Lost in translation
A/N: Alright so a little bit of everything was what you guys wanted – so action/fluff/humor/romance it shall be! Because obviously Clintasha is a mix of all this madness.
Chapter 4
Fury rounded the corner on his way to find his right hand man and probably catch her napping in her office. He froze as he caught sight of something down the nearly empty hall he was about to pass. Oh dear god the drama never ceased.
"Barton…why are you handcuffed to Romanoff?" Fury asked slowly. Clint sighed as Natasha looked anywhere except at her boss. She would have no part in this.
"Because apparently I keep losing her Fury," Clint said honestly. Natasha scowled beside him. Fury raised an eyebrow and glanced at the only Russian spy at SHIELD.
"I see you're playing along for now right?" Fury said in amusement. Natasha shrugged – there wasn't any reason not to humor her partner for the moment. It wasn't like she couldn't get away from him if she actually wanted to. Clint rolled his eyes.
"At least if she is attached to my arm I'll know when she disappears," he said with a shrug. He had lost his dignity a long time ago – probably the 100th time he had to chase after this damn Russian. Now he would stoop to any level to keep her in one place for at least the time being. Fury coughed into his hand.
"...Really? Is that so Barton?" Fury said trying to hold back his laughter. Clint paused as the harsh truth of what just happened started creeping up on him and looked to his left. The handcuffs were hanging with an empty hook where Natasha should have been. He had a painful look on his face.
"Director…can I kill her like I was originally supposed to?" Clint asked slowly but with an air of seriousness that only a desperate man would have. Fury promptly snorted. The bastard was so whipped.
"Nope. You choose to bring her in. Now you're going to have to deal with the consequences…likely for the rest of your life," Fury said with a bit too much glee. That's what you get for disobeying orders!
"It's like being freaking married," Clint muttered as he angrily stalked down the hall. Fury shook his head.
"No Barton – you two are way passed married," Fury said gravely as he watched one of his best agents continue his search to track down his partner once again. "Honestly…that man spends half his time running after villains and the other half running after the same goddamn Russian spy," Fury said gravely. It was pathetic.
Clint sighed in defeat as he slid down a wall beside the SHIELD cafeteria. He gave up! Natasha was just not controllable. He was also being too hard on her – she eventually comes back on her own anyway. He glanced down at his handcuffs to take them off and froze. He stared at the hand attached to the other end in shock. He looked up at the innocent looking Russian sitting beside him sipping a steaming cup of coffee and watching his shock in amusement.
"This is not funny Natasha," Clint said shaking his head in disbelief.
She shrugged and showed him the fresh coffee in her hand. She was thirsty and he was taking too long. He paused. It was too tempting. He utterly failed at self-control.
"I'll forgive you if you give me some of your coffee," Clint said staring at the hot beverage from heaven. He was dying from exhaustion and needed caffeine. Natasha raised an eyebrow and slowly passed him the warm cup. He took a big gulp and sighed in relief. He looked loads calmer.
Ding. Natasha had an idea. If she drugged him on caffeine maybe he would finally calm down and stop freaking out every time she disappeared or took a risk. She took one look and the stress line still firmly set on his forehead even as he seemed calm enough at the moment.
Yeah never mind she wasn't that optimistic.
Suddenly the SHIELD intercom turned on and all the agents paused to hear the base wide announcement.
"AGENT BARTON YOU BETTER FIND YOUR DAMN PARTNER AND GET HER ASS BACK TO MEDICAL BECAUSE THE DOCTORS HAVE TO FINISH HER CHECK UP! IF YOU BOTH ARE NOT THERE IN 3 MINUTES YOU ARE FIRED FOR FRATERNIZATION AND WILL BE BLACKLISTED!" Maria Hill shouted over the SHIELD intercom. Her voice echoed down every single hall in the building.
Everyone walking down the hall raised an eyebrow at the two handcuffed agents being addressed sitting on the floor. Natasha rolled her eyes at the dramatic message while Clint suddenly turned bright red at all the knowing looks everyone was sending them. Oh shit he did not think the handcuffs idea through properly. Natasha glance at her mortified partner and shook her head. She picked herself off the ground and dragged him to his feet by their handcuffed hands and pulled him down the hall. Poor agent was traumatized – it was his own damn fault though so she didn't feel that bad.
"This was one of my less brilliant ideas…" Clint mumbled staring at their handcuffed hands. She snorted beside him as they weaved through the many SHIELD halls and made their way towards the Medical bay. No point in getting fired for something as boring as skipping a medical checkup. If Natasha Romanoff was ever going to get fired – it was going to be because of something explosive and damn flashy. That or for inducing the heart attack that will inevitably kill Clint Barton. The second option way more likely that she would like.
