A/N - okay so this is an awful chapter and I considered cutting it out or re-writing it completely, however this story is about character development, it's about 'what is not everything was sunshine and rainbows after the war?' and 'what if Harry wasn't as straight as everyone thought he was'. I'm not going to lie, you may be screaming for some PWP action but trust me, as many agonising PG chapters there are I'll be putting in twice as many hot, sexy, nasty ones. Just tell me if it gets too boring or inbox me some good ideas, I'm open to changing the plot line right now.

Disclaimer - The themes and most characters belong to my queen, JK Rowling, author of the true Harry Potter books.

August 2nd - 10th

A bleary out of focus image. Darkness, cool, darkness, darkness was good. Oh no he was awake again, he was definitely somewhere, and someone was looking down on him grinning. Oh, hello again darkness, so lovely to see you again.

"Finally awake Harry?"

The room coming into focus brought a new meaning to clarity, a bed, white sterile sheets, empty potions vials, a rather intricately charmed window showing a view of the Sahara desert, a surprisingly calming choice, though the blurred image flickered occasionally.

"St Mungo's?" Harry asked his companion warily.

"Good guess, ten points to Gryffindor I think…

You're right better make it twenty…

I know, fifty."

The person was just as blurred to Harry as the charmed window and everything else that side of the room, that's right, his glasses. He groped around for them, knocking over a vial or two before he got them to his face.

"As clumsy as ever…

No I don't think that would work."

Yes it was George, he'd recognized the voice, Harry felt total dismay as he realized the wizard was holding a conversation that was being interjected by someone else, someone not there, Harry only needed one guess as to who that was and felt sick.

"Oh Harry dear!" The door opened and in came Mrs. Weasley, tear stained and holding a filthy handkerchief.

"Look at you, you poor thing, we wanted to find you, we truly did, at least for your birthday…oh blast it all! We were a little distracted, I don't expect you to forgive us."

Harry couldn't help but glance at George, really there was nothing to forgive.

"It's alright Mrs. Weasley I really didn't remember anyway."

"Poor, poor dear!" And she burst into tears, grasping his hand tightly in hers.

"…I know, I thought visiting hours were over too."

The matriarch's sobbing stopped completely.

"Oh I see George has found you." She whispered.

"…She seems to always be forgetting you these days…

Too right!"

"Goodness, I'm sorry Harry."

There was something clearly wrong with George, Harry could tell just by seeing him that he probably wasn't meant to be wandering around the hospital and popping in to see him.

"It's really alright, I understand, and I'm the one who's sorry, will he be alright?"

"Oh yes, it's just the potions they've got him on, to cope, you know, they disorientate him a bit and sometimes he thinks, he thinks that Fred's still here."

By the end of the sentence her voice broke and she began crying again, Harry's throat was officially closed up and he felt very much like joining her. He looked toward George who looked baffled.

"Why are you crying mum? Fred's right here. Tell her Fred!"

The door opened again and in came a mediwitch and a healer.

"So sorry, I can't begin to explain! Sorry, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Weasley, some along now, George, Fred, you'll need to come back to bed now, it's after hours."

George nodded solemnly and allowed the mediwitch to usher him out and away. The healer turned toward the bed.

"Could I have a moment with Mr. Potter?"

Molly, who'd been unable to pull herself back together merely, gave a tight nod before she fled the room after George.

"As you can understand absolute discretion has been used regarding you and you have been registered here under the name Wallowin Ebenezer."

"Um, thanks?" Harry said to the strange Healer. He was a tall man with an air of sophistication, he seemed to know it.

"I don't think we even need to define the cause of your onset depression but your self neglect, was quite frankly the worst I've encountered. This really should have been foreseen, I am appalled that you were left alone with no immediate therapy and consultations, I have fought hard and have been granted your case, I can inform you that you will not be admitted indefinitely."

Harry held his breath, anticipating the "but"

"Of course you can not be left alone in you current state. I've taken the liberty to appoint to you a guardian."

"A what!"

"Harry, doing anything less on my part would be seen as neglect, don't worry we have chosen carefully. She'll be arriving any minute."

"Look, whoever you are, can't I choose my own guardian?"

