Lost

By: Eressie

.

Chapter 3 – (Never) Give up

.

.

Merlin sat down heavily on a stone, breathless. Walking. Such a thing to take for granted. He thought as he wiped the sweat from his clammy brow.
For him it felt like he had been running nonstop at his greatest speed for hours, but in fact he had just been walking slowly for barely one. He felt so tired, his body was exhausted.
He looked at the light that shined in the distance and it felt like he was no more near it now than he was when he started walking. He wondered if he ever would reach it. He groaned and stretched out his legs. Why was he so tired? He could not find an explanation. He was not injured in any way, he knew that much anyway and he did not feel sick. Still his body and mind were exhausted… he wished he could remember what happened to him and how he ended up in the middle of nowhere.

His clothes were still wet from the rain, but now he was not so sure if they perhaps remained wet because of all the sweating.
He wiped his face with his sleeve and took a few deep breaths before standing up again. Dark spots danced before his eyes when he was back on his feet and he needed a moment to clear his vision.
He was walking again, stumbling his way onward with aching feet that felt heavy as stones. He was close to trip several times but amazingly he kept his balance.
Arthur spoke to him several times. Urging him on, keeping him moving towards the light. Merlin did not care if Arthur's voice was a hallucination or not, it helped him none the less. It was comforting and he did not feel so alone.
He did not know why Arthur wanted him to move forward like this, but he had no other option any way. He did not want to stay in the forest!

The creatures with the hallow eyes had left him, or at least he liked to think so. But every now and again a shadow would appear behind a tree or a stone and look at him with those creepy eyes. And every time Merlin looked back directly at them; they would disappear. It made him shudder.
The forest looked much brighter now; it almost looked like daylight-almost. And it made Merlin more at ease. The light he was walking towards looked brighter as well, almost like the sun. What exactly the glow was, he did not know, but he could not wait to find out.

The ground felt soft under his boots, and he felt like for each step he took his foot sunk deep into the ground trapping it there and then he had to struggle to get it out.
Half an hour ago he had tried to call Kilgharrah so that he could fly him home. But the great dragon had not come and Merlin could not feel the bond that he shared with the mighty beast. That, together with not being able to use or feel his magic made him despair. Trying to keep his hopes up; he tried to push the miserable feelings aside, they only made him feel weaker.
He was on his last strength now; he did not have much left in him. Everything spun around him, and his shaking limbs could barely hold him upright.
He stopped walking and stood still. Staring blankly down at the ground. He had had enough. He was too tired to go on.

"Merlin," Arthur's voice seemed to echo around him, "don't give up."

Merlin shook his head, but immediately regretted that decision as he almost fell over. He was so lightheaded!

He blinked and tried to swallow the hurtful lump he felt in his throat. "I don't think I can do this anymore." he whispered hoarsely.

"Merlin."

Merlin frowned and Arthur's voice sounded nearer now. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he recoiled at the touch and whipped his head to the side. The blond man beside him smiled at his startled reaction and held his hands up as a sign that he meant no harm.

Merlin's eyes widened and he felt himself opening his mouth and closing it several times without being able to speak. "Arthur." he laughed astonished. "I can't believe you're here!"

Arthur chuckled. "Where else would I be?" he asked and put his hand on Merlin's shoulder again. "Come, sit down over here, you look dead on your feet."

Merlin nodded. "I am…" he wanted nothing else but to do just that, but still he hesitated. He frowned. "But, I… I thought you wanted me to keep walking towards the light?"

Arthur snorted and looked around. "What light? It looks more like a small sparkle if nothing else!" he said, sounding like he was trying to belittle the light, and Merlin frowned at his strange words. "You will not reach it no matter how hard you try, so why not just rest here for a bit?"

"Arthur-"

"What, Merlin?" Arthur laughed. "Come now, rest you weary bones and I'll make us some food."

Merlin nodded- giving in. Rest sounded lovely! He felt like he could sleep for years and it would probably still not be enough. And food! Now that he thought about it he was starving!

"Merlin!" Arthur's voice interrupted his though of sleep and food. And Merlin looked up at Arthur at his side but the voice had not come from him.

"Wha…"

"Merlin!" the voice exclaimed again; interrupting the warlock. Merlin glanced towards the light- the voice came from there! How odd. "That is not me," the voice said again, "ignore him, and continue to follow my voice!"

The Arthur at his side snorted. "Would I really have you walking like this? Exhausted as you are? Don't listen to him, he's fake. I care for your welfare, my friend, come let us rest." 'Arthur' said and tried to coax him to the side.

Merlin felt torn. Which Arthur should he listen to? This one felt and looked real, the other one was just a voice… it was probably just a hallucination. But then again… so could this real-looking Arthur be as well. He looked back and forth between the light and the man at his side. He should stay. He was so worn-out and here was his best friend offering him a break from the torment of trying to move around in a too weary body.

"Come on, you idiot." was the only thing that the 'voice-Arthur' said, interrupting Merlin's thoughts.

The warlock's eyes widened. That was the real Arthur, it had to be! The one at his side were being way too nice to him.
He frowned at the fake Arthur at his side, and he hoped that he did not make the wrong decision. He shook off 'Arthur's' hand on his shoulder and took a few steps forward and away from the man.

Arthur looked hurt and stretched out his hand after the warlock. "Where are you going, my friend? Stay. Please stay."

