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Higher
Chapter Nine: Vitamin E
Quite a few people stared at me as I ran to the corner, and I stopped by the subway to use the phone.
I paged Edward with the pay phone's number, hoping he'd call back before someone needed to use it, and I smoked a cigarette while I waited.
Occasionally, I'd glance at the apartment and then up to the window, praying I wouldn't be here whenever Renee and Phil decided to leave. They'd totally see me; I hadn't gone far at all.
Sweating to death, I fanned my face with my hand. It was hot, still brutally hot, and it was already late in the day.
And I had no place to go.
I'll probably end up at Carvel.
There's no way I'd unload on Alice, not when her parents are doting on her today. I know for a fact she's so happy, and I was glad for her.
Despite Jake being there, Rosalie was also working. Carvel has A/C and freezers I could stick my head in, but I didn't want to give up on Edward just yet. Maybe if I paged him from work, he'd call back, recognizing the number.
Just when I was about to beep him again, I did a double take at the curb.
The blue van pulled up, stopping short.
Relieved, I fucking ran to him.
"'The fuck's goin' on?" He palmed my cheeks. "You were cryin'? Why?"
It took all the courage I had not to start sobbing now. "It's a long story…How are you here?" I peeked around him.
Edward turned to follow my line of sight. "You hidin' from somebody?"
"My mother and her boyfriend…They should be leaving soon, like any minute. That's Phil's Nissan in the bus stop . . . We should go." I went for the van.
He stopped me. "Bella, I'm confused as fuck right now. Gimme somethin', fuckin' talk to me." He made me look at him.
I gulped. "That was Phil…the last person who picked up."
"Okay." He massaged my shoulders. "The douche who asked about my intentions?"
I nodded. "I settled that. Um, my mom—" Licking my dry lips, I still had cotton mouth. "She bitches I don't tell her anything, and she can be horrible—she's always been neglectful, this martyr—paints herself my victim when I do everything I can to make things easier." I looked to the ground. "But she kept saying I didn't confide in her, I never tell her anything—"
"Baby, you don't tell me shit neither, but go on." He kissed my forehead.
"I wanted to hurt her, so…I told her…about us, what we've been doing, and she freaked out."
"You're not allowed to date?" He snorted. "You're eighteen. What's the big fuckin' deal?"
I smirked. "It's the fucking deal. I told her you were the guy I was fucking."
"The guy..." He hummed, not looking happy.
But I couldn't believe he was here.
"Thank you," I said. "I'm sorry…if you were worried, dropped things to come here, and it's this crap."
"It's a'ight," Edward said. "And it's not crap. You need me…it's whateva. I'm hea." He had a hint of that attitude, but it didn't matter. I've come to realize that's just an Edward thing.
I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him the tightest I could, inhaling his scent. "Still…thank you."
"I know what'll make you feel better." He lifted my chin with his finger.
I grinned, getting up on my toes. "I do, too." I nipped his jaw.
"Not that," he laughed. "But we'll get to that later." His hands came down to palm my ass.
I sighed, and the truth was I already felt better.
"Back up a second." He let me go to reach into his pocket. "Take this." He opened a knife, which was pretty fucking big.
"Um…Edward. I'm not gonna shank anybody—"
He threw his head back and laughed. "No, baby…please, don't." He gazed into my eyes, running his thumb over my lower lip. "Walk like you're checking out the bus schedule. Drop it to the ground, and before you pick it up—ram it into his tire as hard as you can."
I furrowed my brow, smiling widely and awkwardly.
"He shouldn't be parked there anyway." Speaking of, Edward's van was illegally blocking the crosswalk. "And by the time he gets the donut on…the city will have him towed. You'll feel better."
"They're on their way to Long Island." Anger bubbled up inside of me. "I had to give my whole paycheck to Con-Ed, and she's on her way to the fucking Hamptons—leaving me in a stuffy apartment, no money, no food in the fridge. People treat cats better…"
Edward quirked an unhappy brow, placing the knife in my hand.
