Chapter Thirty — Captured

Bella POV

Edward looked at me with blank confusion in his eyes. "You want to go back to the jungle?"

"I need to go back."

Jasper eyed me with a shrewd expression. "Why? I understand that you have had a shock, hearing what you have today, but we can take care of you here. We don't want you to leave us."

"Please, Bella," Edward said with feeling, "you don't have to live like that again."

What a bunch of idiots! For once the cruel voice of Isabella and I were in agreement. They were being remarkably obtuse.

"I'm not planning to live there," I said patiently. "I just need to see the place once more."

That was something I was certain of. I felt like I had come out of a deep haze that had been with me since the moment I learned of Edward's perceived death. Now I was myself again in a way I had not been for two years, and I needed to say a lasting goodbye to the person I had been before. Without that goodbye there was no way for me to move on with Edward and to forgive. As I had lied to him and them all. I said I forgave them, but I wasn't there yet. I couldn't help but resent their failings. If they had stopped to consider their opponent for a moment they would have seen the error. There was no way Victoria would have allowed me the peaceful death of drowning when she had other grand plans for my demise.

I heard Edward's audible sigh of relief. "If you need to go back, I will take you."

I reached out and squeezed his hand. He softened visibly at the contact; I had hurt him when I moved from his embrace.

"When do we leave?" Alice asked.

"Soon. And not we, just Edward and I."

Alice opened her mouth, probably to argue, but I cut her off with a raised hand.

"I would go alone, but I know Edward would never allow it. I don't want anyone else to go back to that place with me."

"We've been there before," Jasper pointed out.

"And I am grateful for it, but this needs to be a journey Edward and I make alone."

I knew this journey was going to open up some old wounds, and I didn't want others to witness that. They had already seen enough of my pain laid bare.

Edward watched me carefully for a moment, perhaps listening to my thoughts as I reasoned my need. I found that I didn't like having him read my every thought. If he heard my mind, he would soon hear that I was not so forthcoming in my forgiveness as I pretended. As the thought formed in my mind I felt something in me shift. I panicked for a moment, thinking Isabella was taking over me again.

Edward inhaled sharply. "Bella, are you okay?"

I nodded mutely, even as I prepared myself to battle the being that lurked in my body. But she did not come. She did not even whisper to me; I was alone in my own mind.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Jasper was alert for any sign of danger. He gave me a speculative look, as if assessing me as a threat. I supposed that was what Isabella was to him: a threat.

"I can't hear her." For the very first time, Edward was looking at me with open fear in his eyes.

"Isabella?" Jasper questioned, looking at me shrewdly.

I shook my head mutely.

"Bella?"

"I'm still me." My voice was barely audible. I was confused and a little scared. I didn't understand what was happening to me.

"What's happening," Garrett asked.

"I can't hear her thoughts," Edward said. "Other than during Isabella's appearance, Bella's thoughts have been clear for me to hear. Now it is like pressing against a brick wall. I can feel the thoughts there, but I cannot hear them.

"Are you doing something to him?" There was no accusation in Charlotte's tone, but I bristled regardless.

"No! Except…"

Alice frowned. "Except what?"

"I was thinking about Edward being able to hear my thoughts and something changed. I thought it was Isabella, but she isn't here."

Wrong. I am always here. I stiffened at the sound of her voice.

Jasper eyed me curiously. "Is she talking to you?"

I nodded. "But she's just in my mind. I'm still me."

But was I? I didn't feel completely myself. I felt more in control than before, but also scared. It was as if I had tapped a new depth in myself. I was more aware than now. More aware of every part of myself. And there was the reason. I felt something in my mind. Not the whisperings of Isabella, or the haze that had haunted me, but something new.

"Tell me what you are thinking," Edward implored.

"I think I did it." As I admitted it to him, I knew it was true. Whatever was shielding my mind from Edward was under my control. I could feel it even now; a veil around my mind. As I concentrated I felt it flex and recoil like a muscle. I focused on it and tried to force it away to open my mind to Edward once again. It was hard. As if I was fighting against myself.

I knew when it had worked as Edward gasped. "I can hear!" he exclaimed. "What did you do?"

