Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

Beta'd by HollettLA.

Higher

Chapter Nineteen: Inevitable

EPOV

No matter what, I knew I was going back home.

I knew I was going to hug Bella, stop her from crying…listen when she has her head, and...maybe forgive her.

I knew…

Because Emmett was right.

Did I know I was going to fall in love with Bella from jump?

Nope. I just knew I wanted her.

Did whatever I had to just to have her…

And I cared about her too much, like if she's hurting as much as I am...I want to dry her eyes. No matter how much of a pussy move that might be, I had this overwhelming need to soothe her.

Also, now that I've calmed down, I can think logically.

Bella was being stupid, looking for kicks and...acting like a kid, acting her age.

She can be emotional, but I knew that her world changed completely within a short span of time, too.

Anger aside—logic or no logic—I wasn't going to let Bella go that easily.

If what I'd told her, what I'd ranted about turns out to be true, I'll let her go.

But I hoped beyond reason that she truly loved me—because of her reluctance to leave and all.

Even so, I didn't speed home.

That would have been stupid.

I went the speed limit, and now it took a while longer.

Honestly, with traffic, it took me close to two hours just to get back to Brooklyn.

It was total bullshit.

But it was okay. I needed the time for me, to clear my head some more before I saw Bella.

She scared the fuck out of me. If she didn't know boosting a car was wrong before, she should definitely know better now. Especially after I told her my story.

And she goes and does it anyway for the thrill?

My mind continually flipped back and forth between wanting to be there for her, and then...

I didn't give a fuck if she was crying, upset.

Inside, I was still fucking pissed, and a large part of me didn't want to see her.

But I had to see her.

And I had no trees on me…

When I got to Sunset, I stared at the bookbag on the seat next to me.

Nah, I couldn't take one.

If I did, that'd just make me a hypocrite.

Again, when I parked in the driveway, I took several cleansing breaths.

After leaving the van, I stretched out, because that was a long-ass drive.

The crib was quiet, when I can usually hear some ruckus from the sidewalk.

It was even quieter in the hall.

Steeling my nerves, I slung the bag over my shoulder and unlocked the door.

Emmett was sitting in front of the TV with a bucket of chicken, and he pointed the thigh in his hand to the back.

I jerked my chin in greeting.

And then that motherfucker Jasper turned the corner.

Before I knew it, I'd stepped onto the coffee table, and I threw my fist out as I hopped down near him. I got him in the eye, and he dropped to the floor. "You dumb motherfucker—you take my girl on a ride?" I yanked him up by his hair, only to clock him once more.

That second hit knocked him out, which was disappointing.

"Ed, that's enough," Emmett said. "You made your point. He knew you were gonna do it…He decided not to run like a bitch. For a dude his size, man, that takes heart—you want some chicken?" He held out his bucket.

I let Jazz drop to the floor. "No, thanks." I huffed, and I felt a lot better.

Alice left my bedroom. "Jasper!" she screamed.

Unaffected, I walked over him and went around her.

When I approached the door, Bella scrambled to get to me—got caught in the sheet, and then fell down.

Her hands stopped her fall…

"You okay?" I tried to help her up, but she went limp—letting out a wail and resting her cheek to the floor.

I closed the door, and then I picked her up. "Shhh." I placed her on my lap. "Are you okay?" I looked for blood, sure she'd hit her nose or her mouth.

She was fine; she just kept crying and now clawing at me.

I hugged Bella the tightest I could without breaking her ribs. "I'm here, baby."

Her cry was strangled, trailing off with a series of whimpers, and then her breathing was shaky—letting out these weird hiccup cries.

"Look at me," I whispered, holding her cheeks to gaze into her eyes. "I'm here. I'm angry with you. I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat…I'm fuckin' pissed. The shit you did, and then the theatrics, when all I wanted to do was help you." I shrugged. "But I'm here…I—" I blew out a breath. "I love you, Bella. I was stupid to think I could walk away…But I was even angrier earlier."

She sniffled and nodded. "I'm so-sorry."

I shook my head. "It's good I left…but I came back. Baby, I'll always come back to you." I knew that to be true. "Stop crying." I used the pads of my fingers to clean her face. "Take deep breaths and relax." I pushed her messy hair back and twisted it to stay away. "Did you eat dinner?"

"N-no." She hiccupped and shook her head, tears still falling. "I—I got my last check." Her breaths were so shaky.

"Shhhh." I rocked her. "Calm." I ran my hand down her forearm.

"I h-have some mon-ey for you."

"You don't worry about money. Keep it. You earned it," I said.

"May-maybe it'll be enough for-for—"

I placed my finger to her lips. "Stop. Keep your money."

