Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

As always, huge thanks go to my pre-reader/cheerleader team Gredelina1 and IamTheAlleyCat. Also to Snarkymuch for beta'ing this chapter and listening to all my bitching when the words wouldn't flow. I love you all.

~ Chapter Seventeen — Apart ~

Edward POV

Seven hundred and twenty one days, three hours, and twenty-one minutes. That was how long it had been since I last saw my love, and yet I have not stopped waiting for her. Every day and every night, I spent watching the waters who had taken her from me and waiting for them to return her body.

When others came to my hiding place, I disappeared into the trees. I was never seen by the humans. Only the loathsome wolves saw me, and when they came, I pretended they were not there. I was practiced at it by now. One wolf came more than any other, but I ignored him, too. He would babble apologies and regrets, but they were white noise. What did I care for his sorrow when my every thought was focused on my own?

Rumor spread, and my hide at the cliff top was avoided. People told stories of a phantom that lived there, waiting to lure unsuspecting women to their death. It was not that far from the truth. I was a phantom of the man I was before, and I had once lured a woman to her death. But I never intended to; I had been trying to keep her safe.

I should have been there. That was the one thought my mind returned to again and again. I shouldn't have listened to Alice's warnings and her pleading. What would it have mattered if I had not made it through the fight alive if it meant she did?

On occasion, I would be forced to hunt. It was not for my benefit that I did it but for the safety of others. I could not lose control and kill one of the foolhardy humans that came to my place. She would be disappointed if I did.

Sometimes I saw a flash of something in the water that I thought could be her, and I would leap from the cliff, eager to return my love to me, but I was always disappointed. As time passed, those occurrences became less frequent, and I became resigned to the fact she was never coming back to me.

I no longer had the same desperate need for my own end. This living hell was my punishment for allowing her to die. Carlisle was right after all; there was a God, and he was a vengeful one.

Though I ignored the voices, I could not fully block out the thoughts. Therefore, I knew when Charlie Swan died. The official report stated that he died from a brain aneurism, but I know he died of a broken heart. He, like me, never stopped hoping his daughter would return. He had spent endless hours on First Beach searching for her.

His funeral came two years to the day after the memorial service they held for my love. It was the only time I willingly left my hide. I went to his grave and stood in silence for an immeasurable amount of time. I couldn't think of what to say to him. There was so much, and yet nowhere near enough. In the end, I laid the freesia I had picked from someone's garden on his grave and whispered an apology.

I was apologizing for so much, for hurting his daughter, for taking her away from him, but not for loving her. I was given a glimpse of heaven in the year we had together; I would never apologize for that.

I turned my attention to the empty grave beside him and dropped to my knees. Etched on the marble were my love's name and two dates. The first was the day the world was blessed with her presence, and the second was the day she was stolen away.

As there was no body to bury, Charlie and Renee had arranged to bury some of Bella's most prized possessions and photographs of her. Friends donated items, too, but I didn't know who left what; I cared little at the time for such details.

I ran my fingers over the etched letters of her name, and a small smile curved my mouth.

"Hello, love," I whispered. "I have missed you so much."

I should have come here sooner. This was the place my Bella lingered, not some cliff. Here, beneath me, among all the marks of love and proof of her existence that the world could offer.

"I'm sorry it had taken me so long to come. I was confused. I see better now."

And I did. No longer would I spend all my days waiting for something that would never happen. I would make my place here with her. I could hide in the trees by day and commune with my love at night.

I wondered if she saw me now. Was she looking down at me with a smile at our reunion, or was she angry that I had let myself fall so heavily into decline without her? I hoped she would understand. She always understood my weaknesses before.

"Do you see me?" I whispered, almost expecting an answer. "I hope you do. I wish I could see you, but perhaps this is just another facet to my punishment. You can watch me while I cannot watch you.

"If you can see me, please know that I am sorry. I never meant for you to suffer anything of what you did. I loved you with all my heart. I still do. All I ever wanted was your happiness. I'm so sorry, love."