I didn't know how to articulate what had happened. It was like trying to explain breathing. It was natural, a part of me. "I think I can control it."

"This is excellent." Jasper spoke with feeling. "You have a gift!"

"I do?"

"Of course, Carlisle always suspected it with the way you blocked Edward when you were human." His words ran into one another with his excitement. "We need to learn more. We have to see Eleazar. He can help you. If this thing can be harnessed it could be a valuable tool."

He exchanged a look with Edward, and I saw something pass between them, some nugget of understanding. I didn't like the look. It made me uncomfortable.

I had never considered my gift or lack thereof. I never wanted immortality for the advantages of body and mind, I wanted it so I could have my forever with Edward. This new facet of myself felt natural though, as if I had always known it was there but had not accepted it before.

They fell into excited discussion of me and my clouded mind. I allowed their words to rush over me. I wasn't concerned with being honed into a tool. I just wanted to go back to the jungle already. I needed the peace.

xXx

Edward POV

The discovery of Bella's gift lightened the tension we were all feeling, leaving us all buoyant. For my part, I was elated that Bella would now be shielded from Jane's cruelties. Jasper and Peter took a more militaristic view. If Bella could be taught to control and develop her ability she would be able to protect us when we came to the fight with the Volturi. As there would be a fight, it was inevitable. As soon as they discovered she had left her jungle home they would search for her. I would protect her when they came if it was the last thing I did.

As little as she wanted to, Bella allowed them to work with her for the next few days. The only gift she was capable of shielding herself from was mine. So we spent hours on the beach with her sitting opposite me and shielding her mind while I attempted to break through the barrier. I could, on occasion, break through. Bella said that she could feel me pressing against her mind. It felt like pressure on her temple. Isabella seemed to approve of this training as she left Bella alone while she worked.

Bella grew impatient with the delays, I knew, but it was not until a full week later that she finally put her foot down and demanded that we leave the next day.

"I've trained as much as I can," she said patiently in response to Jasper's protests. "I can almost always block him now."

"We need a different test," Alice said. "Edward's gift is not invasive enough."

"You think?" Bella snapped. "I'd call having my mind fucked with invasive enough, tha— Damnit!"

Isabella was making her presence known. Again. These small slips were to be expected, but they still bothered me. I hated that Bella was so tormented by her own mind.

Bella looked to Alice with desperation in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Alice hugged her. I know, Bella. I hate her too. "That's okay," she said lightly, a contradiction to the grim tone of her thoughts. "At least she keeps things interesting."

Bella scrubbed her hands over her face and took a deep breath. "What were you saying about a new test?"

Alice looked uncertain, but under Bella's close scrutiny, she spoke. "It's just that Edward's gift is not invasive in the way that Jane's is. We have a friend, Kate, that has a power similar to Jane's. I think we should have you train with her."

Jasper nodded approvingly. "That's a good idea. As it stands, she can block Edward, which means she may be able to block Aro. If she can learn to block Kate, she may be able to block Jane, too."

Bella scowled. "You think she can still hurt me?"

Alice shrugged. "There is no way of knowing. It's better to play it safe."

For a long time, Bella was silent. When she eventually spoke it was in a defeated tone. "Okay. I'll work with this Kate, but not before I have been to the jungle."

Jasper opened his mouth, possibly to protest, but Bella cut him off. "I know you are all eager to work with this, but I need to deal with my demons first. Once that is behind me, I can concentrate on what's coming."

None of us had mentioned the preparations for the coming fight with the Volturi. At first she was too weak to handle the knowledge, later she was too strong. I was sure that if she knew our friends and family were preparing to fight to protect her, she would want to be a part of it. I wanted to shelter her from that for as long as possible. Now didn't seem the right time to tell her either. She deserved a little respite from the drama, especially while she was already battling for herself.

Taking their cue from me, no one else mentioned what was happening in Forks. Instead, Alice brought up a subject almost as tense. The rest of the family.

"While you are on the mainland, do you think you would be up to a visit with the family?" she asked.

Bella looked at her blankly.

"Only if you feel up to it."

"Would they want to see me?" she asked in a querulous voice.

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because the last time I saw them I took a chunk out of your daddy's neck!" Isabella was coming to the fore again.

