Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

Beta'd by HollettLA.

Higher

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Misconception

Since I promised Bella I'd be back early, I didn't stop by my father's house like I'd wanted to. I doubted he was home, too, probably someplace with Esme or sleeping, but I had this overwhelming need to speak with him.

I'd also told my woman we'd go to the movies, which was the last thing I wanted to do...

We might be too late to make it to one anyway.

Amongst everything else I didn't do . . . I didn't drive straight home either.

I drove around for a while and listened to the radio, hoping to clear my head, maybe sort through some of my thoughts.

It worked...kind of. Well, not really. I couldn't make sense of my thoughts, but I was able to relax a bit.

After calming down, I started to make my way back home.

When I pulled into the driveway, it was a little past eleven, and I saw Bella sitting on the stoop with Irina and Kate.

I wasn't upset. She was safe, chillin' in one of my tees and sweat pants, and she was smiling and laughing, looking happy.

It made me grin as I tucked my piece under the front seat.

Then I rushed to get to her, like I always do, despite the doubts and all the uncertainty that plagued me earlier.

Bella seemed to be having a good time, yet she frowned when she caught Kate staring at me. It was an awkward moment, and I'd felt Kate's eyes on me, while I only had eyes for my woman.

"Hey." I ran up the steps to peck those lips; she tasted like booze.

"Hi," she whispered, looking slightly around me, and I stared down to the bottle in her hand. Bella was drinking a forty-ounce St. Ides Special Brew.

"What's that?" I laughed as I lifted it to take a swig, and it reminded me of being mad young—swiping one from the corner store, chillin' in the street. That was the 80s. Shit's different now. You can't just walk around with a bottle no more unless you wanna get harassed by the pigs; however, you shield it with a paper bag, and it's all good.

It baffles me—how they cracked down on some dumbass shit, trying to clean up this city.

Sunset's behind, or officials just don't give a fuck, but other places are built-up.

There aren't as many junkies, hookers, and hustlers around since they're constantly chased away by cops . . . in those other places.

Cleaning graffiti has actually become a career—a city job.

It costs an arm and leg to live in Lower Manhattan now, when you couldn't pay people to even go there back in the day.

The Daily News—the newspaper—costs fifty cents now; subway fare has gone up along with bridge and tunnel tolls.

Technology, or whatever-the-fuck Jasper called it, is everywhere—becoming more affordable.

A few weeks back, Bella was bitching because the VCR jammy in the living room ate her tape, and I couldn't even help her. Before I was locked up, I stole a few Betamaxes, sold them around the 'hood, kept one.

We'd steal records and cassettes from the local record store. Compact Discs…they've been around for a while, but who has a CD player? They're expensive—are only catching on now.

Music in itself has changed, too. Hip-hop and rap are on the radio, when they were mostly underground years ago—they call all that shit old school now.

Once again, there have been a lot of changes in the past eight years, but many things have remained the same.

"It tastes good." Bella chuckled, belching under her breath.

I grasped her chin and searched her eyes. They were glassy and yet alight with happiness. "You drunk?"

"Tipsy…maybe." She snorted. "But…" Bella glared at Kate again.

"We should go," Irina said. "Just wanted to have a drink with B for her birthday." She held her hand out to slap it to Bella's. "See ya." Irina grabbed her friend to run down the steps to the sidewalk.

"Goodnight, Edward."

I heard what'sherface, but I didn't acknowledge her.

"Goodnight, Kate!" Bella spat.

I kept my back to them, and my girl was still staring hard. "What's that about?" I asked her, getting a kick out of it.

Bella pouted. "She was cool, and then you show up, and she gets all…whatever." She rolled her eyes, pulling on the railing to stand. "I gotta watch that bitch."

"No." I caught her before she stumbled back. "Yeah…you're just tipsy." My tone was sarcastic, and I held her bicep, helping her into the house. "You can trust me—don't gotta watch Kate…I wouldn't fuck her nasty ass with Emmett's dick."

"Emmett's dick!" she guffawed and then kept on laughing.

I chuckled. "It wasn't that funny."

