The Almighty Disclaimer

Oh Moffat, Gatiss, and Thompson

Oh Henson and Doyle,

And Pika-la Cynique the generous,

To you belongs all the characters

And none so for me!

A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth..." by Pika-la-Cynique of Girls Next Door fame.

The title of this chapter comes from the poem of the same name by Edna St. Vincent Millay.

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"I'm shocked, shocked to find gambling in this establishment," John quoted dryly as they left the gallery.

"I do not understand that reference," Sherlock said.

"Casablanca. It means that John is not surprised that our bomber is Moriarty," Jareth said.

"Oh," Sherlock said, "If you are going to be sarcastic, do so in a less plebeian way, would you John?"

Sherlock was smacked across the back of his head by Jareth. "Behave, you idiot."

"And after I figured out that idiotic mystery for my brother," Sherlock said.

"The brother-in-law did it, right?" Jareth said.

"I hate you sometimes," Sherlock said, "but then I remember how boring life would be otherwise..." Sherlock held up a flash drive.

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"How long?" Sherlock asked. He was sprawled out on the couch and John was fussing with the tea in the kitchen.

"I should hear something in the next few hours," Jareth said, knowing full well what Sherlock was asking.

"Do you have any idea how... well they are doing?"

"We have not had that pain again, so the goblins are still able to defend the Labyrinth," Jareth said. He tapped his riding crop against his leg, thinking.

"It was always like this, wasn't it? I was just too young to understand before. There were always enemies, weren't there?"

"Never to this scale."

"Even after... even after you lost, you were defending it?"

Jareth was silent.

"And it wasn't just for her. It was for anyone who needed it. You protected the Labyrinth for any of the young who might stumble or be wished-away to it, like how I used to be."

Jareth was quiet for a long time. "You are still quite young, Sherlock. You still believe that there is more out there."

"There is more and you believe that."

"I used to believe that nobody died too."

John handed a cup of tea to Jareth. "We have to leave for our train in a minute. Are you sure it is all right for us to go? Things still aren't settled in the Labyrinth."

"You need to go back to your patients, doctor," Jareth said, "There is nothing else you can do here. None of us are allowed to fight for the Labyrinth. Go. Don't worry about me."

John nodded and went to grab his coat.

"Make sure you send the message," Jareth said in a low tone.

"Already done," Sherlock said, "I should go instead. It was my case."

"You were a child, Sherlock. It never was your case."

Sherlock grabbed his coat and looped a blue scarf around his neck. "She really should have a different password."

"What was it? Password?"

"Much simpler than that," Sherlock said, "It was your name."

With that, Sherlock and John left.

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There were some duties that one did even when one was no longer the Goblin King. One of those things was protecting one's charges during one's reign, be they wished-away or wisher.

Even so, had this not be in place, Jareth was not going to let Sherlock become involved with Moriarty.

"I bought you a little getting-to-know-you present. That's what it's all been for, isn't it? All your little puzzles... making me dance. All to distract me from this," Jareth said, holding up the flash drive.

A door opened. Jareth was ready for anyone or anything.

Except for one.

He was not even able to say her name, only able to mouth the word, "Sarah." She was wearing a large, new parka and had a strange blank look on her face. She did not blink. She did not look at him but only in his general direction.

"Evening. This is a turn-up, isn't it, Jareth? Bet you never saw this coming." Sarah opened up her coat, showing that she was wearing one of those horrible vests and a red laser dot danced across her chest. "What would you like me to make her say next? 'It's a crystal. Nothing more.' 'How have you enjoyed my Labyrinth?' 'Just fear me, love me, do as I say and...'."

"Stop it," Jareth said, regaining his wrath, "Sarah is not yours and you have no right to control her in anyway."

"She isn't yours either, Goblin King," Sarah said, "Nice touch this. This pool. Where little Carl died. I stopped him, I can stop..." Sarah swallowed before continuing to speak. "Sarah Williams, too. Stop her heart."

"You have chosen poorly, whoever you are, to think that using Sarah as a shield would lessen my wrath," Jareth said.

"You forget, Goblin King, you have no pow..." Sarah tried to say the words but her jaw was snapped shut. A look of panic crossed her face as it became obvious that she had no control over her ability to speak anymore.

Jareth grinned. "Such a pity you know so little about magic. Sarah can say those words to me if, and only if, they apply to herself. She cannot say those words for anyone else."

Sarah was able to speak again. "I can see how this girl can turn your world, Goblin King. Nothing works right when she's around. I was planning on this game a little after the cabbie game, but then Sarah Williams, Champion of the Labyrinth, shows up and ruins everything."

"Who are you?" Jareth asked.

A door creaked open. "I gave you my number. I thought you would call." Jim from IT stepped out in a Westwood suit.

Why is he familiar? Why is he so familiar?

"Is that a crystal in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" Jim asked.

Jareth pulled a crystal from out of his jacket pocket. "Oh, both Jim. Or should I say, James Doyle. What has it been? Twenty-two years? I should have realized that once I could not contact the Goblin King that someone with a long-standing grudge was working against the Goblin Kingdom."

Jim placed a hand over his heart in mock shock. "You remembered me? I am stunned. Though, I am often called Jim Moriarty or the Gremlin King nowadays."

"It's not often that a wished-away has their wish taken away," Jareth said, "Is that what this is all about?"

"Oh, no. That's only a small part of it .I've given you a glimpse, Jareth. Just a teensy glimpse of what I've got going on out there in the big bad world. I'm a specialist, you see. Like you."

Jareth smiled. "A consulting criminal. Brilliant."

"Isn't it?" Jim said, obviously pleased with himself, "No one ever gets to me. And no one ever will."

"I did," Jareth said.

"You've come the closest. Now you're in my way, goblin."

Jareth bowed his head. "Thank you."