"Is she gone?" Alice sounded uncomfortable.

Bella nodded. "I'm sorry about that. I can't always control her."

Jasper squeezed her shoulder. "We understand."

"No, you really don't," she said mournfully. "You don't have some monster living inside of you that takes over your body without your consent."

"True, but we understand it isn't your fault. You shouldn't be embarrassed by what she says. We are used to lack of tact at times. We live with Emmett after all."

"Back to the subject at hand," Alice said impatiently. "Are we having a family reunion, or not?"

"Joking aside, do you really think they will want to come here after what I did?"

"Absolutely," Alice said without hesitation. "We have been talking to them on the phone every day, and they really want to see you again."

"Not Rosalie, though."

"Rosalie will have to deal with it," Alice said in an offhand tone. "She understands it's not your fault."

"It kinda was," she said awkwardly. "I was the one that attacked Carlisle, not Isabella."

There was an echoing silence following her words. I remembered the moment my love had attacked my father. I thought it was Isabella's first appearance. Apparently I was wrong.

"It was you?" I framed my words as a question.

She ducked her head "I'm sorry. I thought I was protecting you. It looked like you had been hurt, and Carlisle was standing there. You said things to me in the jungle that confused me."

"What did he say?" Jasper asked.

"It doesn't matter now."

Jasper looked disappointed. "It all matters, Bella."

"No, it really doesn't," I said, "There is nothing left to tell us that can help us now." I cupped her chin and lifted my face to his. "Thank you for protecting me."

She smiled tentatively. "It's my job."

xXx

It was eventually decided that Bella and I would meet with the family on the mainland after we had taken our trip to the jungle. Depending on how Bella managed in the jungle, we would tell her about the forces we were gathering for her protection.

That was how Bella and I came to be standing in the darkest depths of the jungle facing a fairly innocuous cave. I had seen the place in the memories of my family, but it was surreal to be seeing the place with my own eyes. Bella had created a home for herself here; I could see the props of her human delusion spread about the place. I couldn't believe she had survived here for so long alone.

"It looks exactly the same." Her voice was a mere whisper. "I thought there would be some tangible change in the place."

"It's only been a couple of months, love."

"I know that. It's just that I expected it to look different seeing it with new eyes.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hoping to give comfort. She stared around the small clearing that had made up her home for the last two years. "I remember everything about the place. It's like slipping into an old life. I remember so much more now."

"What do you remember?"

"Hunting," she said simply. "The memories are Isabella's, but they are mine now, too. When the thirst would become too much I would set her free to hunt for me. I never knew where the food came from, it would just be there in the morning when I 'woke'. I would lay there all night, losing myself to memories. It's how I imagine dreaming to be for a human."

"Did anyone ever find you here, other than Garrett and the Volturi?"

"The lady with the pictures came sometimes with her friends. I think they were checking I was okay, but I always hid from them. I had the rules to abide by."

"But you let Alice see you?"

She looked uncomfortable. "I would see Alice sometimes. Without the pain. She was just a figment of my imaginations. I think the memories bled into my real life. Sometimes she would come and talk to me. When she arrived that day I thought it was just another hallucination. It wasn't until Jasper came without pain than I realized something was wrong."

"Or right," I said. "I think that was the first time things started going right for you."

She gnawed on her bottom lip. "I guess so. It didn't feel like it at the time though. When the Volturi came and hurt me, I thought it was my punishment."

"I swear, Bella, I will never let them hurt you again."

She turned into my embrace and rested her head against my chest. "I know that. I won't let them hurt you either."

We stayed like that for a long time, just taking comfort in one another. When she pulled away from me, I felt bereft.

"Do you want to go closer?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I think I have seen enough now."

She was blocking her thoughts from me, so I didn't know what she was thinking, but her face seemed calm enough. Entwining our hands we turned our back on the cave and began the journey back to civilization.

We had barely gone a mile when I heard new thoughts joining my own. At first I thought Bella had lifted her shield, but after a moment I realized the new voice was full of such hatred it could never be my Bella.

Aro said to bring her to the castle. He didn't say I couldn't have fun on the way.

