100 One Shot challenge!
Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime just using the characters for entertainment purposes.
Title: Dear dad…
Summary: Akira for the first time opened up to her father. Some little secrets aren't little at all.
Genre: Family/Tragedy/Humor/Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 1,990
Story no.: 20
I'm currently at my office waiting for the word from the another village if the mission goes wrong it could cause ninja wars and being the man that I am, I don't want war anymore. I lost the one I love at the last war caused by the stubborn pride of my father at that time I was only a mere ninja I wouldn't thought I would be the head of the clan after all I am the third child of the family but they said that the war gave me a shot. I've never wanted all the glory I wanted my wife alive. So I'll do everything just to avoid the war breaking out and that is through an assassination mission. I sent Akira there, she's a big girl she can handle herself enough. She's the best and I trust her. I know the fact she might not come back alive. I just didn't think enough what I would do if she died on that mission…
The word came out and the key players who wanted war are dead. I was relieved but not happy… I waited for the news to carry on. I waited for them to tell me about Akira.
"Okuzaki is currently missing. Orochi and her are fighting near the cliff, Okuzaki gave Orochi a final blow to the heart which let him meet his end but then her wounds are deep… she fainted and fell unto the cliff"
I don't know what to feel "How many days have you been searching?" I asked I shouldn't be surprised she's dead I told myself but I can feel my heart pumping faster and faster. "About a month the elders doesn't want to alert you about the news because they don't want you to know about Okuzaki's disappearance. They would not want to upset you" I could see that my men were reading my face I didn't waver. I didn't cry, shouted not frown. I just look at them. "But don't worry Hirozawa-sama we will continue our rescue search with more men" They all look at me clearly sorry about what happened. They didn't dare to say to me that Akira's dead but I know. I'm sure Akira won't want any special treatments even at the last moment.
"It's been one month already organize the funeral tomorrow. She's gone. I'll declare her KIA (killed-in-action)" I said casually as if I am asking for a tea. As the leader of the clan I must not show any fixation even if it's my own daughter. Ninjas die all the time. Sacrifice is a must for the greater good. "You are now dismissed" they all looked dazed; it seems like they are all unwilling to declare Akira a KIA. If she knows about this she will be pleased that the clan is recognizing her and they all think she's a loss. I think so too but no one will know. I took a sip of my sake and watch them all leave all dazed by my decision.
The funeral was formal. She was buried beside her mother. The elders after the funeral decided to have a talk with me asking me to find a wife and bear a new heir. I am not in the mood to speak with them so I said I would think about it, if that will shut them up.
My only daughter is gone. I don't know how to react. It's been days since the funeral and the maids asked me what to do with her things and room, I asked them that I'll be the one to dispose her things then I remembered I don't know her room and asked for directions.
Akira's room is simple; bed, desks, cabinets and books. I opened her cabinet and saw a couple of attire. Very simple, nothing colorful; I simply packed it in the box this is the least I could do for her. When I am emptying her closet I find something odd. The last part of her drawer is empty when I run my hands to find something I found a handle. I smirked that's my girl. I pulled the handle only to hold a rather big box. I opened it, I know I am invading her privacy. I just have to know. I gulped all my principles down because I am curious what something important was hidden that she has to use a secret compartment?
Akira, she never disobeyed me not even once. When I asked her to disguise as a boy she never asked any questions and complied needlessly. I opened the box and saw drawing tools. I saw numerous sketches of a boy… I think this answers the question of who is her most precious person. She's good at art I see, like her mother... I frowned as I remembered the days were she sketches me while I was asleep but I just found out about her odd hobby when she died.
Then I saw a dead Lilly with a white ribbon in it "Is it the flower when her mother died?" I asked voicing my thoughts. I saw another dead cherry blossom, a picture of her and the boy in the sketch, a mirror, a chocolate candy, a pink box which is taking all the space in the box and two letters…
I read what's written on the letter; it reads
To: Mr. Okuzaki Hirozawa
Fr: Okuzaki Akira
It's for me … I opened the letter there's a small sticky note on the side
If you are reading this I may be gone in this world.
Please give this letter to my father.
I honestly don't know what to think with that note… But I wanted to know what's inside her head. What she wanted to say to me.
Mr. Okuzaki Hirozawa.
