A/N: As usual, I apologize for the long wait between updates. I know that I say all the time that I am notoriously slow with updates, and I am holding true to my word so far. The good news is that I had most of the next chapter written already, it was one of the first I did, although it is rather short. At the end of this chapter House brings up a point that I think some people may already be thinking about with regards to this story, and I want to reiterate that this story is NOT going in that direction, so while it is classified as triggering, it's not going to be that kind of story. Having said that, there are triggering bits in this chapter as well, although not as bad as last chapter I think.

Also, I have not given up on I Hope You Dance, but to say it again, it's stuck in my head and not coming out...

Lastly, I don't own any of the characters except for Emily, so don't ask to buy them!

Emily was pacing her run while listening to a new playlist on her iPod. She had nearly completed her ninth mile when she looked over at the children's playground area. It was mid-morning and this particular early fall Sunday's weather was particularly nice, so there were many young children playing with their mothers and fathers watching from nearby. She continued to observe the happy families until she spotted a familiar woman sitting on a bench watching a group of young children. She practically tripped over her own feet at that point. Lisa was sitting relaxed on the bench enjoying the morning sun. She almost didn't recognize her. Rather than her hair having its slight wave, it cascaded across her shoulders in small rings playfully. She had no idea that the other woman's hair was actually curly and this made her smile. The more she learned about her, the harder she fell for her.

She pulled her ear buds out as she neared the park bench. She was certainly nothing worth looking at right then being all sweaty, but she felt compelled to stop and say hi. She took a long swig from her water bottle before approaching the bench and sitting down next to Lisa. "Hey, you," she said.

Surprised, Lisa turned towards her. "Hi," she said with a warm smile. "I didn't think I would run into you here."

Emily smiled back. "I only live about half a mile away. I try to come here every day for a run. I don't always make it, but I do try. I didn't know you came here too." She thought for a second. "I guess since you work on campus it makes sense though."

Lisa looked over at the playground for a moment while processing what Emily had just said. She considered the idea of going for a run daily. She used to run. It would certainly help her get in shape if she did more exercise. After spotting Rachel running in circles with another young girl she looked back towards Emily. "When the weather is nice I bring Rachel here to play. She loves it."

"I bet she does. Where is she?" Emily was eager to meet Rachel. She had heard about her from Lisa and she had had the one brief conversation on the phone, but that was a far cry from meeting her in person.

Lisa pointed out a young girl wearing a blue sweater and jeans now over by the swings. "Looks like she's trying to do the 'Swing Superman' again", Lisa commented. "The last time she did that she ended up doing a face plant on the wood chips." Noticing Emily's look of alarm, she added, "It was nothing serious, I'm just surprised she's trying it again is all".

The two women sat watching the children play for a few moments in silence and before long Rachel was running back towards her mother. "Mommmeeeeeeeeeee" she squealed as she dashed along the grass with her dark hair bouncing on her back behind her. Lisa stood up as her daughter neared and Emily followed.

When Rachel reached her mother she positioned herself behind Lisa, using her leg as a shield from the stranger even though it was clear that she was curious about the blonde. Lisa turned around and kneeled down to be face to face with Rachel. "Rach, this is my friend Emily. Emily, this is my daughter Rachel," she introduced.

Rachel took a step out from behind her mother, although she still held onto her leg with a death grip. "Hi Emlee," she said hesitantly. "Do you like the monkey bars?" she suddenly asked boldly.

Emily smiled. "They are my favorite part of the playground! Do you like the monkey bars?"

"Yeah! I love them but sometimes I need help. Wanna go play?" Emily glanced at Lisa, and after getting the ok, the duo made their way over to the monkey bars to go have some fun.

As Lisa watched the two play she felt a stirring inside herself. She lifted Emily's water bottle up from the bench next to her and opened it to take a sip. It smelled faintly of coffee, cigarettes, and peppermint gum. A smile crossed her lips. Is this what happiness feels like, she wondered? If so, she could get used to it.

Lisa saw Rachel running back towards her, once again shouting, "Mommeeeeeeee!" as she ran. After reaching her destination, she continued, slightly out of breath. "Mommy, Emily wants to know if we can all go get ice cream! Please?"

Lisa chuckled, all her attention on Rachel. "She does, now, does she?"

"Yes, Mommy." Lisa looked up to the other woman for a moment. Emily put her hands in front of her as if to say 'I have nothing to do with this'. "Wellll, I think that would be just fine as long as she still wants to come with us?" She once again looked at Emily who gave a shy grin.

