And John Xena is still yacking away..
"Boy, all the Hannah Montana fans are sure going crazy over this sorry excuse for a former World Champion. Yes folks, TNA's World Champ Rob Van Dam is admired by men and true students of the game as is AJ Styles and Samoa Joe, while John Xena is only popular with the Jonas Brothers crowd."
Xena: The WWE Team was victorious against the New World Nexus! Wade Barrett was no match for me as I valiantly out-lasted each and every member of the NWN. As I celebrated my win, Miley Cyrus called me up offering me concert tickets. She even said I'm a better actor than The Rock even though all my movies sucked and Rock actually has good flicks on his resume.
The New World Nexus stand around trying to be like Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sean Waltman, Randy Savage, Buff Bagwell, and Scott Steiner, but fails miserably.
Xena makes fun of the NWN guys. A high school kid could've made more clever insults than he did.
"Oh my, it's a General Manager alert!" GASP!
The GM will put NWN to the test here tonight on Monday Night Flaw!
"Each member of New World Nexus will individually take on members of Team WWE!" Gasp!
Wase: Um, anyone loses tonight will be kicked out of the NWN!
OH WOW! AWESOME!
Chris "I Need a Real Push" Jericho v. "Hollywood" Wade Barrett During this match a fan at home pops in Starrcade '83 as presented by the National Wrestling Alliance.
While this fan is watching real wrestling, here's what happened...
Winner & STILL Leader of the New World Nexus: "Hollywood" Wade Barrett
Oh my, the guest hosts are announced...
Charlie Day, Justin Long & Jason Sudekis are all here.
"Oh here come the Hart Dynasty!"
"We Have A GM Alert!"
"From this point on the Unified Tag Team Titles which mean didly squat will now be known as the WWE World Tag Team Championship!"
"Wow! Unbelievable!"
Bret "Hit Man" Hart comes out to present the new belts.
Uh oh! Justin Gabriel says he's wrestling Bret tonight.
Daniel Bryan, who foolishly returned v. "The Outsider" Michael Tarver Boy, good thing that smart fan is watching Starrcade '83 instead of watching this stale crap.
Winner & STILL member of the New World Nexus: "The Outsider" Michael Tarver
Good idea resigning with WWE, now you're left laying and have lost your match.
Ha ha!
Joke Matthews is in the back asking to explain his actions of what he did to Bryan.
: WA! I should've been on Team WWE, not him.
SPECIAL ALERT!
The GM says no more Bret Hart. "Last Call" Justin Gabriel will have a different opponent. But who?
"I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD, THEY COUNCIL ME, THEY UNDERSTAND..."
"Oh my it's Randy Boreton!"
I wonder which match that real fan is watching on the old Starrcade '83 footage.
Oh... by count out...
Winner & STILL member of the New World Nexus: "Last Call" Justin Gabriel Yawn! Boreton runs back in and hits a diamond cutter.
I thought this was individual competition. As in singles matches.
Skip "Poppa Pump" Sheffield & David "the Rod" Otunga v. John "I Miss Melina" Morrison & R-Liar
"!"
Sheffield and Otunga win this match that's as interesting as a root canal.
Melina, Gail Kim, & Eve v. Jillian Call, Felicia Box, & Moreese
Boy, it's too bad Gail Kim can't just head back to TNA and take Melina with her.
This is a HUGE example of why the TNA Knock Outs are superior to the WWE Divas.
The heel team wins.
Time to wake up here. Some guy named Heath Slater punches out Edge backstage.
Heath Slater v. Edge Oh that's right. Heath Slater is a part of the New World Nexus.
I just got word that fan is enjoying the NWA Wrestling action. Starrcade is awesome.
Oh, and we have another count out here. Slater wins in another waste of time match.
Justin Long is hanging out with the Great Krappi in the back.
Some lame skit occurs. Yawn!
John Xena vs. Darren "Razor" Young
"Oh my, I sure hope this main event doesn't suck."
"We have John Xena against a jobber, you do the math."
"TNA Hardcore Justice was way better than our Summer Sham event last night."
"Yeah, I know."
With the most pathetic STF ever seen, Young taps out.
