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Higher
Chapter Eleven: Six Feet Under
I must have stared at that phone for more than twenty minutes. It was a comfortable focal point, and my mind was blank, although I managed to respond a few times for Jasper. He thought I was listening as he went on and on about Alice. He was sincere, sounded like he cared a great deal about her, and that must feel so nice.
Having someone give a fuck...whatever.
"You gonna call Alice or what?"
"Huh?" I quirked a brow.
Jasper pointed to the phone. "She should come over. We could all chill, maybe order some food. You're in no shape to leave," he laughed.
"Oh." My eyes widened as I studied the cordless in my hand. "I hafta leave."
He shook his head, and I felt crazy tired. "No...Ed'll be home whenever, but call Alice now. Tell her to come over." He hit my leg. "Wake up."
I opened my eyes. "I-I, um, I gotta call Renee first." My fingers lazily hit the buttons, dialing my house—what I'd been trying to do for the past half-hour.
"Who's she? Invite her over for Emmett's sad ass," Jasper laughed. "He's just hating. You know that, right? Oh, shit...that's your mom, Renee...Still, if she looks good, holler at her for Em. Age don't matter. That nasty fuck puts up a good front, but he'd hit it."
A giggle escaped me as I placed the phone to my ear.
"Don't be mad at Ed...I always say the opposite. Hate the game, not the player." He chuckled.
I frowned, inhaling deeply while I tried to wake up some more. His words that basically agreed with Emmett had me feeling uneasy again, but the pain was manageable at this point, my mind a fucked mess in a few ways.
"Hello!" Mom shouted.
I pulled the phone away; she was too loud. "I'm alive, okay? I'm at my friend's house. No one kid-kidnapped me."
"Bella, why do you sound like that?" she asked. "Are you drunk?"
"Nope…not drunk. Listen, my friend was giving me a ride, and we took off like-like that because—" I forgot what I was going to say.
"Bella…? Bella…?"
"Oh, I slashed Phil's tire…" I snickered. "I know you saw that shit." I rubbed my palm to my itchy nose, looking to Jasper. "I slashed a tire today."
He nodded. "That's what's up. Tell your moms those perks are awesome."
I giggled, pushing Jasper. There was no way Renee heard him.
"Bella!" Mom shouted.
"Yeah...That's why I took off in a hurry. I didn't wanna get arrested." I stuck out my tongue, thirsty, so I gulped my water down.
"Where are you?"
I panted, licking my lips as I placed the cup on the coffee table, and I almost missed.
"Yo, you all right?" Jasper helped me out.
"Bella, where are you?" Renee asked.
"Rose's—"
"You're not!" she hollered.
"Why do you care?" I laughed, racking my foggy brain for something good.
"You're my daughter."
Fueled by anger, I was more aware. "I'm also an adult now, so it's...actually hilarious that you should care now." The concept was still baffling. "I'm eighteen for Christ's sake. Get off my ass, already." It came out mumbled but the meaning was still the same.
"Good one," Jazz commented.
I gave him a lazy high five, both of us barely reaching the other.
"Where. Are. You?" Renee asked, tone all stern and shit.
"I'm at Dad's." They never fucking talk. The last time they had anything to truly speak of it involved child support.
"Lemme talk to him," she said.
"He's working." I cleared my throat. "When he comes home…I'll have him call you."
"You swear you're there?" she asked.
"Swear…"
"Phil should be back soon. He went to get another tire. Why would you do such a thing?"
"Are you still going away?" I pushed my hair back.
"Um…" She paused. "You swear you're at Charlie's? If I come home, talk to him, and find out—"
"I'm at Dad's and I'm fine. Enjoy your trip." I hung up on her. "No one cares," I told Jasper, but he was half-passed out. "Wake up." I pushed him again. "I'm gonna call Alice now."
At the mention of her name, he shot up. "Do it…call her." He scrubbed his face with his hand.
"Shhhh." I placed my finger to my lips. "We can't talk about any-anything that happened today." I didn't want to depress her or ruin her day.
Jasper gave me a thumbs-up. "Please keep that 90210 shit outta everything."
I nodded as I dialed Alice's number, and I fucked-up—had to hang up and try again. "You dial."
Jasper was a sport. He called her for me and even placed the phone to my ear.
Alice's mom picked up. "Can I please speak to Alice?" I asked, my eyes as wide as saucers, hoping I'd stay alert.
"Bella…?" Mrs. Brandon sounded shocked to hear from me. "Alice has been worried sick—your mother called."
"Oh, no…we fought, and I left—"
"I'll get Alice for you." She cut me off.
I turned to Jasper. "Nobody cares."
