Hey guys! Sorry I wanted you guys to know that I haven't abandoned you. My phones back on but I've AP tests coming up in school and I have to dedicate my time to study. (Which I'm supposed to be doing now) I won't be able to write again for at least two weeks. But whenever I have spare time I'll write i promise.

I suck I know and you guys deserve better. Once AP and finals are done I'm all yours.

So basically once summer vacation starts. Again I'm sorry but RL (sadly) comes first.

She arrives at the precinct with Royal earlier than normal the next day. Mainly because she couldn't sleep after Castle left. Her mind was buzzing and her body was aching, calling out for him all night. Not to mention that Royal and his abandonment issues and was whimpering half the night. It wasn't until she allowed him to get up on her bed that he quieted.

Sleep never came to her, fatigue never came to her. She was still too wired on the possibilities of what could have happened, the "what it's."

What if Castle hadn't stopped her? What if she took him right then? What if she hadn't told him she needed time? What if they would have gotten together? What if he didn't want her physically? What if she had stopped him from rubbing her hand? What if she had told him how she felt about him?

So many

So many different things and its driving her nuts. She keeps dwelling on what's going to happen tonight at dinner. What will he say? What will she say? She's the one who needed time to think.

With all these factors it makes sense for her not to be able to find sleep.

So she's sitting here, at her desk with Royal sitting beside her and six in the morning.

Hours fly by before Castle and the boys arrive. He brought her coffee-as always- but something's, different.

He's not looking at her differently or speaking weird, or making it awkward, or touching her or making any reverence to last night at all.

Wait.

That's it. He's acting normal. He's acting as if it never happened. She can't decide whether to be hurt or grateful. But she settles on grateful because the last thing she needs is to be pressured into a decision or to have the boys catch him doing something inappropriate.

So yes she's grateful.

The rest of the day goes better than she expected. They'd managed to find out who the killer was, Royal was very helpful during the take down.

But it was after Kay cuppucio left with Royal and Ryan and Esposito both left for the day that things got a bit...awkward? Maybe serious? Like she was suddenly pulse back into reality.

"So? Nine?"

She turns and stares at him for a moment. Then brings herself to stand directly in front of him, just a few inches from his face. She looks away checks her watch and shakes her head no.

"Seven." It's not a question. She knows he'll meet at whatever the time she wants him there.

"I'll be there." It's a promise.

She gets home later than anticipated because traffic was just not on her side today. It was like the street lights were allergic to the color green.

She didn't get home until six fifteen. She was hoping she had at least an hour to do something but she didn't.

She can this right? She can shower dress up nicely and cook a fancy dinner all before seven right?

Wrong

Absolutely wrong. She started the food and let it cook while she tried to take a five minute shower. Didn't work out so well.

She ended up staying and extra 15 minutes (does she not have a sense of time?) Her beautiful chicken, just burnt...to a crisp.

She wanted to cry. She really did. But she toughened up and went for plan B.

She took her left over steak and rice out of the fridge that she made for her and Lanie. She put the steak in the oven and went through the rice and picked out all the onions and peas, two things she knows he hates.

She considered leaving the peas in, just to torture him a bit but decided against it. By the time she finished that it was 7:01 and she knew he would be here at any second. Worst of all she's still in her bath towel!

She has no time to put on a nice out fit never mind picking one out. So she settled on her skinny jeans and a simple white v-neck shirt. Just for kicks she even put on her black ugg boots.

But before she even had time to put the second shoe on she heard Castle knock on her door.

She assessed herself in the mirror before going to let him in. If she had an extra ten minutes then she put some make up on and dry her hair. But this will have to suffice and it's not like Castle would judge her anyway.

"Hey." She greeted when she finally opened the door.

"Hey."

"Come in Castle." He smiled awkwardly. Clearly he didn't know how to handle this situation. He's waiting for her to bring it up, to talk to him and she suddenly feels bad because he's always waiting for her on her. Not any more because she intends on giving him the answers he needs the answers he deserves.

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Sure."

He learned on the counter while she tended to the food. He stayed quiet not wanting to disturb her but he also just didn't know what to say, how to act.

He's never seen her like this before. Hair down while still soaking wet, no make up, and dressed down. And she's so calm and domestic that he's having a hard time believing that this is his Beckett. The hard, tough, savvy detective. She's cooked him dinner and she allowed him into her apartment to talk about their relationship. About taking it to the next, about being on the "together" level. His mind still hasn't fully expected it so forgive him if he's a little slow.

He was doing the same thing last night. He thought his brain was playing tricks on him whenever he would think back to last night. Kate Beckett was kissing him last night. Right? Yeah that's why he's here.

They eat standing by the counter in silence. Castle'a having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her. Her hair is still dropping wet and it's soaking through the back of her shirt.

If she noticed his staring, she didn't let on. The silence between them is becoming torturous not to mention how good she looks standing next to him. But now she's moving. She stands straight and puts her hair up into a wet messy bun and he can't help but watch her.

She's beautiful

How did he get so luckly? How is he the man that got to kiss her last night? How is he the one who she's considering being with? He doesn't deserve her and she's way too good for him. And yet here she is giving him the chance.

They finish dinner and they both travel to the sink to deposit their plates. But she still doesn't speak and it's driving him crazy.

"What do you want?" He whispered his eye brows melting in the middle.

"What?"

"What do you want!" He couldn't contain it, couldn't hold it in anymore. "Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you Kate."

"I-I," she wasn't expecting this. Castle's never really gone off on her like this before. Although he can't really blame him. She has been keeping him on hold all night. There's no dog to make the first move.

"You what Kate? You. I want to be with you if I haven't made that clear. I just-" he calmed down and buried his face in his hands. "I need to know. Just tell me what you want."

"Castle I don't know. I know that I don't want you out of my life but-"

"But what? Last nighty you kissed me back." He walked up to her stopping just inches from her face. "So I know you felt it," he whispered. "I'm not gonna let you deny us any more."

"I'm not denying it Castle. I'm saying that I need more time."

"Time for what?"

"Just to figure everything out!" She took a step back but he followed her.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

"What?" She asked surprised by the question.

"Do you have feelings for me? Yes or no."

"Yes Castle but-"

"Do you want to be with me?"

Kate looked away. Why is he doing this? It's not this simple.

She closed her eyes and bit into her lip before whispering "yes."

"Then that's all there is to it. It's not that complicated."

"It's not that simple either Rick!"

"Yes it is! You want something you take it."

He demonstrated by grabbing either side of her face and kissing her. Just to prove that he's right and to make her remember what it felt like to kiss him, to want him. She can't deny it any more. No more excuses, he won't stand for it.

No more being patient and a kind gentleman. She has to make a choice. Now or never.

"Take what you want. Nothing else matters," he whispered. "If I am what you want then push everything that's holding you back away and take me."

Kate let two tears escape and slide down her cheeks. Castle caught them with his thumbs and wiped them away.

"Don't cry. Just take me. I'm right here, right now."

"I do take you Castle. I was going to I just need a little more time. I'm not there yet."

"If you want it, peace, then take it. I'll help you get there. Whenever it is you wanna be. I'll remind you everyday what it is you're fighting for and I'll help keep you strong, standing tall."

"You do that already."

"Then I'll keep doing it."

Kate buried her face into the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you," se whispered.

"No, thank you."