"Didn't mean it as a compliment."

"Yes, you did."

"Yeah, okay, I did. But the flirting is over. Jareth. Daddy's had enough now. I've shown you what I can do. I cut loose all those people, all those little problems, killed a few goblins, even 30 million quid, just to get you to come out and play. So, take this as a friendly warning, my dear. Back off. Although I have loved this. This little game of ours."

"This isn't a game. This is war. People have died," Jareth said.

"That's what people DO!" Jim shouted the last word.

Jareth did not allow the sudden outburst to effect him though he could tell it surprised Sarah. "I will stop you, James, like I should have when we found out that you were planning on using your wish to kill someone," Jareth said.

"No you won't," Jim said.

Jareth focused his attention on Sarah, realizing the futility of trying to reason with a mad man. "Did he hurt you? Are you all right?" Jareth asked.

Sarah remained silent, biting her lower lip.

"You can talk, princess," Moriarty said, half-whispering in her ear.

Sarah resisted shivering at the closeness between her and Moriarty. "Piece of cake."

"Take it," Jareth said, holding out the flash drive.

"Oh, that? The missile plans," Jim said, taking the flash drive, "Boring. I could have got them anywhere." He tossed the plans into the pool.

Sarah ran forward and held onto Moriarty. "Jareth run!" she shouted.

"Oh, good! Very good! Glad to see you've trained her by now, Jareth," Jim said, "'You have no power over me.' What an absolutely rubbish way to lose your throne. I'm glad you got something out of that mess by now."

"Now listen here, Jimmy. When my brother was taken, I tore apart a kingdom and usurped the Goblin King. He didn't harm my brother. What do you think is going to happen to you, Gremlin King?" Sarah said.

Jim merely nodded towards the consulting detective. Jareth saw by Sarah's face that there was a laser on his person. She immediately let Moriarty go.

Jim brushed off his suit with a look of disgust. "Westwood."

"I noticed. I like the little skulls on your tie. It works for the whole villain mystique," Jareth said.

"By all the powers that be, are you two forgetting I am wearing C-4 not as a fashion statement?" Sarah said.

"She is right," Moriarty said, "It might get a bit messy in here if you don't let me go. Do you know what happens if you don't leave me alone, Jareth? To you?

"Oh, let me guess, I get killed?" Jareth yawned. "How dull."

"Kill you? No, don't be obvious, I mean, I'm going to kill you anyway, someday. I don't want to rush it, though. I'm saving it up for something special. No, no, no, no. If you don't stop prying, I'll burn you. I will burn the heart out of you."

"I have been reliably informed that I don't have one," Jareth said.

Jim walked back towards Sarah. "But we both know that's not quite true. 'Till the world falls down' is quite a promise, Jareth. I can certainly put that to the test for you... Well, I'd better be off. So nice to have had a proper chat after all these years."

Jareth held up his crystal towards Moriarty. "What if I was to end you? Right now?"

"Then you could cherish the look of surprise on my face," Jim made a mock look of surprise. "Cause, I'd be surprised. Jareth. Really, I would. And just a teensy bit disappointed. And of course, you wouldn't be able to cherish it for very long. Ciao, Goblin King." Jim made his way to an exit.

"Catch you, later," Jareth said slowly.

"No, you won't," Jim said in a sing-song voice. He snapped his fingers and then let the door slam behind him as he left.

The former Goblin King and the Champion of the Labyrinth did not move, even when they saw the snipers' lasers were gone. They looked at each other with horror and concern. Jareth slipped the crystal into his jacket pocket and ran towards Sarah, sliding to a stop in front of her.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?" Jareth unzipped the bomb jacket and pulled it off Sarah.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," Sarah said, staggering when Jareth ripped the jacket off and slid it across the tile floor. "Are you hurt?"

Jareth embraced Sarah and let out a sigh of relief. "You're asking me if I'm all right? After you were kidnapped by a mad bomber?" She's so slight. Her heartbeat is strong though.

"He won't kill me... yet. He wants to play with you. Watch you dance and writhe," Sarah said, "He won't kill me unless you can watch and it's slow." Sarah clung to Jareth and breathed in deeply his scent. "I'm really glad no one saw that."

"Wh...why precious?" Jareth asked. My voice needs to stop shaking. Why is she wearing the clothes she ran in?

"You ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk," Sarah said, letting off a desperate laugh.

"People do little else, precious," Jareth said. He took a moment and breathed in the scent of her hair (just plain shampoo and a hint of rose soap on her skin), enjoying the feel of her pressed up against him. "Let's go home. I am worried that he will change his... damn."

Jareth saw the red lasers appear again, only there were several dozen trained on them now. They both turned and the two stood back to back with Jareth facing where Moriarty had left.

"Sorry dearies, I'm so changeable," Moriarty said, strolling back into the room, "It is a weakness with me, but to be fair to myself it is my only weakness. You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't. I would try to convince you. But everything I have to say has already crossed your mind."

"Probably my answer has crossed yours," Jareth said, holding up the crystal.

"Not enough magic to kill me and all my snipers there, Jareth," the Gremlin King said, grinning.

"But there is certainly enough to set off that bomb," Jareth said.

Jim continued grinning. "I double dare you, Jareth, to kill the girl who you twice gave up your kingdom for."

To Be Continued

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A/N: I was not planning on Moriarty being the Gremlin King until I had finished "A Study in Glitter" when I realized that my little jokes about gremlins actually could be a plot point.

This was the second scene that I had planned out (after the healing scene in "A Study in Glitter") though it went through a lot of changes as more plot points became obvious as I wrote this out.

Thank you for reading! Now, onto the next chapter of our dynamic duo in "The Babe with the Power" a.k.a. "A Scandal in Belgravia" which should be out by the beginning of June.