Well, he was big... that was for sure.

("I bet you he weighs more than a bus."

"How much?"

"1000 ryu."

"Done.")

Seven feet tall, bald, weighing in at about 16 stone... this man was not to be taken lightly. At a glance, Kankuro could make out at least ten concealed weapons and that was only because Kankuro was a puppet master - the best in the class - and had been trained to notice these things. He noticed the way the man carried himself: ready to launch a deadly attack at any given moment; ready to kill or wound or fatally injure. This man was not a pro; he was better than a pro.

He approached, grinning cockily. The man probably knew what he could do already, but it was best not to take chances. If he had to spring an attack, it would be better to have an advantage.

The man extended his hand. The puppeteer shook it. "Hey. Name's Kankuro. I take it you're Schlippe."

The man looked down at the boy. The boy didn't flinch. "I am not Schlippe," the man said and even his Irish accent sounded threatening. If it had been anyone else, Kankuro would've laughed.

Temari stepped forward. "We waited for Schlippe," she said, "Five bloody hours we waited for Schlippe. Where is Schlippe?"

The man didn't answer. He was walking back over to the helicopter. Kankuro saw his sister scowl. Poor man. Even Gaara tiptoed around that scowl. The man was opening the door. Someone else was getting out. It was a boy. The boy was Gaara's age.

Temari had stopped scowling, a faint frown flickering across her features. Kankuro figured he looked much the same.

"Good afternoon," said the boy, "I do apologise; I was half asleep."

Temari's frown eased slightly and the boy smiled. The smile was fake.

"Schlippe is an alias," said the boy, "I would've thought you'd have realised. Doctor F. Roy Dean Schlippe. Freudian slip. My little joke."

No-one laughed. Gaara just looked irritated. The boy rolled his eyes. "You'd think they'd know who Freud was..." he muttered, "Honestly, these foreign people..."

"What's your real name, then?" Kankuro interrupted.

"Artemis. The second. Artemis Fowl the second. And this is Butler, my ...butler."

"Kankuro," said Kankuro, "Temari and Gaara."

Artemis nodded. "I see."

"What?"

"I take it we're on foot."

Temari grunted. "Whoopee. Another boy genius. Well, you're right; we're not mollycoddling anybody. If you wanna cry about it, do it in the desert; it could use a little water. If you're not going to cry, good. I don't like sensitive types."

Kankuro grinned, glad their new friend Artemis had stopped smiling: Artemis and Gaara were alike in that way... if they smiled, you shrivelled. And it wasn't a nice sort of shrivelling.

"Butler, is there any way we can bring the private jet along?"

Temari gave a harsh bark that was meant to be a laugh. "Are you joking? It's a desert town. A technologically kaput desert town full of extremely paranoid ninja who would rather blow up ten thousand people than let a stranger see them asleep. What do you think will happen if that great thing over there turns up out of the blue? That they'll go 'yay' and throw dango? Because, yeah. No. Terrible idea. Trust me. And I thought you were supposed to be intelligent."

"Point taken."

"And it's not as if they know you or anything! You're a kid! It'll be bad enough trying to convince the guards you're not enemy ninja, let alone giving them the satisfaction of being legally able to destroy you too!"

"I heard-"

"Anyway, it'll be good for those skinny peg legs of yours, to get some muscle on 'em. Your butler has the right idea, bulked up like he is... although it's kind of obvious to the enemy which one to avoid. Maybe he should-"

"We need to go." It was quietly spoken, but Kankuro gulped anyway. Gaara, after all, was glaring. And Gaara's glares were scarier than Gaara's smiles.

"'kay, jan. Moving out."

His brother grunted and nodded. It was way better than any alternative, but Kankuro was still rather peeved, none-the-less. He never had really ever liked being ordered around by a child. But Butler put together two rucksacks and they headed off regardless.

"Excuse me. Can we stop? I have a stone in my shoe."

"Can we take a break now?"

"Can you slow down a bit?"

"How much further again?"

"I... Butler... I... Butler... Butler, please... please carry this rucksack... for me... p-please... I... I... it's too heavy!"

"WAIT! WAIT FOR ME!"

"So... we... we can't wash until... when, exactly?"

"What are the ration bars made of? Because I think it would be more sustaining if one of us *cough* Butler *cough* went and found... alternative resources."

"Your puppets are tied to your back? For days on end... and they weigh how much, exactly? Do you have any idea what damage you could be doing to your deltoids?"

"Gaara, wasn't it? Bruised eyes. Hm... definitely severe insomnia due to traumatic experience. You should get more slee-"

That was when Kankuro decided he wasn't really bothered about a little extra weight. Kuroari snapped shut and, despite the banging, it was, on the whole, a relief to the ears of the whole party. And Gaara was appeased. That was something.

They continued in silence.

"LET ME-"

"Shut up."

Well, relative silence.