AN: And here we have the chapter where things that have been building and being foreshadowed for a fair bit finally start paying off.
...We also have the chapter most effected by how I have to use an underline in place of a strike-through on here.
Anyways, hope you enjoy and I'll see you all at the bottom.
Chapter 8: The Talk
To say that the last 10 or so minutes had been extremely uncomfortable would be an understatement.
As the group of humans and frogs sat around the table in the War Room, Marcy explained what had really happened. That she had left to try out her time travel experiments, that she brought Sasha to the future in hopes that she would change and stop the Toad rebellion when she went back to her own time, and how the various adventures that she and "Sally" had on the road to Wartwood were actually adventures that she had with Sasha.
Sasha sat next to her as she explained the story, but she was only barely paying attention to what she was saying. Like before, when Marcy had been giving the false version of the story, Sasha was far more focused on the opposite side of the table from her. The three Frogs all had unhappy expressions on their faces as Marcy spoke, and often butted in with different questions or objections to her plan of brining Sasha to the future. None of them were happy about that plan at all. She'd say it seemed like they thought that having one Sasha around was already one too many…expect the Best Friend Stealer explicitly said that while Marcy was telling the story, so there was nothing seeming about it.
However, the resentment of the three frogs was not what Sasha cared about or what kept her focus from Marcy's recap of the last few days.
What managed to steal her focus, was the exact same thing that had stolen her focus before when Marcy was telling the false version of the story; Anne Boonchuy. Whereas the frogs kept shooting glares in her direction every chance they got, Anne hadn't looked at her once since Marcy began telling the real story. She just kept staring forward, directly at Marcy, with a cold and serious expression on her face. An expression that just didn't seem like it belonged on the face of someone like Anne. Just how little attention Anne seemed to be paying to Sasha may have actually been more unnerving than the look of anger she had when Sasha's hood fell down just a few minutes prior.
Perhaps even worse than that though, was her silence. Unlike the frogs, Anne didn't say anything as Marcy told the story. No questions, no objections to the plan, nothing. Anne was hardly a loud mouth, but she was very far from being quiet. Seeing her this silent…it wasn't something Sasha ever saw before. It came close to actually scaring her.
"…And then we'd hoped that with her helping the resistance out as Sally that you guys would be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt when she revealed who she really was. And then, well, you guys were there for the rest" Marcy said as she came to the conclusion of her story.
It was of course the squeaky toy that spoke up first when the Marcy finished.
"Seriously? You thought her helping out a bit would be enough for us to trust her?"
"I mean, I knew that there were going to be some obstacles to you guys trusting her even after helping out." Marcy responded.
"Gee, you think." Sprig said sarcastically as he raised his left leg and pointed to the prosthetic foot at the end of it.
"Besides all of the stuff like that that she's done," Polly said, briefly pointing to Sprig's foot as well "what if she's actually working for the future Sasha to undermine us?"
"How would that even work, she pretty much hasn't been out of my sight since I brought her here?" Marcy asked, baffled.
Polly simply rolled her eyes.
"Obviously it would be a case of a version of her from even further in the future who managed to get your time travel stuff sending messages back to this Sasha with instructions on how to undermine us when you bring her here." Polly answered smugly.
"I mean, that's a bit of a complicated plan." Marcy replied.
"Yes, but so's tricking an entire town to a banquet at a tower just to try and kill one Frog, and she's certainly done that." Hop Pop countered.
This was more or less typical of how things had gone any time the frogs interrupted Marcy's story, some mention of the horrible things the Queen had done and then mentioning some convoluted scheme that Sasha could be up to. Sure, technically they were correct in that Sasha wasn't actually planning to stop the Toad rebellion when she got back to her proper time, but some of the things they came up with to accuse her of were pretty out there.
"Look," Marcy said, trying once again to get the Frogs to even consider her plan "I know that Sasha has done a lot to you guys, both before and after the rebellion, but I really think that her getting a preview of everything that's happened this past year has changed her."
"Oh yeah sure Marcy, I'm sure that's exactly what's happened, and that it's not just another trick like the last time she said she'd changed." The best friend stealer said in the most sarcastic voice he could muster while rolling his eyes. "She's probably just doing this so you'd let her in here so she could, I don't know, try to kill you and Anne or something."
