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As always, huge thanks go to my pre-reader/cheerleader team Gredelina1 and IamTheAlleyCat. Also to Snarkymuch for beta'ing this chapter and listening to all my bitching when the words wouldn't flow. I love you all.
~ Chapter Twenty-Five— Justification ~
Jasper POV
We didn't see Edward and Bella again for a few days after Bella ran from us. Alice kept an eye on them and saw that they were fine, just enjoying some time together to heal. On the third day, Alice and I took a trip over to the mainland to check in on the family's progress searching for allies. Peter, Charlotte, and Garrett were back from their travels and had good news. They had reached their friends, and they were willing to stand with us. Esme and Carlisle were still in England, searching for an old friend of Carlisle's called Alastair. Rosalie and Emmett were in Europe, seeking some nomads they had met on their travels.
"So how are things going with the little lady?" Peter asked as we strolled through the city.
"Not good. She hasn't returned to the human delusion yet, but I have a feeling it's lurking under the surface."
He stopped walking and leaned against a wall. "So what are you going to do?"
"We're going to try something called regression therapy. At the moment, her memories of everything after she was taken are blocked. We need to open them up to see exactly what happened to her."
His brow creased with confusion. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you going to force her to relive the hardest moment of her life? What do you hope to achieve?"
His question caught me off guard. I would have thought it was obvious. "The more we know the better we can help her."
He raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like an excuse you just pulled out of your ass. Try again."
"We need to know," I said again, more firmly now.
"Course you do. You're positively burning with curiosity, but don't pretend it's for her benefit."
"It is!" I was growing annoyed with him. "We need to know so we can help her so we can fight for her."
"That's more like it. You're thinking like a tactician now. The more you know, the better armed you are. You can lie to your family all you like, but I know you, Jasper."
That was the crux of it. Peter knew me better than anyone, the only exception being Alice. I wanted to help Bella, but more than that, I wanted to be prepared. We were going up against the Volturi, and unless we were prepared, we were going to die. The more Bella could tell us about what happened to her, the better. She had been in the lion's den, so to speak.
"Am I doing the wrong thing?" I asked.
"What does your conscience tell you?"
I laughed. "I gave up on my conscience years ago. As far as I'm concerned, that's just a person's excuse for being a coward."
"Then you have your answer." He pushed away from the wall and ambled along the street again.
"That's not helpful!" I called after him.
He halted and turned to face me. "I'm sorry to say I am not concerned with helping you at the moment, Jasper. You're all missing something about the little lady, and until you realize what that is, you deserve all you get."
"What am I missing?" I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to a halt. "Peter, I am trying to save my family here. If you know something, you need to tell me."
"Fine." He huffed. "Since you seem to have retired your brain lately, I'll tell you. You are missing the fact Bella lived in the jungle for two years and survived."
"As a vampire," I said. "It's not like some stray jaguar could have taken her out."
He was growing exasperated with me, and I didn't know why. "No, not as a vampire, as a human. What you are failing to see is the fact that she had gold eyes when we saw her. Someone was hunting for her." With that, he shrugged off my restraining arm and walked away, leaving me thoroughly confused.
More frustrating than Peter's cryptic words were the others' reactions. When we regrouped at the dock, Peter wasted no time in telling Garrett and Charlotte what we were planning, and they both responded with the same eye roll and, "I hope you know what you are doing."
I wished Edward was with us to read their minds as I was completely clueless as to what they were thinking.
Surprisingly, they all climbed into the boat with Alice and me when we headed back to the island.
"You're going to need all the help you can get," Peter said cryptically.
xXx
When we got back to the island, Edward and Bella were nowhere in sight. Leaving Peter, Charlotte, and Garrett at the house, Alice and I headed out to see them. I wanted to tell Bella about our guests before she arrived at the house. I didn't want them to scare her.
When we got to their cave, we found them frolicking in the lake at the foot of their waterfall. Turning my back to allow them to find cover—I had already seen more of my brother than I ever wanted to, not to mention Bella—I waited for them to come to us.
Bella was more relaxed than I had seen her so far, and her emotions showed only the slightest trepidation at my arrival. I wished I knew how she differentiated between me and the bad Jasper. We were the same person, but sometimes she reacted with fear.
"We have guests," I said when they were dressed and in front of us again.
Bella's fear spiked, and she gripped Edward's hand tightly. He looked at me quizzically.
Peter, Charlotte, and Garrett insisted on coming back with us. They seem to think we are going to need their help.
"Who's here?" Bella asked in a hard tone. I could feel the tension emanating from her.
"It's some old friends of ours. They won't hurt me or you." Edward was evidently responding to something in her thoughts. "You've met one of them before. Garrett. He was the one that found you in the jungle."
"I remember him. He brought you all back." Her tone was indifferent, which surprised me. I would have expected a stronger reaction to him.