"I apologize." Said the healer looking at his watch. "I'm healer Dante Everglade, you can call me what ever you choose during our sessions which I'll conduct discretely by Floo every fortnight. As for your guardian, she should be arriving now, if you still wish to change guardians I'm sure she'll be up to discussing it with you."

The door to the room opened for the third time that night and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He would not need to change guardians, he did feel a little guilty taking up the headmistress' time but she didn't seem to mind.

McGonagall's beady eyes took him in and she shook her head.

"I'm happy to see your alive Potter."

"Thank you professor."

"Though it was a narrow miss."

"Yes I'm getting a bit tired of them."

"Finally, some proof of intelligence!" She turned to healer Everglade. "How much longer will you be monitoring him for?"

"Until he is stable, including his magic, it seems he hasn't been using it."

McGonagall pursed her lips.

"Well I'll have you send anything of importance to me via owl, I'm sure Potter will allow me to consult matters privately with Madame Pomfrey?"

Harry nodded.

"Just give me word and I'll send for him to return."

"To where?" As far as Harry knew McGonagall didn't have a real home outside of Hogwarts.

"To the school Harry, back to Hogwarts."

He couldn't help it; he hadn't done it in months, and perhaps in over a year but hearing that just made him smile.

They'd let him rest after that, all afternoon then all night, the next morning he'd thought he'd be lying around in boredom forever until a mediwizard came in wearing a toothy grin.

"Hello Mr. Ebenezer healer Everglade sent me in, how are you?"

Harry shrugged. It turned out he'd be doing daily physical and magical exercises until everything stabilized.

"What's your name anyway?"

Harry asked twenty minutes into a training mirage.

"My name's Rhys love, not to worry I'll just be calling you Wallowin like everybody else."

Rhys had a Welsh accent and Harry found himself getting along with him.

"What are these spells?" Harry panted into his workout that had caused him to sweat.

The spells in question were a series of illusion spells that took him through various settings, including a recreational room where there was a mechanical broom and goblin-dummies that chased him and engaged him in combat.

"These are a series of chimeriation charms, are you feeling all right?"

Harry nodded as he shakily lunged away from another goblin attack.

"I was told you shouldn't be pushed too far, not only is it your first day but you look all skin and bone."

Harry laughed, in truth he was feeling light headed again but he'd eaten a hearty dinner and filling breakfast that had restored an unnatural amount of strength, he was enjoying the movement. The attack stopped and suddenly he found himself unsteady.

"Alright, we're done here or else Dante will have my head."

The recreation hall faded back into the hospital room and Rhys began scribbling notes down on some parchment with a lime-green quill that matched his robes.

"You should probably wash off before your session with Dante, you know the shower's through there right? And it looks as though you have some visitors so you best get to it."

Rhys flashed him another grin and a wink before he headed out the door. Before it closed Harry recognized a flash of red hair and bushy brown, he would be taking a shower and not a short one.

By the time he got out he decided not to be angry with his friends, a decision helped by the morning tea set out for him when he came back into the room. With a sigh he called for them to come in.

In a frenzy Hermione burst through the door and over to him, embracing him tightly.

"I'm so sorry Harry! I know this is the last place you want to be but after you fainted there was nothing else we could do!"

"It's alright 'mione, I don't care, actually you probably saved my life so I do care a bit, thank you."

She pulled back to look at him curiously.

"What potions have they got you on?"

"They haven't given me any."

"Yes they have, what do you think they cook all this with?"

She pointed to the pile of buttermilk pancakes topped with fruit and sided with hash browns and ham. Tenderly she picked up a pancake and sniffed it.

"Ron, taste this."

Ron looked at her scandalized.

"It's alright with me." Harry laughed

"Alright I'll try it myself." Hermione took a bite and put it back.

"Strange." She muttered.

"Harry I don't know what's gotten into her, she hasn't been home much…"

"They're only giving you the standard nourishing potions and magic stabilizers."

"So?" Harry asked, beginning on the food before it cooled.

"I thought they'd have you on a calming draught but that has a distinct citrus taste and lemony smell."

"I don't care, I don't need a calming draught."

