Thanks for my reviews! :-) they mean the world to me, honestly! Thank you thank you thank you! I hope this chappy is up to your standards, please let me know.

This chapter is named after another Dead By April song 'Sorry For Everything' so anyone who feels like it, feel free to check it out. I think it fits the first half of this chapter well.

Anyway, sorry for any mistakes. Read. Enjoy. Review.

Chapter Sixteen # Sorry For Everything #

"Cath, I can't do this." Alyssa said quietly as they sat in the airport cafe.

"Do what?"

"Come to Vegas with you."

"Why not?" Catherine frowned.

Alyssa took a deep breath and started to talk. "Because I followed orders. I slept with a man and I got pregnant. I told you that. But when my twins were three days old they were taken from the hospital by a drug dealer called Enrique Martinez. I spent three months looking for them and as soon as I found them I got in a car, and I drove for days and days until I reached their dad's house. I pretended to be a bimbo, I cracked the car windows, I grabbed a set of keys that would tell me if anyone was within four metres of my car and I knocked on the door. I was going to tell him everything I would be allowed to, but he wasn't alone, so I played the bimbo role and let him think that's what I did." By the time she had finished, tears were rolling down her cheeks and Catherine's mouth was hanging open.

"You're Lisa Cooke?"

"I was." She whispered. Catherine's head was spinning. Alyssa was Lisa? Alyssa was the woman that...

"Why did you do it? To Greg?"

"I was ordered to. And I felt awful, every step of the way, and he didn't deserve it, and I asked so many times, but they wouldn't tell me why. I wasn't supposed to get pregnant, and I didn't know I was for a long time. Catherine, I'm so sorry for what I did, but I can't go and ruin their lives again."

Catherine studied her friend. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you have to side with Greg because he's the innocent one here."

"I don't have to side with anyone." Catherine frowned. The woman in front of her had hurt Greg, but looking back from Alyssa's point of view, Catherine understood. Orders are orders, however much you hated them. "You didn't name them because you didn't have time..."

Alyssa nodded.

"Lyss? You're coming with me."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Alyssa asked for the fifty seventh time, glancing at the cars Catherine had identified as Morgan's and Nick's as Catherine knocked on Greg's door.

"Yes." Greg opened the door looking wearier than Catherine had ever seen him.

It took him two seconds to recognise Alyssa. He froze. "What are you doing here?"

Alyssa swallowed and glanced at Catherine, who spoke up. "Greg-"

"Catherine is this-"

"I know. I've known for about four hours."

"Daddy!" Loeila called, running up towards him.

"Audie Catherine!" She cried happily, racing forward. Greg lifted her off of the floor and onto his hip.

"Daddy!" She scowled. "Down!"

"What are you doing here?" Greg repeated.

"Will you let her explain, please?" Catherine asked.

"Daddy down! I wan' down daddy!"

"Lola, be quiet." Greg said quietly. The little girl huffed and blew a raspberry in her dad's face. He rolled his eyes.

"Greg, trust me." Catherine pleaded, and Greg's resolve wavered.

"Okay. Come on in." He sighed, his eyes on Alyssa as Loeila scrambled down and then up into Catherine's arms. Greg led the two women into the living room where Nick was building a castle out of blocks with Kristy the returning Loeila, whilst Morgan sat next to the coffee table drawing with Reuben.

Morgan bit her lip as she saw Alyssa, but Reuben, Kristy and Nick just smiled at Catherine.

"Explain." Greg said simply, and Nick looked from Alyssa to Greg to Catherine.

"Uh... should Morgan and I..."

"No, stay, please." Greg said almost coldly, his eyes trained suspiciously on Alyssa. "Catherine seems to think you have an explanation. So explain."

Alyssa sucked in a large breath of air, knowing that she had to be conscious of the children in the room. "I was ordered to get with you. I worked for the CIA and I was ordered to meet you and to...well... you know... I asked why and I was told that it wasn't important. So I did what I had to, then you found me talking to a colleague so I tried to imply I'd been cheating. I was told to walk away so I did. When I found out I was pregnant I was already five months down the line."

"You didn't notice for five months?" Morgan raised an eyebrow.

"No, I didn't. I was taking drugs, medicinal drugs, for various on the job injuries, I figured they were...messing things up. Anyway, I decided that I'd keep the babies and retire, maybe tell you everything... But I had one last case, so I decided to go on maternity leave and finish it when I got back. I didn't know what to name them when they were born but I didn't worry, my partner and his wife took a week naming their baby... But when the twins were three days old, they were taken from the hospital by a drug dealer, Enrique Martinez. I searched every single day for three months, and when I finally found them I picked up some stuff from the store and drove straight to Vegas. It wasn't safe for them to be with me."

