The weekend passes in a blur and before I know it I'm back in the office. There has been no response for three days.
Her friend Lily has a studio in the Soho area I can only assume she's there. While waiting for Andrea to forgive me, I sought out this Dan. I offered Elijah a hefty sum to temporarily come out of retirement. The money was well worth it. He had the contact information of not only Dan but some woman named Corissa and the PI I thought I was hiring a young blonde woman named Sam on my desk this morning.
Not sure how the seventy four year old man got in here but per usual I don't ask questions.
I finger the envelope with my free hand as I take a sip of the hot latte. They would all burn for this.
I hear Ashley's voice, 'you can't go in there' followed by a stern 'not now.'
I look up to find Nigel heading toward me he looks angry and I stand. I don't have time for this not this morning not when I am doing everything in my power to keep from imploding.
"What the fuck, Miranda?"
"Well good morning to you as well Nigel."
I make a mental note to fire both assistants.
Hurriedly, I move to the double doors and close them in the faces of the two young women that were now at the threshold. I glare at them through the glass until they move back behind their desks.
"Nigel, what do I owe the honor?"
I side step him heading to my desk. I fell more secure behind it and given that I have an idea of why he's here I need a safety net. I sit waiting.
"You know Miranda we have done some slimy shit in the past to keep the board and Irv off our asses and to keep our jobs but fucking Irv takes the cake. What were you thinking?"
I school my features in what I can only hope is my usual mask of indifference.
"Oh yeah your pregnant wife that you threw out by the way, another what the fuck were you thinking Miranda, told me everything," he sighed looking exasperated, "how could you do that to Andy?"
He removed his glasses and fell ungracefully into one of the chairs in front of the desk.
I stare at him. I am horrified who else knows?
"I..."
I trail off I have no words. All of a sudden I feel dirty and small. A part of me wants to explain the other side the part that I have come so accustomed wants to lash out and remind him that he is a subordinate and shouldn't meddle in my and Andrea's affairs.
But I won't do that, not when I have nothing and no one left. The messages the girls left made it clear they wanted nothing to do with me. I couldn't blame them.
"You have nothing to say." Nigel was now leaning forward the round frame glasses on the bridge of his nose. The anger from before was gone only to be replaced with something I couldn't place.
"Is she okay?" I manage to ask my speech choppy as I hold back tears.
He leans back, "you don't get to ask those type of questions besides you already know the answer."
I look away. He was right I did know.
I sigh.
"I did what I had to do Nigel. He was closing in this time, he would have won and I had no alternatives, no plan. Not to mention Jacqueline was hot on my heels, she was out for blood. What choice did I have?"
He's staring at me, his expression unreadable.
"You should have come to me."
I scoffed, "you were barely speaking to me Nigel. For some reason you are still holding that Paris thing over my head." I wave my hand nonchalantly another bad habit of mine.
"Because I was hurt still am."
"You want me to beg for forgiveness?" I am offended now.
"No Miranda, save the begging for Andy because my God you have a lot to atone for but for me I want an apology."
"An apology?"
"Yes Miranda, apologizing is what friends do when they hurt each other."
I square my shoulders, saying I am sorry would mean that I did something wrong. Oddly, I find no fault in what I had to do in Paris and once back stateside I made sure to promote him including a hefty increase in salary. Was it cruel? Yes. But plans had changed since the last time I had spoken and wished him well with James Holt International. I had to think quickly just as I am now. My mind is racing and I fear I may faint.
My top lip quivers, "I am sorry Nigel."
He leans forward his brow furrowed. He didn't hear me so I speak a little louder.
My friend shakes his head before standing.
"You still don't get it. I've have known you for twenty two years and have been by your side your right hand so to speak. I know when an apology is half ass but I can let Paris slide. But this mess with Andy and this thing with Irv of all the men in the building," he shakes his lips turned down in disgust, "I can't forgive."
He points at me.
"Get your shit together Priestly."
My shoulders drop and I look up at him.
"Wait!" I stand I am fidgeting. He's right, my circle of people I would consider friends is small I don't want to lose him.
"Nigel, please," I point to the sofa, "can we talk?"
His hand falls to his side and he offers me a small smile.
"Yes, Miriam we can."
