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Beta'd by HollettLA.

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"Higher"

Chapter Four: Just Bella

Tonight was turning out amazing, and it was going to stay that way or get better, especially since I had another E pill in my pocket.

At the moment, I'm not Isabella Swan: Ice Cream Scooper, who has a thirty-seven year old kid in Renee.

I was just Bella . . .

And with the exception of maybe Alice and Jasper, Rose and I will probably never see these guys again.

"What's funny?" Edward asked.

"Nothing." I angled my lips to his.

He pulled away. "Maybe I'll kiss you later, pretty girl." He held my cheek. "That cool?"

I grinned. "Kiss me, don't kiss me…" I just didn't want him to stop petting my leg. "Doesn't matter."

Because in this moment, nothing mattered.

All week I've waited for tonight.

While I had no idea what we'd do, I knew I'd be rolling on X, and that all my hang-ups would go flying out the fucking window. Right now, I did feel like a pretty girl, wrapped in Edward's strong arms.

I was pretending to be this adult, but I sure as fuck wasn't acting like one.

But I'm always the adult—when it comes to my mother most times, when it comes to my friends, and just life in general.

And Alice was fine...

Not giving a fuck but giving in—to the euphoric sensation I now felt—was fantastic.

"Talk to me," I sighed, hugging him tighter as the train came to a stop.

"What do you wanna know?" He squeezed my thigh, right under my ass, which made me squirm; my breathing picked up.

"Anything." I moved so that his hand hitched my skirt up a little.

He smiled, tossing his head back. "You're feelin' real good, huh?"

"Yep." My fingers wove into his soft hair, getting two handfuls. In the bright light, I could see that it was a shade of brown with maybe some red. "Roll with me," I whispered.

"I will." He nuzzled his nose to my cheek.

"Keep talking…" Although I was feeling free and suddenly freaky—more turned on than ever before, in my entire life—I was stuck for words and actions.

His lips looked really kissable, and fuck, I wanted him to kiss me. However, I also felt a little relaxed . . .

As long as he kept rubbing my thigh, I thought.

As long as he kept touching me . . .

Then, when the lights dimmed because we were going under the tunnel into Manhattan, his thumb snapped the side of my panties.

I could still see his smile. "I was curious…if you were wearin' drawers."

I giggled, thinking he was cute.

"You ever been to Tunnel before?" he asked.

"A few times," I lied and looked out to Rose and Alice. Whether we go to Limelight or someplace else truly didn't make a difference to us, but… "I thought we were going to Limelight?" We've never tried Alice's ID any place else.

"Fuck that techno garbage." He waved a hand.

"Rose!" I called.

Rose and Dimples turned to me.

"We're going to Tunnel?" I asked, and now my high had come down.

That's the fucked up thing about Ecstasy—the highs and lows. You could be on top of the world, have no inhibitions, but you still have your head. And once something puts a damper on shit, you come down. However, it can take you away again as soon as your anxieties are squashed.

Suddenly more aware, I sat up a bit. "Sorry," I told Edward.

"Yeah, it's cool." Rose shrugged, but when she looked over to Alice, who was still just talking to Jasper, I knew she was concerned, too.

At all those clubs, it's eighteen to party and twenty-one to drink.

The rest of us won't have any problems…

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Nothing," I said.

He hummed, lightly nibbling on my ear, and my clit throbbed which made me stiffen. "You wanna know what I wanna know?" he whispered, his breath hitting my ear.

Breathless myself, I couldn't answer.

Edward chuckled, plopping me down in the seat next to him.

"What—" I started, startled by the movement and the cold seat below me.

He leaned into my ear again to whisper, "You're at least eighteen, right?"

"I'm—"

"Don't bullshit a bullshitta'." He squeezed my knee, his tone light.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm legal…that's all you need to know, right?"

He smiled and licked his lips, turning his body toward me. "Sweetheart…that's all you're gonna gimme?"

I giggled. "Yeah."

"You and the shorty with Jazz look about sixteen at best." He chuckled. "Legs over there…she's good."

"Sixteen?" I laughed. "But you were fine with your paws all on me a second ago…"

"Me on you?" He pointed to himself. "I just caught you when you landed, baby. But be straight with me a second," he was whispering again.

"Relax…I'm twenty. Seriously." I had no other witty retort. "I only said that other crap to mess with you. Guess I'm blessed to look younger."