My words broke off as sobs overtook me. I bent double at the waist. My forehead pressed against the damp grass, creating wetness on my cheeks that my body could not provide.

"I… I miss you so much." I choked out the words. "I'm so sorry."

A light breeze swept through the otherwise-still air, and with it came the scent of the freesia I had left on Charlie's grave. It felt like the memory of a caress. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, pretending the scent was that of my love coming to forgive me all and to love me again.

xXx

Dawn seemed to come too early that night. I had not had nearly long enough with my love before the light began to creep over the horizon and the world began to wake.

I pressed my lips to the marble of Bella's headstone and swore to be back with her soon. Then, regretfully, I got to my feet and made my steady path back to my cliff in La Push. I had nothing of my own there—I was still wearing the clothes I had worn on that fateful day—but I had left the bag containing Bella's clothes there.

Her scent had long since faded, but I liked to pretend I could still smell her when I pressed the fabric to my face. I liked to have something tangible that was hers to cling to on my long vigil.

As I passed into the cover of the trees, I hastened my pace to a run. The sooner I collected her bag, the sooner I could be with her again. The wolves would be pleased to see me gone, though I cared not for their wants and needs.

As I passed the river that once marked the boundary line, a howl rent the air. Apparently, I had been observed in my going, and now in my return. They would not have to suffer my presence long.

At first, I did not recognize the new scent or the thoughts that preceded them. I had long ago stopped caring for anything outside of my small sphere of life. I came to a grinding halt as I recognized them as belonging to Carlisle and Esme. Both were guarding their thoughts carefully, but I gathered that they were worried about me and that there was something important they had to tell me.

I doubted it was something that would interest me. Likely Emmett and Rosalie planning another wedding. If they thought the happy event was going to draw me from Bella, they were much mistaken. Nothing could tear me away now.

"Edward, are you there?" Esme called out.

I considered going in the opposite direction and hiding from them until they left, but I wanted Bella's bag.

With trudging footsteps I made my way to them. "I'm here."

Esme gasped as she caught sight of me and rushed forward to embrace me. "Oh, Edward."

I allowed her the embrace, but as soon as was polite, I extricated myself from her arms and turned my attention to the man I once called my father.

"What is it?"

"We have found Bella."

After years of waiting, the ocean had finally given up its dead.

I dropped to my knees and sobbed against the earthen ground.

My sobs shifted to keening howls as realization settled over me. It was really over now, no more silent vigil. I had to move on in my life. I had no idea how to do that.

I felt arms settle around my shoulders and a hand running through my hair in soothing strokes.

Slowly my faculties returned to me, and I asked the question I needed answered more than any other. "Where is she?"

I needed to see her. I needed the physical proof to make it real.

Carlisle knelt in front of me, and I raised my head slowly to look at him. All my previous fury at the man seemed unimportant given what he had come to tell me.

"Edward, I need you to listen to me," he said. "There is a lot to tell you, and I need you to hear me out."

I nodded. I would listen for as long as necessary to get the information I needed.

"Bella is in the Amazon rainforest."

"What? How can she be there when—?"

"She's not dead, Son. She's been changed."

I froze. My mind was unable to process what he was saying. My Bella alive. My Bella a vampire.

"Garrett found her and led us to her. She has been there all this time."

I jumped to my feet and crouched. "You lie!"

Carlisle mimicked my posture and held his hands up in front of him in a defensive gesture. Perhaps he thought I would attack him. No sooner than the thought rose in my mind did I see the appeal of that thought.

I shoved against his chest, propelling him back a few feet. Just a little further and he would have been sent tumbling over the cliff. I stepped forward to make it a reality, but Esme gripped my arm and pulled me back.

"Stop, Edward! We are not lying to you. Aro was the one that did that."

"No, he couldn't have."

I couldn't believe even Aro would be so cruel. He couldn't have lied to me; I would have heard the truth in his mind. I thought back and tried to remember what I had read in his thoughts that day, but I couldn't remember any moment when his thoughts had registered through the haze of my grief. Was it possible that he was lying the whole time?

