Bella, who had just finished Geography, made her way to the cafeteria.

"BELLA!" Alice Cullen screamed at the top of her voice. She was waving her over.

"FRIDGIT BITCH! OVER HERE!" Rosalie also yelled, standing up and waving, just like Alice.

"Bella Swan!" Emmett screamed, jumping up and down like a bunny.

"BELLA!" Jasper yelled, standing on the table and throwing his cowboy hat at her.

The whole family were waving her over, and being very conspicuous about it. Everything was silent. Everyone was staring either at the Cullens or at her.

"YES I KNOW I AM COMING OVER JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE SITTING YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL I CAN SEE YOU!" Bella shouted at them. They fell silent, and sat down, disheartened. Bella felt a pang of guilt. She picked up Jaspers cowboy hat and handed it to him. He looked up at her with huge puppy eyes, and started sobbing hysterically.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" Bella gasped, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I lost my hat!" He wailed.

"But… Your hat is right here." Bella replied, gesturing to the hat on the table.

"YAY!" Jasper screamed, hugging the hat close to him.

Rosalie sighed.

"So… How was your day?" Bella asked all of them.

"I came top of my class in face painting!" Rosalie yelled, looking proud.

"That's good!" Bella smiled.

"Did you get to the top of your class?" She asked, looking down her nose at Bella.

"I… Don't go to face painting classes…"

"I'm not talking about that, bitch." Rose snapped rudely.

"Jasper, what about you?" Bella asked him quickly.

"I was taken to Reception and had a long lecture about Bestiality."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Bella screamed.

Jasper shrugged. "It's not my fault. That snail was such a slut."

Bella was speechless. Just… What? … Who was she even talking to…?

"Alice? How was your day?"

"Latin was good. I got 3 marks."

"That's good!" Bella said encouragingly.

Alice looked up at her. "Out of 999." She continued.

"Oh…" Bella said. "Emmett?"

"I had lots of fun jumping around!" He screamed.

"So… You never go to lessons…?" Bella asked.

"No."

"Edward? What about you?" She asked.

"I got suspended." He answered as if it was the most causally thing in the world.

"What?! Why?!" Bella screamed.

"I was caught fucking Miss McTits in lessons."

"Oh god!" Bella cried, incredibly embarrassed. "Why would you do that?!"

"Bella…" Edward said, looking at her straight. "I'm an incredibly horny vampire."

"Edward, I told you," Bella said, pushing her hair behind her ear. "I'm boring, fridgit, and incredibly conflicted about losing my virginity."

Alice and Jasper burst into song randomly.

Bella sighed.

Okay, if you don't know what Alice said, just go on Google Translate, and it's in Latin, so do that now!

Please review!