Castiel froze as they walked down the street, a vestige of black and grey monochrome, painted by the typical rainy night, illuminated in splotches of feeble yellow streetlights and the glare of car headlights. So many things could hide in the grimy shadows. The road was quiet, and nearly devoid of people, save a couple meandering down the street.
Castiel wandered off he saw a strange shape down another road. "What is it?" Dean asked nudging him on the shoulder.
"Be quiet." Castiel demanded."I think something following us. Someone watching Sherlock may know who we are." Sam stumbled after him first, preparing his knife. "Angel or demon?"
"I don't know." He didn't break stride as he crossed the road, Sam and Dean close behind following.
"I can see you." Castiel said evenly. He knelt down to examine the unconscious man, slightly overweight and the silver light showing a bead of drool, before looking into the dark shadows under the bridge a few feet ahead of him. "I am fully aware, Castiel." An ambient voice said, neither sounding male or female. Dean could just about make out their height. Whoever it was incredibly short.
"How many of you?" Castiel growled, stepping ahead of the Winchesters instinctively, flicking his Angel's blade into his hand. Sam started at the figure's height although they were obscured by a hood the person couldn't have been more than twelve. The person was so young. The voice of the figure was soft, filled with yearning. "It's good to see you Cas."
"Loren," Cas muttered, before steeling himself. "Even if it's you,I won't let you harm the Winchesters."
Loren stepped closer to him, bridging the gap between them, to which Cas recoiled, pointing his Angel's blade to her chest. Loren swallowed, shaking her head. "I'm not here for them."
"You can't take me back." Castiel growled. "Please leave, I don't want to hurt you Loren."
"I sympathise for you Cas, I understand that you are attached to them, but this can't go on." Loren took down her hood, her eyes beginning to burn with tears. "Look at you Cas, please. Come back."
"I'll be imprisoned."
"Nothing can come of this, I'll talk to them, maybe you could trade Dean for –"
"I will not trade Dean. God isn't here anymore Loren. The angels are running the place."
"But my orders –"
"They're not from God."
"I received orders from Heaven. They're using you!" Loren withdrew her knife, her hands slightly shaking. "I'm sorry Castiel."
Castiel pressed his knife into her fragile chest.
"Dean must say yes, Castiel, don't you understand?" She gushed. Castiel could feel her vessel's heart beating, and her good intentions. She was just another victim of manipulation as he was. "Chuck's seen it. God wants this to happen." She met his eyes, and they brimmed with tears. "Look what this act of rebellion has done to you Castiel. Look at how low and unsightly you've become. You're not angel, not human but something inbetween."
"Why did they send you Loren?"
"Come back with me Cas, please. Dean's going to say yes, anyway; Chuck's seen it. You could join us in paradise. The humans will too."
" Many will die." Castiel swallowed. "Please listen to me, Loren, I don't want to kill you."
She smiled sadly. "It's a shame then, because I have to fight you." She lunged at him with her knife. Castiel, quickly countered, and they paced around each other, their silver blades clashing. Sam and Dean stood to the side, watching the attack; Dean finally truly appreciating all that Castiel had done for him. He could see that Castiel wasn't entirely focused on the fight. Loren managed to twist the knife out of Castiel's hand, dropping it to the floor. Instead of going for the kill, as Castiel expected, she wrestled him, to which he pinned her to the wall, grimacing as with one arm pressing her in place, he went to retrieve his blade. "You didn't even try. I've fought alongside you in battle."
She smiled, her lips cracking. "You're right. That's because I wanted you to win." There were tears in her eyes, streaming down her face. "You were supposed to kill me Castiel."
"Why?" Castiel was stricken.
"Because I know the truth, you're right. There's no God. He's gone." She smiled as tears welled up in her eyes. "He's abandoned us." She looked down at Castiel's arm, pinning her rather than his face. "All my orders from heaven were lies." She whispered.
"You could rebel." Castiel pleaded. "What happened to you wanting me to come with you?"
"It was a bluff. I knew you'd say no," She breathed. "I had to make you want to fight me."
Castiel couldn't bring himself to reply.
