Author's Note: This chapter, we visit the North American brothers! I've made them twins, because technically, Canada is older, since it was discovered by the Vikings first, but America is often depicted as older in the fandom. Therefore, compromise time! Also, because they're twins, they get to call each other by their human names.

I said there would be a snapped character, right? Well, you'll see how it turns out. There's a reason the title is so happy. Enjoy!

Chapter 14:

The more mysterious stuff, the more exciting, so dream on!

When news of England, France, and Spain's deaths reached Canada, he couldn't stand it anymore. He ran to his brother for comfort.

America was waiting for him. Together, the brothers cried for their lost mentors. After all, the three that were dead were the main ones who first colonized them.

"No more," Canada whispered into his twin's shirt. "No more of this bloodshed."

"Yes," America agreed. "But we can't do anything. The only way to stop them would be to nuke them all, and... well, that would defeat the whole purpose of ending the war, wouldn't it?"

"But they'll come. I know they will. Russia..." Canada shivered. "Russia has already set his sights on me, I can tell."

"Don't worry about Russia. I'll make sure he doesn't ever lay a finger on you." America gripped his brother tighter.

"How will you do that?" Canada glanced up at his taller twin.

America smiled. "I have a plan."

Over the next year, as the war in Europe and Asia raged on, America began to store many weapons of mass destruction in Canada. When Canada protested, America merely laughed.

"Mattie, I said I would protect you, didn't I? After all, I'm the hero! Trust me, it's all part of my plan."

And Canada couldn't argue with that. He just assumed that it would be easier for his brother to defend him if America already had weapons in place.

Then, on the first day of July, America suddenly appeared on Canada's doorstep, with both their bosses in tow and an armful of papers.

"Happy birthday! I got you an awesome gift this year!"

"America, why do you have your president and my prime minister with you?"

"It's for the gift! You'll see!"

Canada just stood there. What type of birthday gift could involve their bosses and a bunch of paper?

"Uh... Mattie? Hello? Can we come in?"

"O-Oh! Of course! Sorry, my apologies..." Canada hastily invited them into the house.

America walked into the living room and dumped his papers on the coffee table. Canada looked to his prime minister, who shrugged and looked at America's president. His only response was a shake of his head and a whispered "It's a surprise."

After everyone had settled down and Canada had gotten them some refreshments, he turned on his brother.

"So, what is this surprise?"

"Haha! Well, you know all those nukes and other weapons and things I've been storing around your country? They're all yours now!"

"W-WHAT?" Canada's normally quiet voice rose an octave.

"Yep! That's what our bosses are here for! To finalize the transfer! You'll agree, won't you, Mr. Prime Minister?" America made a pleading face at Canada's boss, who sat there in stunned silence. Sighing, America's boss gently took the other man by the elbow, excusing himself and leading him into the hallway. As soon as they were gone, Canada let out his full rage.

"Look what you did now! You're going to upset the entire balance of my government! This is unacceptable! This is-"

"Ow, ow, Mattie! Stop it, you're scaring Kumajirou!"

Indeed, the polar bear was huddled in the corner of his couch, staring at his owner's loud outburst.

"Oh... sorry, Kumakaro..." Canada's voice dropped back to it's usual tone. "But still, you can't just come here and give me a whole bunch of nuclear bombs and stuff!"

"Why not?" America tilted his head. "As long as your boss agrees..."

And Canada's boss did agree. They signed the papers, and when America left that night, Canada was officially a nuclear weapons state.

The declaration of war came the next day.

"W-What?" was Canada's first response to the news. "America did what?"

"The United States declared war on us." Canada's boss shifted nervously under his nation's gaze. "I just thought you'd want to know. I have to be getting back now. Don't forget to work on those papers."

He walked out, leaving Canada alone with his thoughts.

It didn't add up. Hadn't America just given him a huge stockpile of nuclear weapons? Why would he declare war now?

Canada tried to call America about it, but when America picked up, all he got was a strained "Mattie, don't call me again."

Canada felt numb. He really didn't know what to do anymore. So when America threatened to destroy Canada with nuclear weapons the next day, he didn't even react. Even when his boss packed him off to talk to his brother, and to phone back immediately if anything went wrong, he didn't say anything. When his boss told him that if America deployed its nuclear weapons, he should do the same in an act of mutual destruction, Canada could only nod. He soon was shuttled off to the border.

The time was July 3rd, 11:50 pm.

When Canada saw America, he finally broke.

"Why, you idiot, why?" He flew at his brother, intent on mutilating him, or at least harming him in some way, shape, or form. But America caught him before he could, and held him back.

"I'm sorry, Canada, it's the only way."

Canada could only stare at his brother. America never, ever called him Canada when they weren't in public or at some special meeting or something, and even then he sometimes didn't. It was a testament to the severity of the situation that he would refer to his brother by his country name.

"America... My government is prepared to launch the weapons you gave us against you. If you do something, anything, they will-"

"I wouldn't expect anything less of my brother's government."

"So, you'll back down?"

America was quiet for a minute. Both twins searched each others' faces for some indication of what was to become of their two countries. Then the southern nation's eyes narrowed. "Never."

America reached into his pocket, grabbed a device, and pushed the button on it. Canada's eyes widened in shock.

"No..." Tears spilled out of his eyes as he grabbed an identical device from his own pocket, and, following his boss's orders, sent their nuclear missiles flying toward his brother's country.

The time was July 3rd, 11:55 pm.

Canada braced himself for the pain he expected to feel, but nothing happened. America, however, fell to the ground with a grunt. Canada watched in horror as blood seeped out of his twin's clothing.

"A-America?"

"H-Hey, good shot... I knew... you would... make me proud..."

Canada dropped to his knees next to his twin. "What are you talking about? Why am I perfectly all right? Alfred, what did you do?"

By the end of this speech, the northern nation was in tears.

"You... You didn't like... my trick... did you? Sorry... It was... the only... way..."

"T-Trick? Oh, no... No, tell me you didn't-"

"How else... was I... supposed to... give you strength? Now... Now the... entire US... is yours..."

"No... You were lying the entire time? You didn't really have any missiles aimed at Canada, did you?"

"I... knew you'd... figure it out..." America attempted a smile.

"You idiot..." Canada's tears spilled down his face. "I would have been safer with you around."

"No, Mattie... You wouldn't have... I couldn't... always... protect you... I... have too many... people hating me..." America gasped for air.

"Alfred! No... Don't you dare leave me, like France and England! Don't you dare..." Canada sobbed.

"Hey... hey... It'll be fine... You're one of... the most powerful... countries in the world... now..."

"B-But you'll be g-gone..."

"Mattie... Promise me... something...?"

"Anything, Alfred."

"Don't... Don't be... invisible... anymore... OK?"

"A-Alright..."

"T-Thanks..."

As the clock struck 12 on July 4th, the nation faded into the night.

United States of America - partially destroyed, absorbed into Canada - gone

Author's Note: Haha! Plot twist! Oh, how I love plot twists...

So, did you like it? See, I thought that it would be way too cliche to have snapped!Canada attack America, and it would be way too cliche for America to attack Canada and win, so... more compromise time! Snapped!America makes Canada kill him! And it turned out nicely, too...

Wow... This is the fourth chapter I've written today... O.o

The title is from America's character song, "Hamburger Street".

Fun Fact: the US actually did store nuclear weapons in Canada at one point (during the Cold War, I think), although I'm pretty sure it wasn't for Canada's protection...

No translations this time!