A/N SEMI HIATUS IS OVER! Well that felt like a life time! I really do apologize but really the only excuse I have is life, oops. Also, extreme writers block. I have rewritten this chapter like four times and each time it sucked even more so. And it turned out to be quite the monster. Long chapter is long.

Thanks to: EarthBound Cat: Aha why thank you! randomness is my forte :) Pokemaster94: I KNOW IM SORRY I JUST. Ahahah yes I agree :) Guest: WOW I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT BUT ITS BEEN FIXED OK I APOLOGIZE ALL FIRE EMBLEM FANS. Thirteenth Silver: DON'T CHEW ON THE PIKMIN GIRL OLIMAR WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD. I'M LAUGHING SO HARD; writing Ganon doing cosplay has always been a dream of mine ;) Dimentio's Epic Girlfriend: He definitly seems to be doing a lot of that lately ohohoho

Right, so this fic is turning into crack, crack and even more crack but its not a crack fic I swear ok. THERE WILL BE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. IT IS LAW.

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING SIGH

The halls of Smash Manor seemed to shine with pride as the first day of tournaments finally approached. Whispers of "the first tournament!" could be heard everywhere you turned, but really that was just Pit flying around and muttering to himself. Training rooms were filled with competitors eager to get a last session in, while the rest of the manor was alive with activity, everyone restless to see the famous Brawl stadium. But, considering this was the Smash Manor, there were always a couple of competitors going against the grain; in this case, it was Bowser.

"I can't believe this. Me, Bowser, not chosen for the first tournament? What is this? And I had just finished waxing my shell too!" the Koopa King was whining, as a hesitant Popo and Nana sat on either of his sides.

"Um," said Popo as he hesitantly went to pat the pouting Bowser's arm.

"Er," replied Nana, who was equally as awkward. They were daredevils/bodyguards, not therapists! This definitely wasn't in the job description.

"I've got it! I'll just ruin the tournament! Ohoho, that'll definitely get Nintendo's attention. Get outta here you two, scram! I've got scheming to do," Bowser shouted, suddenly enthusiastic. After uttering his famous evil "Bahahah" he grabbed both Nana and Popo by the scruffs of their necks and threw them out of the Mushroom Kingdom Wing.

"Well that was a close one eh Popo? What say you and I go check out that huge banister down in the front hall? What do you say?" Nana asked excitedly as she and Popo raced down the hall.

"Extreme." Popo agreed and then the two were off, not to be seen for a while.

XXX

"Yah! Hi-yah! Take that!"

"Will you keep it down in there? Some of us aren't even competing in the tournament you know, and frankly your loudness is quite inconsiderate."

"Er, sorry Red."

XXX

There was a staring match happening in the middle of the Smash Manor dining hall and poor Link was in the middle of it. It had all started a few minutes ago, when Zelda, who had recovered from her previous identity crisis, had finished training and had came into the dining hall for a healthy snack before the tournament started. Being the princess of Hyrule, Zelda was told to promote healthy living and exercise so on her way to the hall, she had made it quite obvious that she was about to go have a nutritious snack. It was for the people, really.

"Here I am, Princess Zelda of Hyrule, walking to the kitchen to fetch myself a healthy snack!" Zelda had cried slowing her pace as she walked past the dawdling Fox and Falco.

"Are you endorsing something or..?" Fox had started, looking at the princess skeptically.

'Oh no Fox, not at all! I'm here to promote healthy living! I suggest you start getting on this path of enlightenment as soon as possible, seeing as your battle with Samus is to begin in a few minutes! And, ah, I think you'll probably need an extra push to get rid of that pot-belly of yours." Zelda had announced, staring judgingly at Fox's apparent "pot-belly".

"Excuse me? I don't have a pot-belly! I'm the leanest creature in this dump. Isn't that right Falco?" Fox had sneered staring Zelda down as the princess stared innocently back.

"Yea, absolutely, Pilot of Starfox, you rock. Four for you Fox, you go Fox." Falco had answered absently, his mind otherwise occupied by the rubix cube in his feathers.

"Hear that Zelda? Your prissy princess body is nothing compared to this." Fox had said triumphantly, twirling a bit to show off "this".