She giggled, blowing out a breath. "I-I haven't had a drink—nothing—in so long." Bella started to crawl up the inside staircase.

"Cut it out." I knew she was being silly. "Walk right."

Bella just cracked up, and I grabbed the bottle from her again. She'd only drunk half, and with how small she is…and I remembered getting fucked up on just one of these . . .

"You're drunk." I smiled.

She fanned a hand in front of her red face, still laughing.

"Come on, baby." I gathered her into my arms and brought her upstairs.

The living room reeked of weed. Emmett and Jasper were playing video games with the radio going.

Bella urged me to take her straight to the bathroom so she could pee, and I did that before going into our room.

Thirsty, and because I didn't want Bella to get sick, I drank the rest of that shit—guzzling it down. It kind of went to my head, and I felt a little something, but it wasn't enough to even warrant a good buzz.

Sighing, I took off my T-shirt, and then I went to grab a Heineken.

Bella could chill with me if she wanted to, or fight Jasper for a controller—play some Sega—but all I wanted to do was relax in bed with a beer, maybe puff.

I was just settling down when Bella entered the room. "Hey!" She seemed energized now.

"'Sup?" I sipped from my bottle.

She closed the door to lock it. "It's my birthday soon."

"It is," I said, glancing to the alarm clock, but then my eyes traveled back to Bella with a quickness.

She was shimmying out of her sweats, her panties falling with them, and she was coming toward me as she did all that. It was sexy, but I was a little wary, too—hopeful she wouldn't fall and bust her drunk-ass.

"Ready for me, Mr. Cullen?" she hiccuped, raising a knee to get on the bed.

"Mr. Cullen?" I chuckled, reaching out to palm her beautiful face. "Gorgeous."

She giggled as she continued to crawl on top of me, straddle my lap. "You know what'd be awesome?"

I groaned, moving the T-shirt to roam my hands up her thighs to hold her ass, enjoying the feel of her on me. "What?"

She sighed, caressing my chest with her soft palms. "You're so fucking...sexy. It kills me."

"Kills you?" I quirked a brow.

"Yeah...I look at you, and I just . . ." She trailed off and met my gaze. "You came inside me before."

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

Bella's hips slightly rocked against me, her fingers weaving into my hair. "I keep thinking about it." She stopped talking, content to run her hands up, down, and around my torso, which was giving me a hard on.

Even so, I was waiting for it.

Drunk or not, I bet she's pissed.

"Oh...and you left this." Bella moved her hair to show me her neck, and I winced. It didn't look like a hickey—more like a big bruise now.

"I'm sorry." I ran my thumb over it.

Bella shuddered but recovered, reaching down to undo my belt. "I need it—real bad. You gonna give it to me, Mr. Cullen?"

I stopped her, confused. "Uh—"

"You own me," she whimpered, squeezing her tits. "It was so hot—you claimed me."

I furrowed my brow. "How many of those brews did you have?"

"I'm not drunk-drunk, I swear." She scooted lower, going for my belt again.

I slouched back, letting her as I drank my Heineken.

"Yeah, drink more." She pulled my zipper down. "Maybe-maybe then we can do some real kinky shit. The real kind, yeah." She nodded.

"The real kind?" Even though I was still confused, I laughed as she started to jack my dick. Bella's just too fucking cute sometimes—all the time.

"I don't know, but I bet you do. We could watch a porn and do everything they do. You can be Mr. Cullen, and I'll be your student. And you teach...sex things." She stared at her hand while it worked my cock. "Hmm. I'll try anything. I'll do anything. As long as I do it with you...it's not wrong." Bella backed up a little more, bending her head.

"That's hot." I thought that role play shit sounded really fucking hot. Christ. "But I like everything the way it is—"

"Me too!" she shouted. "I love everything we do, too. You-you never come inside me…or my mouth, and I want that. I dunno why, but I do—come in my mouth this time." She sucked me back deep, and my hips rose from the bed.

"Bella—" Yeah, I was rock-hard, but my head was still fucked. Even more so now that Bella thinks my behavior was okay. I mean…I didn't know what to think, but I was glad she wasn't angry. Earlier, I was fine with how I'd reacted, but now…?

