Being home wasn't what made her realize she was dreaming. Going upstairs and going, and going and going, was what tipped her off as she tried going up the stairs faster in an effort to get anywhere. She started getting warm and breathing heavier as she went. The air started growing thick and heavy the more she tried reaching the top. Behind her was black and dark.
She began sweating and her breath came in short pants and she was forced to sit on the step and catch her breath. The air grew warmer still and the longer she sat, trying to breathe, the hotter the stairs began to feel until she felt surrounded by it, burning her skin in a vaguely familiar heat that sent her to her feet again in panic. She willed herself to wake up.
Everything hurt. A deep ache settled in her bones and just the presence of the sheets on her skin was enough to wrinkle her face in pain. As she exhaled, a tickle deep in her chest triggered a coughing fit.
She shivered.
A warm hand pressed against her forehead and mumbled something.
"Water," she managed to get out of her scratchy throat. A moment later, a bottle was against her lips and she drank deeply. Catching her breath triggered another coughing fit, yet nothing knocked loose the tight knot in her chest.
But she was tired. Very tired. And she fell asleep again. This time, she didn't dream.
Torin had a difficult time tamping down the mild panic when she didn't respond to his question. Instead, she asked for water and fell asleep again. Her fever had only gotten worse. He contemplated adding another blanket, but decided against it in case she overheated.
Despite being a few hours until breakfast, he called the doctor. His immediate concern and assurance that he would come over immediately did assuage his fear. Feeling helpless, he sat on the edge of the bed and rested a hand on her arm, reaching out to her through the bond to get a sense of her. She didn't respond.
Restless anxiety spurred him to his feet as he paced the room. A primal need to do something, anything, to help her flushed through him and caught him off guard. He felt strangely off balance, which did not help him in regulating his mood.
A new anxiety took hold then as he turned back to face Nia as she took shallow, rattling, breaths on the bed.
He would concern himself with that later. Nia needed him.
Exactly 17 minutes after contacting him, the doctor knocked on their door. Relief toko some weight off his shoulders as he greeted the doctor with his neatly combed salt and pepper hair and bag full of supplies in hand.
He gave a curt nod before cutting straight to the point.
"Where is she?" Torin led him to the bedroom where she continued to sleep. He sat his bag down, digging out a scanner.
"How long has she been unconscious?" He held the scanner over her and took her vitals.
"She fell asleep when she got home last night. She woke briefly and drank some water 20 minutes ago."
"Staying hydrated will be helpful." He looked over the results on the scanner and Torin held his hands tightly behind his back to stop himself from asking questions and distracting him, though he couldn't stop hovering.
"Her oxygen levels are low, but do not require oxygen at this time. I will give you a scanner to monitor them." He took out a stethoscope and pressed it to her chest and sides, listening.
"She has significant congestion in her lungs. I would need to do further scans at the clinic to determine how much there is." He shuffled through his bag again. "Since she is unconscious I need your consent to take a blood sample for further testing."
He took out an empty hypo and pressed it to her vein in the crook of her arm and took a sample.
"I'll run some tests before I rest. They should be finished by the time I wake." He capped the sample and closed it into a sterile ziplock bag. "It should narrow down what type of illness she has." Then, he pulled out a small cylinder the size of his forearm and laid it on the bed along with some hosing and a hypo.
"In case her breathing gets worse, use this." He held up the hypo. "Inject it into her neck. This will temporarily open her airways and relax her lungs. Then, use the oxygen tank." He showed Torin how to turn it on before standing, satisfied.
"I intend to gather supplies for those who are ill. I will come back with things to ease her symptoms. Do you have any questions for me?" He tapped away at his tablet, likely taking notes and setting reminders.
"I do not."
Then he left.
Alone and not at all reassured, he placed the hypos on the nightstand and the oxygen tank and tubing on the floor near her before settling his gaze again on Nia.