Zelda glared. "Well Fox, I guess we'll just have to find out today, during your battle. In the mean time, enjoy some healthy snacks!" Zelda slipped back into her "happy-go lucky I-promote-healthiness-woo!" attitude and left, leaving Fox and a preoccupied Falco behind her.

"Hey Fox, you do know that your versing Samus today right? With the lasers and the explosives and such? And if you're planning on competing against Zelda, she can turn into that Sheikah with the red eyes and needles? Did you think about that?" Falco noted suddenly, eyes still focused on his rubix cube. Fox paled.

"Oh. Well, no problem I can still deal with it. I am the pilot of StarFox, after all. Where did you get that rubix cube from, anyways?" Fox said rather shakily.

"Oh, I borrowed it from Luigi, he says it calms him or something"

"And by 'borrowed' you mean stole right?"

"Yup."

XXX

After her encounter with Fox, Zelda had continued her journey to the dining hall, where a healthy snack was surely waiting. Oh, who was she kidding, she was heading towards Peach's freshly baked cannolis, which Mario had insisted upon her baking.

"I need-a true Italian-a food-a to keep me going-a!" Mario had cried, much to the happiness of most of the Brawl competitors. Anyways, Zelda didn't need an apple weighing her down during her battle.

"Prissy Princess body my foot. I'll show that pot-bellied fox. I'll show them all." She muttered rather evilly as she arrived in the dining hall, which thankfully, was empty. It would seem that Zelda had the urge to prove herself to the Brawl competitors after her earlier mishap with Olimar. Speaking of the little astronaut, he was sitting in the dining room as well, his little arms wrapped protectively around a mug of strawberry lemonade. Huh.

Zelda, preoccupied with her search for Peach's cannolis, hadn't noticed the little guy's presence.

"Ugh, that fool Wario must have taken the lot of them. Curse him." Zelda sighed as she reached for an apple, her eyes straying across the supposedly empty dining hall. She froze as she focused on the astronaut's little helmet.

"Um, Olimar hi! It's me, Princess Zelda! How are you? You don't mind if I sit down do you? See, I'm just eating healthy, yum apples!" Zelda had cried enthusiastically, her words laced with guilt as she took a seat across from Olimar. The astronaut remained silent.

"Er, nice weather we're having right? Back in Hyrule, our land was stuck in Twilight for ages! It sucked, let me assure you. Don't worry though, Link saved us. You know Link right? Yea, Link…" Zelda rambled, her eyes trained on Olimar, who sat as still as ever.

"Speak of the devil!" Zelda cried suddenly, as said Hero of Time sauntered into the dining hall.

"Um."

"Hey Link, we were just talking about you! Have a seat! Me and Olimar here, we're just bonding a bit, you know." Zelda said, all smiles, as she ushered Link to the seat next to her. Olimar remained silent.

"Um." Said Link. Wasn't he great at keeping up conversation?

After a few more awkward beats of silence, which consisted of Zelda staring hopefully at Olimar, the little astronaut finished his strawberry lemonade, walked over to Link, plucked off his newly arrived green hat, and walked out of the room, his two remaining Pikmin following. Zelda buried her head in her hands.

"Mother of Din, what do I have to do to get that guy to forgive me? What do I have to do?"

"Um."

XXX

Marth was having quite the troublesome time. His tiara- crown actually, very manly crown- just wasn't sitting right atop his head.

"This is so bothersome! Honestly, I look fine without this heinous thing, but noo, Nintendo insists that it "completes my look". As if my look needs completing?" Marth muttered to himself grudgingly, twisting his crown upon his perfectly styled hair.

"Having trouble with your tiara, Marth?" a mocking voice suddenly said, jerking Marth out of his reverie on getting his crown just right.

"It's a headdress, peasant." Marth retorted, not even turning to face the door, where a smirking Samus leaned.

"Yes because every man needs his headdress to be perfect before battle." Samus responded, in her usual sarcastic manner, tapping her metal-encased fingers on Marth's bedroom wall.