"Exactly! That's so unlike you."

She scrutinized his face suspicion clear in her eyes; Harry cracked a smile at her and shoved a hash brown in his mouth, Ron shook his head and sat down beside him, after a few seconds they were all bursting with laughter, relief on the part of Ron and Hermione and amusement from Harry.

After he ate they all went and saw George who was still under the delirium of potions, Harry decided to not acknowledge "Fred" it seemed wrong to him. Instead he spoke straight to the living brother until they got into conversation that didn't need to be interjected. Eventually Ron and Hermione left for work and Arthur swung by. He looked dreadful, thin and pale, balder then ever; Harry would have put it down to the grief that had worn away at Mrs. Weasley had it not been for a distinct limp and shortness of breath, they couldn't hold much conversation without the ageing man needing to cough into his sleeve. Eventually Harry had to leave to see healer Everglade.

Five days in Mungo's saw Harry forming routine. By far Harry's favorite times was his morning physical therapy with Rhys, the mediwizard had found he responded best to flying and had created a chimeriation that simulated Quidditch games.

After his first session with Dante the healer had put him on some extra potions, a weak draught of peace and sleep solution to ensure he was under no stress whilst his magical and physical strength replenished. The healer had dedicated the whole first session to drilling in that his mental state was in a whole different category and no potion or charm could give it a boost, Harry would need to start the process himself, after that each day they simply discussed the mundane, was he eating? Who visited? What do you think the weather in London is like? It was safe but Harry knew it wouldn't last.

On his fifth day George was off his potions; Harry understood he was taking a great deal including Draught of Peace, Elixir to induce Euphoria, Forgetfulness potion, Invigoration Draught as well as cheering charms and an induced chimeriation. Without it all the young man became catatonic and the only people who could bear to see him were himself and Mr. Weasley, or so he'd thought, today whilst he sat and chatted to George's still form, telling him about Ron and Hermione's small bonding ceremony, Mr. Weasley was no where in sight.

He described everything in detail.

"It was only a month after the war on the beach at Bill and Fleaur's seashell cottage, everyone was thinking they were too young, but no one was going to say it after what they'd been through. Hermione had looked beautiful, her parents Ed and Jean were there, although they were still confused and in the process of regaining their memories. Ron had never been so happy, before Hermione came down from the house I'd leant in toward him and asked if he realized dating was the usual protocol. Ron, he just looked back at me cheerfully and said they'd been practically married for eight years this just made it official."

George had been in Mungo's already, Ginny had been there though, Harry didn't know why but he hadn't spoken to her and he hadn't seen her afterwards, it just didn't seem like such a big deal.

Finally George closed his eyes and Harry took it as his time to leave. Heading back to his floor he found himself passing the consultation rooms, as he did so the door to one opened and Arthur Weasley came out coughing into his sleeve.

He stopped, looking quite startled as he recognized Harry. They were quite alone in the after-hours halls standing in dimmed light. Arthur had never looked so decrepit and tired to Harry, he was stooped over and breathing heavily.

"Are you alright Mr. Weasley?" He asked uncertainly.

"Oh yes, I suppose you caught me, I've been having check ups."

Harry swallowed thickly, dread creeping up his spine.

"Do you mind if I ask what for?"

Arthur didn't even try to hide the wince that came across his face.

"Erm, no it well it seems that a small portion of that snake of you-know-who's venom was still in my system after it got me that one time. The healers have done a very good job, you see the venom can't be removed so they've isolated it and stopped any blood flow to the area."

Arthur Weasley lifted up his trouser leg and showed a horribly swollen ankle.

"Will you be alright?" Harry asked and Arthur gave him an affectionate smile.

"Well you know, some damage has been done, none to my magic thank the stars, physically things have been better though."

"I'm-"

"Don't go apologizing Harry, you've been doing far to much of that lately, it's all alright, actually it's brought Percy back to us which is more than I could have hoped for."

The older man's eyes misted over.

"D-do you know, he's stepping up and training to take over as head of the department of muggle artifacts? Can you believe it? And he could have trained anywhere else!"

Mr. Weasley was grinning, though he was still choked up.