"He is here to see us. Do you want to come meet him?" Edward asked.
She shrugged. "Okay."
Edward, we need to talk.
He nodded to me.
Alice took Bella's free hand, and we set off for the house. Since Bella had allowed Alice to hug her, Alice sought contact every time she could.
After checking that Bella was okay, Edward and I went for a run.
As soon as we were out of hearing range for Bella and Alice, Edward stopped and turned to me. "What's troubling you?"
I ran over my conversation with Peter in my mind, making sure to show him Peter's cryptic statement about Bella's survival and her source of food.
"I don't understand," he said. "Does Peter think someone else was there with her?"
I shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."
He considered for a long time and then shook his head. "I don't think there is anything to worry about here. I admit I am cautious of regression therapy and would feel better if Carlisle was here, but I think Peter is overreacting. You know better than anyone how loathe I am to cause Bella pain, but it must be done. We need to know what happened so we could help her."
I felt better with his agreement. If there was anyone that had Bella's best interests at heart, it was Edward.
"I do," he said, responding to my thoughts.
He wanted a chance to speak with our guests before Bella and Alice reached us, so we ran to the house. Garrett was sitting on one of the chairs on the deck, reading a book from Carlisle's collection. Peter and Charlotte were standing on the shore. They looked up at the sound of our approach. Charlotte flitted straight to Edward's side and took his hand in her own.
"I am so happy for you, Edward," she said with feeling. "I can't imagine how it must feel for you to have her back."
He smiled at her. "Thank you, Charlotte."
Peter locked eyes with Edward, evidently saying something in his thoughts. Edward nodded in return. They had a difficult relationship. They were never impolite to one another, but neither felt any real affection towards the other. Edward thought Peter was uncouth, and Peter believed that Edward was a prig.
"Bella will be here soon, and we need to talk before she gets here," Edward began. "I have no idea how she will react to you, but if she is able to remain calm and interact with you, you need to follow some ground rules." This was the prig in him coming out. "Don't touch her unless she seeks contact with you. She is still growing accustomed to our touch and doesn't need to be overwhelmed. Let her do things at her own speed; don't push her." Peter scoffed, and Edward frowned. "Do you have something to share?"
"Nope, I'll leave that to Bella."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I'm sure Jasper already filled you in on our little talk." Edward nodded. "Then you know I think it's a bad idea."
"I don't know why, though. You are concealing your thoughts from me." Edward was clearly uncomfortable. He relied on his gift too much.
"I am concealing my thoughts because I think you deserve what you get if it goes wrong."
Edward growled. "If you think Bella will be hurt, I need to know."
"I know that you aren't doing this for the right reasons. Your curiosity is driving you here, not Bella's welfare."
Edward growled.
"That's enough," I said firmly. "Bella and Alice are almost here, and we have one more warning to impart. Whatever you do, show no hostility to Edward when she is here. She will happily take a chunk out of you. Carlisle is evidence of that."
Peter chuckled darkly. "I'll show no hostility to Edward, don't you worry."
I would have liked to question him further, but at that moment, Alice and Bella broke through the trees. Bella faltered at the sight of three new vampires, and her anxiety peaked.
Edward ran to her and took her free hand in his own. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked.
She tamped down her anxiety and nodded. "I can do this."
Slowly, they began to walk towards us. Peter pulled Charlotte to his side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It looked like he was merely embracing her, but in fact he was preparing to pull her behind him for protection. It seemed my warning had made an impact after all.
"Bella, these are our friends, Peter, Charlotte, and Garrett." Alice gestured to each in turn.
"We've met already, haven't we, beautiful?" Garrett smiled widely. "And I have to say, you're looking a lot better than last time I saw you."
Bella looked at the floor. "You brought them back to me," she said quietly.
"Ummm, yeah, I guess I did." Garrett wasn't sure if she saw that as a good thing or not, and it made his reaction cautious.
She looked him in the eye and smiled shyly. "Thank you."
"You are most welcome."
Bella saw the book Garrett had been reading, and her eyes perused the cover with interest.
"I don't have much of a library myself," he said. "It's hard to build one living on the road."
She nodded in acknowledgment. "Same for the jungle."
Peter laughed loudly, and Bella's attention was drawn to him. He smiled at her and winked. She ducked her eyes but smiled in return.
See how well she's doing? I thought to Edward.
He nodded and smiled, radiating pleasure. Talking with others was a big deal for Bella, and she was handling it much better than any of us expected. It gave me confidence.
The rest of Bella's visit passed quickly. She was uncomfortable at times, but she masked it well. Alice was even able to lure her into swimming in the ocean with Charlotte. The rest of us sat on the shore, watching while the girls gamboled in the waves. Bella seemed entranced with the fact she was able to hold her breath indefinitely.