"Sounds like a plan," Emily confirmed.

As they sat at the table at the ice cream shop, Rachel was happily eating spoonfuls of bright blue cotton candy flavored ice cream while Lisa and Emily were enjoying coffees. Out of nowhere, a blue spoonful of ice cream came headed straight for Lisa's mouth. "Here Mommy," Rachel said, before getting the majority of the spoonful in her nose rather than her mouth. Emily tried her best to stifle her laughter, but it was no use.

"Rachel, you know better than that," Lisa admonished while wiping the blue mess off of her face. Rachel simply giggled and apologized.

Noticing a small spot of blue still on her friend's cheek, Emily leaned over the table and wiped it off with her finger, allowing the rest of her fingers to trail along Lisa's jawline. Neither woman breathed for a moment, nor did they bring any attention to what had just transpired as they settled back into the comfortable rhythm they had had all afternoon.

Nobody noticed the tall man with a cane standing across the street watching.

She paced around the room trying to distract herself from the gnawing feeling of her hunger. She was so hungry. I shouldn't be hungry right now, she thought to herself. I've already eaten enough today. There is no reason to be hungry. She thought back to starting her day with the eggs and toast with Rachel before school. They were going to be late, no time to do anything about having eaten so much. Lunch meeting with the board. More food there, no way to get rid of that meal either. "Stupid and weak. Weak and stupid," she mumbled to herself. "Go to sleep and it'll be better in the morning," she told herself.

She sighed loudly and wrapped her arms around herself. Her heart sped up and panic overtook her when the outline of her ribs that she had started to notice recently wasn't there. A moment later she realized that she wouldn't be able to feel the bones through the thick sweatshirt she wore. A hand snaked its way under the clothing to the bare skin where her ice cold fingers were relieved to feel the warm ridges. There was little reassurance, however, because she was sure that those grooves were shallower than they had been that morning. Absolutely sure.

She had an idea. Emily could distract her. Spending time with the younger woman always filled her with a sense of peace as well as happiness. She grabbed the phone from the end table and made the call. She was met with Emily's voicemail. Defeated, she curled up on the couch. A few minutes later she tried the number a second time, again getting the voicemail. This time she left a message asking her friend to come over if she got the message.

She stood up and began to pace again, finally ending up facing the wall. "No, no, no". She let a few tears fall down her face as her forehead rested on the cool surface. She felt her willpower to resist ebb away until, finally, she caved.

She almost missed the sound of the knocking on the front door in the same way that she had missed the sound of her phone ringing, but she didn't. A wave of panic swept through her. This was bad, very bad. Her thoughts were a garbled mess as she slowly walked to the door and opened it to let her guest in.

The sight Emily saw as the front door opened nearly brought tears to her eyes. Lisa looked so distraught. The woman's hands were shaking badly she knew anything she tried to pick up would be dropped, and her eyes were swollen and red from crying. "Lisa," she whispered, reaching a hand out to her friend.

Abruptly, Lisa backed away from the touch. "Don't." She immediately heard the harsh tone of her voice and pleaded more gently, "Please."

Emily let her hand fall back to her side. "Lisa, let me help you. What's wrong?"

Lisa's trembling hands slowly made their way up to her face to wipe away a few stray tears. She began to shake her head while opening and closing her mouth a few times in an attempt to speak. "You… I… I can't…" She tried unsuccessfully to articulate her fragmented thoughts between ragged, shallow, breaths. "It's not time." There, she had gotten a full sentence out, even if it didn't seem to make much sense. "I'll be back." Abruptly, she left Emily alone in the entryway.

She was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest up against the bathtub, berating herself. She was much calmer now and could think much more clearly after having purged. How could she have done that? How could she have let herself continue for even just a few minutes knowing Emily was on her way? Then, after all of that, how did she let herself leave her guest standing in the hallway by herself while she locked herself away for that? She felt dirty. She changed her clothes before leaving her bedroom, but it was little help.

She came out to see Emily studying her bookshelf full of medical texts. The other woman saw her and turned around. "Hey. Feeling better?" she asked with a half smile.

"Yeah," Lisa started tentatively, running a hand through her hair. "Congratulations, I guess you've officially seen me at my worst…"

Emily laughed softly. "I have a tendency to bring that out in people. Really, though, you look a lot more relaxed than when I got here."

