Hey guys, welcome back! I know that there has been some time that has passed since I last updated this story and I would like to apologise wholeheartedly for that. I know you don't want to hear any excuses but I have had a lot going on with life which has prevented me on working on all of my stories not just this one. I do want to advise (like I have done with every story I have posted recently) that I have evaluated everything on my fanfiction page recently and I think the plan that I had in place initially wasn't working (where I work on stories between my main story) I feel if anything this has put me into a writing block rather than helping me complete chapters and stories. So, at the moment I am going going to post whenever and whatever I like and in no particular order (as I did have a particular order in my mind). So, with this in mind I am going to post the chapters that I currently have ready, however within connection to this story I only had the only chapter that had already been posted on my Fanfiction page. So with this being said I am working on some chapters for this story, however only this chapter is ready. So I decided rather than wait and keep this chapter waiting I decided to post it. I can't wait for you to see what twists and turns I have in store for you. I hope you enjoy reading this story, I really can't wait to see what you think.

I also some of you may not read this, but as you have come to learn by me now I always want to explain what I am doing. I just felt like I was being held hostage by time and struggling to find time to finish chapters and stories. I hope you all understand, much love RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

*Mal's POV*

It was the eighteenth of July which meant one thing, it was four years to the day that I left my life in Auradon. And to be honest it still broke my heart that I had to make that decision every single day that I was away from Ben and my family. I know that they are still looking for me, and no doubt probably would continue to keep looking for me. This thought was something that I did struggle with, knowing that they were looking for me and I couldn't make myself known to them. I didn't know what they were thinking, I left Auradon so abruptly and I had my reasons for doing so. I know that Ben or my family knows these reasons, and I don't think they can ever know why I left.

This broke me completely, I knew that Ben was and would always be my soul mate. And I knew that it was hurting him just as much as it was hurting me. I still think about the life that I had had before I had to leave, but unfortunately my memories were starting to fade and going black, white and grey. And I was currently clinging onto them but I didn't know how long I was going to be able to keep clinging onto them, sadly.

When my mind went onto Ben I couldn't help but think what he probably thought was the reasoning for me leaving. We had had many conversations about me struggling with his royal lifestyle, and this was true! I was struggling with it, but I felt I was getting better at it. And I knew if I had been afforded more time to live in Auradon then I would have been able to deal with the royal lifestyle and I would have a wonderful life with Ben and our families. I know Ben, I know that he would be racking his brain as to why I left. But I know that the real reason why I actually left isn't anywhere on his radar.

Things were going so well leading up to me leaving, heck! The week before I left it was mine and Ben's second anniversary and it was a very special time for us for many reasons. Of course, the first reason was that it was our second anniversary, but after we had a perfect at the Enchanted Lake we retired back to Auradon Castle and we both lost our virginities to each other. We had talked a lot beforehand, and at the time it was we both wanted. It was such a profound moment for me, I never thought that I would find someone who wanted to be with me like that for other reasons that just sex. Ben loved me, he wanted to get to know me and be with me wholeheartedly. He didn't just sleep with me because he saw me as a piece of meat or someone who he wanted to get underneath.

However something came to light shortly after that that I couldn't ignore, I felt like I was in a pressure cooker. It just kept getting worse and worse, and I know leading up to me leaving my behaviour was worrying Ben and our families. He asked me countless times what was wrong, but I couldn't find the words. And this was hard for me, and me and Ben were always good at talking to each other so I felt the stress and the pressure at the fact that I couldn't talk to him about this. He tried everything to try and get me to open up to him, however everything she he tried didn't work. And it hurt me to see Ben like that, however it only got worse between me and Ben.

There was even a time when me and Ben talked and he asked whether why my cold and distance behaviour was due to the fact that I had regretted sleeping with him. Of course I dismissed this, I never regretted sleeping with Ben. However after he left I started mentally kicking myself that I had acted in a way that made Ben feel like that. Ben hadn't done anything wrong! Heck! I hadn't done anything wrong! But I still found myself in this situation.

Unfortunately for me the situation got too much for me and something happened which caused me to need to leave. And when I came to that decision it broke me, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay with Ben and our families, but it wasn't an option anymore. I couldn't stay with the people that I loved, I couldn't say goodbye. And I think that it was a hard situation for everyone involved.

So when I came to this decision I skipped class and went to my dorm, I knew that I was going to be able to leave as everyone else was already in class. I quickly packed my bags, wrote both Evie and Ben a letter but I didn't tell them everything. In fact I lied and told them both that I needed a break, that I needed some time away. I tried to lighten my letters, however I knew that it didn't matter what I put in those letters it was going to hurt them. When I was about to leave my dorm my eyes landed on my left hand and noticed my promise ring and Ben's signet ring, I decided there and then that I had to leave them. I didn't want to and I knew how it was going to look to Ben me leaving them but it didn't feel right me taking them with me. Me leaving the way I did was going to hurt him, and he might not have wanted to have anything to do with me. And even though it was my fault, if Ben didn't want anything to do with me then this was something that I was going to have to deal with.

The aftermath of me leaving was a whirlwind, and it still was. Ben was relentless in looking for me, especially after I first left. He put out press releases and he travelled over the whole Kingdom numerous times, and he was still doing that. It was hard to see how he had changed over the years, and there was even a time when his father had to act as regent. Ben was so focused on finding me that he wasn't doing any of his work as King. There was even rumours at one point that the Royal Council were even going to put in a vote of no confidence. I don't know what changed in Ben, but all of a sudden Ben started doing his royal duties but it was a slow increase until what he was doing today. However he was still not giving up the search for me.

I can't believe that it had been four years since I had left Auradon, and even though the only thing I wanted to do was to go back I couldn't. I was still filled with a mixture of emotions, I just felt so unsettled and I had been feeling this way since I left. Part of me knew that in the long run Ben or someone would find me, and when and if that ever happens I don't know how I was going to deal with it. It was going to open a whole can of worms and that is going to be a very, very big deal.

"Mommy?" I heard which broke me out of my train of thought which made me turn to look over at my three year old son. He gave me a cheeky smile which made me smile back at him, yes I was facing hardships right now but he was worth it. I had to protect my son, and this is what I fully intended to do.