Marth rolled his eyes, but didn't bite. "What are you doing here anyways? We all know you're a girl under that armor now Samus, you can't just come strolling into a guy's room anymore; I mean I wouldn't mind but-"

"Oh shut up, She-Man. I came to fetch Ike for the tournament, and he asked me to call you too. And I'm in my armor because Nintendo wants me to be recognizable at first." Samus retorted tapping her fingers even harder against Marth's wall. "Well then, let's get going shall we? Ike's waiting outside."

"Tell him to go on, I can make my way myself." Marth said sourly as he adjusted his cape and twirled a bit in front of his full length mirror. It was a necessity, really.

"What have you got against that poor kid anyway? He's a catch; Peach is one of his many admirers." Samus commented curiously as Marth groaned.

"I don't see how that's any of your business. If I come with you two, would you leave it?" Marth sighed, as he took one closer look at himself before attaching his trusty sword Falchion to his hip and sauntering towards Samus.

"Hey, I don't care less. Come on, we'll be late. And I can't be late if I want to kick Fox's sorry butt and win this whole tournament."

"I don't know about that Samus, I think I have this in the bag." A grinning Ike commented as Marth and Samus exited the Fire Emblem Wing. He nodded politely to Marth, who stuck his nose up in the air.

"Hey slow down there newbie, you obviously have no idea how this works. I win. You lose." Samus chuckled as the threesome made their way to the centre of the Manor, where the portal to the Brawl Stadium was located.

"Sorry to burst both of your bubbles but I think we all know who's going to win this tournament." Marth said suddenly, as the three approached the portal.

"Who, Jigglypuff?"

"Yup."

XXX

"Is the stadium scary, Ness? I don't want Yoshi to get scared you know." A nervous Lucas commented, as his little crew lay sprawled on the Smash Manor lawn. Yoshi made an indignant noise from his spot next to Ness.

"Nah, it's not bad. It's pretty cool actually. Last tournament a town from Earthbound was there too! I'm sure you'll like it. Besides, Yoshi's been in these tournaments before Lucas. It's alright to be nervous you know." A wise Ness responded turning to face his companions. Back in Melee, he'd been a toddler more or less, but after a series of adventures and a mishappened portal, Ness seemed to have grown up.

In response, Lucas grinned. "No, I'm alright. I just can't wait!"

"Hear, hear!" A voice shouted beside Lucas, making the small boy jump. Ness shot a glare at said voice, which happened to belong to a sheepish Pit.

"Hear, hear!" Pit repeated, in a whisper, taking a seat next to the crew. "Hi everyone, I'm Pit! I can't wait for the tournament to start either!"

"Neither can I!" Red had joined the little group as well, sitting cross legged on the grass. "I heard that the stadium is going to have even more arenas to travel to! It's going to be great."

"Who do you think is going to win the first tournament?" Pit said in a hushed voice, as if afraid that any of the competing Brawlers would be offended. It was an angel thing.

"I have my money on Link. Or maybe even Fox, actually." Ness noted, not bothering to lower his voice.

"Kirby, I think."

"Samus, no competition."

"You lot are a group of idiots!" A voice suddenly shouted, causing the little group to raise their heads in alarm. "Obviously I, King Dedede, will be the winner." Said King plopped down on the grass as well. This was turning into some party.

"Excuse me Mr. King Dedede, but you aren't even competing in this tournament!" Pit noted, staring innocently up at the walrus.

"Oh. I guess my head has been stuck in scheming for a while then. Well, then Ike. Ike absolutely." Dedede said, slapping his head lightly for good measure.

"Would you all care to put money on that-a" Wario cried, making a sudden appearance. The group inched away a bit.

"None of us actually have any money you dolt." Red deadpanned. Everyone inched away from him too.

"Oh."

"Ness-a! Blonde! Yoshi! Pit! Red-a! Wario! It's time for the tournament! Mamma-mia Peach will kill us all if we're late!" Mario's voice pierced the air of the Smash Manor yard. Immediately, the group got up, dusting themselves off before making the trek to the centre of the Smash Manor.

"Have-a any of you seen my-a rubix cube-a?" Luigi, who was also with Mario, asked meekly. The group shook their heads solemnly. Well, except for Wario.

