a/n: This is the final chapter, so I hope you enjoy it! You have all been amazing reviewers/followers and I have been really encouraged by all of the positive feedback. THANKS!
This story was grounded in the idea that Toby and Spencer had a lot of emotional baggage to overcome that they wouldn't be able to get through in one conversation. I feel (and hope you agree) that I have fully explored that idea, so it's time to let them go. Thanks again for reading! Let me know what you think, and feel free to PM me with other prompts!
Just give me a reason,
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second, we're not broken
Just bent and we can learn to love again.
The prancing flames beckoned to Spencer, the flurry of red and orange reflecting in her eyes. The scorching scent of black acrid smoke filled her nostrils, blurring her judgment. The mist, the plane, the smoldering lodge…their plan crumbling faster than the wooden structure; the seemingly supernatural flash of red, blonde curls spilling from beneath the mysterious hood—it all played like a silent film before Spencer.
A hand gripped her shoulder. She recoiled, her breath catching.
"Spence? I just said your name at least three times. Didn't you hear me?" Toby's pinched expression effectively chastised her.
"I—I'm sorry…I guess I was just lost in thought." She shook her head as if trying to clear it.
"Mesmerized was more like it. You were really freaking me out. Now I was asking if you wanted marshmallows in yours or not. So what will it be?"
Spencer smiled, her hand coming up to rest on top of his. "Yes, please. I really could have handled it, you know? You already built the fire."
Toby returned her smile. "Your lips were a frightening shade of blue! I couldn't risk you going into shock, okay? Now stay put and I'll be right back."
"Yes, sir," she called sarcastically.
Spencer huddled further into the fleece blanket that he had thrown over her after their little adventure. The heat from the fireplace seeped into her skin, steadily warming her. Toby reappeared, pressing a mug of steaming hot chocolate into her hand. He settled next to her on the floor and took a sip of his own drink. She reached for his hand reflexively, squeezing it with fondness.
"Thanks, love," she purred as her lips found the rim of her mug. He just squeezed her hand back, not needing words to say what she already knew.
A soft crackling from the hearth filled the room as they drank slowly. Toby scooted closer and kissed the crown of Spencer's head. She sighed contentedly and let her head drop to his shoulder.
"What were you thinking about a minute ago?" His question was so low that she almost didn't understand it.
"The night at the lodge. Red Coat, the fire, all of it." She closed her eyes, seeing it all again.
"You really think it was Alison, don't you?"
Spencer searched his inquiry for a trace of cynicism, but found none. "I know it doesn't make sense…but, yes, I do. And so does Hanna. Mona too, not that I'm jumping on that bandwagon quite yet."
She paused, waiting for him to say something. Another pop and hiss sounded from the shifting logs. "Do you think I'm crazy, Toby? To even entertain the idea?"
He dropped another kiss to her temple and stroked her hand with his thumb. "No, I don't. With everything we've lived through…I've learned to suspend my disbelief."
Spencer nodded sympathetically, his weary tone matching the feeling deep in her soul. "Sometimes I feel like we're all a hundred years old with the kind of crap we've gone through. We live the same nightmare over and over again. When do we stop burying people? How many more trips do I have to make to the police station, how many more statements do I have to give them? I haven't even graduated from high school and I'm tired. I'm always tired."
There was no vehemence in her words, no anger or spite. That's what scared Toby the most. Spencer Hastings was full of fight, but this girl was…defeated. Finished. He let go of her hand and put his mug down, turning to face her fully.
"I know what you mean, Spencer, I do. But this isn't going to last forever, I promise you that." His hands grasped either side of her face, his blue eyes offering her the world. "You have so much more ahead of you than anonymous text messages and things that go bump in the night. It feels like we're permanently shackled to the Rosewood black hole of secrets and shame, but I'm telling you, we're breaking free of it all. One way or another, this will all be over and I'm not resting until that's our new reality."
A few tears escaped Spencer's big brown eyes, her dark lashes blinking rapidly. "You can't make that promise…"
"Too bad, because I am." The pads of his thumbs swept away the tracks of moisture on her prominent cheekbones. "I love you, Spencer, and this is coming to an end. For good."
"I want to believe you." Her voice wavered. "As much as I hate you being involved in all of this, it's nice to not be alone. I mean, I love Aria and Em and Hanna, but—"
"But you've spent a lot of the last year and half being the backbone of the group."
Spencer's eyes faltered, her attention back on the flames. "We all want the same things, to move on, to sleep better at night, to love someone without living in constant fear of losing them." She exhaled heavily. "So much for 'keep Toby safe.'"
"Honey, no offense, but I haven't been 'safe' in a long time, and that was my choosing." Toby's eyebrow arched as her gaze returned to him.
"Yeah, silly me." She kissed the corner of his mouth, wanting him to know she wasn't upset.
He held her there, moving to properly align their lips. Spencer deepened the kiss, a mix of cocoa, the sea, and something inexpressible. Toby was the one to pull away first, keeping his hands fused to her jaw. "I'll tell you how you can keep me safe, keep us both safe."
"How's that?" she asked, her voice husky.
His eyes were serious. "Keep me in the loop. No more secrets. No more lies. Don't let me fly blind here, Spence. The more I know, the better I can watch my own back while I watch yours. We're leaving tomorrow, but it can be different now. We've got a clean slate, right?"
Spencer took his hands in hers, knitting their fingers together and resting them in her lap. "Right. And same goes for you, okay? No hero antics or suicide missions, Mr. Alpha Male. We work together and tell each other everything from here on out. Even if it hurts."
"And at some point it probably will hurt…but I can't handle another weekend like this, a big tell-all confessional. If we're upfront and honest, no matter what A or anyone else throws at us, we'll be stronger this time." He lifted one set of their conjoined hands to kiss a freckle on her wrist. "Deal?"
"Deal." Her mocha eyes sparkled in the firelight, the burdens of the past thawing under the tangible assurance in his sapphire stare. They sealed it with a kiss, a covenant of their renewed trust. They were standing firm on this love, come what may.
Toby stood, extending his hands to pull Spencer to her feet. He led her to the corner of the sofa and drew her into his lap, stroking her damp hair away from her face and planting affectionate kisses at the base of her neck. She curled against his body, fitting perfectly against him.
This was home and nothing would ever shake that.