Sasha's eye twitched.
While she knew very well that sometimes her actions could hurt Marcy or Anne, those were only ever some side effects of something meant to benefit them in the end. The idea that she would intentionally try to hurt, let alone kill, either of them was utterly insulting to the blonde.
"You know, maybe instead of jumping to conclusions about me, you could actually bother hearing Marcy out."
It was the first thing that Sasha had said all conversation, and while the Frogs and Marcy were taken aback a little, the little pink squeaky toy was still very quick to snap back at her.
"We aren't hearing her out because trusting you is a stupid plan!"
"Well then that makes it perfect for you." Sasha said back.
"How are we the stupid ones when you're the one trying to get everyone to think someone in the middle of planning to use us as part of a coup can be trusted!" Sprig said back.
"Guys, maybe we should all calm down." Marcy tried to say.
"You guys are the stupid ones because you'd have to be dumb to think I wanted the world to turn out like this!" Sasha said, ignoring Marcy's pleas.
"You're the one who made the world like this in the first place!" Polly interjected.
"Seriously guys, can we please stop this." Marcy pleaded.
"Well, if you idiots gave me the time of day, I could actually explain things so you'd understand." Sasha said to the Frogs.
"Now that's enough, I'm not going to let you keep calling my grandkids stupid!" Hop Pop said.
"I'll stop calling them stupid when they stop being stupid and actually listen to me and Marcy about this!"
"We're not going to because the last time we listened to you about something like this, you betrayed us!" Sprig yelled.
"Guys!"
That shout was the first thing that Anne had said since Marcy began her story. Everyone went silent and turned to look at her and that serious and cold expression she had that shouldn't belong on her face.
"I think it would be best if I continued this conversation with Marcy and Sasha alone."
The best friend stealer, of course, immediately objected to that.
"But Anne-"
He couldn't finish his sentence before Hop Pop put a hand over his mouth.
"Sprig, quiet down for a second." The older Frog then turned to Anne. "Are you sure about this?"
The cold expression on Anne's face suddenly gave way to a warm smile as she looked at the orang frog.
"I am HP. There's some stuff I need to say and I think it would be best if it was just the three of us"
"Then we'll leave you three alone." Hop Pop said as dragged both of his grandkids to the exit.
Polly had a frustrated expression on her face, but the squeaky toy simply shot Anne a concerned glance, which was again answered by a warm smile from Anne.
"Hey it's OK Sprig, I can totally handle Sasha. There's no need to worry."
The pink Frog's expression changed to a small smile.
"Alright, if you say so Anne."
As the Frog's finally left the Room, Anne turned her attention back to Sasha and Marcy. All the warmth that had been in her face when talking to the Frogs disappeared as she looked at the two girls, her face once again taking on the serious expression.
Despite now once again facing that same expression that had unnerved her enough to make her hold her tongue, Sasha was actually happy about this situation. With the Frogs around, there would have been absolutely no room for her or Marcy to get a word in edgewise about why Anne should trust her.
Not without it turning into a bunch of petty arguing anyways. Being around that stupid best friend stealer just brings out the worst in me.
With them gone, however, Sasha finally saw her chance to make some headway here with Anne.
"Well, I guess we've got a lot to talk about…" Sasha said, hoping that she came across more put together than she actually felt at the moment.
"Not yet." Anne said rather quickly before turning to Marcy. "First, I need to talk to my Co-Commander about ditching us to go do some dumb time travel experiments!"
Anne's tone actually made Sasha relieved that she wanted to talk about something other than her at the moment. Marcy, by contrast, looked a lot more concerned about that fact.
"I mean, we kind of already-"
"No, we didn't Marcy. What we talked about was a totally different plan that was frankly way more reasonable." Anne's glare was fixed on the Taiwanese girl as she continued to dress her down. "I cannot believe that you not only abandoned your duties to do this, but that you wouldn't even consult me about it!"
"T-technically I did talk to you about it before-"
"You talked with me about the time travel tech and some of the ideas you had for it," Anne said interrupting Marcy "and every time we talked, I told you that not only would it mean that you'd need to be away from the base for way too long to try and figure out something that might be impossible, but that even if making a time machine were possible, the risks of making it were way too big with Sasha trying to capture you."
