"I'm hurting you because I love you."
A rag held tightly against her chest, it has been sewn and patched and re-stuffed repeatedly. Familiar words diffuse from her dry and chapped lips as she punctures her only friend with a dull needle.
"I'm hurting you because I love you."
It was such a clear memory. Yet another stain in her empty childhood as she was handed a backpack of her own and received a apologetic pat on the head.
"I wanted nothing but to protect you, your life, your happiness, your innocence. But now that… its gotten much worse… I'm only making things harder for the inevitable. And the inevitable has arrived."
She had no idea what he had just said. "What's inevitababble?"
Releasing a heavy sigh, he responded. "It means unavoidable."
"Oh." She hugged the backpack against her chest with struggle, her arms growing tired under the weight. "Hey Simon, why do I need a backpack like you? Do you not want to share anymore?" She looked up at his changed face with concern.
"No, Marcy… I'm going… On an… adventure." He chose his words carefully.
"What kind of adventure? Will we get to fight dragons this time? With real swords?" Marceline beamed with excitement.
"I'm going on my own adventure. Alone"
Marceline drops the heavy backpack on the ground.
"You're leaving?"
Simon hesitates. "Only for a day or two… I need to find myself again."
"But… You're right here"
"It doesn't feel that way, Marceline."
Tears threatened to descend down the little girl's cheeks, Simon couldn't bear it, so he bent down and gave little Marcy a hug. He gripped her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.
"Marceline, you will be just fine. Everything you need is in that backpack, and most of it you'll only need if you leave this shelter."
"This is just an old trailer." Marceline rolled her eyes at the beat-up mobile home they were standing in.
Simon sighed remorsefully, and then stood up to leave. He had barely lifted his own backpack unto his shoulders before Marceline burst out with,
"You're not my friend anymore!"
Simon turned back toward the little girl who wore brave skin. Things were blurring in his mind, every day his memories were slowly being eaten. Although his childhood had been swallowed along with the shreds of memory of his own family, Marceline had remained the longest.
"You really mean that, Marceline?"
"…Not really… But…" Marceline's voice is watery yet dry. "It still hurts!"
"I'm hurting you because I love you."
"It doesn't feel like love."
Simon couldn't take it anymore, he turned on his heel and walked toward the door, but before closing the door behind him, he stops for a moment and utters a short, "Sorry, Gunter."
Now Hambo was her only friend. Marceline promised Hambo that she would let him know what love really felt like. She would patch him up and protect him and make sure he never felt pain or misery. They had matching scars, him and her. His from too much loving and hers from pain and misery and abandonment. Hers weren't visible like Hambo's, but her felt so much worse. Deep in her heart, Marceline still believed the Simon would come back, having found himself and then they can be a family again, and maybe he would stop calling her Gunter.