"Okay." He leaned back, pulling down his pant legs. His jeans were easily five sizes too big; he was dressed like some thug but hot as fuck. Even his stupid words about my age didn't take that away.

I am, in fact, old enough to party, vote, smoke, and fool around with Edward.

"Jazz looks like he's having a good time," he said.

"Are you?" I asked.

"Yeah…" He smirked and then the train came to a stop.

We got off at Canal Street and had to transfer, wait for another train, and that took twenty minutes. The trains aren't as frequent this late at night.

Still, we were paired off, when I really wanted to reconvene with Rose and Alice. Because I highly doubt that Edward will keep his concerns secret. Maybe he won't say anything, maybe he won't care…I was worried, but he might have believed me.

Alice did look insanely happy. And while I wasn't supportive before—'cause of the odd way they came to meet—I was now. Jasper only had eyes for her, and he seemed interested in everything she was saying, and my bestie can talk!

When we boarded the second train, Edward popped a pill into his mouth and took a sip of my water. "Take yours now," he told me. "You'll feel good again by the time we get there."

Only, now I was second-guessing…everything.

"Thought you wanted to roll wit' me?" He quirked a brow. "What? Now I'mma be rollin' by myself?" He massaged my shoulder.

I gave him a small smile, not sure what to say while my stomach knotted up.

"It's just a Mitsubishi." Edward handed me the water.

Sure no one was looking, I grabbed it from my pocket and tossed it back. "Do you plan to share with anyone else?"

He pulled on my hood-string, his nose an inch from mine. "They didn't earn it."

"Earn it?" I whispered.

"That was hot…You like kissing girls?" The hand went back to my thigh.

"I just like kissing, but…" There was no way I could say I hadn't actually kissed a guy in a long time, not when I was acting the way I was—like a silly slut. Yet, I found myself hoping Edward didn't think me a whore. "Rose is my default go-ho."

He chuckled. "All right. That's what's up."

Since I'd gotten my head back and I still had some guts to go on, I turned to him. "Tell me more about you." I was crazy curious, and I loved hearing his voice. It was deep with a rasp and yet low in tone, and I also just liked the way in which he spoke—his words.

His Brooklyn accent is actually stronger than mine. I don't notice mine when I speak, but others do, and Edward's was strong to my ear.

Edward—in nature—seemed hostile, though. There was a definite edge to this guy, which made his two friends look bland in comparison.

"Why? You wanna know me, sweetheart?" He tossed my hair away from my shoulder.

I grinned, slightly shaking my head. "I'm just trying to make conversation." And I wanted to sit on his lap again. Shit wasn't as awkward. "You're from Brooklyn, right?"

"Born and raised." He twisted the cap off the water to gulp some down. My gaze landed on his Adam's apple as it bobbed. Edward was also a man, a real man, nothing like the boys I've hung out with. "I lived down the block from Jazz and Em my whole life…We live in Sunset now, but we grew up in Bensonhurst. You?"

"I'm in Bay Ridge." I was embarrassed, as it's not some hardcore neighborhood like Sunset Park. "It's lame—"

"The bars are cool…" His tone was low as the train came to another stop. "You ready, baby?" We had to transfer again.

I nodded, tucking my hand into his.

By the time we reached the next platform, everything was fuzzy. I was gone, feeling fantastic again, and I wondered if Edward felt the same, while I also craved a cigarette like never before.

"Can we walk the rest?" I shouted to make sure they all heard me.

"Shhh." Edward kissed my cheek and held my waist from behind.

"It's only a few avenues." I leaned back against him to stare up at his face.

"Long avenues," Edward said, his hands spanning my stomach, making me shudder, making those excited butterflies go nuts!

Wanting to bite his chin, I said, "I need a cigarette."

"Of course you do." He let his lips linger on my forehead.

I hummed, closing my eyes, my hands resting on top of his.

"Bella…you okay?" I heard Dimples.

"Perfect," I sighed, inhaling deeply.

Rose grinned before she stole Emmett away . . . again.

When we entered the last train, which was kind of a blur…

Yo, I barely remembered entering the fucking thing. "Whoa…" I laughed. "How'd I get here?" It was fucking hilarious.

"Relax…I got you." Edward pulled me into his side.

