They arrived at the headquarters early in the morning parking the TARDIS within four blocks of the entrance. The building was a massive marble structure of stone and glass built in layers like a crystal lotus opening into the sky. The entire complex was encased in a dome to ensure atmospheric balance to house the headquarters and employee living quarters on the planet. The Nature Conservancy had started modestly four hundred years ago to address the destruction of wild habitat on Earth. After the growth of space travel and alien contact, it had grown to be a major force in the protection of planets and their native populations from exploitation. It was headquartered on the planet Mirar in the Klaxon system. The planet's ecosystem had been devastated by commercial exploitation and wars leaving its air poisoned, its oceans churning a chemical stew, and its land pocked by radioactive deserts. The Conservancy was using terra-forming technology, organic air filtration, and other techniques to slowly bring it back to health. It was the Conservancy's best symbol of both as a warning and a symbol of its mission of prevention and reconstruction.

As they entered the building, a guard checked his lists. Mara was directed to the medical meeting on the first floor, while Ajit joined the technicians in the computer and technology complex in the basement. Jack and Gray went to the third floor where the search and rescue components were meeting the various military squads for orientation. Heads turned as the Captain made his way through the crowd, and laughter erupted as he reconnected with old friends. Jens took the elevator to the administrative top floor and was directed to the office of Captain Scott McGrath.

Jens politely knocked on the door, and was asked to enter. Colonel McGrath was a tall, lean soldier of about thirty-eight, his curly blonde hair tamed by a military buzz cut. He cut a fine form in uniform, earned from decades of martial arts training. The captain smiled as he stepped from behind his desk, gave a warm handshake, and directed the Time Lord to a set of black leather chairs near the window. He picked up a file from his desk and brought it with him.

"It's been a long time Jen," Scott smiled. "Or I should correct myself, it's Jens now right? Lots of changes since I saw you last."

Jens nodded thoughtfully. "How long has it been? Eight, ten years?"

"You were with that time agent, Kanaii then. Mostly search-and-rescue. And you were…'

"A woman." Jens looked at him thoughtfully, remembering that he once took a fancy to her at that time.

McGrath knew Jen was in a committed relationship and continued to flirt, but pulled back when Kanaii was around. He wouldn't want to be on the bad side of a Time Agent. After her death, Scott had made overtures, but they lost touch over the years after he accept new postings with each promotion. It was also before Jack Harkness blew away the competition. How was the Colonel now taking in the fact of this regeneration into a different gender, and the revelation that the woman he knew was never human?

"Yeah, that was a shocker." The colonel shifted in his chair and picked up the file. "I see Doctor Mara Kincaid is on your team. Good choice. How is that strange assistant doing?"

"He's young, but capable," Jens said evenly.

"I see you have Harkness," Scott said with a tone of disgust. "And his brother? Gods, there are two of them."

Jens felt a flush of anger, but controlled it. "Is there a problem?"

"A bit of a wild card, that one." He continued to exam the documents. "I was in UNIT before I transferred to the Conservancy. The Captain is quite the legend on Earth. My security clearance level gave me access to his file."

Jens' eyes narrowed. "I thought his file was classified on a need to know basis."

"I had clearance," he muttered and then looked sharply at Jens. "I'm not surprised you were with him when you were shot. He seems to be bulletproof, but everyone he is involved with tends to die young."

"I understand that UNIT also had a file on my father, the Doctor," Jens said coldly. "Any problems with Time Lords?"

"No, no," the Colonel hastily replied. "There was some question in the beginning contacts, but he is considered quite an asset now. In fact, he may have some useful information for this mission, but we haven't been able to get a hold of him."

"He is with our daughter, Toshi." Jens absently looked out the window, wondering how much he should tell this man. "He is teaching her about the Gallifreyan culture. Do you want me to try and get in touch with my father?"

"No, no." McGrath continued to leaf through the file. "I think we have enough information to start the mission. We'll go over that tomorrow in the general session."

"Have you met Jack?" asked Jens, fighting to keep his voice even.

"Yeah, once at an officer's party. He made a pass. I decked him."

Jens started to stand. "Are we going to have a problem working together? If so…"

The Colonel held up his hands in a calming motion. "Please sit down, as long as I deal with you calling the shots for the team, we'll be fine. I just question the man's judgment. He sacrificed his grandson, for god's sake."

Jens paled. "What are you talking about?"

Colonel Scott looked up in surprise. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Captain Harkness killed his own grandson to complete a mission."

Jens fell silent. The Captain had lived so many lives before they met. He knew it was difficult for Jack to talk about his past. The Time Lord chose not to press his lover for the details, waiting for Jack to tell him about his past in his own time, when he was ready. He knew that Jack laid flowers on Steven's grave when he visited Earth, but knew little more about the child.

