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Beta'd by HollettLA.

Some more time has gone by...time has moved head.

Higher

Chapter Twenty-One: Sunset

BELLA POV

September 1st 1994

When I got on the R train to head home, I sat down, thankful I found a seat at this time. Of course, I'm actually going toward Manhattan, and all traffic was in the opposite direction—leaving Manhattan since it's rush hour.

The train was still crowded, though.

Then this old lady stood to my side, trying to hold onto the bar next to me.

My head whipped around to the other people around me...curious to see if anyone else would give up their seat.

This city is filled with some rude-ass-fuckers. No one even glanced at the elderly lady. She could fall, break something…

I actually had a nagging feeling in my gut about it, too.

"Ma'am?" I looked to her as I stood up. "Please, sit here." I brought my mini backpack over to my front, so I could keep an eye on it.

She smiled, and her wrinkled face lit up. "Thank you, child."

I grinned back and eased my way to opposite side, where the doors would open.

Usually, when I visit Bay Ridge during the week, I wait for Edward to get out of work—pick me up.

Today, I went to visit my mother, and Alice was actually away with her parents. She didn't want to leave, but her father begged, which surprised Alice. Normally, her parents only worry about themselves. I mean, they ask her when they go away sometimes, but they're so nonchalant about it.

Vaguely, I wondered if that was some running theme with the baby boomer generation.

They went to the Jersey Shore for the weekend. Mr. and Mrs. Brandon, who've met Jasper but believe he's nineteen and not twenty-two, invited him to go along as well.

Man, I'd pay to be a fly on their wall this weekend.

Jasper…I hope he fares well amongst them. I know he smoked a lot before he left, saying he wasn't going to smoke for the whole weekend. Yeah, right. They left this morning, and I'll give him until tonight...until he's sneaking away with Alice to light up. The heat was sure to be on him, too, since Alice's parents are...like stuffy aristocrats?

I hope Jasper uses the right utensils at dinner.

Most of all, I just hope Alice has fun. She should. I was happy for them, but I was a little jealous—they get to go to the beach and we're stuck here.

Her parents have an actual house down there. As Alice's closest and oldest friend, you'd think they'd invite me and my boyfriend. There would be more than enough room.

I spent the morning with my mom, and then I had to get out of there when she started her shit.

Yesterday, my mother had called Alice, who called me . . .

I'm not a bitch, but I know better.

While I wished I could give Renee the phone number and the address to Edward's apartment, I knew she'd abuse it.

Then again, Rose could always give it to her.

Regardless, I didn't want her constantly hounding me.

I didn't even speak to her over the telephone. She told Alice to tell me to be home early.

Edward dropped me off on his way to work.

I was promised that Phil would not be there.

My mother asked me to break that down the minute I got there. She was calm, wasn't annoying, and she actually seemed concerned. But if she was that concerned, loved me so much, she would believe me, would have chosen me instead of that perv—her flavor of the month.

That's exactly how I see it—how it is.

Her blatant disregard for my feelings…fussing over Phil and his…

Fuck that.

I have eyes, I see, where I hadn't before.

Things just hit a boiling point with us.

I grew up a latchkey kid because besides work, my mother was always more concerned with her lackluster love life.

And I was always there for her.

Anyway, I'm sick of thinking about that shit.

It was time to move on...onto better things.

There's no need to dwell on the past and all that.

I've been doing so much better. Maybe I'll have a beer with Edward now and then, but I haven't even smoked pot in weeks. I've been happier . . .

I told my mother the truth, about what happened that afternoon I slashed Phil's tire.

I explained that while I'm not sure, I had this overwhelming, creepy feeling in my gut that Phil was watching me while I showered. Then he kept eyeballing me when I was in a towel…

My mother quickly dismissed my worries, saying that it was my imagination.

Pissed by that blatant disregard again, I was ready to call Edward, see if he could come back and get me.

Renee begged me to stay, excused herself to the kitchen to make us some eggs. She burned them, but again, she gets props for trying. The woman can't cook because she's never done it before! Cooking is a skill that gets better with time like many others. Renee's mother, my grandmother—who died last year—taught me how to cook.