I stared at it.
"Time's a wastin' . . . I'll be in the van." He slapped my ass, giving me a little push.
My stomach was suddenly twisting and turning.
Was I seriously going to do this?
It was insane.
I got halfway there and turned back to him.
"Go!" Edward shouted.
I gulped, keeping the knife flat against my forearm, my forearm pressed to my hip. There was no one waiting for the bus, but there were some people milling about.
Contemplative, I stared at the schedule, and I was scared to throw the knife on the ground. I kept picturing it bouncing and stabbing me in the leg or something.
Instead, I got down to my knees, pretending to tie my sneaker.
And I know I was down there, practically curled up for a while.
And it was as though I could feel Edward's eyes burning a hole in my back.
My plan was to stab the tire while I straightened up to stand.
1.
2 . .
3 . . .
"Get some balls," I whispered to myself.
Edward will think I'm whack, some cornball, goody-goody if I chicken out.
"Okay." Stupidly, I closed my eyes, my body stiff as I made to stand. I brought my arm back, and then I jabbed the knife into the tire as hard as I could.
A hissing noise sounded and I felt a gust of air hit my leg.
All of which scared the crap out of me.
My heart started beating rapidly.
I turned to run toward Edward, but all I saw was my mother and Phil leaving our building.
They saw me, what I did, and they paused to stare, but when I heard tires screeching, I ran into the street.
Edward pulled up, and he already had the door open.
I hopped in, swearing I was about to die.
"Close the door!" He was already driving away, and I scrambled to do what he said.
"Fuck…" I let out a breath.
Edward hooted and hollered as he beeped the horn. "You were brilliant." He stopped at the red light, and we weren't even a block away from the crime scene yet. "But what took so long?"
Nervous, I stared behind us. "You have to go. Run the light—"
"Why?"
"The cops—"
He reached to hold my jaw. "You're so cute. Gimme kiss."
"Edward…" I whined, and I didn't care if I sounded scared.
"Baby, no pig's gonna get'ya for some bullshit Michelin. Be easy." He squeezed my thigh and drove off toward Sunset, and that made me feel loads better.
"I just slashed Phil's tire!" I shouted, staring down to the knife.
"Gimme that." Edward took it from me. "I, uh, use this for work."
I giggled as I sat back.
"You feel better?" he asked.
I nodded. "That was a total rush, though! Like a high, even if I was a little scared?" As I slowly blew out a breath, I tried to wipe the smile off my face. "Wow…" I couldn't believe I had the guts to do that.
Every time I'm with this man, I learn something new, I do something new, I feel I grow stronger, and I get closer and closer to falling in love with him . . .
Who am I kidding?
I'm fucking gone already, and it's still not the X talking.
But it is still my secret.
"Pull over," I said, wanting to ride him where he sat—needing a quickie fuck.
"Why? I wanna drop you off so I can get back to work."
"Oh, where are you dropping me off?" I asked.
He handed me a single key on a ring. "That's to my room. Don't go through my shit! I swear to Christ, Bella, if you—"
"I won't," I promised.
"There's a blunt on my dresser. That's for when I get outta work. Don't smoke it."
I smiled, excited that he trusted me, even if he's giving me rules.
"If you find pills, shit that looks like you can snort it—don't even fuckin' think about it."
"Whoa!" I exclaimed.
"I'm holding some shit for a friend." He'd brought his voice down and waved a hand.
"Oh, another favor?" I laughed, knowing he was full of shit.
Edward used to be a drug dealer, and then he went to prison.
He learned how to become a better drug dealer there, and now he's still . . . a drug dealer!
"Listen to me…If you go through my shit, you're gonna find shit, and then you're gonna be in deep shit from me." He pointed his thumb back to himself.
"I won't touch anything," I said. "I'll just…lock your door, get undressed, and chill in your bed naked. I'll just wait for you."
