BPOV
"And what did she say?" He asked in a threatening tone.
Should I tell him everything? He might get angry at Esme for talking to me on his behalf?
Hadn't I already created enough problems for his family?
But didn't he deserve to know the truth?
And after what Esme did to us, why was I even thinking about how he'd react towards her?
"She said you're stuck in this marriage because you're feeling guilty about what she did. I agree with her. This is not fair to you. She said you're suffering in this marriage, but she said you'd leave me only if I ask you to do so. She asked me to divorce you."
If someone told me he could murder his own mother, I'd have believed him. That's the kind of look he was giving right now!
"I don't think she's wrong, to be honest... I think..." I said.
"Is that the only reason you asked for the divorce?" he asked me, "Please, it's important for me to know."
He seemed to be trying hard to control his anger.
"Yeah... I mean, no... I do feel this marriage is not fair to you, but..."
But because I was an hopeless idiot, I was daydreaming about what if we could make this marriage work!
"Bella..." he chuckled sarcastically, "I'm no saint. Why would I be stuck in the marriage only because of what my mother did? Why would I waste my life like that?"
"I..." I couldn't find the words.
Maybe because he was feeling bad for me? But he was right. Why would he want to waste his life?
"Let me be very clear. I'm one of the most selfish men you'll ever meet. I'm here because I want to be with you. I'm here because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm here because I love you. Do you understand that?" he said firmly while looking into my eyes.
I wasn't sure what that did to my heart. Nobody had ever talked to me so passionately like this before.
While I didn't think he was one of the most selfish men in the world, I liked how possessively he talked about me.
But... Why would he feel something like that for me?
It didn't make any sense.
"But why would you love me? It didn't make any sense to me." I said, "You're so smart, so successful, so intelligent... You're perfect. I'm... nobody."
That was the fact.
I was nothing in comparison to him.
"Maybe I see you more than you see yourself," he said, "You're perfect to me."
"I'm not even a college graduate," I said nervously.
"That you will be someday," he said confidently, "In fact, you will get your PhD, as you planned for yourself."
"Edward... It looks good only in theory," I sighed, "I've a long journey to make."
"And we can do that together... If you give me a chance." He said.
"But... You can find someone better... Someone who is equal to you... Like Jane... Or the woman today..."
I felt the sting of jealousy as I mentioned them. Why couldn't I be like them? Why didn't I meet him differently?
"Bella... I did what I did today is only because I'm an idiot," he sighed, "There's no other explanation. I have never felt anything for anyone like the way I feel about you. You need to believe me when I say it will never happen again. Please!"
I guess I could forgive him? Or maybe I did that already? I mean, I had told him that I didn't want to be with him anymore. Could I blame him if he wanted to move on?
I trusted him for some reason. I knew he'd not hurt me if we decided to give this marriage a serious chance.
"Look... I know I need to talk to Mom, but I don't really want to spoil my mood right now. I know we've a lot to discuss... I know we've a long way to go... But I'm hungry as hell. Why don't we go for dinner somewhere? Let's go on a date."
Were we really doing this?
I felt butterflies in my stomach.
Yeah, I needed to give this a chance.
"That sounds like a good idea." I smiled.