CM PUNK
CM: Nobody will believe I'm leaving.
Vinnie: This is all I can think of.
CM: What about creative?
Vinnie: They wanted to have you be in a
program with Jerry Lawler.
CM: Huh?
Vinny: I know. Didn't make sense to me either.
CM: But, does anyone actually think John Xena will be fired?
Again? Last time he wasn't even off TV.
Vinny: Nah, the fans won't remember that.
CM: I like how gullible our core fan base is.
(John Xena walks in.)
John: Yo! Word up, homie!
Vinnie Mac Daddy beams like a school girl.
CM shakes his head in disgust.
Vinnie: My man!
John Xena: I just got back from the Kids-Teen Convention.
My line for autographs was almost as long as the one for
Miley Cyrus.
Vinnie: How was Justin Beiber?
John: Awesome!
Vinnie: I want to get him for Summer Sham.
( CM Punk is getting agitated listening to them. )
CM: What about the Pay-Per-View?
( Mac Daddy and Xena look at CM like he's crazy. )
Vinnie: Oh, John is retaining cleanly by submission.
( CM looks disgusted. )
CM: Nobody believes John is a submission technicion.
John: I know I suck, but I still make more money than you do?
CM: Well, that isn't right.
Vinnie: Hey, he makes me tons of money.
John: Yeah, those kids do love me.
CM: Why don't you take time off and learn how to wrestle?
John: Why should I?
WWE Films presents The Rock and John Xena in...
Beat Down
Directed by Cripple H who also has a part in the movie.
Movie will be released in limited locations.
Only Connecticutt will be having it.
But don't worry, it'll be released on DVD after two weeks.
Rock and Xena play bickering bounty hunter pals.
Hornswaggle is also featured in this new WWE movie no one
will care about.
Now onto Money in the Tank
Let's see what all the hub-bub is
with the WWE sheep.
"Yes folks we promised you a great show tonight, but we have to break
that promise, as usual."
It is July 17, 2011 and we are in Chicago, Ill! We hope we
won't disappoint our fans in the Windy City too much.
We're kicking off with the Wackdown Money in the Tank ladder
match first. We have the usuals here with us.
Burger King and Michael Bowl are here, boys and girls. Yay!
Remember kiddies, when the clock strikes midnight, Mr. Punk is
no longer with the WWE. Uh oh! Yeah right.
1. Sin Cara vs. Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Heath Slater vs. Justin Gabriel
Yes folks, this is a battle that isn't important, nor does anyone care about.
WWE announcers refused to acknowledge the Doomsday Device/Road Warriors tribute with the
Chicago crowd yelling "LOD, LOD!"
Daniel Bryan wins the case. Let's hope he has a real match at a PPV and doesn't "just wait for
the right time to cash it in."
Kelly Kelly who definately isn't an undeserving champion will be defending her title against
Brie Bella who certainly isn't a waste of time.
The WWE Divas championship. Ugh!
In a typical divas match, Kelly Kelly retained that worthless title.
Up next is Pig Slow against Mark Henry. Oh goodie! I can't wait.
Mark Henry destroys Pig Slow for the win and demolishes him.
Henty broke Slow's ankle.
Next Vinnie Mac Daddy claims he did all he could to try and resign CM Punk.
Up next, the Flaw Money in the Tank ladder match.
Alberto Del Crapp-O vs. Coffee Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R Lie vs.
Alex Miley vs. The Mizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr.
Oh gee! Alberto wins. Ugh!
Up next we have the 100th match between Randy Boreton and Christian Cage for the
Championsip!
Oh wow! Christian finally regains the title. Of course it was by DQ.
John Xena vs. CM Punk for the title is next!
Oh boy.
It's too bad the Chicago crowd can't enjoy some good action from the
NWA ( National Wrestling Alliance ).
CM Punk wins the title! Oh my, let's allow this storyline to continue.
Oh well, at least John Xena lost clean. But you know he's not getting fired
obviously.