My mind shied away from the possibility. If he had been lying, if he had tricked me, it meant that I had left Bella alone in the world for two years. It would mean that I had failed her again.

Esme gripped my face in her hands and locked eyes with me. "Look!"

She opened her mind, and I saw a room I assumed was their new home. Garrett snatched up a picture of Bella and me at the prom, demanding, "Who is this?" The scene changed to the gloomy light of the jungle. There was a campfire smoldering in a circle of stone in front of a cave. A figure stepped out of the cave and straightened.

Gasping, I pulled myself from Esme's mind.

"Bella!" The word came through my numb lips as a whisper. I wavered on my feet and Esme embraced me, holding me upright.

Her name echoed in my mind. Bella. Bella. Bella. There was no question it was her. She was different from the woman I last saw—the venom had impossibly enhanced her beauty—but it was her.

"Mom, that was Bella."

A wide smile curved Esme's lips. "I know, sweetheart."

"There is more to tell you," Carlisle said. "But I think we should go to the house before we discuss things further. I am not sure now is the right time for the wolves to learn the truth."

Esme traced the shadows under my eyes with a finger. "When did you last hunt?"

I didn't know for sure. I hadn't been tracking my hunting habits by days; when the thirst became too much, I would hunt. From the burn igniting my throat at that moment, I knew it had been some time.

I shrugged. "It can wait a little longer. I want to know everything."

"Very well." Carlisle set out towards our house. I picked up the bag containing Bella's clothes and followed him.

I recognized Emmett and Rosalie's scents as we approached the house. When I broke through the trees onto the overgrown meadow that was our garden, Rosalie flew from the house and into my arms.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry." She gabbled. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't made that phone call you would never have gone to the Volturi. They would never have known about Bella, and none of this would have happened. Bella wouldn't be…"

She trailed off catching Carlisle's eyes. He was shaking his head rapidly.

"Bella wouldn't be what?" I said in a cold, hard voice. "What are you hiding from me?"

Esme sighed heavily. "Come inside, Edward."

"I'm fine where I am, thank you." I forced politeness into my tone. "Tell me what you are hiding."

"You didn't tell him?" Rosalie turned her accusing glare on Carlisle.

"Tell me what?" I shouted.

"Bella has been through a lot," Carlisle said in a tone heavy with sadness. "And it has taken its toll on her."

Rosalie huffed. "She's crazy, Edward."

I hissed, and Emmett pulled Rosalie behind him.

"She's not crazy," Esme said impatiently. "She has just been through a lot, and it has done some damage."

"Damage? Will someone please tell me what the hell you are talking about?"

"Bella seems to be living under the delusion that she is still human," Carlisle said. "From what we have observed, she has been living in an imitation of humanity since shortly after her change. She has made a kind of camp in the forest and lives there."

"You're telling me my mate is a vampire living as a human, in a cave! Whatin God's name happened to her?"

"Aro happened," Carlisle said simply.

Esme took up the explanation. "We are not sure what happened exactly. We don't know if it was the Volturi or Victoria that changed her, but we know she was taken to the castle, and while she was there, they devised a torment for her."

"Torment?" I choked on the word. It seemed the bad news was unending. Bella was alive, which made me happier than I had ever been in my life, but it seemed she had suffered unendurable pain since the moment I had left her, which had somehow broken her mind.

"We understand that Aro—and possibly Caius and Marcus—imitated Jasper's voice and mine to speak to her. They told her that Alice and Esme were dead and that we blamed her for it. According to Zafrina, she also believes you are dead."

My knees weakened, and I moaned. I knew how it had felt for me to believe her dead, and I knew she would have suffered the same pain, believing the same of me.

"Who is with her now?" I asked in a hollow voice.

"Alice and Jasper are there, with Peter, Charlotte, and Garrett," Carlisle said.