"Awww shit." Emmett clapped, and we all turned to see Jasper kissing Alice. My friend—her face blazed red—and I wished she was feeling what I was feeling.

"I love you guys…all of youse!" The happiest I've ever been in my life, I toasted to them with my water bottle, and they needed to know—needed to believe me. "I really love you all. You don't understand—"

Edward laughed. "C'mere, baby." He gathered me into his arms to kiss my cheek again.

Content, I leaned into his lips, humming a cheery tune I couldn't name, and I wondered if he loved me too—if he was rolling yet.

It's okay to love people while on Ecstasy.

"Ed…" Jasper was chuckling, coming over with Alice. "Hook me up with two."

Alice stared at me, uneasy.

"It's okay." I mouthed, waving a hand.

It was okay since I'd already taken one, and I'm still alive and more than well. But it brought me down a notch. Her reluctance…her uneasiness, kind of snapped me back into reality.

How is Alice acting more mature than me?

She was all right; Jasper's a nice guy, but I wasn't doing my best to look out for her—like I swore I would. "Don't do it if you…don't wanna," I told her, not caring who was listening.

"Of course…you don't have to. I never do it, but I thought we could." Jasper nodded, gesturing between Alice and himself. "I thought you might wanna since your friend's..." He waved to me.

"It's cool." Alice smiled.

"You're gonna pay me back for these, right? Demetri doesn't like it when loads are light." Edward glanced around and placed two pills into Jasper's palm.

When they left for their seats again, all my attention went back to Edward—my new best friend who had Ecstasy in his pocket. "Are you a drug dealer?"

He barked out a laugh. "Nah…I'm just doing a favor for a friend."

I pursed my lips, still giddy. "I work at Carvel," I whispered.

"I love ice cream." He pulled my leg over both of his. "This cool?"

"Fuck, yeah…" I hoped he'd rub my thigh again. "How old are you?"

His finger left a trail of goose bumps from my ankle to my knee. "Twenty-three . . . I'll be twenty-four in two weeks." He paused. "I work with my father…He owns a HVAC company. I'm a technician; it's summer, and we're busy . . . and I do what I do otherwise. I also share an apartment with those two." He jerked his chin.

"Nothing wrong with that." I slouched lower, hoping his hand would go higher.

"So, you comfortable chillin' wit' me? You know me yet?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I asked.

He chuckled, and by the gleam in his eyes, I hoped he was feeling nice, too. "Would it bother you if I did?"

I didn't even have to think about it. "No…" I was honest, and I wanted this man to kiss me badly. Maybe tomorrow I'd care, but I needed his lips tonight.

"I don't," he said.

I inched closer to those lips, easing my way back onto his lap. "Hi…" My nose touched his, and my face was going to hurt tomorrow with how much I was smiling tonight.

He pushed my hair away from my face. "You're beautiful…You don't give a fuck; I like that." He pulled my chin closer when we came to another stop. Not deterred, I nipped his soft, pouty lips, hoping he'd deepen the kiss, while I moved to straddle him.

Edward's hands snuck under my skirt, kneading my ass, keeping me there.

The contact made me tingle from head to toe, and I wanted to fuck him right here on this train.

"Yo…this is us," Emmett boomed, grasping my bicep to pull me up, away, and to my feet.

"Whoo…" I had sea legs, as my gaze never left Edward.

He stared right back before he pulled me into his side again. "Stay with me." Edward placed a kiss into my neck. "You're mine." He actually stared at his cousin when he said that, though.

I giggled, the lights overhead so bright as we left the station. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good."

Both of my hands grasped one of his, and I got so excited, I did the running man for about five seconds. "And we're here!"

"You're mad fuckin' cute, yo." He smiled at me, caressing the side of my face with the back of his hand.

"You're mad fuckin' hot, bro." I covered my mouth with my hand.

That was too much for me to…oh, who cares.

I was amped. Too fucking excited.

Edward winked, pulling me close.

Thank you for reading.

Please leave me your thoughts.

E or X — short for Ecstasy

Roll — when Bella asks Edward to "Roll" with her, she meant take Ecstasy with her.

Be straight — tell the truth.

Mitsubishi — brand of Ecstasy

Go-Ho — someone who kisses a lot. When Bella says Rose is her default go-ho, she means that she usually just kisses Rose.

Mad — a lot/very