The Almighty Disclaimer

Oh Moffat, Gatiss, and Thompson

Oh Henson and Doyle,

And Pika-la Cynique the generous,

To you belongs all the characters

And none so for me!

A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth..." by Pika-la-Cynique of Girls Next Door fame.

The title of this chapter comes from Surprised by Joyby C. S. Lewis and it refers to when friendship is born.

&%&%&%

"I know this handwriting," Jareth said.

For a moment, Jareth had looked like when Sarah rejected him in the Escher room. Sarah was reminded of her conversation with Rossetti about a girl Jareth had "invested in" before Sarah.

"Care to elaborate?" Sarah asked, hoping to break Jareth out of whatever dark place he had gone to when he recognized the handwriting.

"Not particularly no. She isn't important. This is too clever for her," Jareth said. He opened the envelope with a knife and he pulled out a familiar cell phone.

"That's the phone. The pink phone," Sarah said.

"What? From the 'Study in Pink'?" Lestrade asked.

"Obviously, it's not the same phone. But it's supposed to look like..." Jareth paused and then snarled, "'Study In Pink'? You read her blog?"

"Of course I read her blog. We all do. I appreciate you changing our names and saying it's fictional, Sarah. It might not go over well with the press," Lestrade said, "I do hear that Jareth is starting to get fan girls."

"Yeah, I really want my shrink to know that I play Scrabble with goblins every Thursday," Sarah said, completely ignoring the last comment.

Jareth tapped the phone. "It is not the same phone. This one is brand new. Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to make it look like the same phone which means your blog has a far wider readership than you expected, Sarah."

Jareth turned on the phone and put it on speaker. "You have one new message." The phone let off five beeps.

"Was that it?" Lestrade asked.

Jareth shook his head. "No, that's not it." He held up the phone and it showed a picture of a a water damaged room.

"What in the hell are we supposed to make of that? An estate agent's photo and the bloody Greenwich pips?" Lestrade said.

Jareth said, "It is a warning."

"A warning?" Lestrade asked.

"Some secret societies used to send dried melon seeds, orange pips, things like that to people they were going to kill. Five pips. They are warning us it's going to happen again. I have seen this place before," Jareth said. He began walking out of Scotland Yard.

Sarah ran after him, putting on her red and white stripped hat. "Hang on. What's going to happen again?"

Jareth said, "Boom."

&%&%&%

"What do you mean you were expecting this?" Sarah said as they drove over to St. Bart's after the phone call from the bomber's hostage.

"As you know, the cabbie said that I had a fan," Jareth said.

"Yes, so?"

Jareth motioned towards Sarah and then back to himself. "When you become obsessed with someone you have not had a real connection with, you have certain expectations. You believe they can do all these wonderful things so you set certain things in their path and hope that they can show off their brilliance while also showing off yours."

"And if they are not happy with what is given to them, you set the Cleaners on them, or in this case blow up an innocent person."

Jareth nodded. "Good. You follow."

"Unfortunately, yes."

They were silent for a few minutes and avoided looking at each other. "I would never have allowed real harm to come to you."

"You were still mad enough to scare me, Jareth. That's one of the signs of emotional abuse. It makes a girl wary."

Jareth turned quickly towards Sarah. "I never, ever would purposefully harmed you."

"That's what they all say, Jareth. Until I see you act in a healthy manner towards me on a consistent basis, I will be moving out. Anything else you want is definitely out of the question."

Jareth nodded. "I understand."

&%&%&%

Sarah was walking back to the lab when she ran into a tall man in a long winter coat who was talking to a shorter man.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you hurt?" Sarah asked.

The tall man turned around. He was odd looking but the combination of strong features made him rather handsome. His blonde, short friend was attractive as well.

The tall man smiled at Sarah. "It's quite all right. Could I borrow your phone for a moment? My reception doesn't work here."

Sarah pulled out her phone and handed it to the tall man. He seemed surprised by this, but took the phone. He quickly sent a text and gave it back to Sarah.