"What are they doing there?" I didn't like the idea of Bella being observed like a circus freak by Jasper's friends. They were pleasant enough, but Peter had a wild streak I didn't much care for.

"They are helping," Carlisle said. "Peter has an idea for how we can possibly heal Bella's mind. He believes that if we can show her irrefutable proof that she is a vampire we can break the human delusion."

"And the fact she believes I'm dead. How are we supposed to heal that damage?"

"So far, only Alice and Jasper have been able to speak to her. She seems to think Alice is a ghost, and—I think—she believes that Jasper is a completely different person to the one has hurt her. We haven't tried myself and Esme yet because we were… interrupted."

I sighed heavily. "You are hiding something. I am not planning to attack you again, Carlisle, but if you keep withholding information about my mate, I will change my mind. I need to know what is happening."

"The Volturi came," he said vaguely.

"And what did they do when they came?"

"They…" Esme faltered. "Jane hurt her."

"But Jane's gift doesn't work on Bella," I said.

"According to what Alice saw, it does now."

Horror gripped my heart in an icy fist. Bella had lost her protection from Jane's cruelties. I hid my face in my hands, wishing for the release of tears. My poor Bella; she had lost so much.

xXx

I was a mess, both physically and mentally. Though there was little I could do to heal my mental conflict, I could at least take care of the physical. I hunted quickly—enough to stay me for the flight south—and then returned to the house to shower.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror for a long time before showering. I was disappointed with myself for allowing my decline to reach such levels. I looked like the corpse I had wished to be. My eyes were still black with thirst, with only the thinnest line of topaz circling my iris, and the shadows beneath them were etched deep into my skin.

I stepped into the shower and allowed the streaming water to sweep away two years worth of dirt and debris.

When I went back into my bedroom, I found Emmett sitting on the edge of the bed. He was making an effort to conceal his thoughts, and I did not attempt to pry. He would tell me what he was here for sooner or later; patience was not Emmett's strong suit.

He sat in silence while I dressed and toweled my hair dry. I had taken no notice of what I was dressing myself in, and I was surprised to see that I had chosen almost an exact match of the outfit I wore for my first date with Bella.

Emmett stretched his hands out on front of him cracking his knuckles. A habit I hated. "So, Bella's alive. Pretty wild, right?"

I barked a harsh laugh. "Wild."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm…" I began to say I was fine, an automatic response, but I couldn't finish the lie. "To be honest, Em, I don't know how I feel."

He nodded sagely. "Makes sense. I'm not sure I'm going to believe it myself until I see her in person. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe Carlisle and Esme are lying, but it's a lot to take in after so long."

"It's not that. I know she is alive. I saw the truth in Esme's mind. More than that, I feel it. The ache in my chest I have had since she died"—I shook my head—"no, since I believed she died. Well, it's changed. It's now a pull; it's drawing me to her side."

"So, what's the problem?"

"I'm scared of what is going to happen next. It's been so long, and she had been through so much. What if she doesn't recognize me for who I am anymore?"

Emmett frowned. "I have a theory about that. Do you want to hear it?"

This would be interesting. I gestured for him to continue.

"You and Bella are fated to be together. Think of all the times you thought you were going to lose her—the van crash, those animals in Port Angeles, James, Volterra—yet every time, she pulled through. The fall from the cliff should have killed her, but she got through it. Just like she did the blood loss, and the cold water, and the change. I think it's because of you. You can't live without her, and so she can't die. It's like fate is keeping an eye on her for you."

It was a pleasant thought that she was being protected for me, but I knew I had done nothing to deserve that gift. I should have been cursed for my crimes, not rewarded.

"If fate was looking out for her, why has it made her suffer so much?"

He sighed heavily. "Because there is always a price."

Always a price. That made sense in a sick kind of way. I just wished I could be the one to pay it instead of her.

"Anyway." He pulled me from my thoughts. "What I'm saying is that you don't need to worry about Bella knowing who and what you are. She's been waiting a long time for this reunion. She'll know exactly who you are."