Mom was never close to Nonna Pascari, but I enjoyed getting to see her whenever I could. She lived in the Bronx, where my mother grew up, so yeah. I didn't get to see her that often. I'd asked if I could live with her. My mother always said no, and then she died last year. My grandmother wasn't that old; she'd started young like her daughter, had Renee when she was twenty. But she lost control of her car while on her way down to Atlantic City. Nonna hit the guardrail hard, sending her into traffic that was going in the opposite direction. It was this huge pile-up of vehicles, and she passed instantly—before she even made it to the hospital.

My mother and I ate with minimal conversation…then she asked me to move back.

I was expecting her to ask, but…

I didn't even want to be there for a few hours if Phil was. And she really thought I'd want to live with the man?

Renee insisted that they really wanted me to come back. Once more, her including that asshole in the equation made it all the more less appealing.

Not that any of it mattered...I wasn't leaving Edward for anything.

She never asked me about Edward. She never brought him up, which was smart on her part.

I am crazy in love. I love that man something fierce, and there was no way her words would change that. I was glad she'd saved her breath.

She went on to ask me if I was okay, which…I'm better than okay.

Edward forgave me for joyriding. Truth be told, that day I got upset with Edward for getting upset with me. I was sad, hurt, and…I was mad at him for some stupid reasons.

Everything…my life was different.

And I wanted to adapt, be more like those I'm around.

While I missed very few parts of my old life, it was hard adjusting.

I went from being totally alone—basically—to having someone in my corner seemingly 24/7.

Every minute I spend with Edward is amazing, but…

I don't know.

Feeling like maybe I didn't fit in his world, I was stupid and thought I should change—have more of an edge, be cooler?

I still cringe when I think about it.

But since he came home that night…

That night we put all our feelings out there. We had a great talk, and Edward is a lot smarter than he thinks. He's hard on himself, but he's wonderful, and he's sweet…too sweet. He cares about me so much, which—as someone who's never had that—is baffling.

I'm just me, and here's this…amazing man with this huge heart…and he's doing all these things just for me!

I revel in Edward's love, and things have been better—even more fantastic between us.

Back to my visit with Renee, she lost me when Phil came home. I swear to Christ, he totally looked down at my cleavage when he said hello. Bastard tried to give me a hug, too.

I didn't even make a stink, although I felt all kinds of violated.

I won't be telling Edward.

Let sleeping dogs lie and all that.

Strangers—or even Emmett, who does have a wandering eye but knows not to cross lines—random guys checking me out in general doesn't bother me. It's the fact that Phil's dating my mother, and with all the crap Renee was talking, we're supposed to be this family; Phil a stepfather-figure.

That shit is creepy, nasty…makes my stomach knot up.

If I moved back in with them, I'd have to worry about Phil being handsy, my step-daddy trying to sneak into my bedroom at night. God forbid.

Fuck that mess.

When the train pulled into the 59th Street station, I was quick to hop off, happy to be freed from my jumbled thoughts. The subway wasn't crowded, and I was walking up to Fourth Avenue in no time. It truly is convenient that we live—literally—down the block from the subway.

As usual, I was aware of everything, but I still kept my gaze low. The sun was out, so I truly had nothing to worry about. This neighborhood, however, can be scary.

Thirsty, and knowing there's plenty to drink at home, I stopped in the store to get a fifty-cent ice.

I placed it between my teeth, about to tear it open, when I heard, "BELLA!"

My body whipped around, and I saw one of those chicks who was with Tanya that night.

Living here, and since that night, I've seen all three females randomly around.

But they have never interacted with me, nor have they called for my attention. Tanya pretends I don't exist, heeding Edward's warning, and I've been on my best behavior since the carjacking incident...which…it's been a month, the best month. It's the beginning of September, actually—Labor Day weekend—so it's been more than a month—with no drama, no problems.

Well, I still haven't found a job, which stinks. Edward says I don't have to work, not right now. No one minds me living there for free. Sometimes, I cook. I'll clean the bathroom because no one else cares, the kitchen because no one cares, the living room . . .

And in two weeks—around the time of my birthday—I'll be starting classes at Kingsborough. I have an appointment with an advisor next week to work on my schedule. Edward said he'd pay for it, but my father relented. He's going to give me some money—I hope to have a job soon, when I'm settled in school—and I was approved for a student loan. It'll come together; I have faith.

So, yeah…about six weeks have passed by with no drama.

This chick was alone, but she was the biggest of all three—on the heavy side with cornrows, wearing baggy pants and a loose shirt, looking like a dude. And she just looked mean, like she was in a lady gang.