"I-I know but-"
"And then," Anne continued, not letting Marcy get in anything for her defence. "You not only ran off to do this anyways without even letting me know that you were going to do it whether I agreed or not, but you didn't even leave a note or any sort of message for us to explain where you even went! We had to tell everyone that you were away on some sort of secret mission because they all would have panicked if they found out that you had disappeared on us! We didn't even know if you were alive or dead Marcy!"
Sasha didn't think she'd ever seen such a guilty look on Marcy's face.
"…I'm sorry Anne." The girl finally said.
The Thai girl let out a short sigh.
"I know, and I'm sorry for being harsh with you." Anne said, the edge in her voice now softened. "We were just so worried about you, and then when I found out what you had actually left to go do and that you had lied to us with that first story…I'm sorry if I was harsher than I needed to be but you do need to understand that this was not acceptable."
"I do. I swear that I won't do anything like this again." Marcy said looking a bit less forlorn now that Anne seemed to be letting up a bit.
"Good. I am really happy to have you back Marcy." Anne said, giving the girl a small smile, one which Marcy returned.
Those smiles disappeared as soon as Anne turned left and leveled her gaze at Sasha, Marcy looking more concerned for the blond, while Anne…well if looks could kill, Sasha would be dead several times over from the glare that Anne sent her way.
OK, she was pretty angry at Marcy but they dealt with that pretty quickly. Maybe it will be the same with us?
There were a thousand different ways that Sasha could think of to start this conversation, a thousand different ways to make sure that it was on her terms and that she was in control of it. But before she could even attempt to say any of them, Anne took the initiative away from her.
"Why are you here?" the Thai girl asked.
It was a simple question on the surface, but there was a lot underneath that surface. Sasha, however, chose to press on and act as though there was only the surface, hoping that she might be able to get somewhere by playing a bit more innocent and naive.
"Marcy already told you." She answered "I'm here to try to help you guys."
"I don't believe you." Anne said, putting the words that lied below the surface of her previous question out in the open.
"Anne, I know that this might be hard to believe but I really do want to help you." Sasha said.
"So, you want me to believe that you aren't just trying to use this as a chance to go back to your time, and make sure that your rebellion goes better the second time around?"
Sasha was caught off guard that Anne figured out what she was doing immediately. She figured that even if Anne had some suspicions about her, she wouldn't have just straight up guessed what Sasha was actually planning. Even the Frogs hadn't quite gotten that with the different schemes they had been accusing her of.
Still, she had enough self control to keep her surprise from showing on her face. Instead, she tried to look hurt, and admittedly it did hurt at how little Anne trusted her. Even if she was correct about what Sasha was planning.
"Anne, I know I've done some messed up stuff in the past but-"
"Stop it, Sasha." Anne said, her tone indicating that she was much more fed up with the blonde than Sasha had realised.
"But, Anne I-"
"No Sasha, I've heard all of this already. Back at the third temple, you acted like you were apologising, as much of an apology as you're ever willing to give anyways, for Toad Tower and the stuff from before Amphibia, and look what happened? You didn't mean a word of any of it back then, so why in the world do you think that I'm going to buy it this time around."
Sasha's mouth had dropped open at that. Not only was Anne even less trusting of her than Sasha had thought, but she didn't even think that Sasha meant anything of what she said at the temple. Sure, she was lying about being the one in the wrong at Toad Tower, but she did know that she'd hurt Anne during their time before Amphibia. Sure, it was all for a good reason and Anne would have been worse off if those times didn't happen, but Sasha does understand that she still hurt her and wishes that she didn't have to.
"I-Anne I know I lied to you back then but not everything was a lie." Sasha pleaded.
"Why should I believe you?" Anne answered flatly.
"We've been friends for years Anne, you have to know-"
"Have to know what? Have to know that you're a controlling, manipulative liar? Because trust me, I've had the chance to figure that out."
Sasha understood that she was in a bad situation here. Not only was everything she said getting stone walled, but it was getting a little harder to concentrate on figuring a way through all of this with just how much it was beginning to hurt her that Anne didn't trust her.
It was then that Marcy tried to interject.
