Embrace |Part 1|

Emma woke up, the sunlight blaring through the window. She rubbed her tired eyes, she had woken up to the sound of yelling and screaming, she got up and peered through her window to discover her friends playing the snow, having a snowball fight.

Emma breathed out a huff of cold air. She could feel her heart pounding, desperate to have some fun with her friends. But the other part of her heart was telling her she couldn't. She was still feeling guilty for Jacks death, despite the years that had passed. She could feel tears begin to swell in her eyes. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the bad thoughts. She hated crying, she cried every day.

She could never forget.

Emma continued to watch her friends have fun, it looked to her that the snow was endless. It looked as if someone was creating more and more snow for them to play with. She lingered by her frost covered window for another moment. Emma left her room, the door groaning as it rubbed against the wooden floor. She remembered when she was younger, she and Jack had shared rooms and she could never really open the door properly. Jack had always laughed and pretended to struggle opening the door just to amuse her.

She smiled slightly, remembering Jack but she then shook her head, trying to get him out of her thoughts. All good thoughts of Jack always, always, lead her heart to squeeze painfully with guilt. Emma ate her breakfast; her mother always prepared it for her before she worked on sewing clothes for her and her father.

Emma slipped out the front door and sat at the front, watching her friends play. She remembered how she and Jack played in the snow, building snowmen, forts and having a snowball fight. She wanted to play with her friends, forget about everything had just have fun again.

But she just couldn't.

"Emma!" Someone had called out her name from her group of friends. A taller boy with green eyes was sprinting towards her.

"Hi Nathan," Emma waved half-heartedly, but she gave him a friendly smile. Here is goes again.

"Why don't you come play with us?" He asked, scratching his head.

"I can't," Emma said simply. He always asked Emma but she always said no, and he would just leave her alone afterward. She secretly loved how he always asked, but she hated how she always denied. She knew though, that if she would accept, it would mean forgetting about what she had done. And she just couldn't let go, wouldn't let go.

Something was different this time. And Emma really wasn't ready for it.

Nathan sat down in front of her, looking at her with his intense green eyes.

"Emma, why don't you ever want to have fun?" He asked seriously, a slight pout on his face. Emma rubbed her arm, suddenly feeling colder. There was small gust of wind that blew their way, and Emma was quiet.

"It's... not like I don't want to," she admitted. "I just... feel that I shouldn't."

She shivered as cold breeze came by. She curled up, hugging her legs, not wanting to look at Nathan.

"Emma," Nathan placed his hand on her knee, comforting her. Emma looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. "Your brother would want you to have fun; he'd hate seeing you like this. Feeling guilty, shunning your friends away from you. I hate seeing you like this, all of us. We hate seeing you cry all the time, depressed. We miss having you around, talking to us, telling us storied that your brother told you. We want you to come back, to be happy again. And I just want you to know," he was quieter now, his voice almost a whisper, "It's not your fault."

Those words punctured her heart in a way it never had before, as if it finally pierced through the thick metal armour she had put on, keeping her from accepting that she was innocent. Nathans soft reassuring voice had for some reason slipped through the fine tuning of her isolated heart. Her parents voices had never gone through, nor had her best friend Mary.

And she cried.

There was cold breeze, against her wet face. As if trying to wipe away the tears. Her shoulders felt cold, it felt like the winter air was embracing her. She had an icy feeling on her skin. The cold feeling around her didn't freeze her, it felt like it was warming her heart. She sighed, finally letting go.

"Thank you Nathan," she managed to whisper. Nathan gave her a reassuring smile, his green eyes sparkling. In an even quieter voice she whispered, "I'm so sorry Jack, for everything."

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to post! I've been busy with school and such. I also lost quite a few chapters that I wrote; they accidentally got deleted or never got saved, so it might take awhile again. The chapters that I wrote that were deleted included this chapter, so if there's any grammar mistakes please point out! I wanted to get this posted since I haven't updated in awhile. I read the Guardians of Childhood books just a few days ago, so I might be putting some stuff from the books into these stories as well.