Rose was actually jumped when she left Carvel one night, many weeks back. I felt bad for her, which surprised me...that I even cared? When we fought it was a total catfight. Rose can't fight—she'd scratched me, went for my hair while I'd gone for hers. Her elbow got me in the eye, and that's how I got my shiner. She never landed a punch.

Ever since I threw that first punch at her at Edward's…Dude, I have a decent right hook that no one taught me, and there was something exhilarating about fighting.

I'd never go around looking for it, though.

I heard Rose was beat up by the girlfriend of some guy she'd been fucking around with? I have no idea with the damn rumor mill. She needed stitches; she had a few caps put in because they fucked with her smile.

Honestly, I felt badly.

While Rose admitted she'd hated me for however long, I always looked at her like she was my best friend. I don't know, but she did all that fucked-up crap to me. I got over it.

Alice stopped being her friend, hasn't spoken to Rose in a long, long time.

When this chick started getting closer, I decided to steel my nerves, knowing she could totally beat my ass. She didn't need her friends for me to feel intimidated.

But if I ran now…

I'd be running forever, and I do live here.

"Hey," I said, when she was in front of me, unconsciously taking a step back.

"How you doin', sweetheart?" She eyed me from my toes up, but she wasn't sizing me up.

"I'm good." I nodded, folding my arms across my chest. "You?"

She smiled. "Oh, you know. Same ol', same ol'." Her head bopped to a muted beat I couldn't hear. "I know we haven't met on the real—I'm Irina."

"Bella." I put my hand out.

She shook it, and there was nothing malicious going on, yet I wondered what the hell she wanted. "I see you around the way with Ed . . . He's a good guy."

"Yes, he is," I agreed.

"Eat your ice, Ma…don't let it melt." She chuckled.

I bit my lips together, but I didn't eat my ice; I threw it into the garbage. "How do you know Edward?" I was curious.

"Around the way—same 'hood." She shrugged.

"Oh…" I nodded.

"On your way home?" She went for the corner, as if she'd accompany me.

"Yeah." I walked next to her, stuck for conversation. "I like your nails." That was the only feminine thing about her—her longish, ruby red nails.

"Thanks. I get 'em done ova at the chino's, a block down that way."

I stared at my short, bitten down nails. "I've never had mine done before. Like, I've had manicures, but…no nails."

She stopped walking. "You got time? We can go check it out now."

"Um…" I did have time, nowhere to be. Edward wouldn't be home for a couple hours. We had leftover baked ziti we'd have again tonight. Emmett's home, but all he does is watch TV. "How much?"

"Fifteen."

I had a twenty on me, and I bet Edward would like them, I thought. "You don't mind? You can just show me where it is…"

"I got time…nothing to do." She turned around, and so did I. "Where you from? Originally?"

"Bay Ridge." I stopped walking. "No offense, but why are you talking to me?"

She laughed and patted my back. "Keep walking."

Nervous now, I didn't.

"I meant I'd explain as we walked." She was laughing again. "Look, mami…I see you around, only with your man. I'm guessing you got no job…You look like you need a friend. I'm for real. I can understand because of Tanya—"

"What's her deal?" I started walking again, thinking Irina nice to do such a thing. My guard would still totally stay up. Others like her would never do what she's doing, but that doesn't mean it's impossible…how I gave up my seat to that old lady.

"I'mma be real wit' you, all right?"

I nodded as we crossed the street.

"They used to mess, which I'm sure you know."

"I do," I said.

"Not for nothin', how you live with those three hotties and keep your dome straight?" she asked.

I giggled. "I…only have eyes for Edward. Jasper and Emmett, they're like brothers." They truly are. Jasper is a total troublemaker, but honest and funny as hell. Emmett…well, we're friends. He's always trying to give advice that goes in one ear and out the other. He occasionally checks me out, and I ignore it.

"That's what's up . . . The shit with Tanya…She didn't give a shit. She's seeing some cat named Miguel. He lives in our building, but she saw Edward with some girl. She didn't know what you looked like 'cause it was dark out, but…suddenly Edward dissin' her became a problem, when she was fine talkin' to her man Miguel."

I rolled my eyes.

"We were also just on our way to the store that night." She pointed back to the one I'd just been in. "When we saw youse…Tanya, knowing he had a girl, had to say somethin'. It's mad petty. Just pay her no attention."

"Okay…thanks, by the way, for doing this." Still apprehensive, I decided to roll with it and be polite. "You're not gonna lure me away and then Tanya hops out to kick my ass, right?"