"I deserve to die." Her face hardened, as he looked at Cas's pitying face. "Just kill me. Please Cas, for me. I wanted you to be the one to do it. I thought it'd be a form of righteous justice."
"Don't Cas," Dean said suddenly, watching Castiel's face wracked in pain as he held the knife. "She's obviously not thinking straight."
She turned to face Dean, her eyes hollow and dead. "If you'd have said yes, I would've been ignorant to all of this. The angels are in chaos. Humans are dying slowly, and denying what the angels want any longer would result in more collateral damage, more deaths. You can't deny your destiny."
Sam gritted his teeth. "Then why can't you help?! You can help us come up with another way!"
"Look at what you've done, to Castiel, an angel, or to any other pathetic creature that has ever got in the way between you and your brother. You destroy them. I have already… I have watched the universe fore eons and the stars and fire, and I am more powerful than you humans can ever comprehend." She smiled, "this must be hard for you brother," She disappeared out of Castiel's grasp, withdrawing her dropped knife. "You left me Cas, and you can't even give me the death I deserve. What kind of older brother are you?"
Castiel stared at her horrified, as she pointed the knife towards her chest. "Don't do this, Loren."
"You can't stop me Castiel. I'll go after them if you don't let me."
Sam lunged towards her tackling her and trying to prise the knife out of her hand. She clawed at him in response, trying to kick herself away from him. "Your brother didn't leave you. He was trying to save all of the humans that the final battle would cause. God is gone? You can live without him."
Dean's eyes were blurring with tears. He couldn't physically move. He turned away from the scene, picturing Sam…instead of that small crying girl. He was so tired. He forced himself to look away. Looking up he could see Zachariah, through the light rain.
"What's wrong with you?" Dean whispered. "Did you know that this would happen?"
"It's your last chance Dean," He warned. "Before we pull out the big guns. You will say yes."
Dean plunged after him, asking "How did you…?" before Zachariah disappeared from his sight. Looking back at them, Dean saw blood. His stomach sank thinking it was Sam's, it was all over his shirt. But it wasn't. Sam was fine. It was Loren who was dying.
"You healed me." Sam said in bewilderment.
"You had good intentions." She replied breathlessly. "But I deserve this." Blood pooled down her dark hoodie. "Cas," she breathed, as he leaned in towards her, "Cas, I'm sorry, I couldn't rebel." Sam moved so that Castiel could hold her.
"It's okay Loren."
"God's disappointed in us. That's why he left."
Castiel put her down gently as her eyes went glassy. Castiel closed her eyes, turning away from her crumpled body, and the dark shadows of her wings spread out underneath her.
Dean didn't know what to say. His chest felt tight, and for once he felt he had the true respect of what the angel Castiel had truly given for him, and his anger against him, for now wanting to say yes to Zachariah. Sam looked at Dean, and he could almost feel his probing gaze, asking him why didn't he do anything? Normally, it was Dean that rushed in and saved people. But he'd frozen. He saw that Loren girl, and he saw Sammy. He saw sick and twisted Sam, destroying himself.
Castiel's face went blank, and his voice was flat and objective. Totally unlike the pleading, torn voice he'd heard as he begged Loren not to fight, not to kill herself. In a lot of ways Castiel was like Dean. "We should get back." Castiel said, gripping their shoulders. "Sherlock might be in danger if we're here. We can't lose our chances of finding the Doctor."
He transported them, and they stood before a burning building, shell of the apartment that they'd been to only a few short hours before. Castiel was suddenly tackled by a fast moving force, quickly acknowledged to be Sherlock, his eyes bright, and his pupils wide. "It's holy fire Castiel." He pressed a post it note into his hand. "It has the Doctor's phone number. Go, I should be able to hold off the angels." Sherlock gritted his teeth holding a long angel's blade, pointing it towards the all too familiar Zachariah. Police sirens sounded in the distance, and bewildered neighbours were peering cautiously out of windows. Someone screamed. "I told you Dean." Zachariah sighed, shrugging his shoulders as he approached them. But whatever else the angel was about to say was cut off as the winded Castiel recovered. He clutched Sam, Dean and Sherlock to himself and teleported.