"But does that mean you're stepping down?" Harry asked, wandering what could take the old Weasley away from the job he loved so much.

"I've been offered another job actually, I'm unable to get out much anymore and the actual tracking down of the artifacts is where all the fun is so I'm becoming the new muggle studies professor."

"That's brilliant!" Harry cried, earning him a glare from a passing healer, Mr. Weasley chuckled.

"Yes, so I suppose we will be seeing each other, I have been going to night lessons these last months but I don't have much more to learn, I already have NEWTS and BATS in muggle studies so it's all just class planning and other tosh."

"They couldn't have picked anyone better."

"Thank you, anyway I have to get going, and about what I've told you, Molly doesn't need to know."

"I understand, see you."

He was happy for Mr. Weasley and glad there would be someone he knew at Hogwarts, it was a harrowing thought that none of his old classmates might return, there was little reason for them to with the ministry offering entry levels in most departments for those who were in the battle. Surely Hermione would go back, he'd have to ask her. Probably Ginny wouldn't if she was with the Harpies now, Harry's heart sank there didn't seem to be any relationship left between them.

The next day went by as habitually as ever, Harry ending it by heading towards George's room.

"Hey mate!"

He looked up to see Ron standing outside and smiled at him. His red headed friend stopped and looked a little surprised.

"It's strange seeing you smile so much!"

He exclaimed smiling back.

"Hey Ron, Hermione's interning at the ministry right?"

"Yeah with the department of magical law, don't know why though, it's a boring choice, plus she keeps wanting to bring in ELF and SPEW stuff, she wont listen to me for much longer."

"So she isn't going back to Hogwarts?"

"Oh yeah she has to, I mean they expect her to get her NEWTS or else she wont be able to get very far, plus I'm fine looking after the house."

"The house?" Ron's ears went vermillion.

"Well sure, I mean you do remember the ceremony?"

"Of course I remember I was your best man."

"Well it isn't as if we could just move in with mum and dad, we spent some time with Jean and Ed, you know so Hermione could help them with their memories and things but, we're married now."

"So you got a house?"

"Um…"

Harry pushed aside his conflicted feelings and grinned.

"That's brilliant!" He hugged his friend who was still struggling for words.

"I'll have to come and see it, how did you afford it?"

"Well obviously I got a job."

Harry let go of him.

"At the ministry?"

"The Auror department, Kingsley's let some of us in without NEWTS, we still have to pass the examinations but they help us get there, it's the greatest job ever, I actually get paid for doing basically what we've done since first year. You'll join up too wont you?"

Harry gave him a warm smile.

"Of course I will, just not straight away."

"Brilliant, we need someone like you, a leader you know. Seamus got in somehow, no idea and well I suppose you've got to meet the rest of them but we're none of us any good at being in charge."

"I look forward to it."

"So you'll be at Hogwarts then?"

"Looks like it."

"But you're not studying?"

"It doesn't look like I need to."

"Do you know what McGonagall will have you doing?"

Harry went to shrug but George's door opened and they were both distracted by Charlie storming out looking as pale as a sheet.

He looked at the boys each in turn, he opened his mouth to say something but he changed his mind. Shaking his head he walked off.

"Is he okay?" Harry asked Ron

"Oh yeah, I'd forgot for a moment."

"Forgot what?"

"George." Ron said and Harry understood. It turned out they hadn't put him back on the potions and charms, it seemed he wanted to stay lucid.

"I can go in." Harry suggested.

"You don't have to."

"I won't if you think it will make things worse."

"Actually he seems to like you the most right now. Says you talk to him when he's off the potions."

"I wasn't sure if he'd remember."

Ron shrugged. Harry nodded and approached the room, as he was going through the door he realized Ron was coming in after him.

The room was dark; the enchantment on the window was taken off completely showing a bare wall behind the frame. Curled up on the bed was George, completely catatonic and staring at nothing in particular. Harry walked over and took the seat beside him, pushing the other out to Ron.

"Hi George." He said, trying to make his voice sound normal. He didn't expect him to respond but George's eyes moved over to look at him, and after a moment he responded.

"Good to see you again Harry."

"Yeah no problem."

"Charlie around?"