First of all I wanted to apologize that I cannot tell you all of these things in person. I've never had the courage to tell you when I'm still alive but for once I wanted to be normal. I wanted to tell you many things just like the others but I guess we never reached out to each other. It feels like we live in two different worlds. You don't even know my room; I don't hold a grudge over that. I know mother's death was very hard for you. … and some parents can hate their own children. After all I still mourn for mother's death, I can't take it that I didn't send her off. Before I vanish to your memory I just wanted to confess a few things…
When I read the first part I don't know what to think. But then again who am I to complain that I have to know her feelings this way, I never reached out to her.
There are 10 things you must know about me. Before proceeding I just wanted you to know that. I regret nothing of all I've done but I'm sorry... After reading the letter you might curse on my tombstone and think that I am a bad child.
1. Did you know that you are so strict; a parent like you makes sneaky kid like I am. Let me give you one of my sneaky deeds, when you locked me up to punish me when I lost to the hime war? I escaped to fight, to avenge my most precious person and to regain my honor for losing. Then I came back tying myself again and waited for you to untie me…
2. I hate talking to you… I'm sorry but I seriously hate talking to you. A simple conversation turns into a horrible one. It's so hard to talk to you. When you glare at me, hiss at me I don't know what your problem is at all.
3. I'm sorry that I never satisfied you.
4. I… the marriage interview? I didn't go. I asked my other ex-hime Nao to take my place and pretend to be me. While I went to date with Takumi, I had fun. I was so happy that I don't want to go back and go to missions. I just wanted to stay with him. He never forces me to tell him anything, he never talks about what I don't want to talk about. We are happy, I learned to endure not only in physical but also in emotional because of him. Because of him my heart didn't die. What I wanted to say is… Someone who doesn't cry cannot go to heaven, I wonder if I would go to heaven or hell… If I do go to heaven it would not be heaven without him…
5. I know you would really be disappointed with me but before the hime war someone knew that I am not a boy. My roommate, my most precious person… Your right I could've won the war if it was you who's my important person. I tend to let my guard down around him. I just wanted to tell you that he returned my feelings and I'm happy wherever I am. I don't see the sense of telling you all of this… I was happy but what hurt me the most is its not you who makes me smile.
6. My hobby is sketching him… You know who, I know, I must be crazy; but what I should do I might be dead tomorrow on the mission. I just wanted to prove that I am not as robotic as everyone think of me. I may be as crazy as everyone.
7. I think I'm obsessed with Takumi. I just can't get him off my mind if I would be reborn I wanted to be born beside him, where I could protect him all my life. That could make my life worthwhile because I didn't protect him enough in this lifetime that's one of my regrets.
8. If you asked the maid to tidy up my things please make sure that the pink box and the letter would reach him… You should've known my private account right? Transfer the half of it in Takumi's and please don't let him know it and the half for the St. Gabriel basilica kids' foundation. Takumi and I often go there and play with the kids. When I told him I felt like a bad person when I told him about my first kill he decided to bring me there for some reasons after the visit I just feel very refreshed and more cheerful…
9. I… I didn't die a virgin… I lost it to him. I'm sorry I know I have disgraced myself. The truth is I just lost it now before doing this letter I was at his house. I didn't know how to tell him that I won't be coming back anymore. I left him there sleeping but I thought that it's better this way… I wasn't as fearless as you think I would be. My favorite color is pink…
10. Did you know that when I thought I was going to die you are the one who first entered my mind, I thought if I followed you and didn't interacted with anyone would everything be better? And that was when I realized that I have always loved you…
I love you, Hirozawa-sama even if I don't exactly know if you return it. I couldn't even call you father because I honestly don't feel that your blood resides in mine… You are scolding me in my mind. I hate it that you are always right. There comes a stage in my life where I wanted to make decisions even if I know they are wrong just to feel like myself. I did lost… But I don't regret it. Take care…
As I finished reading her letter I cried, so hard… First I was so angry at her for doing such things but I have a greater sin because I didn't even become a father to her. I was so selfish we are both grieving for the lost of her mother but I only thought about myself. I am angry at Akira for only waking me up now but at the same time thankful because she still considers me as her father by telling me all her secrets. I grabbed the box and the other letter which I assumed is for him and walked out the door ordering my men to have a search for Akira again… Not as a kunoichi but as my daughter.
END