A stone faced doctor was standing in front of Medical the second Natasha and Clint rounded the corner. Natasha groaned. It was Doctor Johansson. Oh shit she was going to get it now.
"Romanoff," Johansson said dangerously. Natasha glared daggers at her SHIELD assigned doctor. 7 years they've know each other – and they still hated each other's guts. Clint glanced back and forth between the glaring agents.
"You know girls…I'm still here," Clint said warily from behind Natasha. The staring contest continued without any acknowledgement to the disregarded archer.
"Every time Romanoff – every single god damn time you come into my medical bay you cause a riot – mostly because of your hotheaded partner and the rest of your damn insane team. But you are no less destructive yourself," Johansson said narrowing her eyes. Clint gaped – he was so insulted.
"Hey that is just-" he instantly had two pairs of equally threatening eyes drilling into him. He gulped.
"Sorry. Carry on," he muttered looking away. He never understood SHIELD woman and their tendency to always be at each other's throats but when a man came along they always joined forces to beat the shit out of him. Johansson paused and finally noticed the metal joining the two partners together. Oh my god.
"Do I even want to know about the handcuffs…?" she asked in disgust. Natasha and Clint both went bright red.
"Neh….." was the only response she got. Doctor Johansson shook her head and pointed them into an examination room. Kinky bastards.
"Whatever. Both of you sit down over there while I get set up," she mumbled as she closed the door behind her and pulled out her notes and her examination tools. Natasha took a seat on the medical bed and Clint quietly sat down beside her. No one in the room pointed out the fact the handcuffs were more novelty than anything else. It was honestly a joke.
"Where did you go Tasha?" he asked quietly staring at their hands.
She paused as she tried to figure out how she was going to explain that one to him. She pulled up her hands and made little devil ears over her head. She then made a really blank face and pretended to type on a tablet. And then finally she put her left hand on her hip and shook her finger in front of her like she was scolding someone.
Clint burst out laughing and nearly dragged them both to the ground because of the handcuffs. She smiled warily at his laughter. It was nice to see him loosen up a bit. He was always too serious when things go really wrong. Usually it was his job to make her lighten up. She never thought she would have to do the same for him.
Doctor Johansson turned around and stared at the most peculiar pair of agents she has ever met.
"Oh my god that was the best impersonation of Maria Hill I ever saw," Clint gasped leaning on his knees. Natasha rolled her eyes. He was having too much fun.
"I'm going to guess that you already figured out your general diagnostic Romanoff. Hill called. She probably told you about your non contagious status," Doctor Johansson said taking out a small flashlight and walking up to Natasha. Clint sighed in relief beside her. No one wanted to find out her voice loss was connected to an even bigger problem.
"May I?" Johansson asked holding up the flashlight. Natasha nodded warily. She flashed the bright light in her right eye.
"Follow the light with your eyes," she instructed. Natasha snorted at the stupid test but for once obeyed the simple command. Doctor Johansson nodded and put the light down before walking Natasha through a few more tests.
"Alright you two – I need her to stand on a weight…and unless you've somehow got hit with a merging mutation gun you got to remove the cuffs," Johansson said warily. Clint grumbled about how it wasn't going to work anyway and pulled a key out of his pocket. Natasha stared at the key in disbelief- the sneak didn't throw it out the window at all! The bastard. He unlocked the cuffs and let Natasha stand on the weight while the Doc continued her tests.
"You know we're working on figuring out why your vocal cords are not working – but as of right now we are not coming up with any possible causes," Johansson said as she gestured for Natasha to sit back down beside her partner. Natasha nodded slowly.
"What does that mean for her right now?" Clint asked carefully. Johansson pulled up her notes and sighed.
"Well aside from this little problem she is going to be completely fine – as usual. But we need her to come in a couple more times to continue testing. Other than that you're going to be discharged today Romanoff. Bet that made your day didn't it?" Johansson said warily. Natasha scowled at her doctor. However the relief in her eyes was impossible to hide.
"So…can we go home now?" Clint asked slowly. He didn't really know if her diagnostic was a good thing or a very bad sign.
"Yeah, you can go home – but please do us all a favor. Take Stark with you," she said gravely. They all froze as they heard a gigantic crash from down the hall.