When the sun began to sink towards the horizon, Bella and Edward departed for their waterfall. Edward had suggested that they stay the night at the house, but Bella refused point blank to step inside. None of us understood the reason behind her fear of the house, but it was immense.
Once they departed, we lit a fire in one of the pits Esme had Emmett build for her, and we sat around it, chatting amiably. Peter and Charlotte told us of the vampires they had tracked down to act as witnesses for us. They had amassed an impressive ten people. Some of them I had never met before. Interestingly, one of them was gifted. His ability was to create a sensation of repulsion when you looked at him for an extended period of time. More unusual than that was the fact he seemed to have been one of Victoria's newborns, and he wasn't alone; he had a friend called Bree that had somehow escaped us and the wolves.
When morning came again, Alice and I took a walk together.
"You're going to try the regression therapy today," she stated.
"I am. Have you seen anything that will happen?"
"No, nothing past you and Edward talking to her about it. She doesn't know it's coming; therefore, she hasn't decided how to respond."
I sighed. I had hoped for Alice's guidance in this half-formed plan, especially after Peter's clear opposition.
"What are you worried about?" she asked, pulling me down to sit beside her on the sand.
When I was seated, she curled into my lap and took my face in her hands.
"I'm worried about what Peter said," I admitted. "I'm worried I am doing this for the wrong reasons."
She smiled and kissed me chastely, moving back when I tried to deepen the kiss. "The fact that you are so worried means your priorities are right. This isn't about hurting Bella; it's about helping her. You said yourself she can't begin to heal until she has faced her demons."
"That was before, though."
"Before what? Before Peter got into your head? Because he doesn't know what he is talking about. He doesn't know Bella like we do. She's strong. She can handle this."
Mollified by her words, I relaxed into her embrace. I was doing the right thing, I told myself. This wasn't about curiosity; this was about helping Bella return to us.
xXx
Bella and Edward were waiting for us on the shore when Alice and I returned. Unexpectedly, it was Bella that spoke first.
"Edward says you are going to help me today."
"I aim to," I said. "I want to take you back through your memories to find the truth of what happened to you. I believe knowing what happened is the key to untangling the confusion you are feeling."
She nodded agreeably. "What do I have to do?"
I was encouraged by her response. She seemed as eager to get started as we were.
"Let's start with some breathing exercises."
She tilted her head to the side. "I don't need to breathe anymore. Alice said so."
"That's true, but what I am going to do involves relaxing, and breathing exercises can help you to relax and get in the right frame of mind."
She looked appeased. "Okay then."
I sat down on the sand and gestured for her to join me. She sat cross-legged in front of me, and Alice and Edward sat on either side of her.
"Bella, I want you to place one hand on Edward's chest and feel it rise and fall as he breathes."
She did as I asked, and Edward exaggerated his breaths.
"That's right, Bella. Breathe in nice and deep and slowly breathe out."
She calmed much faster than I expected. Her eyes slipped closed, and I felt her emotional signature slip from the tension before into serene relaxation. She felt almost like a human falling asleep.
"Bella, can you hear me?" It felt strange to ask a vampire that question, but her emotions caught me off guard.
She smiled slightly. "Of course."
"Good. I want you to think back to the day Victoria came for you. Can you remember what happened?"
"We are camping. Edward is gone, and Esme and I are alone with the wolf. We're talking about college. Esme is going to come with me. It's not cheating." She spoke in a dull monotone. It was the same tone Edward had used when he was speaking for the wolves. More disturbing was the fact she spoke in the present tense.
A small smile crossed her lips.
"What happens next, Bella?"`
"There is a sound. Esme tells me to stay where I am."
Her expression was tense now, but her emotions remained calm. Edward looked at me with concern.
I think she's okay. I tried to reassure him, but the fact he could read the concern in my thoughts didn't do much to reassure him.
Bella continued without my prompting her. "There is a scream. I can't stay hidden. I have to see. Esme and Victoria are fighting, and Seth is fighting Riley. I get sick. I can't bear to watch."
She was rocking back and forth, but her emotions remained serene. I looked to Edward to see if he could see what she was staying in her thoughts, but his expression caught me off guard. He looked positively desperate and was gazing at Bella with a look of horror. He was clearly seeing it all.
"What happened next, Bella?" Alice asked.
"Victoria has Esme on the ground. She's going to kill her." Her voice was no longer serene; it was a groan of pain. "I have to help her. I have to bleed. I take the rock and cut my arm. I break my promise."
"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," Edward moaned.
She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "The blood runs down my arm. Victoria comes for me…"
"And then?" I was almost scared of the answer.
For a long moment, Bella remained silent. I feared she was caught in the memory after all, but she wasn't. She looked up at me with onyx black eyes.
"And then we died," she said in a menacing growl.