He was facedown on the arm of the sofa now, but he still gave me a thumbs-up.
It was hard for me to stay awake, too.
"Bella?" Alice shrieked. "What happened?"
Hearing her voice, my face wanted to crumble. I needed her so badly right now. But I managed to stop my tears before they even started. "I just wanted to say hello."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I faked a smile, hoping she'd hear that in my voice.
"Where are you? And you better not lie!" She sounded pissed.
"Edward's…" I sighed.
"Thank God...I was worried. I mean, I knew Renee was exaggerating, but still."
"Jasper's here," I said, trying to get her off the subject.
"Um…I feel weird talking to him today. I keep wanting to tell him about my birthday," she rambled in a whisper.
My smile was genuine, as I wished I had that small of a problem. "Why don't you come over?"
"Why don't you come over here?" she asked. "Wait…you need me to come get you? You sound tore up from the floor up. Do you have any money? I have some, but not enough. Car service can take me there to grab you and drive us back—"
"Um…Jasper misses you," I said, not wanting to talk about my fucked status.
"I do!" he shouted.
Alice giggled. "Oh, man…that just put butterflies in my belly."
"We still going to dinner tomorrow night?" he asked her.
"Why would he think otherwise?" she asked me.
"'Cause you're avoiding me today," Jasper answered.
"Boy's got it bad," I laughed. "He's trying to listen to our phone call." He was. Jasper's head was practically touching mine.
Alice chuckled, and I loved hearing the happiness in her voice.
"No shame in my game!" Jasper widened his arms.
"Tell him—Bella, tell him I wouldn't cancel tomorrow night for the world. Wait, that sounds cheesy. Um—"
"I'd give you the world if I had it," Jasper said.
Alice sighed. "Bella? You still there?"
"Yeah…I'm here." I sniffled and scratched my nose; it was still fucking itchy. "And I'm fine. Hang out with your parents while they're visiting." I nodded, saying that because Jasper thinks Alice lives alone...I think. "Jasper will be here tomorrow."
"I will." He smiled.
"Bella…you're not fine. Just come here as soon as you can. Promise? Or…you'll call? I just—I don't know what to do, but—"
"Promise," I said.
"I don't mind coming to get you...You know? Or, give Jasper the phone. He can put you in a cab—"
"I'm fine," I giggled. "Bong hit went straight to my head. When I can move…I'll come to you."
"You can't move?" she asked. "What did you smoke?"
"Bud." I shrugged. "Right?" I looked to Jasper.
"Yeah, really good bud," he laughed. "Oh…you took that other shit, but I did too, and I'm all right."
I squinted to see Jasper, and he just looked fucking baked outta his mind—happy but tired and shit.
"What'd you take?" Alice shouted.
"Um…" I tried to remember what it was called.
"Percocet." Jasper supplied. "The strong ones, the ten milligram shits. Fuckin' awesome...I can't believe Em left them out here."
"What's that? Like…X?" Alice asked.
"It's for pain," I said.
"Why'd you take that?" She sounded huffy. "Bella, you can't just—"
"I don't know why. And I don't, but I feel a lot better than I did." I had no idea what I was saying, trying to think up an excuse. "I was in pain." I was honest.
"What happened?" Now Alice sounded sad.
"I, um, I tripped…my ankle was throbbing." It broke my heart to lie to her. "I didn't remember before. Now I remember, and my ankle feels better, and my brain is high. I'll be good in an hour." I couldn't believe I was still talking—able to talk.
My mouth felt like it was filled with marbles. The weed did go to my head while that pill numbed my body yet had it feeling good at the same time. All I needed to do was ride it out, maybe take a nap if I could. "I think I just need a nap. I'm totally fine."
"Okay…I'll see you soon?" she asked. "There's plenty of leftovers from dinner, and you can sleep here. I know my mom's gonna serve cake in a minute, but I can tell her to wait?" Alice rambled away again.
"Alice, don't wait for me...for anything. I'm fine, seriously." I hated that she was worried. "But in the meantime, I'll be here. Just call if anything, and I promise to head to your place as soon as I can. I'll sleep over. Oh...do not give my mother this number or tell her where they live." My words were fucking slurred.
"I won't…I love you, Bella. You should drink something and eat something…Look, I'm calling back in an hour. If you're still fucked, I'm coming to get you—wait, where's Edward?"
"Working," I said.
"Still…? Anyway, I'm calling back in an hour. All right?"
"Yes…I love you, too." I ended the call to stare at the television, and it was so quiet despite the fans and everything, I dozed off.
"What?" Jasper laughed, startling me. "What'd you say?"