"Anne, listen I know that Sasha has done sooooo much to make her untrustworthy, but I've seen her over the last few days and she's changed-"
"Marcy." Anne said, cutting the girl off. "I'm really sorry, but right now this is between me and Sasha."
The tone Anne used with Marcy was certainly softer than what she used with Sasha, but it still left little room for discussion.
Despite how quickly Marcy's attempt to interject into the discussion failed, Sasha was thankful for it. Not only for reminding her that Marcy still had her back and was willing to trust her, but because it gave her an idea for a new avenue to try to get Anne on board with her as well.
"Look, Anne, Marcy's telling the truth. I've had a lot of time over these past few days to see just how bad everything got. I hate the Queen and want her gone just as much as you guys." Sasha was very much telling the truth when she said this, even if she had a different plan for how to get rid of the Queen than Anne and Marcy, and she hopped that saying something more truthful would get Anne to at least consider trusting her. "I promise, after everything I've seen here, I will happily fight with all of you to stop the Queen. No matter what it takes."
Anne…simply rolled her eyes at that.
That's really not the reaction I was hopping for.
"So, you want me to believe that you're all on board for stopping your own actions?" Anne asked, seeming both incredulous at Sasha's suggestion and at the idea that she would believe it.
This time, Sasha really could not hide any surprise on her face. She really did want to stop the Queen and really did hate the things that the Queen had done in this past year, and yet Anne wasn't even willing to believe that.
Yeah, I can understand why she wouldn't believe me when I came to her saying that I was wrong about what I had done considering the last time I did that, I used it as a way to betray her, but she can't seriously think that all of the stuff the Queen did is stuff I wanted to happen.
Can she?
"Anne, I-those aren't my actions, those were the Queen's actions."
"Right." Anne answered flatly. "So, they're the actions you haven't done yet"
"They're actions I'm never going to do!" Sasha replied back, the hurt she felt starting to leak into her voice.
"Oh, and what's going to be different the next time around?" Anne asked. It seemed like every word out of Anne's mouth just reinforced how much she didn't believe, trust, or even like Sasha anymore.
"Anne, you can't really think that the psycho sitting up in that palace is like me, right?"
"Yes, I can." Anne's answer came fast and was stated like it was a simple and obvious fact. A simple and obvious fact that somehow managed to shatter Sasha.
"But, Anne I've never-I would never do anything like this. I'd never do anything like what she's done." Sasha said, trying to hold herself together.
"Well I've been there to see you do this stuff Sasha. I've been there to see you put a Newtopian War Hero through a wall. I've been there to see you leading an army to destroy a city! I've been there to see you turn my best friend's foot into a puddle!"
"Anne, please listen to me! I know the Queen did a bunch of really horrible, horrible things, but that's not me, not really! She's gone nuts and isn't in her right mind, but I haven't. You know that I'd never do anything like this." Sasha all but begged in response, barely holding herself together. Sasha was pretty sure that she's never talked to anyone like this before. Even with her parents, she's never spoken so…desperately.
Whether Anne noticed that or not, it didn't seem to matter to her. If anything, Sasha's please just made her narrow her eyes at the blond.
"You tried to kill Sprig at Toad Tower just because he stood up to you for me."
Sasha had no response to that. No words came to her mind at all at how to respond to that and what Anne was very clearly implying with it.
"What?!" Marcy said in surprise before turning her head to Sasha "You never told me that part of the story."
"Of course, she wouldn't." Anne said before Sasha could ever try to reply. "She's a liar who is happy to hide whatever information she has to so that she can always be the one in the right, always be the one in control."
"Anne, I-" Sasha tried to get out before Anne interrupted her.
"What Sasha? Are you going to try and say again that you're nothing like the you sitting in that palace? Because I've got to tell you, trying to execute political prisoners and trying to kill someone who stands up to you, kind of sound like things a bloodthirsty tyrant would do!"
"But-"
"No Sasha, don't. You're so determined to see yourself in the right, so determined to stay in control of everything that you can't even understand that that girl sitting in that palace who has done so many horrible things to this world and the people here, is you! Ever since you got here to Amphibia, you've just gotten worse! From a controlling bully on Earth, to a second in command to an iron fisted warlord, then to a usurper and now a horrible tyrant. You keep trying to pretend that you're so different from her, but you're just a version of her who hasn't had the chance to do as much as her yet."
