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Higher
Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Journey
A couple of hours had gone by while Bella slept, tucked into my arms, and I said a million silent prayers—thanking God she was all right.
Bella always swore no one gave a fuck about her, but everyone flooded that emergency room—it wasn't long until Alice showed up with both of her parents and Charlie arrived. Her father had a few words for me, too.
Everyone thought it was my fault, and I agreed with them, but I wasn't leaving Bella's side—not for any of them, not for nobody—and Bella wouldn't let me go either.
She has yet to say she's forgiven me, but she wouldn't let me go . . .
That gave me hope.
It was around three a.m. when Carlisle and Esme showed up, worried. Emmett must have called them.
But Bella and I ignored them all until the doctor came in to check on her. Bella's blood work tested positive for trace amounts of the Valium, but that she hadn't taken a lethal dose.
My girl was telling the truth, and I'd believed her, although she worried me. She gets depressed, she reaches for something to dull the ache…
While she's repeated herself many times, Bella only had to say this once: "I thought about it." And she wanted that because she thought I didn't want her anymore. That's what stuck with me. God forbid shit took a little longer than I thought, and I didn't seek her out until Monday. She might have been dead by then . . . because of a miscommunication, because I was a fucking idiot who just assumed she was okay, because I let my anger toward her control me in a way, because for once in my life I was trying to be this logical thinker as well.
Meanwhile, I had this…hope that she wouldn't have had the balls to go through with it.
This doctor, however, still wanted to put her on a seventy-two-hour hold in the mental ward or something—fucking suicide watch—regardless of her blood test confirming her story.
Renee agreed with him, and I said no along with Bella.
After a shrink came down to talk to her—get to the bottom of things—he actually urged her to get into rehab, since she was abusing drugs not prescribed to her in order to feel better.
Both doctors were wrong.
My girl wasn't a junkie, nor was she fucking suicidal. With how upset Bella probably was . . . had she gone to a doctor, they might have put her on fucking Valium. She hit a rough patch, but I still couldn't . . . grasp the suicide concept. True, her words stayed with me, yet I refused to believe them.
I knew what was best for Bella.
When she lived with Renee, she was actually doing drugs. Bella's been clean for months now—not weed, not hard liquor, and she'll hardly drink a brew with me these days. She doesn't need it.
Bella needs me.
She has me, and I'm not going anywhere.
Renee and Charlie, who'd agreed with both doctors, thought they knew what was best for Bella.
I argued with them until my father broke us up.
It was madness and mayhem, and then Bella demanded to be discharged. Medically, she was cleared, was told she'd be a little groggy because of what she'd taken, but otherwise fine.
I helped Bella get dressed and then we left the hospital.
Everyone reconvened outside while the sun rose. We were all glad that Bella was okay, but she was getting aggravated—insisted she didn't take the whole bottle of pills like Renee had told everyone. Her mother was ridiculous, putting on this show.
Bella just wanted to get out of there, and so did I.
My father said he'd give Emmett and Jasper a ride home, so Bella and I went a different route.
During the drive to our new house, I was actually happy, excited, but I was also a little bit pissed at Bella for scaring me.
I let it go, knowing everything—narcotics, that bullshit neighborhood, fucking everything—was behind us.
Save my cousin and my buddy, we'd never see any of those people again. To them, we'd disappeared. We also won't have to worry about getting shot, robbed, or stabbed. This is New York City, and that shit can happen anywhere. But in our new area, every risk we'd worried about before was significantly lower.
"Where are we going?" Bella pulled her knees up to her chest.
I gave her hand a squeeze. "Home."
"But—"
"You'll see." I grinned.
Bella still wore a frown, looked withdrawn.
"You'll see," I said again as I drove along our new block.
"I don't wanna stay at Carlisle's if you're not—"
"I'm never leaving you again." I rushed out, pulling into our new driveway. Once I killed the engine, I turned to face her. "Baby…this is ours."
Bella looked out the window, and her head rapidly whipped back to me. "You didn't have to do this." Her hand palmed my cheek. "You didn't—"
"I wanted to." I leaned forward to kiss her. She's yet to give me a true Bella smile, but I had a feeling I'd see one soon. "Come on."
After I helped Bella out of the van, I led her up the stairs to our new home.
She faced the door, but I'd backed down a few steps, which made her turn to me.