She chuckled. "Nah, you're cool. I swear."

I smiled and we entered the nail salon.

The bell sounded as we walked inside. It reeked of chemicals, and there were two long rows of manicurists. Irina told one of them what we wanted, and we were able to sit next to each other.

An Asian lady got busy doing my nails. The manicurist kept tsking and saying, "No bite," to which I was embarrassed.

During, Irina started telling me more about herself. The first thing she said was that she was bisexual. She loves sex, having a lot of it with both men and woman, and I didn't give her my opinions on that. I mean, she basically painted herself a total slut. In the end, I just smiled and I didn't judge her. The more she spoke, the nicer she was. She's twenty-five, currently unemployed. She had a seven-year-old son named Julio. Irina lives with her mother and her sister, along with her son, and her friend Kate. She's lived in Sunset her whole life, and she plans to go back to school.

All-in-all, she honestly seemed like a nice person, and I hoped this wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass—chillin' with her.

After the shit with Rose…

I felt I couldn't trust anyone, except Edward and Alice—the two people who own my heart.

Irina asked about Alice, too, because she'd seen her going here and there with Jasper. I actually clammed up, didn't want to tell her too much.

Because I didn't know…her true intentions. I didn't want her knowing that Alice still lives in Bay Ridge, stuff like that.

I made sure to get the acrylic tips nice and short, much shorter than Irina's. They already felt weird, uncomfortable, and I hoped I could function with them.

After we picked out our nail polish, Irina asked me how I met Edward. "Well, Alice and Jasper met on AOL?" We took our seats again and handed our colors over. "Alice had to bring friends for Edward and Emmett. We all had a blast, and…Edward and I hit it off." I knew I sounded wistful, with stars in my eyes, but I didn't care.

"Damn, girl," she teased. "You got it bad, huh?"

"The worst…I'm gone, hooked on all things Edward." Again, I wanted to shout that from the rooftops.

"That's cool…Edward was bitten by the love bug…I'd never think it true if I didn't…see you guys kissing that day," she laughed.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, you know men…they're easy," she said, and I guessed she didn't want to tell me about Edward's past, for which I was grateful. I hate being reminded of just how many women he's been with. Although, after having such amazing sex, I couldn't imagine going six years without it. "Edward also has a reputation…You know what? My bad. I swear, I wasn't sayin' that shit to get you upset. You know? It's actually a good thing—I was gonna say, but I don't wanna blow up E's spot. He's a good guy."

"Tell me," I blurted, needing to know now.

She laughed, nodding. "Okay…He picked up a reputation for not kissing bitches. He'd do whatever, just avoid their mouths." She shrugged.

"Oh…" I remembered Edward backing away, the first time I'd tried to kiss him. But then he kissed me ALL night. ALL night. We kissed and kissed, and we just continued to kiss. The cab ride…it was just a make-out session. "Really? Edward's…always kissed me." I honestly couldn't see it.

"The boy never kisses," she said. "I've heard that over and over."

"Did he at least kiss Tanya? Weren't they seeing each other for a while?" I asked.

"Hardly. That bitch used to gloat. Look, she's my friend, but she's a simple bitch. I don't say nothin' to you about her that I haven't already said to her face." She pursed her lips.

"All right." I respected that, the not talking shit thing.

When the lady was finished painting my nails—hot pink because I just had to have it—I was afraid to touch anything. Thankfully, I'd paid beforehand. We sat under the nail dryer for over twenty minutes. Our conversation still flowed, but we didn't talk about anything important.

But then she brought up Emmett's huge-ass donkey dick—her words.

I felt my face flush, and I didn't want to know, but I totally did. "You've…with Emmett?"

"Girl…" She squirmed in her seat. "That boy is fine, sweet as hell. He still single?"

I nodded.

"My girl Katie and me—we tag teamed that boy, and he was able to keep up!" She winced with a shrug to her shoulders, excited. "All those fucking muscles, those dimples…" She hissed, sitting straight.

"Cool." I smiled.

"Those boys know how to fuck…I can't even. I can't even pick a favorite."

"Um…" I frowned, wondering if Edward was bunched in that. "Edward—"

Her eyes widened. "I meant Jazz and Em, sweetie."

I blew out a breath. "Cool." I was relieved. "Really?"

She nodded slowly, and then we stopped talking.