Merlin shook his head. "You're not Arthur. I don't know who you are. You are probably not even here, you just a trick my brain made up."

It hurt him to walk away from 'Arthur'. The heartbroken look on the fake king's face almost made him stay longer. But he could not, he was not real. He hoped he was not real.
He continued to walk and the Arthur he had met did not try to stop him anymore, and it made him more confident that he had been right. If it indeed had been the real Arthur, he would have made it near impossible for Merlin to leave. The king would surely have tried to knock him unconscious or something because he would not have let Merlin walk away from him that easily.

Merlin walked and walked, ignoring the protests his body was making. The light looked bigger for each step he took and that urged him on.
He was practically asleep on his feet right now; his body seemed to move on its own. He barely knew where he put his feet anymore, and that lead to what he had been dreading this whole time.

He fell and he fell hard; landing sprawled out on the damp forest floor. It must have hurt badly, but Merlin could barely tell. He was too tired to care.
He lay with his eyes closed. This was nice. He hurt more than he ever had before, he was dizzy and exhausted. But still; the hard, bumpy, wet ground could not be more comfortable than even the most luxurious of beds. He sighed in approval.

"Merlin." Arthur's voice was heard soon after.

Merlin groaned loudly. "Go away, Arthur."

"Get up."

"No."

"Merlin…"

"No, Arthur," he said with a broken voice and tears found their way out through his closed eyes, "I can't. I just can't! I don't have any more strength left in me."

Arthur's voice fell silent and Merlin thought that he had finally left him alone. He relaxed once more and felt himself drift away towards sleep. But suddenly he was woken up from his near slumber by the voice again.

"If you have no more strength to hold yourself up, then have some of mine, my dear friend."

The light before Merlin shined brighter and he could feel the heat on his face, he slowly opened his eyes and the light stung in his eyes. He tried to shield from the light with his hands but once his eyes had adjusted to the brightness, he lowered the hand again. A large smile appeared on his lips and he laughed in relief when he saw an arm reach out through the burning glow towards him.

"Come," he heard Arthur say, "take my hand."

And with the last effort he could muster, Merlin reached up and Arthur wrapped his strong fingers around his weakened hand.

A smile could be heard in Arthur's voice. "Got you."

And Merlin knew no more.

The next time Merlin opened his eyes, everything looked so warm and pleasant. He lay in a bed, more importantly his own bed. He yawned and stretched out his arms but a frown appeared on his face as he felt the soreness of his body.
He sensed a presence at his right side and he turned his head towards it. There on a chair beside his bed sat a tired looking king, the real one this time Merlin was very glad to see.

Merlin gave his friend a drowsy smile. "Hi, Arthur."

The king made a strange noise and looked like he was going to break down and cry. "It's good to see you awake again, my friend." he said with a smile and put his hand on Merlin's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Merlin frowned. "What happened? How did we get out from the forest?"

Now it was Arthur's turn to frown. "Forest?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"We were in a forest just now, don't you remember, Arthur?" he asked. "It was wet and dark, and another you were there, and some strange shadow creatures with white eyes as well." Merlin looked up at Arthur's blank face. "You can't have forgotten that already…"

"Merlin," Arthur said carefully, "you have been ill. We have all been very worried, you have had a dangerously high fever for a week now." he paused and swallowed. "We… were not sure if you would make it."

Merlin was speechless. He looked at Arthur; dark rings could be seen on his face and it seemed like it had been many nights since the king had been sleeping properly. And from what Arthur just told him, that was most likely the case. Merlin's eyes widened in realization; that Arthur probably had been sitting there at his side this whole time.

"I…I've been ill?" Merlin asked. "I was never in that forest?"

Arthur shrugged. "Maybe you were in a way. Gaius told me that fever dreams are usually quite vivid. You have been talking in your sleep and you moved around a lot." he said. "I took a few punches every now and then, you also kicked me right in the gut one time."

Merlin flinched. "Um, sorry…"

Arthur just waved away the apology with his hand. "Don't worry about it. You punch like a girl."

Merlin sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "It felt so real." he said. "And I was so scared and so, so weak! I tried so hard to fight through it all, though. You told me to keep going."

"I did?" Arthur asked with a smile.

"Yes," Merlin said, smiling a little, "you would not let me give up."

Arthur nodded. "Of course would not let you, stupid." he said and after a pause he continued. "I talked to you while you were sleeping, you know. I don't know if you heard any of it, though." he chuckled, feeling embarrassed. "I have been here every day and night as much as possible. I tried to not be away from you too long." he said. "The knights and Gwen and Gaius have been here as well of course, constantly going in and out. I- we all have been very worried."

Merlin winced. "Sorry… again."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Only you would apologies for being sick."

Merlin smiled and put his left hand on Arthur's own that still rested on Merlin's right arm. "Are you all right?" the warlock asked softly, studying the king's tired face.

Arthur chuckled with tears in his eyes. "I am the one who should be asking you that."

Merlin grinned happily. "I'm fine now." he answered. "More than fine."

Arthur nodded. "Yeah, me too." he said. "Welcome back, my friend."

.

.

The end

.

That's it folks!
I hope you like it!
Sorry for mistakes XD
Thanks for reading and reviews are highly appreciated! You guys give me the motivation to keep writing :)

Oh and a kind of continuation to Lost is up now! Takes place the same time as this story but from Arthur's point of view.


/Eressie