Sasha couldn't even open her mouth to try and get words out before Anne spoke again.
"Oh, and constantly calling her "The Queen" instead of calling her anything that implies she's you, doesn't actually mean that she isn't you."
Sasha simply sat in silence. She had no idea how to respond to what Anne was saying. She didn't think that she could respond. She had entirely lost control of the situation and she felt like she was coming apart at seams in the most painful fashion possible, and she couldn't even find the words to scream for help. All she could do is sit there and see just how…broken things have become with her and Anne.
It was not simply Sasha who remained silent however. Anne didn't add in anything else. She simply stared at Sasha, almost daring her to respond.
However, there was still a third person in the room, and it was her who finally broke the silence.
"Anne, I need to say something on this."
Anne turned her head towards Marcy.
"Marcy, please I'm-
"No Anne, I'm the one who brought Sasha here so I should have a chance to actually speak on this, plus I'm also a commander in this resistance, so I absolutely should be able to get a say on this."
Anne opened her mouth to respond, only to then pause. She closed her mouth and let out a sigh as the expression on her face softened.
"OK, you're right. I'm sorry that I've been overstepping you here."
Marcy sent a small smile Annes way.
"Thank you."
She then stood up and cleared her throat, and began to speak.
"I know that Sasha has done a lot of crummy things, both before and after the Rebellion. Both before and after coming to Amphibia even. But we both know that there's way more to her than just the bad stuff, right? She's helped defend us from bullies, cheered us up when we're down, and is even willing to risk hurting herself to help us."
Sasha noticed a pained expression come across Anne's face at that, though it disappeared rather quickly. Sasha guessed that Marcy's last comment may have brought up memories of Toad Tower, though that was only a guess.
"And I can tell you Anne," Marcy continued "that I have seen that side of Sasha on full display since she got here. She hates what's her future self has done just as much as us. She's gotten to see Queen Sasha's brutality on full display at the Cerulean River, and after she got to see what her future self does now when she's in a fight…I've never seen that kind of haunted look on her face after seeing that."
Sasha was surprised at how enthralling she was finding Marcy's little speech. The last two times that Marcy had really been speaking in this room, she was simply recapping what had happened while she was away from the resistance base. But this speech was more about hearing how her friend saw her during those exploits, and that did far more to catch Sasha's attention.
"And it's not just that moment Anne. Sasha has been having nightmares, ones she refuses to admit to having, but she's having them nonetheless. She is horrified by what she has seen here Anne, by what she allowed herself to become. And do know what else? She's not just sitting around being horrified about everything, she's actually been trying to help. Whenever we've seen someone in need of help, whether it be the Newtopian Exiles at the Cerulean River or the prisoner transport we intercepted, it's been Sasha who has been the first to suggest we go in there and help."
While Sasha had to admit she wasn't that happy the parts of the speech about how badly seeing the Queen's actions have affected her, she was happy to see that her attempts to help out in the future might be seeing some pay off.
"Sasha has a long list of crimes, a long enough list that I probably don't even know all of them. But what I do know that she is way more than that list, that there is a Sasha deep down inside who's better than the Sasha that you fought at Toad Tower. Better than the Sasha who betrayed us at Newtopia. Better than the Sasha sitting on a throne in the palace right now. And I Know that that better Sasha is right here." Marcy pointed to Sasha as she finished her speech.
For the first time since her hood had come down, Sasha felt a smile creep onto her face. She mouthed a thank you to her friend and then turned to look at Anne. The Thai girl looked like she was deep in thought about what Marcy said. Sasha had never seen the girl look so conflicted.
Finally, after a few moments of silence Anne closed her eyes shut, and then re-opened them. Sasha's stomach sank at the pained expression that appeared on Anne's face.
"I'm sorry Marcy, but I can't just keep believing that Sasha is going to get better. Not after everything that she's done, not after everything she's put us all through."
Marcy's face fell at Anne's response.
"Bu-But Anne you can't mean that, she-"
"I do mean it Marcy! You might be willing to give her another chance, but there is nothing that won't convince me that she's isn't just going to try and take advantage of whatever trust we give her."