"But it was safe leaving them in a locked car?" Greg's voice was icy.

"I cracked the windows on purpose. I left the air-con on and I had a set of car keys left over from an undercover op that would vibrate if anyone came within two metres of the car. Even cracked, the windows were bullet proof. I unstrapped the car seats to make you think I was careless, to give the courts something to work with if anyone tried to take them away from you."

"How did you know I'd be such a good father? I could have been a monster."

"I did a background check, before I met you and then again once I found out I was pregnant. You were the only guy I had...you know...with, in years. You think being a CSI means no personal life." She shook her head. "I also have a fairly good people radar. I knew you'd look after them. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I quit my job, joined the FBI and I had no idea you two knew each other and when I found out... Catherine was my first true friend in years. I didn't want to lose that, so I didn't tell her. Until we were told we had to come to Vegas. I...I tried not to come. I didn't want to ruin your lives... I know that you probably don't believe me, but here's the case file. It's all the truth, I swear. I am so, so, sorry for what happened to them and I am so, so sorry for what I did to you." She finished, tears on her cheeks.

Greg bit his lip and nodded slowly. "I'm not. If you didn't, then I wouldn't have either of them. You have no idea how much I want to hate you right now. But, honestly, I don't see anything you did that I wouldn't have. Apart from the first thing."

Alyssa sighed. "At the CIA orders are orders. I didn't have a choice."

Greg nodded as an awkward silence fell over the group. Greg felt strangely numb. The day before he'd nearly lost his baby, and found out his dad could be alive. That his dad had protected him for eight years... Now this? And Catherine had spoken a lot about Alyssa... Greg could tell that she cared a lot about the younger woman, the same way she cared about Sara and Greg and Nick and Morgan...

Reuben raced over to him, snapping him out of his pondering. "Look, Daddy! Look what I maded! Is a piture!"

"Another picture?" Greg smiled, lifting Reuben onto his lap.

"Uh huh. Dis one no for Audie Mogan, dis one is for you!"

"Thanks, Reubs." Greg smiled half heartedly, kissing his son's head.

"Is me and you and Lola and Kristy and Eli and Uncie Nick and Audie Sawa and Uncie Gwiss and Audie Mogan and Finn and DB and Bawababa and Maya and Kaitlyn and Audie Cafwin and her Lou. And dere is Henwy and Mandy and Wendy. Is our famiwy daddy!" He beamed.

Loeila frowned and toddled over to have a look. "Where my Hodgie?"

"Oh!" Reuben giggled. He took a crayon off of a nearby table and added another potato like figure. "And Lola's Hodgie."

Greg pulled Reuben closer. He looked over Reuben's head at Catherine. "Should I tell them?"

"It's up to you." Catherine smiled wryly, knowing exactly what Greg was talking about.

Greg bit his lip.

"What da matter, daddy?" Reuben asked.

"Everything's cool." Greg smiled.

Reuben nodded and turned to Alyssa. "You're pwetty!"

She smiled nervously at him, as though she didn't think she was allowed. "Really? Thank you."

"Uh huh."

"I fink so too!" Loeila piped up, and Kristy nodded shyly, clinging onto Nick's leg.

"I fink you're very, very, nearwy as pwetty as Mogan and Sawa. Nearwy." Reuben said honestly. "But you'we weally pwetty."

"Someone has the same taste as his Daddy." Nick grinned.

"Wha' does dat mean, Daddy?" Kristy asked.

"Nothin'." Nick grinned.

Loeila stuck her thumb in her mouth. "Uh...you're weally pretty but um, who are you?"

"Loeila, Reuben..." Greg took a deep breath. "This is your mom. Your biological mom."

Both twins looked shocked.

"Our mom?" Reuben frowned. "Da one who leabed us?"

"Yeah." Greg nodded. "She didn't want to."

"Well den why did you leabe?" Loeila asked indignantly.

"I had to."

"To protect you from bad guys." Greg sighed.

"Awe you in love?" Reuben asked.

"No." Greg and Alyssa said softly at the same time.

"Otay." Reuben shrugged.

"But...but you leabed us..." Loeila's lip trembled. "You still leabed us."

"Lola, she didn't want to." Catherine interjected softly.

Loeila's lip quivered. "Why you here now?"

"To help me keep the bad guys away. She's my friend." Catherine explained.

"So you pwefer her to me?" Loeila cried.

Greg coughed and rolled his eyes at the same time.

"No, Loeila, no!" Catherine frowned.

"Yes you do! Nobody loves me!" the three year old yelled, flinging herself into Morgan's arms. "Sept Mogan and my Hodgie!" she added as an afterthought.