"I didn't say anything," I whispered, relaxing back again, and my mind was stuck. Glancing at the time, I saw how late it was, and I knew I had to get out of here.
But I couldn't move. "All the lies…"
"Flies? Where?" Jasper stood up to look around. "Where is that fuck?" He picked up a magazine, staring at the ceiling.
"Work," I said. "He's working."
"Huh?" Jasper stared down at me. "You're fucking buggin', girl. Go lay down in Edward's bed."
"No...I gotta go." I felt my pockets for that key, and I found it. I just didn't have the strength to dig it out; meanwhile, I wanted to leave it on the table for Edward. "I slashed a tire today."
"You flashed your sire? Who's your sire, Edward?" Jasper laughed so hard. "Youse vampires now? Oh!" He threw his head back. "The tire..."
"You're fucking stupid," I said.
He chuckled. "I'm stupid? Shorty, you ain't even making any sense right now." He shook his head, like he was getting ride of cobwebs. "I'm awake now." His eyes widened.
"I think I need to eat—" I felt nothing, my body numb…my brain was empty, too. It was okay, better than what I could be feeling, but I'd never felt this out of control. I couldn't move, really.
And the thoughts I did have…I was stuck.
Just stuck.
It was no big deal, but I needed to leave.
Otherwise, I'd just close my eyes and sleep it off.
"Fuck, don't pee on the couch!" he shouted. "Yo, Em! Help me…! Can you stand?" Jasper was in my face.
I pushed him away or tried to. "Back off…"
"What's the matter?" Emmett came out.
I wished I was wearing a hood, so I could hide.
"She's gonna piss on the couch," Jasper said. "What do we do?"
"No…" I whispered.
But to be honest, I couldn't feel my bladder either.
"Eat."
"Eat?" Emmett asked, and then he slapped my cheek. "Come on, Bella...Baby, Wake up." He looked to Jasper. "What the fuck'ju give her?"
"She popped a perk and took a hit on the bong." He shrugged. "I feel fantastic, and I had a few beers, too...those things are insane, though."
"Your tolerance is also pretty high to shit!" Emmett shouted at him. "And look how small she is...Why'd you give her that crap?"
"She wanted one! Did you see her face after you ran your fuckin' mouth? Then that chickenhead told her all that shit. I'm surprised she didn't swallow the entire bottle," Jasper retorted.
"I'm fine." I managed to wave a hand. "I'm not gonna…ju'know. I'm just really tired. I need a nap." I closed my eyes, hoping to disappear, but I wasn't sleeping.
"Ed's door's locked. Just put her in your bed," Jasper said.
"No," I mouthed.
I could hear the TV, the fans, and Jasper and Emmett as they continued to speak to each other just fine. I could comprehend what was going on, too. They were talking about me. Emmett was yelling at Jasper, but I could no longer respond, tell them I was fine. Then I heard someone turn the phone on, the beeping of the buttons as they dialed.
Mentally, I was fully aware but numb, like I was sleeping but still awake.
I just couldn't open my eyes or move—too weak—stuck in my own brain.
"Bella, wake up." That was Emmett, and then the phone rang. Jasper was speaking too fast to whoever, and Emmett was still talking to me. "Bella? Come on. Wake up." He hit my cheek again. "You're scaring me, baby...say something." I felt him caress my cheek, kiss my forehead.
"I'm okay." I was finally able to mumble. "Stop." I didn't want him touching me.
"Wake up, hun. Say somethin'." Emmett placed his hands on my thighs, and I wondered why he couldn't hear me.
I tried to push his hands away. "Don't—" Again, I didn't want him touching me.
Emmett lifted me off the couch, gathering me into his arms. "Don't fight me." He squeezed me.
"Get off!" I pushed him, weakly, and then I was scared. "Don't do nuffin' to me." All I knew was that I was weak. Emmett likes me, and I don't know how much, or if he'd take advantage of me. He could fuck me, rape me, and there wouldn't be anything I could do to stop him. Petrified, but still not able to do much, I wanted to cry, scream...beat him off me. "Stop..."
Emmett hugged me close, rubbing down my back.
"No!"
"I got you." Emmett bent me over the bathroom sink, and I felt him behind me.
"No..." I was terrified, and I couldn't scream or fight Emmett off. I didn't know what he was going to do to me. "Edward, please. Help me—" I gasped when I felt cold water on my face. "Ugh—" I choked on some water, my eyes opening and widening while Emmett's hand kept cupping that freezing water onto my face.
"Come on, Bella…wake up." He shook me, and I wondered why he couldn't hear me again, why he wouldn't listen.
"No!"
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