The New World Nexus attacks Young and throws him out of the group.
"Thank you all for tuning in to Monday Night Flas tonight!"
!
Straight from the vault, I have just found an original Flaw written by its creator, S-Jenkins32-1
Good evening and welcome to another Monday Night FLAW, our flagship to our company that is waaaaaaay past its prime! I'm Jim Floss along with Larry "The Burger King" Flawler, and Burger King, we have another show that will definitely NOT be a waste of time! Yes we do JF! We're going to have our rising star, !
KENNEDY! job out to the greatest WWE Champion ever, John Spleena!
Also, tonight's main event is going to be the biggest of all time! It's the Battle of the Politicians! It's Vince McHAMM vs. Triple Hog, I mean, Triple H!
We start off FLAW with yet another boring Vince McHAMM segment.
Vince McHAMM is about to fight three men? No wait, it's
!
The guy from 3-Minute Warning is back, and he once again uses his most
devastating finisher, a thumb jab to the throat!
He fights all three guys like it was no effort!
WELCOME BACK ! This
was definitely NOT a waste of an opener.
Jeff Hardy and Londrick defeat Sisqo and Team Brokeback Mountain! You can tell that none of them are being held back! Too bad Jeff Hardy can't go higher than the IC Title!
Here's another pointless Vince McHAMM segment with him welcoming back William Regal! Regal has to look after Hornswallow McHAMM tonight! YIKES!
Blandy Orton, pro wrestling's savior, tells us all that he should be champion and he will be champion.
Now we show the greatest thing the WWE has ever done, even better than everything TNA and ROH have ever done...
DIVA SEARCH CONTEST!
William Regal, the real man's man
is out playing Catch the Greased Up Leprechaun with Hornswallow!
The Highlanders demand a Tag title shot and say they
will finally win a Tag Championship that means absolutely nothing!
Look out! Here comes Little Reign and he's going
to compete in a match that was already done last week!
Little Reign, why is your brother in the better promotion, TNA?
After all that, Hardcore Holly defeats Little Reign. Holly truly is a legend!
A boring promo involving divas. Beth Phoenix gives an amazing promo and is nearly about to attack Lillian Garcia
when Candice Michelle makes the save. Who cares how bad the promo is? There's plenty of
PUPPIES! WHOO-HOO! WHOO-HOO!
-
!
While my 58-year old broadcast partner drools over young ladies' breasts, let me just say the "Battle of the Politicians" is next!
Vince McHAMM defeats Triple Hog Hog Hog in a true Match of the Year candidate! After all that, Triple H gets his ass beat by Jamal, I mean
! We totally didn't see that coming!
Triple H gets a sledgehammer and Umaga totally pusses out!
What a great FLAW we have so far! I don't think we'll last after this Thursday when TNA finally goes two hours!
WOW! Now we have Santino Marella and Maria, two people no one cares about,
now hosting an even more useless in-ring show called Marella at the Movies!
They review a true cinema masterpiece, The
Condemned! Here comes Val Venis who is definitely not a jobber!
He insults Santino and gets his ass handed to him!
Todd Bitch'em now interviews the greatest WWE Champion ever John Spleena!
Spleena yet AGAIN talks diarrhea out of his ass! THE CHAMP IS QUEER!
-
MORE PUPPIES!
MICKIE JAMES DEFEATS MELINA AND HORNSWALLOW COMES OUT! HE TOTALLY UNDRESSED HER! SHE'S NAKED UNDER THE RING! I GOTTA SEE THIS... ACK!... JF ! ACK!...
It appears that Larry "The Burger King" Flawler just had a heart attack.
Well we have a useless Steve O promo and William Regal looks at Melina's clothes!
Another Steve-O promo. DAMN!
Mr. Kennedy is jobbing to John Spleena, next!
And our core audience of women, kids, and Alzheimer's patients are chanting Spleena's name!
John Spleena makes Kennedy tap out to an STFU.
Blandy Orton totally kicks his ass! Who's going to win at No Mercy, as if we didn't know? I'm Jim Floss along with the ailing Larry "The Burger King" Flawler. Good night everybody!