I stared at him. This was not a conversation I ever envisaged having with Emmett. There was a lot more to my behemoth of brother than I ever realized.

xXx

When we went back downstairs, the room was a hive of activity. Rosalie was working on the laptop and Carlisle and Esme were flitting around the room covering furniture in dustsheets and gathering valuables.

"We are going to Esme's island," Carlisle explained seeing my blank look of confusion. "It is the only place we have a chance of defending if and when the Volturi come for us."

I shuddered inwardly. The Volturi were the cause of all Bella's suffering. What would happen when they realized we had found her and taken her away?

"What are we going to do about them?" Rosalie asked.

Carlisle sighed and raked his hands over his face. "I honestly don't know."

Though it was a foolish expectation, I had hoped he would have some master plan to save my Bella from the Volturi. I was accustomed to Carlisle having all the answers. If not him, then Jasper—he was the greatest strategist of the family.

"We can't fight them," Rosalie said with absolute certainty.

"I fear we may be forced to," Esme said, holding a hand to her throat. "If they come for Bella, we will not give her up."

Rosalie's jaw jutted out in a familiar sign of stubbornness. "If we fight them, we die."

"Possibly," Carlisle said. "Perhaps we can appeal to Aro's better nature. He has a reputation as a fair man to uphold. If news of what he has done to Bella reached others of our kind, they may decide it is time for a change of leadership."

"And they may decide we deserve it for breaking the rules," Rosalie snapped. "Is it worth risking all of our lives on the possibility of saving her?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but Carlisle cut me off.

"Bella is worth the risk," he said firmly. "I don't want any of our family to be at risk, and I include Bella in that. Because of our mistakes, she has suffered more than I would have believed possible. We will not abandon her again."

"I agree, Rose," Emmett said softly. "You know I love you more than anything in the world, but we owe Bella and Edward this. If you ask me to, I will sit out of the fight, but know I will never forgive you for it."

I was stunned to hear Emmett speak like this, not the fact he would sit out of the fight—than I accepted and understood—but for him to say he would never forgive her was shocking. He had always followed Rosalie in all things. She was his world the same way Bella was mine.

Rosalie glared at him and then marched out of the house and into the garden. She was only gone a moment before I heard her speak.

"What are you doing here, dog?"

We raced outside. Jacob Black was standing at the very edge of the trees. He was out of our range of scent but well within our hearing. I couldn't believe we hadn't noticed his approach or the sound of his thumping heart. I could hear it clearly now, hammering against his ribs.

He ignored Rosalie's question completely and looked at me. Only able to gasp one word. "Bella?"

I nodded. "We have found her."

"And she's alive?"

"It is a long story, Jacob," Carlisle's expression was tense. "One we don't have time for now."

"Bullshit," he snapped. "We fought for you. You owe me an explanation."

"I saved your life," Carlisle said harshly. "I owe you nothing."

Jacob looked at me imploringly. "Please, Edward. You know how I feel. You have to tell me."

My instinctual reaction was to curse at him and to throw him from our lands. But he was right. I understood how he felt. The same devastation I had seen in the mirror was echoed in Jacob's face.

"Bella wasn't killed; she was changed."

His hands fisted at his sides. "She's been alive all this time, and you hid her from me? Do you really hate me that much?"

"No, idiot." Rosalie snapped. "We didn't know, either. Do you really think Edward would have sat on that cliff for two years if he had known Bella was out there somewhere? Use what little brains you have and think about it."

"That is enough, Rose," Carlisle said in a gentle tone and then addressed Jacob. "We believed Bella was dead and have only just discovered the truth. We don't have time to explain it all now. There is much to be done. But you and your pack can do something for us, for Bella."

"Anything," he said fervently.

"Prepare your pack to fight," Carlisle said. "I believe we will soon be going to war."

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the late update, real life caught up with me. I am going to update on Saturdays from here on out. As always, if you would like a teaser of the next chapter, let me know in a review or a PM.

Simaril x