"Lola..."

"No daddy! You don' love me, dust like eberybody ewse!" She nestled into Morgan's arms. "I lib wib Mogan now!"

"I think your Daddy does love you." Morgan said softly. "I think everyone loves you because you're so beautiful."

Loeila beamed. "Das why I love you!"

Morgan laughed, rubbing the little girls back. Loeila leaned forward and whispered something in Morgan's ear.

"I think so." Morgan whispered back.

Loeila sighed and settled into Morgan's arms, studying Alyssa.

Alyssa felt even more scrutinised than she had when her cover blown while she was in a room with six members of the Russian Mafia.

"Daddy? Daddy? Daaaaaaaddy!" Kristy threw a small wooden block at her zoned out father.

"Ow! Kristina!"

"Daddy, no listen to me!" she protested.

"I'm sorry, Kristy. What's wrong?"

"Wha's goin' on? I don' understand." She asked.

"The nice lady over there, Alyssa, is Loeila and Reuben's biological mom. Do you remember what that means?"

Kristy's face screwed up in concentration. "Bio-ogical. Dat means... dat she is da weal mommy dat gave birth to dem?"

"Good girl!" Nick grinned and Kristy beamed.

Alyssa's eyes widened. "You have one smart little girl."

"Thank you." Nick smiled.

"So about the case the case...and my dad..." Greg prompted. "I told these guys and the others in the hospital."

"We don't have anything new. We've been sent for moderate protection, which basically means being close by, daily checks, emergency contact details etc." Catherine explained.

"Cafin, can you peese find da bad guy from our house as well as da one dat huwt Weuben?"

"What bad guy from your house?" Catherine cried.

Nick gravely explained the man in the closet to Catherine.

"Do you think it was related?" Alyssa asked softly.

"I don't know. All I know is that these guys come in, they hurt us and they run away again." Nick muttered angrily.

Catherine shook her head. "They're not getting away. Not this time."

CSIVCSIVCSIV

"Sara, can I have a cookie?"

"You've already had three."

"But I'm still hungry!"

"No, Eli." Sara came into the kitchen. "Have you seen my car keys?"

"Nope." Eli shook his head, leaning on the kitchen island. "Pleeeaaase can I have a cookie?"

"I said know. If you're hungry, have an apple. Or a banana."

"Yuck. I hate bananas." Eli shuddered, taking an apple.

"I know." Sara grinned, before frowning. "Where are my car keys?"

"Maybe...on the key hook?"

"Cute, Eli."

"I know I am." He grinned, and Sara shoved his arm playfully.

"Would you maybe help me rather than act like a smarty pants?"

"Okay..." Eli rolled his eyes and started rummaging around in the drawers. "Found them."

"Great. Let's go."

"We're going to Uncle Greg's, right?"

"Yeah, but you've gotta be-"

"Gentle with Reuben because he got hurt the other day I know, Sara, you told me ages ago."

"Alright." Sara pursed her lips. "Get in the car."

Eli raced out of the house and slipped into the front seat of the car.

"Sara?" he asked as she got into the car.

"Uh huh?"

"Why were you and Grissom arguing this morning in the airport?"

Sara sighed. "Because he didn't want to leave for London."

"To get his book published?"

"Yeah. I told him that if he didn't leave he would miss the opportunity, he didn't want to leave while we were in trouble."

"So why did you say he should?"

"Because it's his dream." Sara sighed and looked over at Eli. "The only reason that he went is because-"

"You yelled."

"No, because he promised that he would come back if anything else happened. It was a once in a lifetime shot and he was almost on the plane."

"Okay." Eli shrugged. "Kyle was being stupid at school again today."

"Oh yeah? What was he saying?"

"He was picking on Jamie again. So I told him to go and kiss his mother's bu-"

"Eli!" Sara cried.

"He was hitting Jamie! Anyway, so he said 'at least I have a mom who cares about me' and I said that I have you and he said that you were a stupid cow so I walked away with Jamie 'cause it was the end of lunch."

"Apart from Kyle, how's Jamie settling in?" Sara asked. Harry Riddle, their neighbour had recently been laid off from the fire service and Jamie had had to leave the specialist school for deaf children that he'd attended. It had helped that he and Eli were best friends and that Eli was already fairly fluent in sign language. Eli translated for Jamie most of the time, and they had a teaching assistant who also translated for him.

"He said that it's harder than his old school but that he likes most of the people in the class. Most of them are trying to learn sign language too. Kyle's the only one insisting on bullying him, and also me."

"You should tell the teacher."

"We have! Kyle's just insecure. Mrs. Durrant says it's because he doesn't have a very good home life."