Tension coiled in his shoulders. The restless energy would make meditation difficult. He took a breath and slowly released. In hindsight, he should have asked the doctor about his own concerns, but his worry over Nia outweighed. It was irrational and illogical for him to feel so anxious yet…
He sat on the side of the bed again.
Yet, she was all he had.
Eventually, he finally convinced himself that nothing would drastically change if he did a few exercises in the living room to center himself and relieve some of his anxious energy. It was rare he had to resort to this, not since he was much younger and less in control of himself.
He lifted the weights above his head and took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he did. Then, he brought his right leg forward into a lunge and held it.
All the while, he took deep breaths and concentrated on how the weights felt in his hand, how his muscles felt as he held it. When he was satisfied, he switched legs. The physical distraction allowed him to think without reacting emotionally.
He did a few more exercises and stretches until a satisfying ache lingered in his arms, legs, and abdomen. Ideally he'd go for a run now, but he would not leave Nia alone.
After putting the weights away, he went to the meditation area and lit some incense. He'd expended enough energy that he could sit and concentrate on meditation. Focusing on the smoke that trailed up to the ceiling, he took deep breaths and cleared his mind.
His biggest concern came to the forefront of his mind immediately. Nia's illness. It was difficult to say what it was or how it would affect her. They'd all done their best to be in top health before coming; Nia had groaned about all the vaccinations she had to catch up on. He was anxious about her health. He had the illogical worry she would rapidly decline — or worse.
He tried to work through it logically. They had doctors and access to modern medicine and testing. But it could be an alien virus or bacteria. He rationed that others have gotten sick and made a full recovery. However, they were not half human. Frowning, he sensed his meditation was not going productively.
Pushing down his mild irritation, he grabbed his meditation beads, another aid he had not needed for a long time, and focused on how the beads felt as he watched the incense burn down.
His previous line of thinking hadn't been productive. Shifting, he considered what he could do in this situation. Creating a proactive plan was a step in the correct direction. He would stay with her and make sure she didn't get worse. He would attempt to get her to eat and drink.
But then there was work.
He caught himself clenching his jaw and forced himself to relax again. Perhaps he could-
A knock on the door broke his focus. The sound of beads hitting the floor caught him by surprise as he looked down and saw the remnants of the stringed beads in his hand, most of them skittering around the floor and rolling away from him. He silently looked at them, unaware he'd broken them.
A stress reaction.
He quickly gathered the beads and put them in a small pile before standing and walking to the front door as the knock sounded again.
"Hello, Torin," Avarik greeted. His voice was muffled slightly from the mask he wore over his mouth and nose.
"Good morning." Torin eyed the cart behind him.
"The doctor has informed me Nia is ill and has suggested quarantine for all who are ill in order to prevent spreading. It is highly contagious. It is only until we know more about it and how to best combat it." From the cart, he grabbed a few masks, hand sanitizer, and a small box that contained first aid supplies and other various medicines to address the symptoms.
"Thank you." Torin took the supplies and set them just inside the apartment. He wasn't sure if it was the look on his face or if Avarik sensed his feelings despite firmly placing up his mental walls, but Avarik observed him for a moment before asking "Are you well?"
Perhaps it was an innocuous comment given that Torin's wife was sick and contagious, but he felt mildly paranoid that Avarik saw something in Torin that he himself was not ready to discuss.
"I am well, thank you. I will notify the doctor of any changes. I have had no symptoms of the illness yet." Though it was illogical to hide his own concerns, a lifetime of acclimating to Vulcan culture and societal politeness forbade him from speaking about his suspicions lest a flush of embarrassment and shame emotionally compromise him. Besides, he could be wrong and Avarik wasn't the doctor.
He nodded once.
"Very well. Please contact me with any concerns."
"I will."
Then he shut the door and winced at the tension headache that slowly started at his temples.
He secured his mask before casting one last glance at Nia. It was lunch time and she was still sleeping. They'd been instructed to bring their meals to their room while in quarantine and were excused from work in the meantime until Nia was recovered and he showed no symptoms.