Lisa started walking over to the sofa with Emily following. "Yeah, thanks," she replied flatly. The two leaned back and enjoyed the silence for a moment. "Look, I'm really sorry about that."

Emily hesitated, she reached a hand towards Lisa, silently asking permission to touch her. After receiving a nod, she placed a comforting hand on her arm. "I know. You know I know what it's like to need a fix."

Lisa abruptly sat up and stared sharply at her friend. "I wasn't in there taking drugs," she said angrily.

"No, I know," she tried to calmly reassure her friend. "Your fix doesn't come from a drug like mine, but that's still what you needed, and I have a feeling you were pretty much half way there already." Lisa looked towards Emily, apprehensive as to where this was going to go. "Maybe you're stressed, or maybe you're overwhelmed, or upset, angry, whatever, maybe sometimes you're just plain bored, but you need it to end. For some people, the easiest way to get rid of these emotions is to eat. As you eat you start to feel numb to everything. Eventually, you might reach a time limit you have set for yourself, or maybe you have gotten to a point of physical discomfort that can't be ignored anymore. Either way, that might be when a few new emotions slam into you. All of a sudden there is the guilt of knowing you have once again lost control of yourself. There's also the fear of the sheer volume of what you've consumed. This causes anxiety. There is only one way to alleviate this anxiety. So you push whatever remaining strand of dignity you have left aside and throw up. Now the guilt, the fear, and the anxiety are also gone and all that is left is the numbness. You are at peace. Does that sound familiar?"

Instead of answering, Lisa turned away from her while wiping a stray tear off of her cheek. Emily started to rub soothing circles on the back of her shoulders. Suddenly Lisa practically launched herself into Emily's arms, stunning the younger woman. As she wrapped her arms protectively around her, she heard a faint, "You seem to know a little about this."

"Yeah, I used to dance professionally, remember? At least half the company had eating disorders in one way or another ranging from mild to more severe. Some dancers were bulimic, but most were anorexics with bulimic behaviors like yourself," Lisa abruptly pulled away and began to pace the room furiously. She couldn't believe that Emily had just referred to her as anorexic. She was most definitely not anorexic. "And some of us pretty much fit the standard criteria for straight up Anorexia Nervosa…" Emily trailed off, seeing that Lisa was no longer listening to a thing she was saying.

Noticing that Emily was no longer talking, Lisa looked back at her. "I am not anorexic," she said venomously, echoing her thoughts.

Not wanting to upset her friend further, Emily put her hands up to surrender. "Ok, you're not. I can be wrong on occasion." She walked over to Lisa and embraced her again. When the shorter woman looked up at her questioningly, she added, "You looked like you could use another hug."

Lisa snaked her own arms around her friend while Emily thought. She knew Lisa was in denial, but there was also no way she knew of to help her friend unless she was willing to admit that she needed support. She also knew that she wished more than anything at the moment that her friend didn't have feel like she had to live her life this way.

"Are you going to be ok tonight?" Emily looked into Lisa's eyes.

Lisa took her hand and walked them back to the sofa and sat down. They sat together in silence for a few minutes, Lisa getting distracted by an imaginary hangnail. She took a deep breath. "I… You don't have to be my friend anymore, you know. I understand if you are disgusted."

"You are not getting rid of me that easily, sweetie."

The two sat in silence for a while again until Emily felt Lisa's head become heavy on her shoulder. "Hey, Lise? You need to get some sleep."

Lisa moved away slightly and sighed. "I don't want to be lonely tonight," she said sleepily.

Emily stood and pulled Lisa to a standing position. "Once you fall asleep you will be with your dreamland friends."

Lisa snaked her fingers through the younger woman's. "I'm not tired yet," she said before yawning, causing the other woman to chuckle.

"And you're just looking for excuses to keep me here, right?"

"Is it working?" Lisa asked expectantly.

Emily smiled. "I guess I can stay if you really want me to, but I have to warn you, I work early. I also didn't bring anything with me to wear to work so I need to leave even earlier, and I will probably drool on your sofa…"

"It'll be like a sleepover. Like when we were kids. It'll be fun," Lisa suggested excitedly.

Emily hesitated. "I really didn't get a chance to do that much. I guess it could be fun." Emily couldn't believe that she had just agreed to spend the night at Lisa's house. Lisa, the woman she had a huge crush on; the woman she felt like she could seriously fall in love with, if given the chance.

