half, like a garden chair." Jasper told her, pushing past into her house. The whole family followed him. Alice, Jasper, Edward, Rosalie and Emmett ran upstairs; except Jasper, who galloped on his horse.
"Where are you going?" Bella called up after them.
"To unpack our stuff!" Rosalie yelled back down. Bella ran up the stairs.
"What are you doing in my room?" She asked.
"Unpacking." Edward said.
"YOU'RE ALL GOING TO SLEEP HERE?!" She screamed.
"Yes."
"I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP HERE WITHOUT MY COWBOY HATS!" Jasper sobbed, brushing Bella's things carelessly off the chest of draws. He carefully placed his hats down on it.
"Oh my gosh Jasper be careful!" Bella yelled at him. She turned her attention to Alice, who was hanging her clothes up in Bella's wardrobe.
"Bella, there's not enough wardrobe space for my clothes and shoes and condoms!" She wailed.
"Condoms-" Bella began, but stopped talking as Alice started ripping Bella's clothes out of her wardrobe, and throwing them at Edward and just scattering them around the room.
"Alice!" Bella screamed. She looked at Edward for help. It wasn't very comforting.
"Edward… What…?" She whispered.
"Oh, this?" He said. "This is Miss Mctits." He told her, holding up a life-size plastic blow-up doll.
"Oh my god!" Bella shrieked.
Rosalie was placing all her face paints in Bella's bedside cabinet. At least that wasn't so bad. Although, that gave her little comfort.
Emmett was hanging his bunny costumes in Bella's wardrobe. Alice was yelling at him for taking up all the room. Edward came and stuffed the doll at the bottom of the wardrobe. Alice screamed and bitch slapped them.
"Alice, the wardrobe is for everyone…" Bella began.
"NOOO!" Alice cried, curling up in a ball on the floor. "IT'S FREAKING MINE!"
Jasper placed his red and white hat on Alice's head. Then yelled at her for stealing it.
Bella sat on her bed – or what was left of it – and put her head in her hands. It would be a long day.