"I'm pretty sure he left."

George stayed quiet, contemplating the information.

"Yeah not surprised."

The statement wasn't bitter, only weary and slow like everything George was saying.

"Angelina was meant to come today." He stated after another silence.

"I've been seeing her around, she was here Monday wasn't she?"

George nodded.

"I got them to Floo her and ask her not to come, I didn't think I'd want to see anyone."

"Have you changed your mind?"

George shrugged.

"I suppose, but she'll come tomorrow to see me anyway and I don't think I'll be going back on the potions before then."

"But what about the charms?" Ron asked sounding a little worried.

"No I don't want any more cheering charms either Ron."

Ron was looking even more alarmed.

"What do you talk about with Angelina?" Harry asked George, steering away from medical talk. George pierced him with a look.

"Blast ended skrewts." He said sarcastically and Harry's heart sank. Of course he knew what, or whom they'd be talking about, he felt like an idiot.

"That was a joke." George said. "You're meant to laugh."

The room lit up a bit as the door opened and Molly came in with a sad smile on her face.

"I heard you talking?" She said, timidly walking over, hope toning her words.

"Yeah mum, I thought I should try it out again."

Mrs. Weasley came over and took his hand, squeezing it tightly.

George didn't seem up for much more talking; they sat in silence for a while longer until Harry decided it was best he leave as visiting hours were drawing to a close anyway.

Exiting the room he saw Charlie had returned, he was talking to Arthur a little way down the corridor, as they didn't notice him Harry walked on and went back to his room.

Everglade had him learning and working on some advanced Defense, Transfiguration and Charms work, it was meant to expend his magic that had been left to rot so it could replenish and become stronger and more under his control. He actually enjoyed it there was no structure or restraint on what he did, he'd even managed to transfigure three Shetland ponies out of Everglade's office chairs, the healer had quite a library of tomes and editions, some of which were quite rare, as his top priority patient Harry was allowed to take any back with him to study closer. Often he sat up at night, pouring over them and practicing on what ever he could. Unfortunately it wasn't all fun as part of healing his mind Everglade had Harry doing breathing and mind-clearing exercises that took him back to his occlumency days and a pleather of unpleasant memories.

He couldn't put them off forever and eight days in he decided to do the stupid meditation and incantations, slowing his breath and concentrating as he softly spoke he chants.

Regressing into his own mind reminded him he was alone. He never had to worry that Voldemort would sneakily creep back because they'd been connected and he would be able to feel it. It was the most calming thing about these sessions and the main reason he actually did them.

All of a sudden thoughts erupted into his mind, he had been getting good at keeping his mind blank but what was more was that these were no ordinary thoughts, they were horrific images of the war. Dumbledore being taken down by Snape, blasted out the window of the Astronomy Tower, Snape lying bleeding as pensive memories seeped from his eyes, the ghost of Lupin, Fenrir Greyback attacking students, Narcissa whispering into his ear, the Malfoy manor, Hermione's screams, Dobby dying in his arms.

He scrambled to his feet, panicked he paced around the room, if Voldemort was back, what could he do? They'd given him his wand back; he could just Arvada Kedavra himself, would that work? Fortunately his common sense returned to him and he realized exactly where the thoughts had come from, they were his own, they were just memories he'd been keeping repressed. With a sigh he sunk down onto his bed.

"I can't believe I was considering trying to Arvada Kedavra myself." He muttered to no one in particular, and then he chuckled.

"I'm going mad." He stated, crawling under the covers.

"Oh well, I'm in the right place for it."

He had wanted to go to sleep then but the slightly disturbing images had subsided and an even worse form of memory began. He remembered the first time he met Dobby, the pair of tennis ball eyes peering out from the shrubbery in Privet Drive. What an odd day that had been, a creature he'd never known to exist had begun stealing his mail and telling him he couldn't go back to Hogwarts. How on earth had a friendship grown out of that? Who would have known the little Elf would become something so indescribable, something so important. He still had those socks somewhere, the socks Dobby had knitted for him for Christmas, he'd never get anything else from him, and he'd never actually given him a real present in return. Dobby had deserved a real present, if anyone did.