"You want a rubix cube-a? Wario can get you a rubix cube! For a price of course!"

"Shut up."

"Oh."

XXX

"It's time DK. My first tournament! I can't wait." Daddy Kong said excitedly as the two monkeys mad their way to the portal.

"Don't be nervous Diddy. Though your time is not today I am sure you will uphold the name of the Kong family. I believe in you." Donkey Kong responded sagely, patting his new tie to his chest. It seemed that grand events made DK quite sage like. Huh.

"I will not let you down!" Diddy said obediently, saluting for DK. The two high fived and made their way through the portal, not noticing two figures at the hallway corner.

"All I heard were "Monkey noises, monkey noises." Fox noted, still pale after his encounter with Zelda.

"Same."

XXX

Meta Knight flew solemnly above the halls of the empty Smash Manor, wallowing in self pity, even taking a few moments to recite a few lines of poetry.

"And I fly, alone and darkness pierces my heart. Meta Knight." Meta Knight recited, his wings gliding silently, as one of his stubby hands bent back to pat himself on the back. "That was a good one Meta, you are getting better."

After Meta Knight's earlier evil act of reading aloud the List, he had disappeared back into the shadows, careful to avoid any contact with the Brawlers, a certain pink blob especially. Meta Knight shivered at the thought. The little beast had caught him exposed. Exposed.

Refusing to return to the DreamLand Wing where Kirby was surely present, Meta Knight had begun to nest on the rafters of Crazy Hand's elaborate room. It was certainly a downgrade from the Halberd, but it was better than facing the evil pink thing, surely.

"And the Halberd was due to get a makeover too! Woe resides in every corner of my being. The only joy squashed like an ant by the Man. Meta Knight." Meta recited again, dropping his head and continuing to glide, carefully avoiding the Brawl stadium portal. Since it was the first tournament, all Brawlers were told to be present but since Meta Knight dint even want to be here in the first place, he presumed he had a free pass.

"Hey you revolting excuse for a creature, who are you talking to? I, Ganondorf, King of Darkness, demand you tell me. Are you conversing with some inhumane spirit, hoping to take over this sorry place? Because if so, you have the Darkness on your side." A voice cried suddenly, as Meta froze mid flight and turned to face the hulking figure of Ganondorf himself.

"Not at all, it is just I, Meta Knight flying solemnly, alone." Meta Knight responded gloomily, preparing to turn and fly away. That was enough socializing for one day.

"Stop! Where are the rest of the imbeciles? I must know, speak now!" Ganon demanded. Politeness never was his forte.

"At the stadium, I presume. The first tournament is today; where have you been, under a rock?" Meta Knight snapped smoothly, turning away from the hulking man.

Ganon tensed. No, he had not been under a rock, but rather, he had been out collecting the pieces for his cosplay which was to take place in few days time. Though he would never tell the flying blob that. Instead, he went for, "How dare you speak to me like that! I demand you, take me to this stadium and perhaps I won't teach you a lesson!"

"Fine."

"Good."

XXX

"Why is it so dark in here? Mario, Mario this would be a good time for your flames you know." Peach's voice cried out. She had just stepped through the portal to the stadium, sniffing at the fact that she was the only one there on time. "Punctuality is of the essence" she had reprimanded Mario when he had arrived, followed by a ragtag group of Brawlers. From the distance she saw a distraught Zelda and Link approaching, closely followed by Marth, Ike and Samus. With a quick wave, she stepped into the portal and was transported to an area of complete darkness.

"Mario!" Peach cried out again, as she heard scuffling and a few yelps of "That was my foot you absolute swine." It would seem that the rest of the Brawlers had arrived as well.

"Now, now there is no need for that Princess! For I, Crazy have arrived!" Suddenly bright lights erupted around them as the Brawlers came face to face with the visage of Crazy and an arena that drew many gasps from the crowd.

'Yes yes calm down everyone, we are running late on schedule. As you can see, the stadium is quite majestic, blah blah yes every white and wow so many portals! Who cares?" Crazy yelped, otherwise focused on a piece of paper.

