The same old watered down crap brought to you by the WWE...
World Watered-down Enterprise!
"We're here live from Cincinnati Ohio, hopefully we won't disappoint our core audience of crappy programming! Any way, I'm Michael Bowl!"
"And I'm Burger King! And we have a guest star here! Oh boy! It's Chad Ochocinco!"
"Who?"
"He plays for the Bengals."
"It's Flaw Roulette tonight!"
"Oh, we're doing that garbage again..."
"Boy, TNA has wrestling matches that excite and all we can counter with is this stupidity!"
(The Mizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz is on his way.)
Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah
"What an exciting promo from !"
"Right Burger, let's here what the football player has to say."
Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah
"Boy this is a great scenerio..."
Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah
GM ALERT!
"Oh boy!"
It's time to figure out what type of match Mizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz will have. Felicia Box is in the back with the wheel.
"Wow-wee it'll be a submission match!"
PA-Qwick! It's a GM Alert!
The football player will determine his opponent.
?Hmmmmmmmm...
The NFL star chooses Daniel "I'm Watered Down Now" Bryan.
"Let's hope he could still be as great here as he was in ROH, but I doubt it."
RAW Roulette: Non-Title Submission Match The Miz v. Daniel Bryan
OK lets hope this match actually delivers.
Yup... It was a waste... fakes an INJURY And now his NXT flunkie subs for him.
Daniel Bryan makes the NXT bum tap.
Oh my! The wasn't actually injured after all. He attacks Bryan and leaves him laying.
Jillian Hall is now joining Edge in spinning the wheel. YAWN!
RAW Roulette: Body Slam Challenge Edge v. Evan Bourne ?
"Huh? What? Why?"
Whatever...
Evan Bourne loses again. TNA should've signed both him and Lizzy Valentine.
BA QUA! General Manager Alert!
Now the mysterious GM orders a bodyslam match between Edge and Mark Henry, all because Edge squashed Bourne.
Mark Henry actually wins this one.
RAW Roulette: Song & Dance Match Ted Dibiase Junior & Maryse v. R-Truth & Eve
This is one of the most stupidist and dumbest things ever done by this company, and boy, they've done a lot of pathetic crap. Only the WWE Sheep would like this pathetic trash.
Speaking of lame and pathetic garbage, William Steven Regal spins the wheel and it lands on trading spaces.
"Hmmmmmmmm... I wonder who his opponent will be..."
"Oh, it's played out Goldust! HUGE surprise... NOT!"
Now we have some lame segment with Shame-Us that nobody cares about.
Next, Edge complains about the GM to Zach Ryder. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
John "I'm Nothing Without Melina" Morrison v. Shame-us If Morrison wins he will be in the 6-pack challenge no one cares about. Anyway, Shame-Us wins.
Now Chris "VH-1" Jericho has a sit-in protest in the ring. He wants back in the six-pack challenge, a match he has no chance of winning, at all.
Another stupid GM Alert! Now the 6 pack is an elimination match.
The GM says Jericho has to wrestle the Hart Dynasty, who are the Tag Team chumps, in a cage match and win. Then he'll be back in the match.
Why is Jericho even bothering? Vince will never make him into a serious main eventer.
Jericho buries the tag chumps to return to the six-pack title match.
Now onto even more rubish...
RAW Roulette: Trading Places Match Goldust v. William Regal
I won't even waste my time on this stupid predictible crapola.
The NFL player introduces himself? As an announcer?
RAW Roulette: Tables Match John Xena v. Blandy Orton
Okay, New World Nexus comes out. Yawn!
Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah
Why are they refering this as their season premire?
THEY DON'T GO TO BREAK! EVER!
Oh, Jericho and Edge come out.
Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah Blah Blah Blah blah blah blah blah
Anyway, the RKO man wins.
Night of Chumps Results
Dolph Ziggler defeats Coffee Kingston to hold on to the I-C title, a title that no longer means any thing.
The Pig Slow defeats bests CM Punk via KO
Daniel Bryan defeats Mizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz via tap out to win the US Title.
Michelle McFool the Angelina Love wannabe beats Melina to unify both Women's titles.
(Dozes off.)
In a match no one cares about, Kane defeats the old, crippled Undertaker.
In a pointless tag team title match, the low on talent Cody Rhodes and equally as horrible Drew McIntyre defeats the over-hyped Hart Dynasty.
YAWN!
Blandy "RKO" Boreton becomes the new Heavyweight Champion in that silly six-pack challenge.
Now time for another boring, waste-of-air-space edition of MONDAY NIGHT FLAW!
Let's see... we've got a pointless in-ring segment featuring Boreton and Shame-Us.
Now we have a lame tag team match with the new jumps against a jobber tag team.
I can't handle this. Time to change the channel or pop in a TNA DVD.