She hadn't gotten worse, but she hadn't improved either. He wasn't thrilled with leaving her alone even long enough to go downstairs, but they both needed to eat. He made a mental note to inform the doctor about his own lack of appetite today.
He wasn't the only one downstairs, nor the only one in a mask. He joined Sevek, who nodded in greeting. Off to the side, Alieth stood waiting for lunch as well. He returned his attention to Sevek and hoped didn't see him. Or wouldn't come stand by them, at the very least.
"Hopefully this is resolved quickly," he muttered quietly to Torin.
"I agree. Nia is still ill." He said the last part quietly. Sevik turned to him now as they stood waiting.
"How is she?"
"Very ill. She sleeps a lot. Her cough has not improved, but her overall condition has not declined further." He felt anxious and glanced at the kitchen door. They were running behind today. Likely some kitchen staff also came down with the mystery illness and those filling in were unaccustomed to the work.
Before Sevik could respond, Alieth joined them. Torin felt his defenses rise and he watched her warily, his patience thin today.
"Sevik, Torin," she greeted. He was pleased with Sevik's sense of camaraderie as he too only nodded in acknowledgement, but said nothing. She seemed put off by this lack of response and Torin felt a selfish satisfaction he swore he would address in mediation later. He would readily admit he was not perfect.
"Is T'Laan well," she asked. Nia had voiced her sympathy when T'Laan mentioned having to work with Alieth in the same building.
"She is well. She did not wish to have her meal downstairs today," he explained. That tracked. T'Laan was an overly anxious person and the risk of getting sick would be enough to put her on edge and stay in.
"Is Nia well, Torin?" She turned to him now, to his surprise.
"She is currently resting. The clinic has been busy." The safest choice was a truthful non-answer that didn't have enough details for her to latch on to and spin into something.
"I was wondering, perhaps, if I could speak to you about a building design we had in mind."
"All proposals can be sent to me and I will address them during-"
"It is merely an idea," she interrupted. "I would like your professional opinion on the feasibility of a project before we waste valuable resources and time with a proposal." Her reasoning was sound, but something about the conversation didn't sit well with him and he felt his tension headache grow, yet he didn't sense anything out of sorts.
"Fine. But later. First-" the door opened and he clenched his jaw at being interrupted yet again. Thankfully, lunch was being served. A young woman sat covered containers in front of Torin and handed the other 2 to Sevik.
"Thank you." Food in hand, he nodded to Torin and left. Then he was uncomfortably alone with Aleith as others filtered out having received their food.
"I need to take the food upstairs first."
"I will stop by later this evening then, perhaps after dinner?"
His irritation was sudden and he had to clench his hands to stop the choice words that nearly tumbled out of his mouth. Instead, he said "Perhaps. You may stop by, but I cannot guarantee I'll be available." He grabbed the food, confused by his own overreaction that she'd managed to get out of him. The restlessness began to return the longer he was kept from leaving and he found himself struggling to maintain his mental walls.
"Very well. I will come by then. Thank you." Irritated, he nodded politely and went back upstairs feeling mentally off-balance.
Tension left the moment he shut the door behind him, locking it for good measure. He sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head on the door for a moment. A coughing fit from the bedroom snapped him to attention however, and he quickly placed the food on the table and headed back to Nia.
She yawned as he walked in, but she was awake, which gave him hope that maybe the worst of the illness was over. She had dark spots under her eyes and she was pale. Her hair was a knotted mess from tossing in her sleep and sweating with fever. He grabbed water from the end table and sat next to her on the edge of the bed and offered the bottle to her. Smiling, she took it and drank deeply. While sitting up the rattle in her chest wasn't as bad. He reached out through the bond and sensed her easily, warming when she returned his affection. He nearly reached out for her free hand. Sensing his need for closeness and reassurance, she took his hand in hers after carefully placing the water next to her in bed.
"How do you feel?"
"Eh, I've been better." Her voice was hoarse from coughing.
"I'll get you medicine." He stood to retrieve the box of supplies left by the front door.