Marcy didn't respond to Anne. The girl simply sat down, with a look on her face like she just realised that two people she deeply cares about will never be able to reconcile. It was an expression that Sasha knew well.
Anne looked at the expression on Marcy's face, an expression that conveyed so much pain and only sighed.
"I really wish you had just done the time travel plan you talked to me about instead of this." The Thai girl mumbled to no one in particular as she put her head in hand.
It seemed like that should simply be the end of the discussion, that there was nothing else left to add. Anne had made it clear that things were completely over between her and Sasha and nothing would fix it. Except, there was one thing that made Sasha very curious.
"What do you mean "the time travel plan that Marcy had talked to you about"?" The blond asked the Thai girl. "Do you mean she didn't tell you that she was trying to bring me here?"
Marcy's eyes widened at Sasha's question.
"No." Anne answered, "She told me that since you keep kicking my butt even after I got my own powers, that we could use time travel to grab an earlier me, bring her here and then have both of us team up against you."
"Seriously Marcy? You lied to Anne about your plan?" Sasha asked as she turned to her friend.
Except when she looked at Marcy, the girl was looking down at the table, refusing to meet Sasha's gaze. She couldn't look more ashamed if she were trying to. She looked like…well, like she had been telling a pretty big lie.
And if Sasha were being honest, a part of her knew that Marcy wasn't telling the truth before. Too many things were off.
She had apparently planned to bring Sasha to the future and then send her back, but had no plan on how to convince anyone to work with her on that or how to get the stones needed to send her back. Yet, despite these glaringly obvious details, she had plans and supplies for transporting two people back to Wartwood, like she only didn't plan for details that would be specific to Sasha being brought to the future.
She hadn't told Sasha the plan straight away, and only did so after Sasha herself had suggested it. Not only that, but when Sasha did bring it up, Marcy was slow to respond, almost like she only just came up with the plan in that moment.
But perhaps the most obvious tell of all, had been when she first arrived in the future. She had been planning to bring Sasha to the future, and yet when she first saw Sasha…she reacted with the kind of fear that she'd show towards the Queen. Like she hadn't expected to see Sasha there at all.
Sasha had noticed all of this, but brushed it all off. It didn't matter that there were a few things off. She was in a destroyed future caused by her own actions, but she at least still had one friend around who believed in her and wanted to try and fix this with her. She wanted to believe that her friend was still on her side after all of this. And the most believable lies, are the ones that people want to believe. Even when they're lying to themselves.
"…you didn't lie to Anne, did you?"
Marcy finally looked up, and met Sasha's gaze.
"I…I tripped. I had set up the time machine…and…" Marcy's voice was shaking as she spoke "…and set it up so that it was locked on to Anne just after she got her powers. But then I…well, I tripped. And I accidently hit the console and made it…switch to you at an earlier time. I didn't even know I had activated it until you were standing there next to me."
Sasha could only sit there in silence. Just minutes ago, Marcy had been the only one speaking on her behalf, the only one who had her back and now…now she knew that she was just what Marcy was left to work with when her plans went awry.
"I don't understand." Anne said, breaking the silence that had taken over the room "If bringing Sasha here wasn't your first choice then why did you go along with it like this after everything that happened?"
"I…I didn't know what else to do…" she admitted. "I spent so much time working on the machine, and I was so happy to have a version of Sasha that wasn't trying to capture or kills us that I…"
Marcy simply trailed off, not able or not willing to expand on what was going through her head.
"You…" Sasha began "You didn't trust me enough to bring me here…you just…you were just desperate to have us all together again…"
After days of travelling together, finding out that Marcy, one of her oldest friends, had been lying to her about this…Sasha was about ready to fall apart at the seams from everything with Anne, and it was only Marcy being their to support her that seemed to allow her to stay together, the last strand of thread holding together the last remaining seam…and now that thread was coming apart. There was one last thing that Sasha had to ask, however. One last thing that would fix that thread…or cut it completely.
"Marcy, after everything that's happened, do you trust me and trust that I want to change things for the better…or are you still just doing this because you're desperate for the three of us to be friends again?
