Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

As always, huge thanks go to my pre-reader/cheerleader team Gredelina1 and IamTheAlleyCat. Also to Snarkymuch for beta'ing this chapter and listening to all my bitching when the words wouldn't flow. I love you all.

Chapter Eighteen — Surrender

Alice POV

Carlisle called and told us what he had learned from Zafrina and her sisters. I was disgusted that someone I called a friend had been involved in what had happened to Bella. Peter and Garrett had a more violent reaction; they wanted to find Zafrina now and tear her apart, giving her a taste of the pain Bella had suffered. Jasper was the one to calm them down—I couldn't summon the will.

"What would you have done if it was Charlotte the Volturi threatened?" he asked Peter.

Peter didn't answer aloud, but the way he clung to Charlotte's hand was answer enough. He would have done the same thing—we all would have—to protect the ones we loved.

The idea that Aro had used Jasper and Carlisle's voices to torture Bella made a sick kind of sense. It explained the existence of the 'bad Jasper' and why she was scared of Carlisle. I hated that they had done this to her. It would have been more merciful to kill her outright.

When morning came and the sky above the canopy lightened, casting the forest floor into a gloomy half-light, I heard movement coming from inside the cave.

During the night, Jasper had tracked Bella's emotions, trying to decipher what it was that she did at night. He didn't deduce much. He said her emotions were like those of a human who was in deep in meditation, or—impossibly—asleep. It disconcerted him to feel this from a vampire; another testimony as to how broken Bella was, how much damage had been done to her. He sighed in relief when she finally became alert and 'awake'.

"How is she?" I asked in a whisper.

He focused for a moment. "Surprisingly calm. I expected more distress after her breakdown."

The breakdown I had caused with my hasty words. She'd seemed to take everything in her stride after the Volturi's visit, so I had no qualms about mentioning Esme, but it had sent her spiraling down into madness. The words she had spoken made a horrible kind of sense to me. 'They hurt her…and him…still hurting. For so long…Have to bleed…' She had seen Esme attacked by Victoria and her newborn, and she had bled to save her. I didn't understand the hurt him, though, unless she meant Edward.

"What's the plan?" Garrett asked.

I shrugged. "No idea."

We'd hoped that today we could set out on our journey to the island, but I was not sure it was a good idea now. She had been through so much in the past couple of days, and it seemed that taking her out of the one place she felt safe would upset her. We needed to get her out of the jungle, though; it wasn't safe for her here. The Volturi knew exactly where to find her when they wanted to exercise more of their sick torments upon her.

"I think we should go ahead and move her," Jasper said. "She's reasonably calm today, and we have no way of knowing when the Volturi will come again."

"I've been thinking," Peter said with uncharacteristic solemnity. "We need to try to bring her face to face with her vampire side before we leave. She will be easier to manage on the journey if she is aware of what she is."

"It might work"—Jasper looked thoughtful—"but how do we do it?"

None of us answered. I was thinking hard about the way I had felt upon awakening to my vampire life. I had no memories of humanity, so I did not suffer the overload of sensory input that others did. It felt natural to me. It wasn't until I killed my first human that I understood what I was. Then I had the first vision of Jasper, and in him, I found something to focus on other than the thirst. A vision of Carlisle followed, so I knew there was another way to live. Within hours of my awakening, I knew the path my life would take. I had to find Jasper, and together we would find Carlisle and his family. It had worked for me, but it wouldn't work for Bella. She had no visions to guide her.

"We haven't tried simply telling her," Charlotte said. "Think about it, all you've done so far is play along with her delusion. Maybe if she hears the truth from Alice, she will believe."

I looked to Jasper, and he shrugged. "I guess it's worth a try. I doubt it will work, though. The vampire Peter and I knew before refused to accept the truth despite us telling her repeatedly."

"But she trusts Alice," Garrett said, sounding hopeful.

"I'm willing to give it a go," I said. "I'll try anything."

"It looks like it's time to put the theory to the test," Jasper said, looking towards Bella's cave. "She's coming out."

He was right. A moment later, Bella appeared at the mouth of the cave. She stretched and then rinsed her mouth with water from the canteen.

"And the charade continues," Jasper muttered.

Bella began cutting at the deer carcass, and I took it as my cue to intervene. Perhaps if I could interrupt the cycle, I could save her from attempting to eat the foul stuff. I walked towards her camp, making as much noise as I could so I would not catch her off guard.

She looked up at the sound of my approach and smiled. "Morning, Alice."