I should have spoken to her or something, broken my feelings down before I acted.

That's not really me, though.

However, I've been trying my best to think before I do.

And now I realize that I might have overreacted . . . No, I definitely overreacted.

Bella licked down my shaft, her eyes locking to mine. "I'm not worried about getting pregnant."

"You're not?" I raised a brow. "You wanna baby?" I didn't even know what I wanted, which just solidified it—what I did before was dumb.

But if Bella wants a baby…

I could fuck with that. I'd work, she'd stay home…we'd get married.

She'd be mine forever, and that was the only thought I had before.

As long as it was something she wanted, though, I wouldn't tell her no.

Mine forever.

Bella started to jack my cock even faster. "I've been on birth control for—"

"What?" I pushed on her shoulders. "You—"

"I asked my doctor for them, a long time ago, just in case, and he never told Renee. I didn't…" She frowned. "I wasn't having sex, but I was afraid…because of my mom. I'm not stupid," she giggled again, placing her mouth on me once more, making me forget.

I groaned, pushing her head down a bit, needing to get farther in there.

Bella gagged, and I pulled her up, remembering . . .

"You—you didn't tell me." I panted, placing my bottle down on the nightstand. "You—"

"I didn't hide it either," she said. "They're always in my purse, and I know I must've taken one in front of you once. We never spoke about it…and I don't mind condoms." Her eyes fell away from me. "To be honest, at first—when we were first together—I didn't wanna tell you. If you knew, you'd wanna do it without condoms, and...I didn't-didn't know if...like if I could trust you? There's so many things out there." She slurred a little. "But now that some time has passed, and you've been tested...and I trust you, I've been okay with you not using one. But then you always put a rubber on anyway."

I nodded, and I couldn't believe that I was a little sad at that—hearing that. "Um…" I grabbed my cock, placing it back inside my boxers. "I just—wanna chill tonight."

My head was full; I thought it might explode. All the shit before I left. That crap with Demetri, and now...

Bella being on the pill isn't a bad thing, but...

I just didn't know.

She never breathed a word about it. To me, her reluctance to tell me, thinking I'd just miraculously know . . .

Her omitting that fact—intentionally or forgetfully—was the same as lying.

Bella gaped at me. "But…I was just being honest. I don't understand."

"Neither do I," I whispered, shocked at myself. While my body betrayed what I was saying, I didn't feel like fooling around. "You lied to me."

"No, I didn't." She shook her head, and she tried to go for my pants again.

Wordlessly, I pushed her hands away.

"If I would have told you in the beginning, you wouldn't wanna use condoms. Using rubbers and the pills...it's safer. And I can't say no to you. I would have let you...when you could'a had anything. I couldn't tell you from jump, but then...when I trusted you, I let you...I let you fuck me without one—no matter if you pulled out, and you never even asked my permission that first time, but I didn't stop you. I never stop you. I never say no, and you say whatever." Her face crumbled, and she started crying before she curled up on her side.

"Baby…" I sighed, placing my hand on her hip. "Why are you crying? Talk to me some more." Needless to say, I felt like shit after that rant. Most of all, because she was absolutely correct. Had I known? Forget about it. I'd never put a rubber on.

She rolled over. "You're upset—you want a baby."

"No," I said. "I just want you."

"Why are you upset?" She clawed at me. "I'll stop taking them—"

"No." I leaned back to look at her. "Relax."

"I wanna get married and have babies someday. But if you want that now, it's okay." She hugged me tight.

I shook my head, staring up to the ceiling, and I reminded myself that she's drunk, to be patient...to be all the things I've been trying to be.

"I'm not too young. I know I want you, and that's not going to change. So, why not?" She sobbed into my neck. "We could never be like Renee and Charlie—"

"You went from not wanting to be around me and now you're talkin' marriage? Babies?" I laughed, and I hadn't forgotten about our argument from earlier. "You confuse me." I was speechless, trying to keep my anger at bay.