"A'ight . . . That's what's up, but don't start without me." He nodded. "Gimme kiss."
I grinned as I leaned over to kiss him. It was awkward; he was still driving, but I got some tongue action that made my crotch ache…with need.
"Get back in ya seat." He sounded muffled. "Don't make me pull over."
I sucked a breath in, sitting back but leaving my hand on his thigh, while I wished he could park somewhere.
His pager went off. "Fucking bullshit air conditioners." Edward ignored his beeper. "Oh…there's some trees by the bowl you can have."
"It's okay." I shrugged, because I didn't need anything while I was with him. Being with Edward is a high in itself, and I don't need to get out of my head. He makes everything better, makes everything fade away. "I have these pills…um, there's twenty of them. You can have them." I felt I needed to give him something, and...I don't know. I'd seem cool? Gain some cool points? I didn't care about the money anymore.
"Pills?" He scrunched his nose.
I went into my backpack, but I had to take mad shit out to get to the bottom. "Here."
He took the bottle from me, quickly glancing to it and back to the road.
"I'm curious. How much can you get for those?" I asked.
He laughed. "Like a buck a pill. How many are in here?" He shook the bottle. "Give 'em back to your mother." Edward held them out to me.
I didn't take them. "Wouldn't it be more than a dollar?" I didn't believe him. "You'll give me a buck a pill, but you'll sell them for three bucks a pill."
"Ugh…" He groaned. "You just gave me a hard-on." He grabbed his cock.
I giggled.
"It's all about supply, demand, and inflation. As long as there's a demand, there will be a supply—and vice versa, as long as they're around, people will demand—and you can inflate shit to a reasonable amount. Unless everyone else is dry. Then, you can charge whatever-the-fuck, 'cause 'heads'll pay anything if they're desperate. The product works for you. Understand?"
"I do," I sighed. "I always thought drugs sold themselves…but there's a science to it?"
"Not really." He shook his head. "They do sell themselves—the product works, not you. I walk into the back room at Tunnel and all the nickel-and-dime bastards look at me like I'm the candy man . . . That night…I was a day late because of some shit. I also took a few out, knowing a few of youse would wanna roll. But I had about seven hundred of them taped to my calf. It was uncomfortable…and that shit was light."
"Wow." I crinkled my brow. "Why are you telling me all this?" Edward has confided in me before, but he always leaves out the specifics.
He shrugged, placing a cigarette in his mouth. I grabbed his lighter to light it for him. "Thanks, baby." He blew the smoke out. "Because I think about you…" he gave me a fleeting glance "—and I worry about you, but you never say a fuckin' word. So, I figured…I'd share, hoping that someday you'll share with me."
"Oh…" That lump in my throat came back.
"I know…You're a good girl. You're boring. Nothin' happens to you...All that's bullshit." He turned onto his block.
"It's really not," I whispered.
"What's the deal with your mom's man? Why you don't like him?" He puffed on his smoke and stopped in front of his house.
"Renee's had a lot of boyfriends throughout the years. She's always falling in love, only to be heartbroken when these slimeballs move on." I shrugged. "They break up with her. I'm there for her. I listen to her cry and rant, and then…we'd get closer. It'll be great for a few weeks. She'd be home. We'd have money…I mean, she makes a decent living, but some of the men she's been with…she'd take care of them, but not me. When she's single, she's a…mom, until she meets the next guy." I looked to Edward to see if he was listening.
He nodded, encouraging me to continue.
"And Phil scared the crap out of me before, so…I freaked. I literally spazzed out, which made everything go downhill. But then she was talkin' about that perv coming to live with us…He's too young for her. She's thirty-seven, and Phil is like…thirty, I think, and he's a asshole." I gritted my teeth, stiffening, while I felt Edward massaging my shoulder. "I know I sound like a baby. I'm an adult, and if I don't like where I am…I hafta figure something out."
He hummed. "He's a perv? What'd he do?"