"I WILL ESCAPE THIS PRISON IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they heard a familiar voice scream right on cue. Doctor Johansson groaned and covered her face with her notes.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"NOOO I'VE BEEN HIT-ALKSJDFALSKFJDSAFLKSJF!" Tony groaned. They watched him crash to the floor through the window as the sedative took effect. Natasha and Clint glanced at each other.
"It's a sad day when we're the ones who take that home isn't it?" he said with a wince. Natasha nodded grimly. Sad indeed.
20 minutes later.
Steve Rogers stood in front of the SHIELD base entrance as he leaned against his car and raised an eyebrow as he watched two SHIELD agents drag an unconscious genius out the door.
"They released him from Medical – after drugging him?" he asked warily. Clint rolled his eyes.
"They shot him with a sedative when he tried to escape. If the bastard had just kept it together for another 10 minutes he would have been able to walk himself out the door instead of us doing the labor," he muttered as Steve swiftly opened the back door and helped them dump the limp body into the car.
"I feel like a mobster kidnapping a high profile billionaire," Steve said shaking his head. Natasha snorted. At least if they were kidnapping him they'd get some good money out of it. This? This was just plain sad.
"You don't have the face or the personality to be a mobster Steve," Clint said as he reached over the backseat to belt the genius into the car. Steve scoffed.
"What and you do?" he asked in disbelief. Natasha and Clint gave the Cap a long look. Clint Barton oozed badassness. He was a professional assassin for crying out loud. Once upon he was on the wrong side himself. He didn't like to broadcast that little detail though. Steve paused.
"Forget I asked," he said with a sigh. His team was made up of crazies. Honest to god insane people. He turned to the silent Russian standing beside him.
"Hey Natasha," Steve said giving her a slight nod. She nodded back.
"Everything okay except for…ah the no talking thing?" he asked awkwardly. She sighed and nodded again – there was really not much else to say.
"Ask her how many times she pulled her own damn stitches today," Clint called over his shoulder as he clicked the belt into place. Steve raised an eyebrow as Natasha suddenly looked very guilty.
"More than once?" he asked in shock. She coughed into her hand and held up 2 fingers.
"Really Natasha – you're worse than Stark sometimes…" Steve said warily. Natasha's mouth hit the floor.
"I know, I said - but it takes him at least one day to pull his own stitches. You did it twice in less than 8 hours. Bravo. Now get in the car," he said pointing to the open door. She stared at him for a full 5 seconds and twitched. She huffed before she promptly spun around and stalked down the street. Clint poked his head out of the car and stared after her in shock.
"Where the hell is she going?" Clint asked in disbelief. Steve paused – okay maybe he should not have compared the volatile Russian to Tony Stark of all people.
"Ah…probably walking home?" he said warily.
"How far is Avengers Tower from here anyway?" Clint asked incredulously. Steve furrowed his brow as he tried to remember how long it took him to make his way to the tower after his car broke down one day.
"Ah…40 minute walk?" Steve said hesitantly. Clint froze.
"Oh hell no – NATASHA GET BACK HERE!" Clint shouted as he ran after his pissed partner. Steve glanced back at the unconscious Stark in his car.
"Not a kidnapping mobster eh…?" he said with a weird look in his eyes. Oh dear god no.
45 minutes later.
"You're killing me Natasha," Clint groaned as he dragged himself into the tower. His legs burned like hell – he still had really bad burns running up and down his limbs from the mission. Natasha shot him an irritated look. She didn't tell him to follow her – he could have taken the car if he wanted to. Clint sighed in relief as they walked into the building – his dramatics were over. He wanted to freaking sleep in his own bed now.
They slowly made their way into the elevator and Clint pressed the number for the Avengers floor. They walked out and glanced around.
"Did you see where Steve and Tony went?" he asked slowly as they made their way into the empty Avengers common room. She slowly shook her head. They should have been here half an hour ago.
Natasha paused as she heard a barely audible sobbing come from behind them. She slowly tugged on Clint's sleeve and pointed to the closed door at the end of the hall. They shared a suspicious look as they slowly approached the door. Natasha took out her gun and for once Clint did the same. Clint quietly counted to three while locking eyes with his partner.
They burst into the room, ready for any type of situation imaginable – except the one they were faced with. They both nearly dropped their guns in shock.
Bruce Banner and Steve Rogers were sitting in front of a table with a laptop on it and laughing until tears came out of their eyes. They had matching headphones on their heads and barely noticed Clint and Natasha's arrival.
"Bruce…what on earth are you two doing?" Clint asked slowly. Bruce was still laughing like crazy but managed to look up from his computer and took the large headphones off his head.