Since I've met Bella, she's changed in many ways—I've changed, too, for the better. She's tougher to the outside world while being totally submissive to me at times. I try my hardest not to take advantage of that—knowing she's very impressionable.

And my behavior before I left…

I felt guilty for placing that kind of pressure on her.

But all those fears I have…they're very real.

"I always wanna be with you." She crashed her lips to mine. "You need to believe me, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you believe me. I'm yours…forever." She sniffled, and I smiled wide.

"You promise?" I nuzzled my nose to hers.

"Always." Her fingers wove into my hair. "You act like…you're lucky, but I'm lucky…because I have you…a man who cares so much, a man who…Christ, Edward, when you touch me…I mean, I came alive when I met you. I don't—don't need drugs or anything. You're my high. I live just to be with you. And I hate being alone—without you. I thought if I was occupied until you came back—going out was so I wouldn't feel alone, sad without you."

I grinned, resting my forehead to her chin, and I wanted to believe her words.

"Believe me," she begged, holding my jaw and making me look at her. "I know I'm young, but I know what I want—that's you and our future." She moaned, kissing me deep and reaching for my dick again. "I need it."

I blew out a breath; she got me going with that kiss again, and she was frantic. "Go 'head," I whispered, folding my arms behind my head.

Regardless of my thoughts, regardless of the fact that we should talk some more, I wasn't going to deny her.

Because she was right; she never denies me.

Bella stroked my cock a few times, and then she climbed on top of me—panting and wearing a hint of a smile, rushing to fuck me.

It was actually...adorable and sexy, which made things fade away.

As soon as she sat on it and I entered her, my abs stiffened. But I couldn't focus on myself, staring up at Bella as she started to ride me—watched her get lost on my cock.

"Oh my God…" She tossed her head back, going faster, digging her nails into my chest for a few and then she calmed down. "This is my cock—I need—it—sometimes." She sounded all nonchalant-like and too fucking cute. "I—I—need—you!" Bella bared her teeth, gripping the headboard.

My eyes widened, and I tried to control my own breathing.

But then Bella slowed only to stop and tear off the T-shirt. "Suck my nipples." She bent low, letting me have one, and I bit it to lick it between my teeth—eliciting this loud-ass moan. "Yeah, yeah, yeah…" she whined, close.

My finger went right for her clit, making circles, and then she grunted—her body stiffening and yet shaking as she came. "Oh…" She shuddered, opening her eyes to smile at me.

I sat up, holding onto her hips so she didn't fall. "C'mere."

Bella's lips touched mine, and I rolled us over, our bodies still connected. "Yes, now, you fuck me!" she shouted.

"Shhhh." I let out a breathy chuckle. "You drive me crazy, you know that? But I love you...I love you so fucking much, baby."

"I-I've been crazy…since I met you, and I don't care." She was serious now. "I…I'm doing things I never thought I'd do." She squirmed below me.

I grinned, pulling back to slam into her once, making her gasp.

"Listen…um…" She pushed into me. "It's love…I think it's just love…makes us crazy, but I don't really feel crazy." She palmed my cheeks. "I just love you. I feel complete…but you need to get it into your head. I'm not going anywhere."

I gulped, my mouth a bit dry—and I was torn between wanting to fuck the fuck out of her and keep talking. I dug her words, and I needed to trust her.

Just like Bella gave me her heart with no guarantees, I needed to hand mine over.

I thought I did, though...

I needed to trust her.

That was my problem.

"I-I don't trust easy."

"I know." She kissed me softly. "I just hope…one day…"

"Wait…I do…trust you." Every thought in my head told me I did, but… "I don't lock anything away—"

"I'm not going to leave you. I can't…even if I wanted to, which I don't. You trust me with a lot, but not personal stuff."

I hitched her leg to my waist to dig in there deeper for a second, my thrusts quickly gaining speed. "Damn…" I tilted my head to the side, gazing down to her as I rolled my hips. Bella was soaked, so warm, and…

I stopped moving. "I just want you…I want you always. I want your eyes to always be on me. I wanna be on your mind constantly, and maybe I'm old fashioned—I think men and women have roles." I shrugged, leaving her to lie next to her. "I want you to strive and go to school…but I wanna care for you, too." I palmed my face, not even sure what I was saying anymore.

