A/N: So I'm seriously considering changing the genre of this story to crack. That is all. Mwahahh.
Thanks to: Dimentio's Epic Girlfriend : Yes yes he is. Thank you! Silver the 13th: YOU WERE MISSED DEAR SIR! Yes Meta KNight is quite adorable under that scary little mask :D THANK YOOU XOX EarthBound Cat: This review brought a smile to my face! Thanks so much :D Azulhada: Aha yes Link is a strange one.. THank yooou :D xoxoxo
Disclaimer: I definitly do not own anything mentioned in this chapter okok you know the drill.
So actually guys. Prepare for randomness in its strangest form. ONWARDS!
After Meta Knight's not so subtle announcements, the Brawlers were even more excited than they had been before, if that was possible. But of course they would be! They were finally getting the opportunity to smash someone's face into the ground! ..And of course they'd get to show off their skills… That was important too…
Anyhow, the front hall of Smash Manor had once again turned deafening. Though unlike last time, where the Brawler's were battling it out for an inanimate object that really had no value whatsoever, they were now preparing to battle each other to their deaths. Or, until the other flew off the stadium with smoke billowing from their behinds. That worked too. It was sort of like an organized chaos you could say.
Pit was hiding behind an oblivious Bowser while he not-so sneakily watched King Dedede's every move, while taking notes in a little writing pad that had appeared in his hand. Red, on the other hand, was trying and failing to understand DK's battle technique while said gorilla was scratching his head and staring at the long dozed off Jigglypuff.
"Ah newbies. It will be great to get back in the arena!" Link said jubilantly, stretching his arms above his head and sitting cross legged on the floor.
"Are you done breaking all those poor vases then? But I do agree. My magic has long been underused!" Zelda smirked lightheartedly before sticking her hand out in front of her and shooting some flames into the air. Unfortunately, one of these flames caught onto Link's former cap, which was now inhabited by numerous Pikmin. How they all fit in there, nobody knows. Anyhow, the cap was steadily flaming up with Pikmin still sitting pleasurably inside. Why they didn't just get up and walk out is not answerable. Olimar, on the other hand, began screaming. And when Olimar screams, people notice.
"AAH. AAH. AAH." He was like a police siren just going on and on while pointing at the flaming cap.
"Oh no! My cap! Zelda what did you do?" Link cried jumping up and running over to Olimar to check is his cap was ok.
"Oh! Well that's not very good! Just give me a moment!" Zelda said reassuringly, while a couple of Pikmin spirits floated up in the air. Olimar just wailed harder. "Ah here we go!" With that, Zelda stuck her arm in front of her and suddenly she shot more fire at the cap, causing the flames to get higher and higher.
"I'm sorry!" Zelda wailed before shooting more fire at the hat, causing more Pikmin spirits to float into the heavens.
"Zelda stop it! Someone get a fire department! Or a sink! Or some water! Hey Red your Pokémon can talk to water right? Right? What do we do?!" Link was verging on hysteria now, his mind slipping off the edge while watching his cap burn. The Hylians had officially lost it. Soon, all but some of the Brawlers were crowding around the hysterical Link, Zelda who was still shooting fire at the cap screaming "I'm sorry!" and the wailing Olimar.
"Hey are we having a bonfire?"
"No I think they're burning a body. Whoever it is, let's hope they rest in peace."
"Obviously not you idiot. They are obviously conducting some sort of ritual. Be respectful."
"Let's all sing the campfire sooooong!"
"It's not a campfire!"
"Charizard, go!"
"NOOOO!"
"I meant Squirtle, I'm sorry I'm sorry!"
"You should try the spell Aguamenti. Though it didn't really help when Harry was trying to get Dumbledore water while he was drinking that cursed potion, it is usually quite reliable." Everyone stared at Ganondorf.
The organized chaos soon turned into actual chaos, which was only to be expected from the Brawlers at Smash Manor. In the end, Kirby turned out to be the savior. While everyone else was either being hysterical or arguing about whether there was an indoor campfire going on, the pink blob had waddled into the kitchen and came out with a mouth full of water. Link's cap had been burned beyond repair and the few remaining Pikmin were probably all traumatized for life. All's well that ends well.
Olimar had returned to his Wing in a sobbing mess, clutching the Pikmin that he had left, brunt cap in hand, with a sympathetic Mr. Game and Watch at his side. Zelda, ordered by Peach, had been sent to her room without dinner, the Princess dropping her head in guilt. Link was jauntily trying to be himself again, though after seeing his hysterical side, no one really wanted to poke the Hero of Time with a ten foot pole for a little while.
"Hey guys, when's dinner?" Ness asked, causing everyone to jump and stare at him. Apparently he, Lucas and Yoshi had arrived at the room while the Pikmins were burning to death.
"Oh yes! Well, Master Hand did say we had the kitchen at our disposal! And of course there is the little town around us. I suppose I could cook tonight if that's ok with everyone?" Peach asked hopefully.
There were a bunch of mutterings and big "Hurrah!" from Mario. Peach took it as a yes.
"I am most definitely not eating anything touched by any of your filthy little hands." Ganondorf stated. With that, he walked to the huge wooden front door and stepped out into the darkness. He probably needed some time alone after his Potteresque outburst.