Marcy looked at Sasha, her eyes tearing up. But she only looked at Sasha for a second before she shut her eyes and hung her head low.
"I don't know."
The thread was cut.
Sasha felt her breathing start to get faster and heavier. Everything was falling apart around her, and there was nothing to save her. The last life preserver she had to hold onto had just been ripped from her and she began looking desperately around the room and within her own mind for something to keep herself from drowning, to keep herself from falling apart.
But all she saw, all she could focus on, were her two closest friends, one with her head in her hands and quietly sobbing, and the other now standing next to that girl and trying to provide some comfort. Sasha could swear that Anne sent her a look of pity for a brief moment, though after everything, the idea that Anne would feel anything like pity for her was a foolish idea. But right now, that foolish idea was the closest thing to a life preserver that she could find.
"Anne, I-I know that things have gotten really bad but-"
"Sasha, please not right now." Anne said, still trying to provide some sort of comfort to Marcy all the while sounding tired. Whether it was simply because the situation had exhausted her or she was simply tired of Sasha trying to convince her, the blonde wasn't sure. But after all of this, she felt like the only possible route she had forward was to assume it was the former.
"No Anne you need to hear me out here, please!" There was no attempt by the girl to hide that she was begging at this point, and no attempt to pretend that her eyes weren't beginning to water.
"Sasha, please! After everything you've done to us, can you just give us one moment for Marcy to put herself back together." Anne said, her tone forceful, but quieter than it had been, a hand still on Marcy's shoulder, trying to comfort the girl.
"No but Anne, that's-that's the thing, I haven't done anything to you guy, you know-you know that I would never do anything to hurt Marcy, anything to hurt you-"
Sasha closed her mouth instantly. The words had come pouring out of her, no thought put into them, just desperate pleas to try and do something to get Anne to understand…but the look on Anne's face when Sasha said that…she had never seen Anne angrier in her life.
"You'd never hurt us?" Anne questioned back, the incredulity in her voice drowned out by the anger.
Sasha stood from her chair so that she could take a step back. Anne took a step towards her.
"Anne I-I didn't mean it like that-"
"Didn't mean it like what Sasha? Like you never hurt us? That you didn't spend most of our friendship bullying me and Marcy around?"
Anne kept advancing as Sasha kept retreating towards the wall next to the room's entrance.
"L-look, I know that I've been a bit controlling, and I know that it's hurt you guys, but you have to know that I always had a good reason for why I-"
"Oh, is that right?" Anne said, sarcasm noticeable in her voice even through the anger that covered it "So when you spent all that time telling me that those shoes my parent's bought me for my birthday looked terrible on me and better on you, it was somehow for my benefit and not just cause you wanted them?"
"I-"
"Or how about that time you pressured into Marcy dropping out of chess club? Was that because you thought it would somehow help Marcy, or because it would free Marcy up to help you with your homework at a time you preferred?"
"That isn't-"
"And what about pressuring me to steal my own freaking birthday present? Do you even realise how messed up that was?"
"Anne, please-"
"Oh, and let's not forget how you tried executing my Grandpa and Brother?! Do you think that didn't hurt?! Do you think somehow you were making things better for me by doing that?!"
Sasha's back finally hit the rooms wall. She had nothing left to even try and protest against what Anne said. Anne, by contrast, had not yet finished with what she had to say.
"You spent so much time controlling us that you never stopped to think about how you just kept on hurting us, how you kept using us. The only time you ever did think about it was so you could justify it to yourself. And all of that was before Amphibia. Ever since you came here, you've gotten some ridiculous thirst for blood and violence and honestly, I've seriously been starting to think that it was always there and I just something I kept refusing to see it, just like all of the other terrible things about you."
Anne looked almost out of breath from everything she was saying.
"You know what I feel so stupid about? Marcy actually had me wondering for a moment there if you had changed. She actually had me convinced for a second there during her speech. But you haven't changed. You still keep refusing to see all the terrible things about you. Well, I'm telling you right now that I am done refusing to see what's really inside you, and I have been done refusing to see that for a long time. You can waste all the breath you want to on trying to convince me that you've somehow changed your ways, but I will never trust you again, I will never want to be friends with you again, and I'm pretty sure I would happier with my life if I never saw you again!"