I shook my head. "Nothing. I think I might be exaggerating. He didn't-didn't do anything. Well, I don't know—" When I looked back to Edward, I was actually afraid to say what happened. I had a feeling that no matter what I said, he might get upset.
The night we met, he was pissy just when I danced with someone else.
While I love my best friends, Edward said I can't kiss Alice and Rose anymore—not if I wanna kiss him.
And since the night we met . . .
I live to kiss him.
"What'd he do?" He chuckled. "Tell me…everythin'. Now."
I whined, rubbing my stomach. "Edward—"
"Cut the shit and just fuckin' tell me…Jesus." He was exasperated.
"My mother forgot something. They'd left earlier and came back. While they were gone…I took one of her speed pill things, and then I cleaned the house, and I did it fast. I was gross after, so I took a shower, and I love my music…I was alone. I left the door open." I licked my dry lips. "It's my house, you know? But then I left the bathroom in my towel, and I wasn't paying attention. I bumped into him. I punched him in his chest. I thought he was a burglar there to rape and kill me." I chuckled, but Edward didn't think it funny.
"And then?"
"My mother walked in, like what's taking you so long? She'd been out in the car waiting for him…for however long, but to my knowledge…I mean, he'd been there for thirty seconds. The bathroom door was open, so…I dunno." I thought I was going to vomit.
"Yo, you think he was peepin' on you? Like, he saw you?" He shrugged, bopping back to show me his palms. "What?"
I swallowed loudly. "I don't know. My mother gave him the key, and he said he knocked…but the music. Maybe he was waiting before he used the key…?" I blew out a breath. "I hope."
"So…he didn't do anything?" Edward clapped, smiling widely.
"No, not really."
He nodded. "Then you're good—no worries." He handed me back the bottle of pills. "Give those to Emmett. I owe him fifty bucks—bad bet, you know?" Edward narrowed his eyes, staring out the windshield. "He won't know those aren't worth fifty." He vigorously massaged my shoulder again, his words taking a tone I didn't recognize. It made my stomach ache, though. "That fuckin' Sega Jazz has…we make too many dumb bets."
"Jazz has Sega?" I raised a brow because I love that. "The Sonic games…" I trailed off, and my attempt at inane chatter did nothing for the tension in the cab. "Um…"
"Go upstairs." He pointed, trying to look up to his window through the passenger side. "The faster I get this shit over with, the faster I come home." He slapped my thigh hard, and it hurt, but I gave no indication that it did. "Go." He jerked his chin.
"Are they gonna be mad I'm here?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Those lazy motherfuckers should be workin'."
From what I know, Jasper works five days like Edward—although Edward is off weekends while Jasper gets two random days off—and Emmett works like forty-eight hours straight twice a week or something.
Edward leaned over me again to open my door. "Go 'head."
I couldn't move yet. "Um..."
"I got a box of Yankee Doodles on my dresser, and anything in the fridge with my name on it—knock yourself out."
"Thank you," I said.
He scratched his nose with his thumb, waiting for me to leave, but I didn't want to.
"So, um..." I didn't know what to say.
Edward must have thought I was waiting for something. "Later, I'll give you trees for the pills. Don't take any—"
"No, I was giving them to you. I don't want anything," I whispered around my thumb, biting my nail.
"Get that out ya mouth." He pushed my hand away to place his lips to mine. His kiss was gentle; he didn't deepen it yet. "Go straight upstairs." Edward wove his fingers into my hair, and that's when he almost killed me—kissing me like that. It was passionate, heated.
He growled as he backed away. "You better be here when I get here."
"I told you…I'm not going anywhere." I panted, telling him the words I said the night we met. "I'm yours, remember?" I wanted to stay his in the worst way, and I never wanted to be anyone else's.
"Go." He pointed.
"Okay," I whispered, hesitant, and hoping my heart would slow. "Um…right, okay." I opened the door wider and hopped out, feeling like an ass.
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