"Here, come with me. You can borrow something to sleep in." They walked to the bedroom together and after a brief search, Lisa pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants for Emily to wear.

Fifteen minutes later they were both sitting on the bed engaging in "girl talk" while Lisa brushed and braided Emily's hair. Once she was finished, they both leaned back in the bed. Lisa once again entwined her fingers through Emily's. "Thank you, for everything."

"Anything for you, Lise."

Lisa didn't give a single thought before snuggling up right into Emily and placing her head on her shoulder, giving herself the closeness she craved from another person. Emily initially tensed at the close contact, but quickly relaxed into it. Just when she thought Lisa was asleep, she heard her speak. "Life is so much more manageable with my best friend by my side." Before finally drifting off, she pressed herself further into Emily. The blonde rubbed a comforting hand across Lisa's shoulder blades. The woman's words said one feeling, but her actions seemed to suggest quite another at times, especially at the moment.

"Lisa Cuddy, you are so confusing sometimes. If you decide that you want something more than friendship, I will be here for you. If not, or until then, I will be honored to be by your side as your best friend." She received a deep sigh into her neck in response.

Two hours later the alarm on Emily's phone buzzed from the nightstand, waking her up. She unsuccessfully tried to extract herself from the bed without waking Lisa. "Hmmmmm. What time is it?"

Emily sat back down on the bed next to Lisa. "Shh, it's only three. Go back to sleep," she said soothingly. Lisa again drifted off. After changing back into the clothes she had been wearing when she came the night before, Emily folded the borrowed pajamas and placed them back on the bed for Lisa to find in the morning. She then sat down again next to her for a moment and looked at her. She was so at peace when she was sleeping. She ran a gentle hand over her hair and through her ponytail before placing a small kiss on the top of her head and getting up, knowing it could have been awkward had Lisa been awake, but not caring.

When Lisa's alarm went off, the first thing she noticed was that she was alone and she felt a sense of loss almost immediately. When she sat up she saw the folded up clothing that Emily had worn for sleep and found a small note sitting on top for her.

I hope you slept well and are feeling better.
See you soon :)
oo Em oo

Lisa smiled to herself and began the process of preparing herself for the day. After dressing, she slipped Emily's note into her pocket to keep with her for the day. She wanted something of Emily to be with her no matter what. She knew what this feeling was. She knew it was something she had been running away from her entire life, sometimes lying to herself and others, sometimes simply ignoring. Maybe it is time to stop being so scared, she thought. Maybe it's worth taking this chance, especially with someone who isn't scared away by my "food thing".

After waking Rachel and getting her started on the dressing process, she went to the kitchen to clean up the dreaded left over evidence of her binge the night before. When she approached the kitchen she stopped and looked on in awe. It looked completely as one would expect on your average morning. All of the items that had been strewn about had been cleaned up or thrown away as deemed appropriate. There was only one person who could have done this for her and she smiled to herself as she thought about her.

"Cuddy!" Thankfully she was in a good mood this morning, so even this ambush at the doorway, what was he even doing here this early, anyway? didn't annoy her as much as it usually would.

"What do you want, House?" She replied as she set up her desk for the day with her computer and paper work she had brought home for the weekend.

"I was wondering, Cuddy, did you start screwing the neighborhood anorexic before or after you took your giant nose dive out of eating disorder recovery land?" He stood in front of her desk looking at her smugly. "It must be pretty interesting, you know, trying to see who can go longer without eating this or that, deciding which bones look better on each other rather than clothing items like normal people, finding new ways to make yourself sick, all that. By the way, you're the fatter one, and no matter what you do, your ass will always be huge, so I would just give up if I were you." With that, he turned around and walked out the door of her office, leaving her completely stunned.

Cuddy slowly got up and walked to her door, locking it. She then curled up in the chair next to the couch, pulled her knees up to her chest, and buried her face in them, crying. How dare he? How dare he insinuate any of that? But House is always right. The more she thought about Emily the more what he said about her fit. Their friendship wasn't like that, though, and as much as she would like to escalate their relationship, she would never want one like that. No. She was determined to try to create a relationship with Emily and she was equally determined that this relationship would most definitely not become the competitive kind that House had described. Because no matter how sick Emily may or may not be, she resolved that she would never let it effect her own self.

A/N: So there you have it. Thank you all for hanging in there with my slowness... I hope you enjoyed it at least a little? More will come, I promise!