"You are a very understanding child."

Eli rolled his eyes. "You are a very patronizing adult."

Sara snorted a laugh. "I'm sorry."

"Sara, stop!" Eli yelled.

Sara slammed on the breaks just in time to stop before hitting a cat. "Jesus!"

"You were gonna hit that cat!"

"I know, I know, it's okay." Sara breathed heavily for a moment. Her phone buzzed and she glanced behind her at the empty road. She pulled over, turned the car off and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Miss Sidle?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"You work at CSI, right?"

"Yes, I do, who is this?"

"My name is Jose Martinez. My wife and daughter were killed three years ago and my brother tells me it wasn't even a case."

Sara glanced at Eli. "Your brother did something highly illegal-"

"He just wanted to help me!" the man yelled. "He was going to investigate himself, now he has almost nothing."

"He shot a child, there is no excuse for that. Why are you calling me?"

"I want you to make it a real case."

"We don't have a body, a suspect or a crime scene, there is nothing I can do."

"I will take you to the bodies. I want to know what happened to my family."

"You're going to have to go to the police department."

"No. I want you to do it. I want you to personally open the case."

"I can't do that."

"Cute kid. He yours?"

Sara froze. "Where are you?"

"You open my daughter's case, or I'll end your son's life!"

Sara turned the key in the ignition.

"Don't ignore me!"

The moment her foot touched the pedal a gunshot rang through the air. Eli screamed.

"Get down!" Sara yelled, pushing down on the accelerator and tearing down the road. She snatched her radio up. "Control, control, this is CSI Sidle..."

There was a loud bang and the car started spinning.

"SARA!" Eli screamed.

Sara finished with the radio. "It's gonna be okay, Eli, it's going to be okay."

"Sara, what's going on?" he sobbed as she reached into the glove compartment. She grabbed her gun and shoved the spare ammo into her pocket.

"Unbuckle your seatbelt." She ordered. Eli quickly obeyed. "Now, keep down but come here..."

Sara helped Eli climb over the gap between the two seats. She pushed him down so he was in the foot compartment between her legs. A single bullet came through the passenger window, about a foot in front of Sara's face.

Eli screamed, digging his fingers into her leg. "Sara!"

"I know, I know." She whispered. She opened the driver's door and slipped out.

"Sara!" Eli whispered, huddled under the seat. "Sara, please don't go! Don't leave me!"

"I'm not going to leave you." Sara shook her head, placing a hand on his face.

A soft hissing noise preceded another load bang and half of the car burst into flames.

Eli screamed loudly and Sara dragged him out into her arms. He clung to her like a monkey to a tree as she backed away from the burning vehicle. A man walked up to them, his gun trained on the two of them.

"Don't move Miss Sidle. Like I said, cute kid."

Eli turned slightly to look at the man.

"I wouldn't look over here, chico! Turn around or I'll pop your mommy."

Eli instantly obeyed. "Sara, I'm scared!" he whispered.

"I know." She murmured back, holding her gun up toward Martinez.

"I don't want to hurt anybody. I just want to be sure that revenge for my baby was served."

"You killed the Rodgers family." Sara stated.

"I wouldn't be accusing me of anything right now if I were you. But yes. I did."

A siren came closer rapidly.

"Oh, you called for backup. Don't worry, Miss Sidle, I'm not going to hurt your little boy. Not now. I won't hurt anyone if you open the case. If you open the case, your little boy will go unharmed. I swear." The man blew a kiss at Sara. "Adios."

Sara jumped as a car swerved up and Jose Martinez slipped in.

As the car drove away, Sara stroked Eli's head. "It's okay, it's okay."

She relaxed visibly when Brass himself jumped out of a police car and ran up to Sara. "Are you two okay? Where's the suspect?"

"Gone that way in a black car, licence plate YH9 76B." Sara explained, hugging Eli to her.

"Okay, I'll call it in." Brass nodded. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just wanna get him under shelter." Sara said quickly.

"Agreed, get in the car, both of you." Brass nodded, holding open the door.

Once in the car, Eli started sobbing again. "Sara, Sara, Sara!"

"It's okay, baby, it's okay." Sara murmured. "I won't let him hurt you."

"But Sara, he's gonna hurt you." Eli sniffed.

"Nobody's hurting anybody." Sara shook her head.

"We're not getting to Uncle Greg's are we?"

"Not right now." Sara said sadly. She shifted Eli around on her lap so he could look out the window and his head fell back against her shoulder.

She grabbed the cell phone she'd dropped loosely into her pocket while she started the car and started a call.

"Russell, its Sara. We are in way over our heads."

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