Warnings: None, really, except for the sad frustrations that comes with 19th-century prejudice.
Summary: In which Blaine loves Kurt but marries Rachel, and Kurt loves Blaine but marries Brittany, and Sebastian just knows he doesn't like girls but marries Santana.
I hear people say "that's not how I define marriage." Well to them I say "love knows no bounds." Sue, Mash-Up
.***.
"We're getting married tomorrow." Kurt said to the love of his life, tears streaming down his face. Because he wasn't marrying the love of his life. The love of his life was a man.
"I can't believe this. It's the nineteenth-century, for God's sake. Not the Middle Ages." Blaine held Kurt tight and kissed him, wishing that he could do this for the rest of his life. Wishing he could do this in a way that wouldn't make the rest of the world mock them, hate them, imprison them.
"The only consolation is that the girls are just as upset as we are." Kurt said with a little laugh. Blaine didn't laugh, just held him tighter and they tumbled onto the bed. "Poor Brittany. You just know she's in love with the serving girl."
"Santana? The one marrying your little Sebastian?" Blaine sat up, disentangling himself from Kurt and pushing his hair out of his face. It was always getting in his face, the dark curls bouncing, refusing to be tamed. Usually he was happy that wigs were in fashion. His hair was embarrassing. "Why is it our households going through all these...dramatics?"
Kurt shrugged, draping an arm around Blaine's shoulders. He'd known Anderson since he was five. The Hummels and the Andersons were the biggest landowners in Kent, both old families with old money, keepers of large households with a dozen servants each. When Kurt was ten, he'd gone to play at his best friend's mansion and had seen the young boy sitting at the piano, singing quietly to himself. He remembered that because it was the instant he'd fallen in love with the younger boy.
As they grew, they would steal moments in forgotten rooms, in back closets. They explored each other's bodies with chance touches, with covetous looks, usually in the darkness, always praying they wouldn't be discovered. What they were doing wasn't just frowned upon by their parents and the church, it was against the law of the land.
"What if we're found out?" Kurt said one day, trying to get out of the bed. Blaine grabbed his arm again and they pressed against each other hungrily, not willing for the moment to end. "No...Blaine, listen. I couldn't live without you. I could stand life in a cell if you were beside me, but to be separated from you for the rest of my life..."
"That won't happen." Blaine said stoutly. "You're matched with the Pierce girl, and I'm marrying Rachel..."
"She's a Jew." Kurt said, rubbing his thumb in a circle on the back of Blaine's hand. "I can't believe your parents are letting your marry a Jew." Which just goes to show that there's all kinds of prejudice all over the place.
"She has money. They're coming around. And I like Rachel. We could...well, our life could be happy together. Not as happy as if I were with you!" Blaine instantly peppered Kurt's face with kisses, "Oh, Kurt. If only we could get married."
"Never in a million years." Kurt said, pushing himself up. "We're abominations. Monsters. You hear what the vicar says about us every week in church."
"I don't know," Blaine said, "I've been studying my Bible. I can't find anything in there about...well, about our kind of relationship."
"Leviticus..." Kurt began, sighing. Who would have guessed that fifty words written thousands of years ago would put such a strain on his life?
But Blaine waved the word away. "The birth of the Messiah cancelled out the old laws. It's why Christians don't keep kosher." Blaine gave him a look that said you should know this. Kurt sent back one that said I don't like the church. "All I could find was what Jesus said in the Gospels: A new commandment I shall give unto you; that you should love one another."
Kurt couldn't help himself. He kissed Blaine again, and pushed him back onto the bed even though he knew they might be caught. "I'll never love anyone as much as I love you." Kurt breathed into Blaine's halfway open mouth. Tears were streaming down his face. Because life was hopelessly unfair.
"And now we're getting married." Blaine said, leaning his head on Kurt's shoulder, "And we're going to have to lie for the rest of our lives about how we feel about each other."
"Well, when you put it that way I feel much better." Kurt muttered, looking at the door. "Did I ever tell you how I found out about Sebastian?" When Blaine shook his head, Kurt laughed a little, "It was because he found out about us."
Blaine looked at him, wide-eyed and scared, and Kurt laughed a little, "I know. I went down to the kitchen in the morning and he kind of pulled me aside and said that he saw me and you going at it in the Green Room. I was prepared to offer him my entire inheritance to keep quiet, but he said he didn't want money. He was just...interested. Said he'd been feeling some strange urges towards some of the men, especially Finn."
"At least he has good taste." Blaine commented, and Kurt had the grace to blush. He'd confided in his friend once that he thought Finn, the footman, was quite handsome. "Too bad Finn's in love with Rachel. And she with him." But Rachel came from and old and landed family, even if they were Jewish. Her marrying a servant would be absolutely scandalous. Not as scandalous as Blaine and Kurt's relationship becoming public knowledge, but scandalous enough.