I was relieved to see her smiling. I was worried my return would trigger another breakdown. I sat down on the log beside her. She continued to hack away at the meat of the deer. "Bella, can you stop that for a moment, please? There is something I want to talk to you about."

"Sure." She sat opposite me on a log and looked to me to continue.

"Bella, there is something we need to talk about." I felt unexpectedly nervous, as if I was preparing to trick her in some way. I wasn't. It was the truth I was hoping to impart. "It's about you, and what you are now."

"What I am?" She looked baffled. "I'm Bella."

I smiled. "Yes, you are, but you are more than that. Bella, you are a vampire."

She shook her head, looking sad. "No, Alice, that was before. I lost that life when I lost him."

"No, Bella, you are a vampire. Look." I picked up a rock from the small cascade she had created in her breakdown the day before and crushed it to dust. "Now you try." I tossed a stone to her and she caught it automatically.

She considered the stone for a moment and then dropped it to the floor. "I don't feel like playing around today, Alice."

I looked back at where Jasper and the others were concealed. I could just see the outline of them through the trees. Jasper shrugged. Apparently, he had no better ideas. I didn't either. Bella already looked defeated, and the day had barely started. I could sit here all day attempting to convince her of the truth, but at what cost?

I heard muttering and then Jasper's voice cutting across the muttering firmly. "There is absolutely no way!"

I wondered what they were talking about, but I couldn't leave Bella to find out now she was talking.

"Bella, do you remember what we spoke about yesterday?" I ventured. "About you seeing Carlisle." I didn't want to mention Esme for fear of creating another violent reaction.

She nodded tentatively. "You think he can help me."

"Do you feel up to a journey? We have to drive to see him."

"I guess," she said carefully. "Do we have to go far?"

"It's about a day's drive, and then we have to go on a boat." There was no point in lying to her, however tempting it may be to play down what was to come. It would only do more damage in the long run.

She was silent for so long I wondered if she had heard me. She sat with her legs pulled to her chest and her chin resting on her folded arms, staring into space.

"Bella?"

"I can do that." She said it so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "That's brilliant." I jumped to my feet.

"We're going now?" she asked, sounding slightly scared.

"If you're ready. There is something I need to do, and then we can go."

"Okay, then."

I reached out to touch her arm, but again she shrank back from my touch. I hated to see her cringe away from me, but it was something I had to accept. I just hoped when she saw Edward again, she wouldn't react the same way; it would kill him.

I stood and brushed off my clothing before heading back to where the others were concealed. Jasper looked concerned, and he enveloped me in my arms as soon as I reached him. The others looked uncomfortable, like children caught in misdeeds.

"Talk quickly," I said through gritted teeth. "What have you been plotting?"

Jasper ran a soothing hand through my hair. "It's nothing to worry about. No one is going to do anything, right?" He glared at Peter who shrugged.

"I think it's the only way."

"What's the only way?" I was getting annoyed with the avoidance.

"Peter wants to bring a human here."

I didn't need any further explanation. The rest of his plan was obvious. He wanted Bella to feed from a human. I was disgusted by the idea. We couldn't let Bella take a human life; it would destroy her.

"Absolutely not!" I said firmly.

"That's what I said," Jasper said with satisfaction.

"Hey. I'm only trying to help." Peter raised his hands in front of him in a placatory manner.

Jasper looked a little guilty in the face of Peter's reaction. "And we appreciate it, Pete, but you don't know Bella like we do. She would never forgive herself if she killed a human."

Bella was growing restless in her camp. She kept picking things up only to set them down again. I had been away too long.

"We need to get going," I said looking to Jasper.

He nodded. "How are we going to handle this?"

"I think Jasper and I should travel with Bella, and the rest of you should go ahead on foot. Bella isn't ready to meet new people right now." Garrett opened his mouth to argue, but I forestalled him. "I know you have seen her before, but I don't know how she will react to seeing you again. We need to keep her as calm as possible for this to work."

He nodded his acquiescence, and I headed back into Bella's camp.

It took over an hour to prepare Bella to leave. Though she was taking nothing but the clothes—if they could be called that—she was wearing, she still seemed to find endless excuses to delay our departure. We helped as much as we could to speed up the process; Jasper buried the deer, and I refilled her canteen and kicked dirt over the campfire.

Finally, around noon, she took one last searching look around her camp and nodded. "I'm ready."

We made slow progress through the jungle; since Bella didn't feel comfortable running at her full speed, we moved at a fast jog. It was late afternoon by the time we reached the car. This was our first test. I had no idea how Bella would react to being out of the safe haven of the jungle. She faltered at the edge of the trees and looked around with wide-eyed wonder.

