edgaryg: You truly write the best reviews on the face of the earth! :3 I hope this "chapter" brings some more smiles to your face and makes you laugh again :) And honestly, the pleasure is all mine, this story really makes me happy!
hp772222: Thank you! :) Yes I'm really excited for Connor as well, finally some more drama/action! :D We can't have everything be perfect for too long can we muahaha
MsNevermind: MUAHAHA YES BABIES! :D And I'm sure you would do it perfectly, you're such a great writer as well :3
ChanLxoxo : Thank you so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying it:)
AssassinsGurl2012: yes, child-birth isn't as romantic as you'd think XD I loved writing it, it was so funny XD
Victory Goddess: Yeah I wonder why Haytham doesn't just get rid of Charles... Even in the game. I think he's just really attached to his ideals and doesn't want to realise that Charles is a really bad guy. But it'll be explained properly later :) But yes, Haytham does just need some love!
ObsessedFableFreak: There just HAD to be a baby, Haytham needs to witness at least one of his children's births! XD Poor guy, out of three kids he only saw one of them as a baby! Thank you again, it means a lot to me :3
I know I promissed Connor in the next chapter, but this isn't really a 'proper' chapter. It's just a little April fool's thing I wrote for you all, just like AssassinsGurl2012 suggested! I'll post the next 'real' chapter up in a couple of days when I finish checking it. (I'm not very good with practical jokes so... Meh. I hope you laugh anyawy! I certainly loved writing it :3)
" Good morning little one. " Haytham whispered in my ear as I woke up. The sun was shining in through the window, the sky as blue as the ocean. I turned my head contently, looking up into Haytham's sleepy grey eyes.
" Good morning grandmaster. " I teased him. He groaned, rolling onto his back and stretching. He had never liked me calling him that but he put up with it because the more he protested, the more I called him like that. If he insisted on calling me little, then I would insist on calling him grandmaster. It was only fair! " What's the plan for today? " I asked him as he got out of bed to get dressed.
" I promised Jim I would give him some more lessons in climbing. " He explained. " And then I thought I would take Mary into the forest for a while so she can continue her drawing whilst I get some firewood. And you? " He asked me.
" No idea. " I grinned. Haytham always planned his days whereas I just went along with whatever I could find. He rolled his eyes as we got dressed and made our way downstairs together, trying to tickle each other as we did so. I frowned when none of our children were around but discarded it - they were probably already outside playing around.
I pushed the door to the kitchen open absent mindedly and a bucket of freezing cold water fell on top of me. I froze as the bucket fell to the floor in front of me and looked down at myself. I was soaking wet, my white blouse now see through and my hair stuck to my face. And Haytham? He found nothing better to do than laugh. When I turned around, fuming mad, I found that he was laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes. " This is not funny! " I cried, slapping his arm. " Shut up! "
" Your face! " He laughed, unable to control himself anymore. Haytham rarely ever laughed like that and I usually loved it but right then I was just angry. I grumbled under my breath as I walked into the kitchen, ignoring the puddle of water on the floor.
" I love those children. " Haytham chuckled as he opened a cupboard to pull out the coffee which he had grown to love over the last few years. He pulled a spoon out of the draw and made himself a drink whilst I was happy with a glass of orange juice. But no sooner had Haytham lifted the drink to his lips, he spat it all out over the floor, a look of utter disgust on his face.
" What's wrong? " I asked, a small smile on my face.
" Bloody children! " He growled. " They must have put a sack load of salt into the coffee! "
I burst out laughing, giggling to myself. " And you said you loved them! " I teased him, unable to stop the laughter as he glared at me.
" Maybe I was wrong. " He grumbled, grabbing my orange juice to get rid of the taste. " When I find them, I'll - "
" Morning mama, morning dada! " Jim interrupted his father as he strode into the kitchen with a large smile on his face as he inspected my wet clothes and the coffee spilt on the floor. " What happened here? " He tried asking with a straight face but he wasn't very good at hiding his smile.
" You? " Haytham asked. " You did this? "
" I don't know what you're talking about. " He shrugged, walking past us to grab an apple and run back outside. " Oh, Nora wants to see you in the courtyard! " He added before he disappeared.
Haytham and I exchanged a look, both of us weary about it. It seemed our children had decided to punish us today, and when I looked at the calendar I realised why - April the first, 1773.
Once Haytham and I were clean, dry and dressed properly, we carefully made our way outside into the courtyard. We pushed the doors open before walking through just in case there were more buckets of water, but we found nothing. " Maybe we're just paranoid. " I suggested.
" No. There will be more. " Haytham said. " They're too much like you. "
" Hey! What's that supposed to mean? " I cried.
Haytham chuckled lightly. " You're a trouble maker. " He winked as he stepped out into the courtyard where we found Nora and Jim waiting for us with a bow and some arrows, as well as two large swords.
" About time too! " Nora scolded us. " We've been waiting for ages. We want to learn how to use a bow and arrow! " She giggled, exited. It was weird seeing an eighteen year old girl getting so exited over weapons but that was Nora. Even Jim, now eight years old, seemed exited.
" Of course. " I smiled, ruffling Jim's hair as I picked up the bow. I took an arrow into my hand and explained my posture to the two whilst Haytham crossed his arms and watched me. " And then you take a deep breath, and release the arrow. " I finished explaining, shooting the arrow that I had aimed to the red spot that we had painted on one of the trees at the bottom of the garden. Nine times out of ten I hit the red dot, and the other time I at least hit the tree. This time though, the arrow went completely the other direction and missed the tree by far and Haytham laughed from behind me. " Shut up you! " I scolded him, taking another arrow. " I was probably distracted. " I decided, taking aim again. But still, the arrow went wide, missing the tree so much that it was as if I had never shot before.