"Why can't we just marry who we want? Never mind our parents or convention! Never mind putting on a false front for the neighbors! Love should know no boundaries!"
"You're been reading Oscar Wilde again." Blaine said quietly. "Is this such a bad life? You'll marry Brittany and I'll marry Rachel. Sebastian will eventually marry Santana."
"And we'll all be unhappy for the rest of our days." Kurt said sourly. Blaine reached out to put a comforting pat on his shoulder, but he flinched away. "Brittany loves Santana you know. I see it whenever they're together. She smiles. She never smiles with me. Not really."
"I've seen Brittany smile. When she dances at the balls." Blaine smiled at the memory of a pretty young woman in a long green dress spinning on the dance floor, eyes closed, smiling without a care in the world. And then her eyes would fly open and she'd search the room for the dark servant, and her face would go soft when she looked at Santana.
A knock at the door, and Blaine and Kurt sprang away from each other. Kurt grabbed up the forgotten glass of whiskey on the sideboard and Blaine straightened his suit. They stood posed by the window, as if caught in the middle of a conversation, two happy bride-grooms on the day before their double wedding.
"Blaine, the bed!" And Blaine tugged the comforter on the bed until it was almost straight, as if two young men hadn't just had frustrated sex on it a half-hour before.
Sebastian stepped into the room, his head bowed slightly, and Kurt relaxed. "Oh. It's only you. Close the door, will you Sebastian?" The servant closed the door and positively beamed at Blaine, who rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"I can see why you like him, Mr. Hummel." Sebastian said, devouring Blaine with his gaze, "He's positively sex on a stick."
"Is there something you wanted?" Kurt asked, a little harsher than he would have normally. His hand sought Blaine's and gripped it possessively.
"Rachel is coming to find her husband-to-be. I thought you'd want a little warning. Didn't know if she knew about your...arrangement." Sebastian shrugged, turned to leave.
"Thank you, Sebastian." Blaine said quietly, and the servant turned around and smiled so that the skin around his eyes crinkled. "I guess I should thank you. For not telling anyone about Kurt. He's my everything. If you'd turned him in..."
"We have to stick together, don't we? Anyway, I could never turn Kurt in. You two are...I envy you." Sebastian looked at the ground, shifted slightly, "I envy that you've managed to find each other in this world. The only boy I could see myself with...well, he's always really nice to me, but he likes girls. Which reminds me, Blaine, you're not the best person in Finn Hudson's books right now. I can't see him actually doing anything to you, but maybe stay out of his way for a couple weeks."
"Of course. I know how much Rachel cares for him. I might even tell her about me and Kurt, if it will make her feel less guilty about seeing him after we get married tomorrow."
Sebastian didn't question this odd couple relationship. "One day I hope there will be...oh, I don't even want acceptance. Just non-violence. Disinterest. Someone to repeal the old laws that say I can be thrown in jail if anyone ever knew that I love men. I think that can happen some day. Don't you?"
"No." Kurt said bluntly. "It's a great fairy-tale, but I don't think it's possible for us to ever be accepted by decent people. I can't ever see a time when men like my father will understand how deeply my love for Blaine runs. I know that they would think us no more than animals looking for something to...get off on. And we will always be abominations, and wretched in our wretchedness."
"You can't believe that, Kurt. Things change." Blaine reached for Kurt's hand and he pulled it away, impatient with Blaine's optimism.
Didn't he see? "Things may change. Oceans and continents and trees. But people don't change, Blaine. Not really. And our children and our children's children won't be able to be men meeting men or women meeting women. Because people don't change, and this especially won't change. We are the embodiment of all the nastiness people associate with the nighttime and back alleys. We are Sodom and Gomorrah."
"He gets poetic when he's frustrated." Blaine explained to Sebastian, standing in the doorway with something like shock plastered across his face. Blaine took a few steps towards Kurt and rubbed soothing circles on his back. "Shh...hey, it's okay Kurt. We can still see each other. We can still have all this."
"I want more, Blaine." Kurt whispered to the floor, feeling so embarrassed over his admission because he knew he had it good. He knew he had it better than Sebastian, rubbing his arm in the doorway. The servant would probably never get the chance to be with someone like Kurt and Blaine were together. "I want to marry you and I want everyone to know you're mine. I want to have kids with you. I want to kiss you under Big Ben and in the gardens and not be thrown in prison for it. I want...everything everyone else can have."
"It's not just us." Blaine said quietly. "Rachel loves Finn. She's absolutely over-the-moon about him. And she can't be with him because of this ridiculous business about class and station and propriety."
"I'm still holding out for my fairy-tale world." Sebastian said quietly. "Maybe it won't happen in our lifetimes, Mr. Hummel, but I have to believe there will be a time when people learn to care less about the lives of others. Who are we hurting here in this back room?" He left before Kurt could find a suitable answer.