"Thank you, Ms. Williams," the tall man said as he walked away.

"No problem... wait! How do you know my name?"

The two men turned the corner and Sarah ran after them. The men continued to the lab. Jareth was looking into his microscope when he spoke.

"How are you Sherlock?" Jareth said. He looked up from his work.

"Oh, just fine," the tall man said, "So is John. Just met Ms. Williams in the hallway."

"Wait, you're Sherlock?" Sarah asked. He looks nothing like his brother.

Sherlock nodded, shaking Sarah's hand. "Sherlock Holmes. This is my friend, Dr. John Watson."

Sarah shook John's hand. "Hello, Ms. Williams. Have you found a head in the fridge yet?"

"Oh, yes. Last week," Sarah said.

"My first week," John said. "Does he still walk around the apartment in just a sheet?"

"Yes, he does," Sarah said.

"Sherlock does the same."

"Does he start going on tangents about tobacco ash?"

"Yes! I think it's because they can't smoke anymore."

"I thought so too! John, I think we shall be swapping horror stories when this is over."

"Why don't we do that over lunch?"

"Three continents Watson," Jareth said, "Don't you dare use Sarah as a way to conquer North America. Are you two quite finished?"

"Three continents?" Sarah asked.

"Army nickname," John said, looking somewhat abashed.

"Why shoes? Why these shoes?" Sherlock mumbled as he looked over the mystery footwear.

Jareth was about to respond when Molly came into the room. "Jareth, can I... John! Sherlock!"

John gave Molly a hug. "Nice to see you again Molly."

"Nice to see you too," Molly said, "I'll... I'll be back in a minute." Molly almost ran out of the room.

"It seems Molly still has an infatuation with me," Sherlock sighed.

"I think she is dating someone," Sarah said.

"Really? Molly?" John said.

"Yeah, Jim is his name, I think," Sarah said, "He's from I.T. and they have been going out a few times from what I can tell."

"10 days but no sex," Sherlock said.

"You forgot the non-date 12 days ago," Jareth said.

"She is starting to question if they should continue," Sherlock said.

Molly pulled a dark haired man into the lab. "Jim, this is Sherlock Holmes. And Jareth King. And John Watson. And Sarah."

Jim shyly held out his hand to Jareth but was ignored. "Hi. So, you're Jareth King, the detective. Molly's told me all about you. You on one of your cases?"

Molly seemed proud of herself. "Jim works in IT, upstairs. That's how we met. Office romance."

"Gay," Jareth mumbled.

"Sorry, what?: Molly said.

"Nothing. Hey," Jareth said.

"Hi," Jim knocked over a dish and put it back up. "Sorry. Sorry. Well, I'd better be off. I'll see you at the Fox. About sixth?"

"Yeah. Bye," Molly said.

"Bye. It was nice to meet you," Jim said.

Jareth ignored Jim. "You too," John said.

As Jim moved out of the room, Jareth looked at him for a moment and raised an eyebrow. "Have we met before?

"How could we?" Jim asked.

Jareth nodded and Jim finally left.

"What do you mean, gay? We're together," Molly said.

Sarah took a pained breath and made a small noise of protest.

"What? You too?" Molly asked.

"He does... sashay more than Jareth," Sarah said.

"I do not sashay!" Jareth said.

"Yes, you do," was the universal response.

Sherlock glared and held up a piece of paper. "If he is straight, why did he leave Jareth his number?"

Molly gaped and then stormed out of the room.

"And the award for worst friends in an ensemble cast goes to..." Sarah said.

"You were going to bring it up anyway," Jareth said.

"Not in front of a guy that she has a crush on. Why do you think she brought Jim down here? She wanted to make Sherlock jealous," Sarah said.

Before Sherlock could respond, John's phone went off.

"Text from your brother," John said.

"Delete it," Sherlock said.

"Delete it?" John asked.