"Is there anything else, we need to discuss?" asked Jens abruptly.

"Yes." The Colonel thumbed through his file then looked up. "I have very little on the brother."

"Gray is a new member to the team," Jens replied. "He is capable and works with Jack." He decided to give the minimum information to Colonel McGrath.

"Just keep an eye on him," McGrath responded. "If he is anything like his brother, I don't want to deal with another impulsive prat to cock it up. This is a team effort. Lives depend on following the chain of command."

"Anything else?"

"No," the Colonel said as he stood up. "I've sent the preliminary data to you electronically so you can access it on your communications tablet. We'll meet with the whole group tomorrow at 0900 and will brief you all then." He reached to shake the Time Lord's hand. Jens rose and took it firmly.

"We'll see you then." Jens turned and walked out of the office.

He was directed by the secretary to wait in third floor cafeteria until the rest of his team was out of their meetings in about two hours. He reviewed the files the Colonel sent him, but his mind kept drifting back to their conversation about Jack. He did a quick search on the 4-5-6 incident on Earth and read through the non-classified documentation.

Mara was the first to meet him after her meeting. She was bubbling with information about new medical techniques and an updated data pool on alien physiology. Ajit soon joined them and laid out the communication grid and channels they were expected to follow during the operation. Finally Jack and Gray arrived, so Jens ordered pizza for the team. Jack brought a flow chart showing the various teams that would be working together. The operation was much bigger than they thought. Apparently the raiders had hit several star systems earlier. Gray sat quietly watching them all interact, adding little to the conversation.

After they returned to the TARDIS, they updated the data on their respective stations during the rest of the afternoon. During dinner, Jack entertained them with stories about some of the soldiers he met at the meeting. Some were colleagues from previous missions, and some, Jens guessed by the intimate details, were former conquests of the flirtatious Captain. After the dishes were washed and put away, the team retired for the night hoping to get an early start tomorrow.

Jens was quiet when he returned to their room. He undressed, turned off the light, and slipped into the bed. Jack came in a half hour later, undressed quietly, and slipped into bed behind him. As he drew his arms around the Time Lord, he could tell Jens was still awake.

"Can't sleep?" Jack shifted his body behind the him. He could feel the tension in his lover's muscles as he began to rub his back. "Are you worried about the mission?"

Jens said nothing as he felt the Captain's strong hands move to his shoulders and neck.

"A little tight here," Jack murmured as he finished the massage. Jens allowed Jack to pull him on his back and against his shoulder as he nuzzled his ear. "Come on, talk to me."

Jens stayed silent for awhile, weighing his words. "Tell me about Steven," Jens said softly. "Tell me about your grandson."

Jack tensed and said nothing. Finally he took a deep breath. "What have you heard?"

"I want you to tell me," Jens said softly. He looked up as Jack avoided his eyes.

Finally the Captain spoke, "It was when I lost Ianto, during the 4-5-6 invasion."

Jack pushed away, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. Jens followed the motion and wrapped his arms around the Captain's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"It's McGrath, isn't it? He worked for UNIT."

"This is not about McGrath, it's about us," Jens said quietly. He kissed the back of his neck. "Come on Jack, talk to me."

"I don't want to remember," Jack turned to face Jens. "It was one of the worst times of my life."

"Then trust me," Jens persisted. "Talk to me."

The Captain looked away, and there was a long silence. They could hear the hum of the TARDIS systems as the night progressed. Under their door was the soft the reflection of a string of dim night lights that dotted the corridor. Jens had arranged them to make the team comfortable in case they needed to make their way to the kitchen for a snack. All the doors to the other rooms were shut so each guest had privacy.

"I thought I could lock away all the bad memories in boxes, at least that's what the Time Agency taught me." Jack looked back at Jens with an anguished look.

Jens reached and touched Jack's cheek for a moment. He pulled him closer and whispered, "I've only scratched the surface, haven't I?"

Jack looked down, and shivered a bit.

"Come closer," Jens said as he pulled the Captain against his body, and adjusted the quilt around him. "You're cold." He settled back and began to rub the Captain's arms.

Jack eyes glazed with the memory. "It was the buses, thousands of buses bringing school children from all over the world to the pickup points for the 4-5-6. Alice had convinced the military to let me explore the frequencies in one last effort to stop them. That's when I realized it."

Jens pulled him closer.

"That's when I realized we needed a child to broadcast the sound to other children. One voice to defeat them." Jack's eyes teared with memory. "Stephen was the only one there. I tried to think of another way, but.."

"No more," Jens kissed the Captain. "I've heard enough."