When they were interrupted again, it wasn't by Rachel but by Brittany, slinking into the room and leaning against the bed post. She looked at the men standing by the window, actually having the conversation they were pretending to have when Sebastian came in the room, and offered them a watery smile. "At least you're getting married on the same day. Next to each other. That's...close. Right?"
Blaine's hand tightened on Kurt's for a half second before he burst into tears.
"Oh, honey." Kurt said, reaching for Blaine so he could rub his back. And Blaine just leaned into him, quaking. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Blaine said angrily. "It's the world. Or it's us. What's wrong with us?"
"I don't know," said Brittany, sounding thoughtful, "But I just went to see Santana and I made her cry, too. I'm making everyone cry today."
"I think the weddings are making everyone cry." Kurt said, "I thought weddings were supposed to make people happy."
"Two years ago, before I met Santana, I would have been so happy marrying you Kurt. Well, as happy as I would be marrying anyone, and you're so much nicer than John Stevenson or Henry Black. But then I met Santana and everything is so much more...complicated." Brittany collapsed onto the bed, her hair falling like a veil in front of her face. "But we can be a little happy right? You and Blaine can continue what you're doing - everyone knows you're best friends, no one will question your spending time together. And then we'll be here all the time and I can see Santana. And that will be enough. We'll do what it takes to make some babies and maybe we can be...a little happy? Do you think that can happen, Kurt? Can you be a little happy to spend your life with me?"
Kurt let go of Blaine and took his wife-to-be in his arms. "We can be happy, Brit. It won't be perfect but we'll be happy enough. My father expects me to stay on in the house - he'll be lonely by himself - and Blaine's already arranging to by Windy Corner from his father."
"He'll sell it to me. He wants to live in the city anyway." Blaine said quickly, "And of course I'll keep Santana on. If she and Sebastian do end up getting married, I've promised them the small house near the West Wing. It'll be big enough for them to start a family of their own, if they want. And it'd be a nice private place for you girls to get together..."
Brittany got off the bed and kissed Blaine's cheek. "Thank you, Mr. Anderson. You're too kind."
"Call me Blaine. We're sharing a wedding tomorrow. You can call me Blaine."
"Is this a pre-wedding party?" Rachel's brusque voice came before her body as she crossed the room and kissed Blaine's cheek almost exactly where Brittany had just pecked it.
"Hello, darling." Blaine said, looking down at her and managing a genuine smile. "Is everything in order for tomorrow?"
"I'm just worried there isn't enough turkey for all the pies. Miss Nelly insists there is but..." The words tumbled out of her mouth and Blaine pulled her close, holding her against her chest. Her face was wet.
"You're in love with the footman." Blaine sighed, because why couldn't one person in his life be happy with who they were marrying?
"No!" Rachel's voice was high and scared, "No, of course not! Blaine, I love you! Please don't..." Her voice trailed off and she grasped Blaine's hand desperately, bringing it up to her face.
"Oh, honey." Blaine said, shaking his head, "It's okay. I'm so sorry things have to be this way." He looked over at Kurt, who was rigid, stick-straight, waiting for Blaine to dictate their next move. Blaine motioned him to come over and he did, hoping that Rachel would see this for what it was - permission to continue her own relationship. Not something to be feared, or disgusted by. Kurt lifted up his face and Blaine planted a soft kiss on his lips.
Rachel just stared at them.
"I...I love Kurt, honey. And I don't want you to be hurt by this and of course I'm looking forward to building a life with you but...you can still love Finn. Because you won't hurt me if you give him that part of your life. I already gave most of my heart away to Kurt." Blaine held Rachel's hands and squeezed. He took it as a good sign that she didn't pull away, though a flicker of something like disgust did flicker across her face before she remembered her upbringing as a young lady and covered it up.
"All right, Blaine. I won't pretend I understand but...all right." She glanced over at Brittany, still on the bed. "You're okay with this?"
"I guessed it six months ago." Brittany said, shrugging. "Everyone just assumes I don't know anything that's going on, but I knew my fiance never seemed to want to touch me and always wanted to be around his best friend. It was easy enough to figure out."
Rachel turned to Blaine and put her arms around his neck. "Tomorrow we'll get married. We won't be marrying who we want, any of us, but we will get married because..." she struggled to figure out why they must marry if not for love. "Because it's the right thing to do. And one day you will give me babies, or Finn will, and we will raise them to not hate people as our parents do. And maybe that will change something." She turned to the others, suddenly desperate. "Do you think it can change anything?"
Honestly, Kurt didn't think so. But that wasn't the answer Rachel wanted to hear. "Maybe." But he didn't believe it, and when Blaine kissed him again he could taste the salt of tears.
.***.
this was a suggestion from anna who wanted a series of marriages between people who didn't love each other. it sounded suitably sad. also, if they don't sound like they exist in 1885, it's because we exist in 2012 and haven't read quite enough austen to attempt the diction.
we're getting around to your suggestions, guys, but send along any other ideas you have for people getting beat up on.