" Let me. " Haytham smirked, taking the bow out of my arms, confident he would make me look like an idiot. He took aim, took a deep breath and released the arrow - which went as wide as mine had.
" Ha! " I cried. " See! It's not just me! "
" But I don't understand… " He frowned, looking at the bow. " I've used this bow many times before, there has never been anything wrong with it. "
" Can I try? " Nora asked, taking the bow into her hands. She had shot a few times before and I fully expected her shot to go as wide as mine had. But no, it went straight towards the tree and hit the red spot. She cried out in victory and gave Jim a high-five.
" But - " Haytham started, confusion over his face.
" Sorry dad, maybe you're just getting old. " Jim shrugged, making me giggle. " You too mama! " He added, making my mouth drop.
" How dare you! " I cried whilst Haytham chuckled. " It's got to be the bow, why else would - Oh. Oh Jim, you little bugger. " I smirked whilst he just raised an eyebrow.
" I don't understand mama. " He smiled, feigning innocence. But I knew my son too well to know when he was lying.
" What did you do? " I demanded, a small smile on my face.
" Me? Nothing. " He laughed.
" It was me. I cut the arrow heads. " Nora explained, laughing. " You should have seen your faces! " She giggled. " It was like your world had collapsed around you or something! "
" Crafty. " Haytham mumbled.
A few hours later, I was walking back home after visiting Kevin and found Haytham and Jim outside whilst Haytham tried to teach our son to climb the outside wall. It seemed as though Jim could managed to pull himself onto the roof now but he still wasn't strong enough to do it quickly. " How about we teach you to climb trees? " I suggested when he fell to the floor, rubbing his backside.
" You can do that? " His big green eyes lit up with excitement.
" Of course! " I smiled. " Come on, watch. " I winked, easily climbing up one of the trees in our garden. " See, it's easy! " I called. " Come on Haytham, show him how it's done! "
" I - " He started, staring up at me from the ground.
" Go on dad! Show me! " Jim encouraged him, jumping up and down.
" I cannot. " Haytham grumbled, his cheeks turning red.
" Excuse me? " I asked. " You can't climb trees? Since when? " I jumped down to land by his side and watched him stutter in embarrassment.
" I have never been able to climb trees, I am not a gorilla. " He frowned.
" So I'm a gorilla. " I gave him a look that clearly told him he was in trouble and Jim copied me - he did that a lot.
Haytham sighed heavily and shook his head. " I shall find Mary. I shall leave you to teach our son how to mingle with the wildlife. " He said, kissing me on the forehead and walking back inside.
" Mama? " Jim asked. " You and dada are very different, aren't you? "
This brought a small smile to my face as I watched my husband close the door behind him. " Yes Jim, we are. " I nodded. Haytham and I had always been complete opposites in a lot of things. " But opposites attract. Night and day work together, fire and ice… The world is full of opposites. "
" So when I'm old, I will have to marry a woman who is different to me? " He asked, making me laugh as I ruffled his hair again.
" You don't have to marry anyone dear. As long as you're in love. " I smiled. " Now come on, we've got to get you up this tree! "
Jim and I didn't stop until the sun started to set. By then we were exhausted and our muscles ached all over, but we had enjoyed ourselves. Jim went upstairs to have a bath whilst I joined Mary and Haytham in the kitchen as they were cooking together.
" Bonsoir mon amour. " Haytham greeted me.
" Um, yeah, hello. " I frowned, ignoring him.
" Tu as passé une bonne journée maman? " Mary asked me.
" What? " I asked, not understanding a word.
" Je crois qu'elle ne comprend pas. " She giggled, winking at Haytham.
" En effet. Ta mère n'a jamais cherché à apprendre une autre langue. " He answered, making Mary giggle again whilst he simply stirred the soup.
" What are you two saying? " I cried, looking between the two.
" Ce n'est pas compliqué maman. Allez, essaye de comprendre, je suis sûre que t'y arriverai si t'essayes! " She smiled encouragingly to me.
" Mary please speak English to me! " I was starting to get angry at the two. I hated not understanding things. " Haytham, please tell your daughter to listen to me! "
" Mais voyons, elle ne fait rien de mal! " He shrugged, smirking heavily when my face fell.
" HAYTHAM! " I shouted. " You know very well I hate this! Stop it! "
" Pourquoi faire? " He grinned.
" EEEENGLIIIIISSSHHH! " I pleaded him.
" Français. " He chuckled.
" You're an arsehole. " I frowned, dipping my finger into the soup to taste.
" And you're a gorilla. " He whispered into my ear as his fingers slithered around my waist to pull me against him. " A large, hairy gorilla who can't speak a word of French. " He continued, kissing my neck passionately.
I looked around, not wanting Mary to see this but she had already disappeared so I let myself enjoy the moment. " And you're an annoying posh snob. " I countered, all venom in my voice lost as he turned me around to ravage my lips with his. Before I knew it, he lifted me up into his arms and put me on the table to continue our heated moment but it didn't last long - the table gave way under our weight and we fell in a heap on the floor, all the food falling onto us at the same time. Before we could even understand what had happened to us, I heard giggling coming from the door.
I looked around to see all three of my children - Nora, Mary and Jim - standing proudly in the doorway as they laughed at us. I looked over to Haytham as he pushed himself up off the floor, his hair covered in flour and eggs, and glare at his children. " You have a bad influence on them. " He grumbled as he pulled me up off the floor.
" Well they've got your name. " I countered, attempting to brush the flour off my dress. " Are you thinking the same as me? " I whispered into his ear and saw his eyes flash evilly.
" Always. " He smirked, and at the same time we jumped towards our children and tackled them all to the floor, covering them in flour and egg and milk as they squirmed to get away.