"He trusted me, Jens," Jack continued. "Right to the end, he trusted me. Even when the…the sound started and he started to shake and his nose began to bleed…"

"No more," Jens whispered. "Let it go."

"Then his ears began to bleed," Jack closed his eyes, "I can still see it."

"Let it go, there was no other way." Jens could feel him tremble and pulled him closer. "Let it go, Steven was brave, like his grandfather. His sacrifice…your sacrifice saved millions."

"Steven had no choice!" Jack's breath was quick and shallow, trapped in memory. "Alice…my daughter never forgave me. And the rest of them—the government, UNIT, the Doctor… all looked away." Jack pressed his eyes tightly shut. "A monster.. I became a monster."

The Time Lord moved to envelop the grieving man, kissing him on the top of his head, resting there.

"I forgive you." Jens whispered. "We forgive you."

"Can anyone who takes the life of a child be forgiven?" Jack whispered and then went silent.

Jens held him close until the trembling subsided, but he could tell Jack was struggling to contain the grief and guilt he felt.

"Is this what you meant by boxes? Places to store the memories of pain so you can function?"

"Yes," Jack whispered hoarsely.

"Can I see them?" Jen asked quietly.

Jack hesitated, looking away.

Jens asked gently, "Do you trust me to use my telepathy wisely?"

Jack was quiet, then looked up into his lover's eyes, "You might not like what you see."

"Trust me," Jens whispered as he kissed him on the ear.

Jack was silent again, then turned and nodded.

Jens shifted in bed so Jack could turn on his side as he curled around him. He positioned his hands over Jack's ears and temples.

"I want you to close your eyes, and go into that space," he said softly. "Go into where you build the boxes, and I will follow."

The Time Lord closed his eyes and quietly entered landscape of his lover's mind. He could see the Jack in the same position in the middle of a grassy meadow at the edge of a long beach. He could hear the sound of the tide and smell a light salt breeze. The sun warmed his skin. Open memories of adventure and joy coiled around the trees like ribbons in easy access. He touched one. It opened to a father and two young boys playing on a sandy beach while a woman watched on the bluff above. He closed it and moved to another one that opened into another of Jack soaping up an eager young man in a shower. He grinned as he closed it, leaving the passion private.

He smiled and whispered in Jack's ear. "You have a fertile imagination my friend."

Jack gave him a wan smile. "That's what they tell me."

As Jen began to explore, he came across the first box near the Captain. It glittered in the sun like crimson crystal, quivering as Jens touched it. He felt Jack's muscles tense.

"Don't."

Jens pulled back his hand. "Is this the one you repaired for Steven?"

Jack nodded.

"Kenaii talked once about this, but I'm afraid I didn't listen well. How does it work, this Time Agent technique?"

"I make a mental image, invoke a mathematical sequence, and then choose a code word to lock the memory inside."

"Why use a code word?"

Jack was silent, and then softly said, "In case I need the memory back."

The Time Lord stood and climbed to the highest hill and surveyed the landscape of Jack's mind. He could see them now, so many colored boxes glittering the landscape, neatly cataloged in Jack's mind; the traumas of many lifetimes. As he surveyed the scene, he could see evidence of a long scar in the terrain, and assumed that was the two years the Time Agency stole from him. He thought he saw a shadow, but it dissolved before he could focus. Jens took in a deep breath as he looked at the price of immortality, the accidental "gift" given to Jack by Rose and his father, the Doctor. So many dark memories safely locked away. Jens telepathically stepped out of Jack's mind returning his consciousness to the small bed where he held his lover.

Jack opened his eyes, and whispered hoarsely, "Do you understand why I can't…?"

"Yes, I understand," Jens murmured as he lay down beside him. He stroked Jack's face looking deeply into the haunted blue eyes. "I understand." Filled with desire for this brave and lonely man, Jens leaned closer and kissed him softly on his chin, and then lips. Jack closed his eyes and began to relax.

"Sh-h-h," Jens whispered as he slowly turned Jack on his back, his hands and lips moving down the Captain's body, tracing the muscular contours. Jack softly moaned softly as he responded to his touch. "Sometimes slow and steady…"

Jack's body quivered as he hardened under the skillful strokes of the Time Lord's tongue. He gripped his lover's shoulders as he shifted his hips into position. As Jens explored his body, Jack felt as if he was melting into him, becoming lost in him. As Jens entered, an energy slowly arced through them. As the rhythm increased the vortex energy surged within them connecting in a whirlpool of heat and light. Losing all sense of time and place they rode the arc again and again, until they collapsed panting, timelines ebbing away like a tide on a hidden beach. Jens settled down beside Jack and continued to caress his lover. Exhausted, they settled in warm embrace, legs entangled, until they drifted into sleep.