"Well ok then. I will need some helpers though. Volunteers?" Peach asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes at anyone who would look. Apparently, helping Peach with cooking was a dangerous activity as Mario and Luigi had mysteriously disappeared from the room. The other Brawlers tried to follow suit.
"Stop. Diddy Kong, Samus, Marth and Yoshi. Kitchen." With that, the Princess turned on her heel and walked towards the general direction of the grand Smash Manor kitchen. The four victims followed suit, none having the gall to object the fiery Princess.
"Well I think I'll go and train for a while. First tournament is coming up soon!" Ike said, breaking the silence and walking out of the front hall.
With a squeak of realization, Pit flew out too, his hands already on his bow. Behind him came the rest of the Brawlers, most heading lazily out to one of the many training rooms in the Manor. King Dedede headed out to his room muttering something about his plan on "kicking Bowser off of his high horse." Lucas and Ness were taking a tour of the Manor, while Wario waddled to his quarters in a shed behind the Manor. Meanwhile, in her room, Zelda was trying and failing to undo a spell which had caught her curtains on fire, until she finally came to the realization that she could not produce water, only fire. Zelda went to sleep happy that night.
XXX
In the Smash Manor kitchen
"Now." Peach said, slapping her wooden spoon onto marble counter, looking very professional with a pink chef's hat on her head. "I expect all of you to be sanitary and tasteful. Those are my rules in this kitchen. And also, follow all of my orders. Understood?" Four figures dressed in matching pink aprons stood upright. Or as upright as a Yoshi could stand. "Yes m'aam!"
"But Peach, this really isn't my colour. Could I have a blue apron? It brings out my eyes better!" Marth burst out shakily, as Samus violently elbowed him.
"Ssh Marth! Don't get her angry! Besides, pink brings out your eyes just fine." But it was too late.
"Excuse me? Marth do you not like my tastes?" Peach asked calmly, fire burning in her eyes.
"U-um w-well you see.." Marth started, while Diddy and Yoshi sent him violent hand gestures to tell him to just shut up. It didn't work.
"Well Marth, if you are so against my tastes, why don't you show me how well you can cook huh? You're on onion duty. Get out of my sight." Peach said nastily, pointing towards a dismal corner of the kitchen where a cutting board and a pile of onions were stacked up. Peach could definitely give Gordon Ramsay a run for his money.
"Samus, you're on salad. Diddy, on pasta, Yoshi on sauce. Now why are you just standing there? Move it!" The three remaining "volunteers" flinched and ran to their designated stations, working frantically. Peach smiled evilly before giggling. Even Princesses need breaks, you know.
XXX
A random training room
"Yah! Huh! Ha!" Ike grunted as he slashed at a dummy with his sword, Ragnell. "Hii-ya!" With that, the poor dummy rolled to the floor. Ike smiled. He wasn't that rusty.
"Wow you're good. Are people from Altea just naturally great swordsmen or are you and Marth just special?" Fox commented as he walked past Ike's training room. Ike flushed in pleasure.
"Well first of all I'm not from Altea. Secondly, I don't know about Marth, but I've been professionally trained." Ike said trying to sound non-chalant. "What about you and Falco? How're your skills?"
Fox suddenly smiled evilly as Falco appeared at his side. "I'm so glad you asked. Falco, Ike here wants to see our skills. Why don't we give him a demo?" Falco smiled evilly back at Fox.
"Of course!"
15 minutes later
Ike decided never to ask Fox and Falco to show off their skills again. Ever. Behind him, the training room door stood on its hinges with a few holes through it, opening to a smoking training room. Inside the yelps of two much trained gun handlers could be heard. Ike sighed. Never again.
XXX
Somewhere in the town outside the Smash Manor
Ganondorf walked leisurely along the dark town road as he finished munching on the sandwich in his hands. After very dramatically leaving the Smash Manor after refusing to eat the food served by those imbeciles, Ganon had gone on a tour of the town, stopping by a small café where he managed to grab a few sandwiches. By grab, he meant smashing through the petite window, threatening the poor little Koopa who worked there and walking away with half a dozen sandwiches in his hulking arms. The King of Darkness life was good.
Suddenly, Ganon's leisurely walk was disrupted as he tripped over a piece of paper. How that was possible, nobody knows. Anyhow, Ganon was about to curse the paper to a smoldering heap before he caught sight of its title.
WIZARD CONVENTION.
Intrigued, Ganon bent down to read this curious piece of paper, before whipping around a few times to make sure nobody was near.
WIZARD CONVENTION.
ARE YOU SURROUNDED BY MUGGLES WHO JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND? WELL THEN COME TO THE WIZARD CONVENTION! HELD AT OUR OWN LITTLE "LEAKY CAULDRON" (THE DINER) YOU CAN MEET UP WITH WIZARDS JUST LIKE YOU! COSPLAY IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. TO BE HELD ON WEDNESDAY THE 24TH. MISCHIEF MANAGED XXX
Ganondorf was very thankful that there was nobody around to hear his little shout of glee. Cosplay is very highly recommended…..
A/N So the kitchen scene is pretty much my reaction to Hell's Kitchen coming back ok. In othe news,, did anyone noticce the teeny tiny bit of Smarthus I put in there? HOHOHOHO. What shall become of Ganon's wizarding convention? What about Olimar's Pikmin? I'm extremely sorry for the crack/randomness ok. Please review :D