"Missile plans are out of the country now. Nothing we can do about it," Jareth said.

"Well, Mycroft thinks there is. He's texted me about eight times," John said.

"Then why didn't he cancel his dental appointment?" Sherlock asked in exasperation.

"His what?" Sarah asked.

"Mycroft never texts if he can talk. Look, Andrew West stole the missile plans tried to sell them got his head smashed in for his pains. End of story," Sherlock said.

"How do you know about the plans?" Sarah asked.

"Mycroft is trying to keep me away from this by giving me a problem that I consider boring," Sherlock said, "As I said before, boring. Now, Sarah, I haven't seen you in action. Go on. You must know what Jareth does.

"No," Sarah said.

"Go on," Sherlock said.

"I am not playing this game. It will just waste time anyway. You and Jareth probably are already half way to solving this," Sarah said.

"More like three-quarters," Jareth grumbled.

"Nope," Sarah said, "Not happening."

"But Sarah..." Jareth whined.

"I will show the blackmail," Sarah said.

Jareth had a look of horror cross his face. "Sherlock, just tell them."

Sherlock looked heavenward and mumbled something along the lines of "stupid git". "These shoes are from the eighties. The owner loved these shoes. Scrubbed them clean. Whitened them where they got discolored. Changed the laces three, no four times. Even so, there are traces of his flaky skin where his fingers have come into contact with them. So he suffered from eczema. The shoes are well worn, more so on the inner side which means the owner had weak arches. British made. 20 years old. They're limited edition. Two blue stripes. 1989."

"There's still mud on them. They look new," Sarah said

"Someone has kept them that way. Quite a bit of mud caked on the soles. Analysis shows it's from Sussex with London mud overlaying it," Jareth said.

"Let me guess: pollen," Sarah said.

"Yes. The kid who owned these trainers came to London from Sussex 20 years ago. And left them behind," Sherlock said.

"So, what happened to him?" John asked.

"Something terrible. He loved those shoes," Jareth said. "He would never leave them filthy. He would not let these... Sherlock. What was the name of the boy on your first case."

"Carl Powers. No. Yes! Come on," Sherlock said as he ran out of the room.

"He does that a lot," John said.

&%&%&%

As they rode in the taxi, Sherlock explained. "It was 1989. Young kid, champion swimmer, came up from Brighton for a school sports tournament, drowned in the pool. Tragic accident."

"Let me guess; something was off about the case," Sarah said.

"Carl Powers had some kind of fit in the water but by the time they got him out, it was too late. There was something wrong somewhere. I couldn't get it out of my head."

"What?" Sarah asked.

"His shoes," Sherlock said.

"What about them?" Sarah said.

"They weren't there. I made a fuss. I tried to get the police interested. But nobody seemed to think it was important. He'd left all the rest of his clothes in his locker. But there was no sign of his shoes. Until now."

"So, what are you going to do?" Sarah asked.

"I can't do anything," Sherlock said, "I am here merely as an assistant. Only Jareth can solve it."

"What you can do, Sarah, is stick with John and solve Mycroft's idiotic case," Jareth said.

&%&%&%

After dealing with Mycroft, Sarah found Jareth sprawled out on his chair. "Poison," Jareth said.

"What are you going on about?" John asked.

Jareth explained, "Clostridium botulinum. It's one of the deadliest poisons on the planet. Carl Powers. He suffered from eczema. The poison was introduced into his medication. Two hours later he comes up to London. The poison takes effect, paralyzes the muscles and he drowns. Virtually undetectable. There's still tiny traces of it left inside the trainers from where he put the cream on his feet. That's why they had to go. Sarah, post the answer on your blog."

Sarah rolled her eyes but did it anyway.

&%&%&%

A/N: And Sherlock and John finally make an appearance! I have been holding off on bringing them. 1. Because anticipation makes things better (unless it is waiting for Season 3) 2. I felt like Sherlock and Jareth would just end up consuming each other's roles (which they have, somewhat).