"This is awful. Who wears this shit?" Santana said, a little too loudly, as she held up an ugly pink and blue tent-like garment. It was a few days after her Breadstix lunch, and she and her mother were shopping at Lima's only maternity store. "Seriously, this is like what Rachel Berry and Miss Pillsbury would wear. If they were walruses."
"That's enough, Mija," Cece hissed. "Maybe if you had waited a few years, the clothing options would have improved, but they don't exactly have seventeen year old cheerleaders in mind when they design these things."
"Clearly. I think this crap would manage to make me look like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time. Let's get this over with," Santana said as she grabbed a few of the least dorky items she could find.
"Do you need any help, dear?" Cece asked when her daughter hadn't emerged from the dressing room several minutes later. The only response she got was what sounded like a stifled sob.
"I'm coming in, unlock the door." Santana did, and her mother opened the door a few seconds later to find her huddled in the corner crying.
"Honey, it's not that bad. I actually think you look beautiful," she said, trying to comfort her daughter.
"No, I don't. I look like a big fat loser," Santana sobbed.
"You don't look fat at all, it's the baby, and you're still pretty tiny." Cece was about to tell her that this was nothing and she should just wait to see how big she would be at the end, but she decided it wasn't a good idea. Santana had always been vain, and now she was hormonal and weighed more than she ever had. Which still wasn't much, Cece was right when she said Santana was still pretty small and the only areas that were bigger were her boobs and belly.
"Oh God, there's actually a baby in there. A human being that is going to get bigger, and then come out, and then I'll have to take care of it," she cried as if she had just realized all of this for the first time. It certainly wasn't the first time she has realized it, but it seemed to hit her hard at different times. This was one of those times, just like whenever she felt the baby move or saw her on a sonogram.
"Yes honey, I thought we'd established that," Cece said, pulling her into a hug and smoothing her hair. "Look, I'm not going to tell you this is going to be easy. None of this is going to be easy, and your life will never be the same, but it will be alright. Your father and I are going to be there for you, and so is Sam's family, and we have the best doctors around. And speaking of doctors, we need to move this along. We have an appointment with the pediatric neurosurgeon in an hour."
Santana composed herself, and settled on almost five hundred dollars worth of the best clothing options she could find, and they headed to the doctor's office. Her father met them there, and Santana was nervous about that, and not particularly looking forward to seeing him, but Sam and his mom were there too, so that made it easier. She figured he wasn't going to yell at her or give her the silent treatment with them around, for a second time. But she was glad to get it over with. She had been even more nervous about seeing her dad again than she had been about seeing her mom. Her dad was the one that had been so horrible to her, her mom was just the one who didn't stop it.
Their reunion had been fine. When Santana and Cece arrived, her father, Mark was sitting in the waiting room talking to Sam and Mary, and she noticed, they were smiling and appeared to be having a decent time. Upon hearing the door open, Mark stopped his conversation and rushed over to hug his daughter.
"I'm so sorry," he said quietly, and Santana could tell that he was definitely choked up. Santana started to cry again too, but it wasn't long before the nurse called them back.
"It's good to see you," Mark said, when he took her hand and the group followed the nurse. "You look good."
The Neurosurgeon, Dr. McClain, was warm and patient, and tried to explain things in terms that everyone understood, but it was still a lot to take in.
"Dr. Wu and I have been going over your scans and tests, and he's going to have to perform ultrasounds regularly to monitor the baby's cerebral fluid, and we may have to deliver a little bit early, but I want to tentatively schedule you for a c-section at 37 weeks," he explained.
"Do I have to have a c-section?" Santana asked. Cece was about to tell her that this was not the time to be vain, and that the scar wouldn't be that bad, when Santana continued. "It's just that I've been doing some reading, and I know that a c-section has a longer recovery time, and it'll just be more time that I have to spend away from the baby."
"C-sections appear better for a baby with Spina Bifida in theory, but actually there is not a whole lot of evidence that a vaginal birth causes more nerve damage. It may be an option, but we'll have to see as you get closer. You will most likely be induced though, if you are able to deliver vaginally. Like I said, we're going to monitor the fluids, and if there is too much pressure on your baby's brain, we'll have to deliver early. Also, a planned birth assures that all the right specialists will be there. I also want to refer you to an Orthopedic Surgeon and a Urologist. People with Spina Bifida often have bone and bladder problems, they're not always required at birth, but you'll need them for the future, and I want you to tour the NICU."