The talk with Nigel was long overdue although we are not back on late night wine and popcorn terms, but we are in a better place than before and leave the office feeling good about repairing at least one of the relationships in my life.
I arrive at the townhouse the envelope from earlier in my bag and head upstairs to change out of the stiff Chanel suit. Quickly, I shed my clothes and put on a linen lounge set. The house feels so cold without her here and it's moments like this that I am glad I caved and got the girls Patricia. The Saint Bernard has been my one constant through out my martial woes.
She is on my heels as I head down the hall to my office the envelope firmly in hand. I toss it on the desk and head for the bar cart Patricia plops down beside the chair as if she knows that I will spend the evening behind the large glass desk. I pour a hefty amount of scotch drinking half the glass before topping it off again.
I need the numbness I can't cope without it.
I sit and begin going through the information. I start with this Dan the name familiar although I cannot place the name with a face. His address and cell number are at the bottom. I glance over at the clock it's a little after eight and I doubt a man in his profession is asleep at this hour. I pull my cell and unlock it. My hand hovers above the phone app I glance up my eyes falling on a wedding photo of Andrea and myself. I down the scotch and drop the phone onto the desk.
I need another drink.
Some time passes and I have achieved my goal. I am numb.
I am unsure how I got here but I am in the driver's seat of the Porsche. I am aware of the red light but my foot on its own accord pushes down on the gas and I make a quick right nearly missing a young couple that was about to cross the street.
I am not sure how I made it but I am at Dan's.
The intercom buzzes and Dan is momentarily startled he wasn't expecting her for another hour.
Without answering he simply buzzes the person in and cracks his door as he heads back into the kitchen. He hears footsteps as he pulls dinner from the oven.
"Hey, Andy I hope you haven't eaten yet. I made roasted chicken and I have some Merlot from that office party three months ago for me and a Mountain Dew for you."
He chuckled and looks up to find Miranda Priestly glaring at him. Dan can tell the woman is drunk and seething.
"Is this for Andrea?" she asks her eyes watery.
"Mrs. Priestly, please have a seat." He comes around the counter toward her. She takes a wobbly step backward.
"This is your fault!" She hisses.
Dan thinks remembering his cell is on the counter.
"Are you fucking Andrea?"
"Mrs. Priestly, Andy is a wonderful woman but no we are just friends. Nothing more than that."
"I know. She wouldn't do that not to me," she whispers as more tears flow down her cheeks, "I ruined it."
Her eyes are closed and Dan moves slowly toward the counter grabbing his phone in case he needs to call someone. Who the young man is unsure.
"Mrs. Priestly," he's in front of her now but waits until her eyes are open before he tries to guide her to the sofa.
She's staring at him some of the coldness has left her eyes and Dan speaks his hands by his sides.
"I am going to guide you over to the sofa so you can sit down and we can talk. Is that okay Mrs. Priestly?"
She sighed, "Miranda."
Dan nodded, "okay Miranda would you like to sit down?" He gestured toward the small living room area.
She rolled her eyes and went over to the brown worn leather sofa. The older woman hesitated before she finally plopped down with an uncharacteristic grunt.
"God, what am I doing here?" She leaned over elbows on her knees and head in her hands.
Dan fired off a quick text to Andy before placing the cell back in his pocket.
The tall dark skinned man approached and sat on the opposite end and waited. He would let her speak first.
Several minutes passed before she looked at him.
I run my eyes over him. He's a handsome fellow beautiful skin and I wonder briefly if he has considered modeling but I shake off the thought. This is not the time to scout for new talent I am here for answers.
I lean back and give the room a once over now that I am here all of the questions, the anger that I had so carefully crafted before the drive over are gone.
I open my mouth to speak or yell not sure which but I am interrupted by his cell ringing. He looks at me and I can see he is torn between answering and letting it go to voice mail. I roll my eyes and wave my hand. He seems to sigh in relief as he fishes it from his side pocket.
"Hello." He angles away from me slightly.
His breath catches and he looks at me his eyes are wide.
"Lily calm down," he continues to stare at me, "don't worry about trying to find her. She's right here."
I'm starting to get agitated. I won't tolerate being yelled at by some second rate art gallery owner.
"What does Lily want?"
He holds up his finger, I am further annoyed.
"Okay, okay Lily we will be there stay calm." He ends the call and stands.