The Brawlers gasped again as they faced the stadium which was a lot more than just majestic. It was a gigantic circular room, strongly resembling the Pokémon Stadium, the floor coppered with many, many portals. The walls were covered with curious looking glass pods, weapons, fans and even brightly colored spheres that almost seemed alive. The stadium itself was quite plain, just a white area with a sandbag situated in the centre, but what drew the Brawlers attention most was the high end technologies that made it up. There were huge screens with different realms upon them, of Peach's castle and even one off a new one Mario exclaimed as "Delfino Plaza!" Blinking buttons flickered aimlessly as Koopas and Goombas ran around checking and re checking and checking again.

"Oh stop it, as if none of you have seen an arena before. Oh put your hand down Ike! Ok, so first tournament, good impression, blah blah blah. Now! Link here. Mario there. You will both be transported to a surprise destination and from there on, you know what to do. The rest of you competing, stay out here. You can watch them competing from these screens." Crazy gestured vaguely to a giant screen near the end of the stadium, where seats were set up like a very large cinema. "Now, usually, you guys will not attend every single match but since today is the very first one you all have to be present. So, everyone will sit upon this throne like chairs and you will be presented." Crazy pointed to the end of the arena, where many grand chairs were set up, earning approving nods from Marth and Peach. Crazy continued, muttering. "As if I, Crazy, can do something like this? Like come on? Do I look like I can do this? Do I? Anyways. The stadium will transport you all to our first destination, where there will be a large crowd so don't get stage fright or I will end you. Got it? Anyways, Master Hand will play this big documentary, blah blah, and then you will each stand up and blah blah IT'S SIMPLE. Ok, go!" Crazy finished in one breath ending with his signature crazy laugh, sending the Brawlers running.

"Zelda! Zelda do I go here? Here?' Link cried, as he ran to his designated portal. "Here my friend! Here" Mario cried out helpfully as the two stood across from each other in the centre of the stadium.

Jigglypuff, Kirby, Zelda, Peach, Samus, Fox, Marth and Ike stood off to the side, seating themselves in the cinema area, Kirby even bringing out a large bag of popcorn. The rest of the straggling Brawlers scrambled to the throne like chairs where, after fumbling with their name tags for a bit, they each took their designated seats.

"Why are there empty seats? There aren't supposed to be empty seats! Oh Ganondorf, oh Meta Knight, where for are thou? Oh there I see you! Hurry hurry!" Crazy screamed, as Ganon strolled in, followed by a sulking Meta Knight who tried and failed to sneak away.

"Where's Bowser, has anyone seen Bowser? Bowser!" Crazy cried into the heavens, as if hoping that Bowser had died and would answer his call from the skies.

"I'm here." King Dedede bragged, as he earned a quick flick from Crazy, who was frankly, going even crazier.

"You, Ice Climber 1 and 2, where is the Bowser?"

"We don't knooow!" The Ice Climbers responded loyally, patting themselves on the back for their unison.

"Ok whatever. We have to go. Now, the stadium will transport you all to the first destination. Buckle up kids! Goombas Koopas, go go go go!"

With that, everything turned white as the stadium suddenly disappeared and was replaced by a pale blue sky. The Brawlers were still seated on their thrones (though Link and Mario had disappeared from their portals at the centre of the stadium floor) but they were not alone. Around them were crowds and crowds of screaming people; their voices echoing throughout the newly open stadium.

"Welcome everyone! To the first tournament of Super Smash Bros Brawl!"

A/N THE FIRST TOURNAMENT DIDN'T EVEN START YET OOPS I APOLAGIZE GUYS WRITING THE BRAWLS MAKES ME NERVOUS. WHERE IS BOWSER? WHO WILL BE VICTORIOUS? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO FOX'S POT BELLY? HOW WILL GANON'S COSPLAY PLAY OUT? FIND OUT NEXT TIME OHOHOHO. Also, Ganon and Meta Knight may be my new brotp, hmm. So, I would also very much appreciate it if you guys would suggest any ships you would like included I have some in mind, but that is for the FUTURE WOO. I hope you guys enjoyed, your reviews make my day :))

In other news, I started rewatching one of my favourite animes of all time, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and IT HAS GOT ME CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.

Please RnR :)