"What about intra-uterine surgery?" Mary asked. "We've been reading about that, it seems promising."
"It is promising," Dr. McClain sighed. "Unfortunately that is no longer an option. Intrauterine surgery does seem to lessen the complications associated with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus, unfortunately Ms. Lopez is too far along for it at this point. It needs to be performed before twenty-six weeks so the fetus heals before birth. I'm so sorry," He said, before looking around the room and noticing that Santana, Sam, and their mothers had started to cry.
"Intrauterine surgery isn't a cure though," he continued. "The baby would have still had many of the problems associated, they just appear to be less severe. But, we will perform the surgery on the baby's spine shortly after birth, and monitor the Hydrocephalus. We may need to place a shunt in her brain within a few days to drain the fluid on her brain to her abdomen. Fortunately, treatment options have improved over the years, and her prognosis should be pretty good. We won't know specifics until she gets older, but many people with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus are able to live pretty normal lives."
"Will we get to hold her? I mean, before the surgery?" Sam asked, squeezing Santana's hand.
"Most likely. If all goes well, you should be able to hold her before surgery. Unfortunately, after the surgery, she'll have to lie on her stomach for about a week to heal, and you won't be able to hold her during that time. She'll also have to be on a feeding tube at first since she'll be lying on her stomach, and she'll have to stay in the NICU for at least two weeks, maybe longer."
"Will she be in any pain?" Santana asked.
"She will be while she's recovering from the surgery. She'll be on morphine to control it, but after that, she shouldn't be. Spina Bifida itself isn't painful, but if she develops urinary tract infections, those can be. You'll also need to monitor her for signs of headaches. Of course, not all headaches are serious, but severe ones could be due to worsening Hydrocephalus or shunt malfunctions. And as she gets older, she may develop Scoliosis or Lordosis which can be painful. Any other questions?" He asked, looking around the room again, and they all just shook their heads.
"Okay, well then I guess we're done for the day. We'll meet up again to go over birth plans, but for now you'll mostly stick with regular appointments with Dr. Wu. He does handle high risk cases, so he'll be able to monitor everything until the birth. Please feel free to call my office whenever you have any questions, and your father also has my cell phone number, so feel free to use that too if you need anything."
"Would you like to join us for dinner at Breadstix?" Mark asked, once they were out in the parking lot. "Have Bill and the kids meet us there too."
"Sam and I can join ya'll, Bill won't be home from work until after seven. The kids are with Sam and Santana's friend Rachel," Mary explained, and Santana had to control the urge to roll her eyes. She and Rachel were most definitely not friends, although she supposed she was probably a good choice for a baby sitter. She was the approximate size of a ten year old, so she wouldn't be intimidating, and she did have lots of energy. And even Santana had to admit that Rachel had been kind to them about the baby's situation. Still, as far as Santana was concerned, this whole pregnancy was partially the midget's fault, so she wasn't quite ready to say that they were friends.
"Have you thought more about moving back home?" Mark asked his daughter in the middle of dinner.
"We've all discussed it, and we're in agreement that it would be a good idea," Santana said nervously. Three months ago, she never thought she'd move back in with her parents, she wasn't even sure she'd ever talk to them again, but it did make the most sense, and their reunion had gone a lot better than she had expected. She knew her parents were still disappointed in her, and she knew that they probably always would be to a certain extent. She was disappointed in herself, she honestly never thought she'd be a mom at all, especially a teenage one. But they'd calmed down since they found out about the pregnancy, and as much as they weren't thrilled with the idea, they had accepted it, and knew their daughter would need their help and support.
"I'm so glad to hear that!" Cece said, unable to hide her excitement. "We just think it would be best for you and the baby to be close to your dad so he can keep an eye on you. And the baby can have her own room. Of course Sam is welcome anytime, since he's family now too, but I hope you understand you two won't be sharing a room in our house. "
Santana and Sam figured as much, most parents wouldn't let their teenager share a room with her boyfriend, even if they had already made a baby. Sam's parents, being responsible, were the same way. Fortunately Santana's parents had lots of extra bedrooms, so they would each be able to have one. Santana also knew she wanted to the baby to sleep in her room at least until she was sleeping through the night, and didn't know what the meant for Sam or if he'd be able to help during the night, but they'd cross that bridge when they got to it.
When dinner was over, they all hugged, and Sam and Santana went home with their respective parents. It was weird not sleeping under the same roof after they had for so many months, and they stayed on the phone with each-other until Santana finally fell asleep around 2 am, but they knew it was for the best.