"Interrogation," he gasped. Natasha sighed and dropped her hand with the gun in it. Oh dear god they were being idiots.
"Interrogating what?" Clint asked cautiously. They slowly looked at the one way glass window separating them and another room where a masked Thor was threatening a poorly disguised Tony Stark. All he had was a horrible black wig attached to his head and was dressed in a store bought ninja costume.
"HOW DARE YOU KIDNAP TONY STARK?" Thor's voice boomed across the glass. Natasha and Clint both stared at the insanity in shock.
"I AM TONY STARK!" Tony shouted for the hundredth time.
"DO NOT LIE TO ME UNKNOWN MAN!" Thor roared angrily. Thor by nature did not partake in dishonorable pranks…however Clint had the feeling he didn't quite know who he was interrogating. Steve and Bruce continued to sob tears of laughter uncontrollably. Natasha repeatedly banged her head against the wall beside her. Clint patted her on the back – they were surrounded by insanity.
"It's alright Natasha – you don't have to watch," Clint said as he fought back his own laughter. This was obviously revenge for all those times when Tony pissed the entire team off and played horrible jokes on them.
Pay back was sweet.
"Are we going to break for lunch?" Steve asked Bruce still dying on the table. Bruce wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Do we let them know the truth?" Bruce asked calming down. Natasha turned around and stared at the most unlikely pair of pranksters that ever lived.
Tony Stark had broken the Avengers.
"Sure – get ready to run," Steve said as he pressed and button on the computer and brought a small mike close to his mouth.
"Thor…that is Tony Stark," he said with a straight face – they didn't know how he did. Everyone froze.
"Run," Bruce whispered. The Cap and the doctor both bolted out the door.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Thor and Tony shouted at the same time. Natasha and Clint paled at they stood beside the incriminating evidence. Natasha promptly grabbed Clint by his collar and dragged him out the door. The man had to learn what battles to fight and which to run away from.
Hawkeye and the Black Widow were back home and it was already madness.
Later that evening after Thor and Tony threatened Steve and Bruce within an inch of their lives 5 Avengers sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out what to do about their current team problem.
"The doctors are saying they don't know what's wrong," Clint said cautiously. Bruce furrowed his brow as they mulled over what they were going to do.
"If they don't even have a clue yet why did they release her? Usually you monitor a problem like this for a few days," Bruce said in confusion. Tony and Clint shared a wary look.
"Bruce…SHIELD can only handle Natasha Romanoff in their Medical bay for only so long. 12 hours was already pushing it," Tony said gravely. Bruce rolled his eyes.
"Fine – so they prematurely kicked her out. That doesn't mean we can just sit back and do nothing right now," Bruce said firmly. They all nodded.
"I think the only thing we have to worry about is how we're going to be able to understand her – especially during missions," Clint said with a wince. That was going to be a pain to get around.
"Is she still allowed on missions?" Thor asked slowly. Clint gave him a sharp look.
"Why wouldn't she be?" he asked tightly.
"It's not us Clint – it's SHIELD who controls stuff like that," Steve said cautiously. Clint sighed and slumped into his chair.
"I don't know. Anything can happen at the moment," he said staring at the wall beside him.
"Where is Natasha anyway?" Bruce asked glancing around. Clint sighed and leaned his forehead against the kitchen table.
"In her room," he mumbled into his arms. They all shared a wary look over his head.
"Why is she in her room? It's only...ONE AM? What the heck?" Tony shouted as he stared at his watching accusingly. They all stared at the kitchen clock - he was right. It was late.
"I say we regroup tomorrow at a saner hour and figure things out from there," Steve said looking around at the suddenly very tired looking Avengers.
"Agreed," they all said together.
"Good night fellow comrades," Thor said with a nod before he headed out of the kitchen.
"Right so…. bye guys!" Tony said standing up and bolting out the door himself. Bruce and Steve shared a wary look.
"The man never sleeps," Bruce muttered shaking his head. Steve looked at the suddenly very quiet archer.
"Are you going to go check on her?" he asked knowingly. Clint nodded and got out of his seat.
"Yeah – see you tomorrow guys," he said as he walked off with an odd look on his face.
"He's more worried than he lets on you know?" Bruce said quietly to the Captain standing beside him.
"Yeah I could tell. Don't let the others treat her any different than normal okay? She doesn't need to feel any more disconnected then she already will," Steve said as they watched the archer round the corner and disappear.
"Don't worry - she's stronger then she looks," Bruce said firmly. Steve nodded.
"I know – but everyone has a breaking point Bruce. What is theirs?" he asked quietly before he turned around and left the doctor standing alone in the dimly lit kitchen.