"I'm okay, I-" She was cut off by another series of deep, barking coughs. Ignoring her protests, he got the box.
He rifled through the various contents until found one for congestion and cough. He poured some into the measuring cup and held it up to her to drink. "I can take medicine myself," she teased.
"Allow me this, t'hy'la." She smiled, but drank the medicine, making a face as she swallowed it. He stood and rinsed the cup before returning it to the box and joining her again.
"Are you cold?" As he asked he placed the back of his hand against her forehead.
"Not anymore, I think my fever is gone."Nodding in agreement, he decided now would be the best time to try and get her to eat.
When he returned with food in hand he was mildly panicked to see she wasn't in bed. Turning, he saw her exit the bathroom. She paused and looked at him oddly.
"I just had to pee. You're very doting today, you've never been this much of a mother hen," she teased. Her breath caught and she swayed slightly with one hand out to steady herself. Torin quickly put the food on the nightstand and helped her back to bed.
"Sorry. I got a little lightheaded," she mumbled.
"Try to stay in bed." He pulled the covers back over her and made sure she was comfortable.
"Are you okay?" Nia asked as he handed her a bowl of rice soaked in warm vegetable broth, spicy enough to clear her nose and throat without pain.
"I am well." He paused and knew he needed to tell her about his mental state; she would sense his hesitation. She'd already noticed a change in his behavior.
She began coughing again, this time nearly gagging from the intensity.
"This sucks," she croaked, trying to catch her breath once she had calmed down.
"I'll check your oxygen after you eat. Please just relax. It…" he felt somewhat embarrassed to admit it, but continued on anyway. "It eases my anxiety when you allow me to take care of you," he admitted.
She reached out, smiling. "Okay. I'll let you fuss over me."
The moment of closeness made him feel far more balanced than he had all day.
"Thank you. Now, eat."
She made a face, but attempted to eat anyway knowing he would only fuss over her more. She'd managed to eat almost all of it before another coughing git exhausted her and she cuddled under the covers with a yawn, her chest crackling with every exhale. He frowned at the oxygen monitor when the numbers showed slightly lower than before, though not enough to warrant oxygen yet. In his effort to "fuss over her," as Nia put it, he'd completely forgotten about his run in with Alieth.
Being excused from work was a blessing and a curse. Nia slept a lot and he couldn't seem to focus on much else.
He'd just ended a call with her father, updating them, when his tablet chimed with a call from the doctor.
"Her results are in." Once again, the doctor did not mince words. "Though, I'm certain you already suspected as much." The doctor seemed more tired than he had before and Torin almost asked him if he'd managed to get any rest. Torin sympathized with him. With Nia out, he only had one nurse. The two of them trying to care for a population of 60 was daunting, especially with the epidemic on the rise. He would try to mention his concern in the next community meeting that they needed more doctors.
"Yes. I know you're busy so I will not take up more time than necessary." Torin sat on the couch again to speak with him.
"First, have you noticed any decline?"
"Her oxygen levels have decreased, but not enough to warrant oxygen use. She is stable. Hopefully easing her symptoms will prevent further dropping. She also woke up long enough to eat lunch."
"That is good." He shuffled some things around before addressing Torin again. "We have found that the illness is a mutated form of Orion lungworm. We are currently studying it since current treatment and vaccinations are proving ineffective against it. Vaccination against the original form could prove to make the cases milder, however, because Nia never received her booster and has not had time to develop an immunity, it is affecting her more severely. It is hardy and highly contagious. You will likely catch it." Torin felt his heart drop at the mention of lungworm. While harmless for humans, it could easily wipe an unvaccinated Vulcan colony. His own grandmother had told him stories from when she was a young child, before the vaccine was discovered and made mandatory. It was devastating, to say the least.
"I have had all my vaccinations and required boosters," he chimed in.
"Good. That will make your case less severe."
"Will the Vulcan embassy send more doctors and supplies?"
The doctor pursed his lips and Torin grew fearful. He was not one to shy away from the point, but he seemed to be debating speaking at the moment.