Anne finally stopped talking. Perhaps it was because she had gotten out everything she had to say. Perhaps it was simply because she was out of breath. Perhaps it was because even she seemed a bit taken aback by how vitriolic her word had just been.
Sasha, however, did not feel taken aback by what was said. In fact, she didn't feel anything from it. Not in the sense that she was indifferent to it though. It was more like, everything inside of her, all of her anger, pain, joy, pride, everything that was her, had been violently ripped out, with nothing but a void left behind. For the brief seconds after Anne finished talking, Sasha simply felt like she was empty.
But that only lasted for a few seconds before it all came rushing back to her.
Sasha went from feeling a void where all of her emotions should have been, to feeling a flood of them. A part of her almost hoped that she would feel angry, that she would feel some sort of rage at Anne's words to fuel her own speech against the girl.
But she didn't.
There was no anger.
There was no rage.
There was sadness.
There was pain.
There was even guilt.
There were now so many different feelings swirling around inside of Sasha that she had no real idea what the number of them was, or what names went with them. What she did know, is that she had never felt worse than she had in that moment.
The water pooling in her eyes nearly tuned into tears, and Sasha screwed her eyes shut tight to avoid that from happening. She wouldn't cry. Not in front of Anne. Not again. Not after all of this.
Sasha did not say anything back to Anne. She did not make some sort of plea, or justification. All she did, was turn to her left, and run through the rooms entrance.
She ran through the underground tunnels of the resistance, not caring who saw her, not caring about the voices calling after her. Really, she couldn't pay them any mind. She couldn't even stop to make sure that she was going in the right direction. All she could do was run. The world around her was shut out, to the point that she was navigating the base simply off of her memory of walking through it.
She ran to the entrance of the base.
She ran up the stairs.
She ran outside the farm house and past the lookout.
She ran into the woods.
And she kept running.
Sasha kept running and running and running.
And as she ran, she began to remember. She remembered how sad Anne looked when she convinced the girl to up those shoes her parents got her. She remembered how uncomfortable she looked whenever Sasha convinced her to break the rules. She remembered how much more uncomfortable she looked when Sasha got her to break the law. She remembered all of the rage and pain that Anne showed at Toad Tower. She remembered how hurt she looked when she said that Sasha had pushed her around her whole life.
I didn't mean to hurt her, I didn't. I just didn't care that I did!
I never wanted to hurt her, I just didn't care that I did!
I never tried to hurt her, I just never cared if I did!
Sasha's legs gave out from under her. Not from the running, but from the weight of that last thought.
As she lay there on the grass in the woods, curling up next to a tree, she kept remembering. She remembered all of the times that she did something to Anne, something that hurt the girl. That hurt the girl she loved. And as she did so, she started to remember all those times she did she had hurt Marcy. She even remembered what she had done to hurt Percy and Braddock.
And then, she remembered something else.
She remembered the feeling of falling.
She remembered the feeling of another hand grasping hers.
She remembered looking up into eyes that were desperate to try and save her.
She remembered a voice trying to reassure her that everything would be fine.
She remembered making what was somehow both the hardest, and the easiest decision she ever made in her life.
She remembered the feeling of letting go of that hand.
And then, she remembered something from before that.
She remembered eight words. Eights words that she said just before she let go of that hand that grasped hers. Eight words that she tried so hard in the days afterward to forget. Eight simple words...
Hey Anne? Maybe you're better off without me.
Tears streamed down Sasha's face, as those eight words and their meaning echoed through her mind, again and again.
AN: Well, hope you guys thought that one went well. Stuff like Marcy lying about her plan always being to bring Sasha to the future and Sasha refusing to remember what she said to Anne before she let go of her hand in Reunion are things that I had been really wanting to get to back when I was writing this story, and I think it ended up turning out pretty well (I could have maybe done a little more foreshadowing on the Marcy reveal, but I still think it works).
I also hope that Anne didn't come across as too harsh in this. I envisioned this chapter as essentially being an extended and more brutal version of the speech she gave to Sasha just after the coup in True Colors, where however harsh she might seem with her words, she is pretty much right to feel that way about everything she is saying.
And as always, I appreciate any feedback you guys have, and I'll see you next time.