"I hope we don't find out," Bruce whispered to himself.
Meanwhile Clint was standing in front of Natasha's closed door debating on whether she was awake or not. He didn't want to wake her up if she was sleeping – she barely sleeps anyway. Then he really thought about – like hell she was sleeping while the rest of them were still awake. He took a deep breath and knocked.
BANG!
He heard a large object make contact with the other side of the door. He raised an eyebrow and slowly pushed the door open …that was one way to answer a knock.
"Natasha, I'm heading to bed do you need anything?" Clint called out as he walked into her dark room. Natasha shook her head as she lay on her bed and stared up at her blank ceiling. Clint sighed – she was still wearing her black widow uniform. The girl was going to kill herself one day from not taking care of herself.
"You should change and get some sleep Natasha. 3 hours is not enough to recover from this mission," he said quietly. She shrugged – she would do it eventually. He shook his head and took a seat beside her on her bed.
"You know worrying is my job Tasha. You shouldn't be adding to the stressed situation," he said carefully. Natasha promptly took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to him. He furrowed his brow as he opened the note and read it.
'Not worrying. I'm thinking. Just can't talk remember?' The note said clearly answering his question. He paused as he reread the prewritten note. Holy shit was he really that predictable that she already wrote out her response before he even walked in here and said anything?
"You totally saw that coming didn't you?" he asked warily. She nodded and lightly patted him on the back as she continued to stare up at the ceiling. Well there goes his pride. Non-existent as it was. You can't really have a pride when you're partners with a girl like Natasha Romanoff.
Natasha suddenly pushed herself into a sitting position and gave him an intense searching look.
"What?" he asked in confusion. She continued to stare at him for a couple seconds before she reached over to her desk and pulled open her drawer.
She took out her little notepad and scribbled something onto it. He watched her stare at her writing with an odd look on her face. She was debating something. He waited quietly for her to decide what she wanted to do. He would never rush her - pushing Natasha Romanoff around was not a smart thing to do. Either she would kick your ass and shove back...or she would kick your ass and then run away. Both possibilities were equally undesirable. So he waited. After a few moments of contemplative silence she finally passed it to him. He took the notepad slowly and glanced down.
'Do you trust me?' was written shakily across the page. His eyes softened.
He slowly nodded his head – there was no reason why he should not.
Natasha slowly reached over and gently closed his eyes with the tips of her fingers. He took a shaky breath as he felt her move around in front of him. He didn't know what she was going to do – but that was why she told him to trust her right? He didn't need to see to know that Natasha would never betray him. She had so many chances to leave him in the past – but she always stood by his side in the end. She was always running around getting into trouble– but she also always came back in the end. She suddenly crouched down beside him and held a cool metal object to his ear. He felt her rest her other hand on his chest as they listened to a familiar beep.
"BEEP. Clint? – It's Natasha… You know how I told you I was going to be late right? BOOM! Ah… hold on one second. HEY STARK KEEP THE BASTARDS ON THE OTHER SIDE FOR SECOND! I AM ON THE PHONE DAMN IT! Sorry for skipping out on you – I'll be back soon alright? Don't worry too much – you'll get grey hairs or something equally unattractive. I-I'm fine okay? I'll see you later," the message ended with another beep but Natasha and Clint continued to stay silent while resting on their knees.
Clint had nearly stopped breathing right then and there. He has been by her side ever since he found her in SHIELD medical but hasn't heard her voice in over 24 hours. He didn't realized how much he would miss her death threats until he no longer heard them anymore. Natasha silently felt his heart rate spike as she slowly brushed her hand through his messy dark hair. He was the rough around the edges type of man but even his hair was soft and smooth. His breathing rate suddenly changed and became slight uneven. There he goes freaking out again she thought silently. Clint took another shaky breath with his eyes still closed as he slowly raised his hand to her chest and felt her heart beating just as fast and erratically as his own. So he wasn't the only one falling. Thank god.
"I miss you Natasha," he whispered softly as he slowly opened his eyes and stared back at her green ones that had a fiery determination swirling in them. She was going to get her voice back if it was the last thing she did.
If for no other reason that the fact that there was something important she never had the guts to tell him before.
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A/N: This will probably be my last update until the end of exams. Please let me know if you would like me to continue when I come back at the end of January! Thank you for reading Lost in Translation.
Let's all hope Natasha and Clint will make it through in the end.
- Shadowsontherun
P.S. Vote on my poll on my profile if you want this story to be the one I update during exams. I'm only going to update one story.