She gripped my collar, only for her face to crumble again. "I wanted to die—when I thought you left. I'd rather be dead—"

"Bella." I held her chin. "Don't talk like that. Stop."

"But it's true…E-Edward, I love you so much, and I was mad too. But I was being stupid…I wasn't thinking, and then you scared me…yelling and grabbing me. And I was mad at you for the wrong reasons. I'm stupid."

I didn't deny it. That shit was stupid.

"I don't want anyone else. I want you…forever." Her knuckles were white with how tight she held my shirt. "I wanna build a life with you, devote myself to you, marry you one day. I wanna have your babies. I love you…so much."

All that made my chest feel tight again, but for different reasons.

I leaned forward, and Bella closed the distance.

Our kiss was gentle and filled with many things…and it was salty.

"I'm sorry." Bella was more relaxed.

I nodded. "I'm sorry if I scared you." I didn't know what else to say. "You scared me, Bella. You pissed me off…but I'd never hurt you, not ever, and definitely not on purpose." I cringed, wondering if she had bruises on her biceps. "I don't lose it like that anymore." I thought about how I just clocked Jazz. "I used to have a problem with my temper…well, it was worse, if you can imagine. I'd never hit you. I've learned how to walk away, and that's what I did before. Maybe I'm a grabby, loud guy with an attitude…"

"But you're my guy," she whispered.

I nodded, matter of fact. "Yeah, you're stuck with me."

"Not stuck…blessed."

I cracked a grin. "I'm still mad at you…no need to suck up."

She giggled through her remaining tears. "But it's true."

I sighed, looking to her blackened eye. Maybe she did beat Rose's ass. I don't know, but now that it's hours later, she had a nice-sized shiner. "What happened at Carvel?"

She swallowed, nodding. "Um…Alice's neighbor, Leah, said she'd run into Rose." She wiped her boogies on the back of her hand.

I leaned backward to take off my shirt; we used that as a Bella-rag, cleaned her up good. Neither of us was getting up for tissues, and she blew her nose in it too.

"Thanks." She sniffed. "We went to high school with Leah, and Rose told her all this crap. I told Leah none of it was true, and she believed me…Anyway, Rose told her that I blew both you and Emmett at the club…that's why you both liked me or something. I was a whore, I kept lifting my skirt for attention, and Rose told Leah about your past. Rose was running her mouth."

She was almost pleading with me. "I had to do something. Leah believed me…but I went looking for Rose. I don't care what she said about me, but…spreading your business." Bella shrugged, at a loss. "I lost it…we rolled around on the concrete, and this is nothing in comparison." She pointed to her eye. "I pulled out clumps of Rose's hair, and you being mad at me...when I was defending you, I got upset with you. And you were hurting me when you were pulling me, grabbing me. Your grip was too tight, but it's okay—"

"It's not," I said. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care." She hugged me tight. "I deserved worse."

"Stop." I held her chin to look at her. "No, you didn't—you don't, and I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She coughed into her closed fist.

"Where does the car fit in?" I wiped a few more tears away. "Stop crying, baby." My lips lingered on her cheek.

Bella's face crumbled, and she buried it into my chest. "I-I was so scared—you left, and I—"

"Shhh." I rocked her.

Bella sobbed some more, but she calmed down again.

"I'm here...I'm not going anywhere," I whispered.

She let out a strange noise, whatever it was strangled, as she sat up to face me. "Um...It was my idea…I was just so bummed and bored, and I wanted to do something—I didn't want to bother you at work. I missed you and—"

"I called around looking for you at lunchtime. You weren't around, but I was."

Her lip quivered again.

"Don't cry," I said, placing her down next to me. "I'm starving. You hungry?"

"Yeah." She cleared her throat.

I smiled wide, although I didn't mean it just yet. "I want one of those big heroes from the deli—the Italian bread. You think you can eat one of those?"

She grinned, grabbing my hand. "If I don't finish, you will…or take it to work."

"Ham and cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo?" I asked, 'cause I know what kind of hero my baby likes.

"Yeah…"

"You got it." I grabbed another tee out my drawer.

"I'll go with you."

"Baby, I'm gonna be right back. I'm not even taking the car. It's two blocks away." I lit a cigarette. "I'll be gone fifteen minutes the most."

"Okay."

"Go clean up," I said.

Bella righted her shirt and shorts, and then she walked out of the bedroom.

While she was gone, I hid the bookbag underneath the floorboard in my closet. The bag usually chills in the van when it's empty. I also took out a eighth of bud that'll last a day or two around here.

I left the bedroom to seek Bella in the bathroom. She was washing her face.

"I'll be right back." I kissed her shoulder.

"Okay." It was mumbled.