I hissed. Jane was close, and from the sound of it, she wasn't alone. I could hear three other minds with hers.

There is someone new here. The girl is no longer alone. This voice was equally as familiar and detested. Demetri.

I lowered my head to Bella's ear and whispered, "The Volturi are close. When I tell you, I want you to run as fast as you possibly can. Get out of the jungle. Alice will find you."

She stiffened and her soft breaths faltered. "What are you going to do?"

"What I can to protect you." There was little I could do to physically protect her—there were too many of them to fight. but the possibility of my destruction would slow them. Jane and Demetri had hated me since the first time they laid eyes on me. They would not dismiss an opportunity to destroy me.

Bella gasped. "Edward, no!"

There was no time to argue. They were close; I could hear the sounds of their passage through the jungle. I pushed Bella away from me. "Run!"

Her gaze hardened and for the first time in days I could hear her thoughts crystal clear. No. You run!

She shoved me away from her and set off running. My momentary relief that she was running lasted less than a second before I realized she was running toward the Volturi rather than away.

"No!" I called after her, but her footsteps did not slow; instead, they sped up.

"Jane!" she screeched. "I'm here."

I heard a cruel laugh. "This is new, Isabella. You are usually cowering in your cave when we arrive. Are you really so anxious to see your masters?"

"She's not alone," Demetri said. "The Cullen boy is here too. I can sense him."

They came into my line of vision at that moment. Jane, Alec, Demetri and a hulking vampire I did not recognize, but who wore the dark cloak of the guard.

Jane smiled beatifically "Well, well, well, this is an unexpected surprise.

Bella threw herself at Jane, but before her clawed hands could make contact with Jane's face, she was on the floor writhing in agony. Alice was right—Bella had no protection from Jane's cruelties. I lunged forward to attack Jane, but the hulking vampire caught me and pinned me against his chest. I struggled for all I was worth, but it was no good. The vampire was as strong as Emmett.

Jane lifted her gaze from Bella and looked at me. "I would be happy to hurt you in her place."

"Do it!" I said through gritted teeth. "Hurt me and let her go."

Alec laughed. "Let her go? Really, boy, you have no idea how we operate, do you? We cannot let her go. Our masters have use of her."

The effects of Jane's power had lifted from Bella. She got to her feet again and stepped foolishly into Demetri's grasp. He pinned her arms behind her back. I waited for the pain to come to me, but it didn't. Jane was gazing at me with an expression of shrewd understanding. She pursed her lips. "I think I have a better idea of how to cause you pain. Alec, hold the girl."

A shimmer, like dust motes in the sun, crept along the ground toward Bella. She struggled against Demetri's arms, but he was too strong. As the mist reached her toes she stilled and her expression changed from twisted ferocity to blank indifference.

"Isabella!" I bellowed. "We need you!" I had to hope that some vestige of Isabella's protective instincts would come to our aid. Nothing changed though; Bella remained still and vacant. I cursed under my breath.

"What are we going to do with him?" The vampire holding me asked.

"Kill him," Alec suggested.

"Hmmm, it is an intriguing idea," Jane said thoughtfully.

I saw a vision of a burning pile of limbs in Jane's mind and knew she was tempted. I did not fear death for myself—the only thing that could hurt me was Bella. My death would hurt her, though. I had to fight with whatever weapons were available to me to survive. Pinned as I was in the vampire's arms, I could not fight physically. The only weapon available to me was words.

"You could do that, but what would your master think?" I asked. "We all know he wants me for his guard. Take me to the castle and I will serve him willingly."

Alec laughed. "You think he will want you after all this time. You were a passing fancy. He has far grander plans now."

"I think we will dispose of the boy," Jane said in her cruelest tones. "He is of no use to us now."

I struggled but my captor did not give an inch. Demetri stepped forwards and locked eyes with me. I thought I saw a hint of apology in his eyes as he lowered his head to my neck.

I was going to die. I knew it. I forced my eyes to stay open as I felt Demetri's breath on my neck, and I looked at the most beautiful vision in the world, my Bella. I wanted her face to be the last thing I saw.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said as I felt the pain of teeth tearing through my skin. "I'm so sorry."

There was pain, excruciating pain.

And then nothing.