WWE Summersham PPV Results August 15, 2010 Los Angeles, California Commentators: Michael Bowl, Burger King, and Matt Striper Report by: A. Sheep of
Oh my the event starts with a look back at the little build up to our huge summer event. I sure hope we have room for promos and skits. One can only hope.
WWE Intercontinentnal Championship; a belt that means nothing now Dolph Ziggler, who is certainly not being held down (c) vs. Kofi Kingston who is also not being held back.
Let's see, we have the glory hound, Vicky Guerrero, who can't make up her mind weather or not she wants to be a stay at home mom or a WWE Superstar, living off her husband's name and reputation.
Right off the bat we have the New World Nexus interfering in this match. We regret that our opening match had no real winner or loser.
Especially since this is a $50 PPV. $60 for HD.
Backstage we see Edge chewing on beef jerky while talking to Chris Jericho.
Jericho: My heart isn't in this assignment tonight.
Edge: Maybe there's another short World Title reign in store for you.
Jericho: Doubt it.
Edge: Just think, you verses Kane, a clash of the has beens.
WWE Divas Championship Felicia Box (c) vs. Melina Too bad Melina isn't with TNA where she can better show off her skills.
But, as expected, Melina wins back the title. Melina celebrates with her title. Lay-Cool, the cheap imitation rip-off of TNA's The Beautiful People run in and attack her. McCool throws a kick which was a good four inches away.
A promo for WWE Night of Chumps airs.
3-on-1 Handicap Match Straight Edge Society (CM Skunk, Luke Ballows, & Joseph "Don't Call Me Joey" Mercury)
w/ Serena vs. Pig Slow If this were in TNA, Serena would be wrestling along side her team mates.
Pig Slow hasn't been successful since his days as The Giant in WCW.
Regardless, the giant jobber Pig Show manages to pile up the victory in this meaningless match. So much for CM Skunk as a main eventer.
We now see Kane carrying on the old out-dated Undertaker gimmick. Shame-Us, our WWE Champion joins Kane who is our WHC.
Shame-Us: I bet you wish you were pals with Criple H.
Kane: You don't think I know my days as champion are numbered?
Just then we cut to Mizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz arriving into the arena.
WWE Championship Shame-us (c) vs. Randy BOrton Our core audience of mindless sheep sure have been waiting for this match.
Wow after all that anticipation we had the match for the title end in a DQ.
We've screwed the WWE Universe yet again. Oh my, Borton and Shame-Us continue to brawl.
Now we see a trailer for the new John Xena movie. Hopefully this one won't suck,
but it probably will.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Kane (c) vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr.
Wait a minute, this is the WWE, we don't use the word "junior" around here.
Still, does anybody actually think Rey will win this?
Winner & still WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Kane
There's a casket outside of the ring. I wonder if The Underseller is inside of it. Yikes! I was correct. Yawn! Another Underseller and Kane feud begins.
A video airs of an announcement of WWE Friday Night Wackdown! coming to Scy-Fy.
Gasp! Daniel Bryan, the former Brian Danielson, returns to WWE to join Team WWE.
Should've gone to TNA when you had the chance, idiot!
Elimination Tag Team Match Team WWE ( John Xena, Edge, R-Liar, Chris Jericho, John Morrison, Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Daniel Bryan ) vs. Team New World Nexus
Too bad this even has stunk so far.
Darren Young ( Who? ) is the first to be eliminated from the New World Nexus team.
Michael Tarver (huh?) (The New World Nexus) is the next one eliminated.
John Morrison (Team WWE) is eliminated by a NWN jobber.
R-Liar (Team WWE) is eliminated next.
Bret Hart (Team WWE) is eliminated via disqualification. Bret is killing his legacy and credibility.
Skip Sheffield ? (Team NWN) is eliminated.
David Otunga (Team NWN) is eliminated. Nice name, dork!
Chris Jericho (Team WWE) is eliminated. Nice push, Chris!
Edge (Team WWE) is eliminated.
Yawn! The heels attack Xena now.
Heath Slater ? huh? (Team NWN) is eliminated.
Daniel "I should've joined TNA" Bryan (Team WWE) is eliminated.
Justin Gabriel (Team NWN) is eliminated. Snooze.
Wade Barrett (Team NWN) is now eliminated.
As predicted John Xena is the last one standing. Yawn!
Up next, this week's MONDAY NIGHT FLAW! WWE Monday Night Flaw Los Angeles, CA August 16th 2010 Commentators: Michael Bowl, Burger King "And welcome to another pulse pounding episode of Monday Night Flaw or at least we'd like to think so!"
"After last night's pathetic Summer Sham event we sure hope we don't disappoint our loyal core audience who just don't get it!"
Que John Xena music...
"Oh my... It's him, Xena is here for a promo!"