Bella pulled my hands away. "I'm always thinking about you and looking at you," she giggled, ghosting her fingertips over my chest. "Always…you don't even know." She moaned and started to attack my neck with kisses. "Have me…take me." She tried pulling me on top of her. "There's nothing I love more…than when you have me. When you're fucking me…" She jacked my cock again.

"Roll over." By now, I wanted to finish—both fucking and our conversation.

But, no.

I was done talking.

There was nothing to speak about, really.

Bella's mine. She's belonged to me since day one, and I'd just have to make sure she stayed mine.

Like I've been doing…

Bella was fast to get on her back, spread her legs, and I actually left the bed. My jeans were pooled around my ankles, which is never very comfortable. Before I threw them shits toward the hamper, I looked to the clock, seeing that it was a few minutes after midnight.

I dug into the pocket.

"Here…happy birthday, baby." I tossed the ring over to her.

Bella gasped. "Yes!" She scrambled to get to me, and I caught her before she hit the floor—always getting tangled in these fucking sheets in her haste. "Oh, God!" Bella hugged me tight. "Yes!"

"You didn't even open it yet." I chuckled, bringing us toward the center of the bed.

"Oh…" She reached for the box.

With her glorious ass in my face, I hopped up to enter her once. "Fuck…" As I started to move, I watched as Bella opened the box. "You like it?" My hands grasped her hips, and I started to bounce her on and off of me.

She was quiet.

"Bella…" I stopped, bending low to kiss her spine. "If you don't like it—"

"I love it," she whispered, and I saw her place it on her left ring finger.

I smiled, about to gather her into my arms, needing to face her.

She stopped me. "No, keep going." Her voice was emotional.

I pulled out altogether, huffing and sitting back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She turned with tears in her eyes. "It's beautiful." She hugged her hand. "I love it. Thank you."

"Good." I pulled her legs, unfolding them to hover over her.

Bella hugged me close, tucking her face into my neck.

I entered her, feeling at home and cozy again, feeling fucking amazing once more. My thrusts were hard and yet on the slow side, just enjoying the feel of her, not wanting to let her go, but needing to finish—hoping to get one more orgasm out of Bella before I lost my shit.

When I felt Bella shaking—not in the good way—I backed up to look down at her. She tried to hide her face, but I wouldn't let her.

Bella was sobbing without sound, one of those hard-core cries.

Dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say, or what the problem was. "Baby…calm down." I placed my lips to her head. "Talk to me. Just—"

"It's not—not an engagement ring," she whimpered out.

My jaw almost hit the mattress. "You thought…" I hugged her tight again. "Bella, not yet. It's not an engagement ring yet. But this ring…it comes before it." I lifted her hand. "This is what you get before that."

She sniffled. "I just feel stupid."

I shook my head. "Don't." I placed kisses down her neck, those loud and wet ones that make her smile.

But she wasn't smiling yet.

"You wanna marry me?" I asked.

She pouted, her chin wrinkling as she nodded. "So much."

Even if she was crying, she still looked too fucking cute. "Good." I pushed her hair back. "That's good…'Cause next time…when I have that ring, I won't be nervous." I gave her an Eskimo kiss.

"O-okay." Her voice was shaky, and I'd get my hands on one tomorrow if she'd just stop crying now. I hated the disappointed look on her face.

"I promise, baby. Someday soon, and you're not going to know when. It'll be a surprise. I'll ask…I'll have that ring, and I'll get down on one knee. I'll do it the right way," I whispered, locking my gaze to hers. "Okay?" I nipped her lips.

"Okay." She'd calmed down. "I still love it, though. Thank you." She admired her birthday present.

"Cool."

I never seem to do the correct thing, as I still have a lot to learn about life and shit—need to learn how to deal with things, handle certain situations like a human being.

But that…I knew how I wanted to ask Bella.

I'd seen enough movies to know what to do, and I swore I would one day.

I'd do that correctly.

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