He looks worried and my heart starts to race, "what is it?"
He takes a deep breath, "it's Andrea she's at Mount Sinai it's the baby..."
Everything is a blur and I don't remember anything I sober up quickly and beat Dan to the door. I am halfway down the hall before he calls out offering to drive me as he locks his front door.
I decline the keys in my hand and hurriedly dash into the drivers seat. I am back to the townhouse in less than fifteen minutes and dress in record time. I would not welcome my son into the world in a linen lounge set from last season and smelling like scotch.
I scream at a receptionist and a nurse before I find someone who is competent enough to point me in the right direction.
I find Lily in the private waiting area. She's talking to Doug by the window. My girls are here too and I feel out of place. They all go silent once they realize I've arrived. They are glaring at me. Lily stands and walks up to me. I'm unsure what to expect.
"Where were you? We called. You are a real bitch you know that. Where were you when she needed you? Were you with your boss? Since Andy's out the house you can go shack up at the penthouse."
My breath hitches and I remember I left my phone in the car at Dan's and I didn't check it once I was back at home.
"No, how dare you," I hiss my blood is starting to boil.
She cuts me off, "no Miranda how dare you? When I got back to the apartment she was on the floor in the bathroom with blood coming from between her legs and before she passed out she asked for you. Despite all of the shit you have done she only thought about you."
Doug has joined her now his hands on her upper arms, "that's enough, sit down. Andy wouldn't want this."
Wouldn't.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks, "how is she? The baby? Please tell me something." I am pleading. I will get down on my knees and beg if necessary.
"You don't care." Lily states shaking her head.
"I do care. I love Andrea."
Saying she hates me would be an understatement and if looks could kill I would be a well dressed dead woman.
Dan has just arrived he's silent clearly reading the tension in the room he heads for a seat off to the side.
"Please that's enough. I'll tell her."
It's Nigel and I don't know when he got here but I am grateful.
"Fine." Lily spits out as Doug guides her back to the couch near the window.
Cassidy races over to me. I automatically reach for her and she steps back. I almost recoil at the amount of hatred shining in her dark green eyes.
"This is your fault! You are the reason she's in here!"
She brushes past me rushing for the door and I call after her. She turns on her heels once again glaring at me.
"No body wants you here!" My youngest runs from the room, Caroline soon follows without so much as a glance in my direction.
I grip the handle of my bag tighter it's the only comfort I have and I begin to sob when I feel hands on my shoulders. I jump slightly and look over to find Nigel staring at me. His gaze is soft and I let myself fall into his arms.
Nigel gently guides me into the hall. We continue down it and away from the war zone. He leaves me alone briefly to inquire about another waiting area. The nurse quickly leads us to another private waiting room before she leaves Nigel speaks.
"Please let the doctors and nurses know that Andrea's wife is here and they are to talk to her only. Understood?"
She nods giving a strong 'yes sir' before she leaves us alone.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I fall into the recliner, "please tell me what happened? Is she okay?"
He sits on the tan sofa.
"They are having to do an emergency c-section. Lily left to go over a block to grab pizza and wings she came back Andy was on the floor in the bathroom she was having contractions and bleeding heavily. Then she passed out. You got here just as they were taking her into surgery so you didn't miss anything."
I'm shaking.
"I could lose them both," I break down, "this is my fault."
"No, don't blame yourself Miranda. Andy knew how risky carrying a child is with her condition."
"Yes, but so do I Nigel and I did this to her. I know how delicate things are and yet I put all of this stress on her. All of the rounds of IVF the hell she put her body through for us to have a child together. "
I'm trying not to have a panic attack. Nigel kneels before me and grasps both of my hands.
"Miranda right now you have to be strong for Andy and your son and your daughters."
"But how can I make amends for this? For everything? What if she doesn't take me back? What if she dies? If they both die I won't forgive myself, I don't know how I would live with myself."
He sighed looking at our conjoined hands momentarily, " hey, don't even think like that. Andy is strong she will pull through. As for making amends there is nothing you can do aside from asking for forgiveness and pray, I mean really pray, that she forgives you and can put it behind her."
I nod. He slowly rises releasing my hands.
"I'm going to go and find some coffee, okay?"
I nod, "okay."