Smiling wide, I got down on one knee as I dug my mother's ring out of my pocket. This was the moment I'd been waiting for. I wanted to have something for Bella before we started our life together as a married couple. I needed us to have our own place in the world before we said I do. I needed us to be away from that neighborhood, away from the garbage and bullshit.
"Bella, my love…" I opened the box, peeking up to her, and Bella looked surprised as fuck—eyes wide and gaping like a fish. "This is our house…I swear that hustling is behind me. I'll never touch any of that shit again." I drew in a shaky breath. "I just needed time…Time so I could do all this…I love you so fucking much, baby, and I want you forever. Will you marry me?"
Bella stepped down to have a seat in front of me. She wasn't crying, but she wasn't smiling either. "I need you to know that I love you just as you are." Now she had tears in her eyes. "When I thought I lost you—"
"I told you I needed time." I leaned my forehead to hers. "I didn't think. I thought—It doesn't matter. We should have talked more, so I could've explained that I needed a couple of days to do some things, not that I wanted days to distance myself from you." I pushed her messy hair back.
"I didn't know…" Bella cleared her throat. "I thought you were mad I'd gone to Renee's. In my head, you were doing all that shady stuff for me, when I didn't need any of it. Only you, Edward. Only you." She lifted my hand to kiss it. "I love you for you, and if anything ever happened to you—" she paused; I waited with bated breath, the ring nearly burning my fingertips, as I needed to place it on her already "—and I thought if I wasn't in your life, you'd stop, wouldn't need to sling. But I'm too selfish. I couldn't leave you."
She looked down. "I ended up falling asleep at her house that day, and then I thought you'd come get me…" She inhaled deeply through her nose. "You need to believe me, though. All I ever wanted was you. You're all I need. All I'll ever need."
I placed my lips to her, crying into her mouth. "Say yes. Just say yes, and I'll show you. Please, baby, I'll—"
"You've already shown me...in your way. I just didn't know until now." She wiped my tears away. "You promised me the night we met . . . You'd take me higher if I let you, and, Edward, you have." Her voice broke. "Yes…I wanna marry you. I wanna love you forever…forever."
I sniffled while I leaned away to place the ring on her finger. Her other ring was in the way, but it didn't matter, the both of them fit perfectly. "Do you want to see your new house?" I grinned.
"I still can't believe you." She shook her head in disbelief, chuckling—fucking finally smiling. "You're crazy."
"Crazy for you."
She nodded. "Me too."
I held up the keys, wanting Bella to do the honors.
Then I gathered her into my arms to carry her over the threshold once the door was unlocked. We entered into the living room, and I didn't go crazy. Our home has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a basement, and I was sure . . . since Jasper and Emmett wanted to leave the 'hood, too, they'd end up staying with us soon enough.
"It's perfect," Bella cried, but she was still grinning while looking around. "You bought it? It's ours?"
"All yours." I held her waist.
"Ours." She palmed her face, turning to bury her head into me.
"We'll get married, you'll finish school…and there's two extra bedrooms upstairs." I pointed up just in time for Bella to lift her head.
She giggled. "For Em and Jazz?"
I laughed. "Well…it's your house."
"They can't stay there." Her face fell for the briefest of seconds, only to smile wide again, and that made my heart swell. "We're engaged."
"We are." I nodded, holding her tightly. "Jazz and Em can bunk here if they want, for now…In the future, I hoped we'd store the kiddos up there." I chuckled. "We'll have babies?"
"Yeah…" Her voice was emotional. "Definitely."
"We'll live happily ever after, too." I clamped my eyes closed, willing that to be the truth. "Right?"
"Yeah…You swear you're not—"
"It's all behind me, baby." My nose nuzzled hers. "I'm—I'm just a boring HVAC tech…and a sometimes pot smoker." I hoped she wouldn't make me quit.
Bella grinned. "You're Edward."
"You'll be mine forever?" I asked.
"Forever." She gazed into my eyes, running her hands up my chest. "Where's our bedroom?"
Chuckling, I laughed even harder when Bella squealed before I ran us up the stairs—another few steps toward our happily ever after.
Thank you for reading this little tale of mine.
Thank you for embarking on this journey with me, your Brooklyn tour guide.
Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement you've left.
Each and every one means the world to me!
I hope you've enjoyed it.
Please leave me your thoughts.
The epilogue is up next!