"It's okay, Bella," I said softly, wary of startling her. "I'm here."

Like a frightened child, she closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't think I can do this, Alice. What if they find out that I have gone?"

I felt Jasper's calming influence as he concentrated on Bella. "We will protect you," he promised.

Bella looked into his eyes, and it was as if they were communicating silently. After a long time, she spoke. "Like Phoenix?"

Jasper laughed. "As long as you stay with us and don't go rushing off to meet psychotic vampires, yes, just like Phoenix."

She smiled and nodded. "I'm worth it?"

When Jasper spoke, his voice was a little husky with emotion. "You are most definitely worth it."

Satisfied by his words, she stepped out of the trees and into the bright sunlight.

In retrospect, I should have expected it. I should have known what would happen, but in all our planning, every one of us had overlooked the effects of the sun.

At first, she didn't seem to notice anything was different. It was as if she couldn't see the prisms of light glinting on her skin. She was far more concerned about the car. It was apparent that the idea of getting into it was frightening her. It wasn't until I reached out and opened the door for her that she reacted, and I realized just how badly we had screwed up in all of our planning.

My own skin was reflecting the sun, casting small rainbows in the air. Bella looked at me and smiled ruefully; then, she froze. Her eyes snapped to my outstretched arm and then to her own.

She broke down.

There was no other word for it. She crumpled to the ground with a howl unlike anything I had ever heard in my life. It spoke of deep desperate agony beyond imagining.

"Alice!" Jasper grabbed at me, pulling me into his arms.

I struggled against his hold. I wanted to comfort Bella, and I couldn't understand why he was restraining me. It wasn't until he breathed my name again that I realized he wasn't restraining me but embracing me.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I was torn between my mate and my best friend. They both apparently needed me.

"Oh, god." He moaned. "I can't bear it."

"What?" I cupped his face in my hands and looked deep into his eyes. "What's happening?"

He shook his head and looked down at Bella. "It's her. I can't…" He took a deep breath. "She's hurting so much."

Bella was still crumpled on the ground, her forehead pressed against the asphalt. Her arms were wrapped about her chest as if that was all that was keeping her together. The howls had ceased, but she was drawing shaky, uneven breaths.

I knelt beside her and reached out a tentative hand to her. I was relieved that she didn't shy away from my touch; she remained still and allowed me to rub—what I hoped were—soothing circles on her back.

"It's okay, Bella," I soothed. "Everything is going to be okay."

She began to sob and inarticulate words broke through. "Can't live… this… die… day… too much… should have fought… protected him."

"Jasper, can you help?"

He still looked like he was in pain, but he nodded, and I felt the calming waves reach us a moment later. I allowed them to fill me and concentrated on feeling my own peace in hopes of helping him. His gift was affecting Bella, too. I felt the tension beneath my hand ease somewhat. He squatted down beside me and took my free hand in his own. I knew physical contact enhanced his gift and understood that he was using my emotions to help him stay calm.

"How is she now?" I addressed my question to Jasper, but it was Bella that answered.

"Broken." She pushed herself back to her feet and looked longingly to the forest we had just left.

"You can't go back," Jasper said, correctly interpreting her longing gaze.

"Why?" There was no heat in her words, and it made me feel like a villain. She wasn't defying him; she was asking why we were keeping her from the one place where she felt safe.

"Because you have already come so far," he said. "Bella, you can't go back to hiding, not now you that know the truth."

"Truth!" She laughed; it was a jarring almost hysterical sound. She began pacing a circle around us, muttering to herself. "Not the truth… another trick. Pictures again, making me see… Punishment. It can still happen… Carlisle and Jasper… I just have to wait."

Horrible understanding dawned on me. She didn't believe she was really a vampire. She thought it was another one of Zafrina's tricks. I suspected I knew what she meant by 'I just have to wait'. She thought—or perhaps hoped—that Carlisle or Jasper would kill her. The thought sickened me and sent a wave of hatred through me towards the Volturi. They were beyond evil and had to be stopped—though how we could do that without dying ourselves, I didn't know. We would have to find a way; Edward would not rest until the people that had done this were punished. And truthfully, I didn't think I could, either.

Bella ceased her pacing and looked at me shrewdly. She seemed to be deciding something. Eventually, she nodded and smiled.

"Okay, let's go see Carlisle."

Thanks for reading. As always, if you would like a teaser of the next chapter, let me know in a review or a PM.

Simaril x