"Doctors, no. Supplies, yes," he eventually replied. "The colony is in quarantine until further notice. No one enters and no one leaves."
"That…" He tried to find a polite way to say "that is selfish and unethical," but was at a loss. Logically, it was the safest and most reasonable course of action. It would keep it from spreading and decimating already vulnerable and endangered Vulcan populations.
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few," he muttered.
"Precisely."
While Torin accepted it, he still was not happy about it.
"In regards to Nia," the doctor refocused the conversation, "she is at high risk. I would have her stay here in the clinic, however that takes resources from more severe cases when she can be monitored at home. Until we have a treatment or vaccination it is pointless to have her here unless absolutely necessary."
"When should I be concerned if her case is severe enough to come in?"
"When you run out of oxygen," he replied immediately. "If that happens, bring her in immediately." Torin nodded in understanding.
"One more thing, Torin."
"Yes?"
The doctor glanced around for a moment and spoke quietly now.
"Please keep this conversation private. Until a supply ship comes, which won't be for several days, perhaps more if an electric storm strikes, we have a very limited supply of oxygen tanks." A horrible realization began to dawn on Torin as the doctor explained further. "Because of this, we have to take priority into consideration. Nia has medical training and her skills are highly valuable."
He let the doctor's words sink in, trying not to show an external reaction.
"Do you think it will get that bad, doctor?" The doctor pursed his lips, but didn't speak further on the topic.
"Use the oxygen if needed, but once her levels are normal, conserve it." Torin sensed he had his answer and the conversation was over, so he let it drop.
"Yes, doctor."
"If you have no further questions or concerns, I must go."
"I…" he began as the doctor made a move to end the call, but paused. When Torin didn't speak further, the doctor raised an eyebrow at him, his patience waning.
"I believe… my time is approaching." Torin took a deep breath, embarrassed, but relieved to have finally brought it up. At this, the doctor pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, not helping to make Torin feel any better. Once he composed himself, he replied.
"I apologize for my reaction, it was unprofessional. However, I'm sure you understand the timing is…"
Shitty, Nia would say.
"Inconvenient," Torin finished for him.
"Yes," he agreed. He tapped on another tablet near him for a moment.
"This will be your first, yes?" He asked. Torin felt his face flush and he silently cursed his body for conveying his emotions so easily today. He had a new appreciation for his control and new sympathy for humans.
"Yes," he confirmed.
"I will forward you information on what to expect and symptoms to watch for. There is not much we can do except self monitor. I will come by this evening to take a blood sample to evaluate your hormone levels."
"Thank you doctor."
"You seem in control still, so I assume it's still in the early stages. How quickly do you think you are declining? What have you noticed?"
Torin reported the behaviors and mood swings, along with his doting behavior over Nia.
"We can only hope it is progressing slowly until she recovers. All the more reason to find a treatment as quickly as possible. I doubt you are the only one."
"And if she worsens when…" He couldn't stop the question from leaving his mouth, but he regretted it instantly. It left a bad taste and he pushed away the implications. The doctor, once again, took a moment to think before he responded.
"I believe humans have a saying that is appropriate at this moment: 'we will cross that bridge when we get there'." The doctor looked at something on his screen thoughtfully for a moment.
"I have no further questions." He had been able to ignore his headache up to this point, but he was overwhelmed with information and intrusive thoughts about what the next few days held for them, and his head throbbed now.
"Very well. Please keep me updated on both of your symptoms. Goodbye."
The screen went blank. The conversation with the doctor replayed in his mind a few times before he finally managed to snap out of it and stand.
In the bedroom, he quickly changed into his sleepwear, crawled under the covers, and closed his eyes. Just before drifting to sleep, he shifted closer to Nia and threw an arm around her, if only to reassure himself she was still there and breathing.
A/N: I've been struggling a little with this story, but writing in a new perspective has made all the difference! I'm looking forward to where this story is heading. Thank you for reading this far.